3 Dreams

7.25.05
9:03 PM
I’ve had three dreams of note lately.
The first two I had while sleeping in the Alexander Bed & Breakfast in Philadelphia, PA Saturday night and the third I had last night.
In the first, myself and someone I couldn’t recognize had this tree creature (looked like tall, wizened old man, but with something fronds for hair) that was about to die. We had to find a place to put him so he could regain his strength. We were running around Philadelphia desperately looking for anywhere because he was about to die. We set him down only to realize he was already dead. I was incredibly saddened by this and a woman walking her dog allowed her it to piss on the face of this dead creature. I was immediately enraged and spit on her. I screamed, “Don’t you have any respect?” and that was all I remember of that one.
Next, I was somewhere and I walked passed a music store that has appeared in several of my dreams over the past few years. In my mental geography it is located on First Ave. between 68th and 69th street, right where I grew up. The first time I saw it in my dream, it was brand new and had grand opening signs up as well as posters for a Heavy D album, (maybe). The next time I was there, there were ads for the new Nine Inch Nails album (this was around 2001 or 2002) and last night it had yet another new Nine Inch Nails album. The title was “NIN:NIN” and the cover was just Trent Reznor in a red baseball cap. After I saw the store, I saw a person I was supposed to know that did stunts for the Matrix and was walking towards a scene they were shooting a scene in the street in which Agents fired a line of shots to the left and then to the right. The person (who was on crutches) dodged the shots to the left, but then I was hit two or three times in the chest by the shots fired to the right. I lay in the street dying and then I wasn’t me; I had a third person view (from above) and my body wasn’t mine either, it was Kyle from South Park. He was lying there dead and all I remember after that point is staring at the body for a long time and really feeling the finality of death. This wasn’t a cartoon character; it was me in the shape of Kyle from South Park, but actually shot dead in the street. Both were very powerful, and I felt very ‘there’.
The third dream took place in this terrifying version of the New York Athletic Club. The Club is normal in some places, but in others the hallways are broken down and dilapidated, there are doors that lead to rooms made up of piping and chain links fences and stairwells and a room that holds a very dark unseen thing, like a force.
The dream started at some hotel where I was with Beck. He was talking about using cool noises and sounds on his albums and I told him I know of a room where the wind makes a really cool noise that he should record. He was interested so we went to find it. It happened that the room I was talking about is the room that contains the really terrible thing I mentioned above. I knew that, but the me in my dream didn’t, or he didn’t know EXACTLY what was there, he might have had an idea there was something bad, but couldn’t remember the thing itself. Anyway, the NYAC happened to be right across the street so Beck and entered and started looking for the room. We found ourselves on the roof where a person was proclaiming or preaching to a group of little kids. I remember this figure screaming that someone’s enemies would all die although I can’t remember whose. From there we continued looking for the room and found ourselves at the foot of a staircase covered in red velvet. The way was blocked by a bronze statue of the founder of the Club reading to kids (it looked a lot like the Hans Christian Anderson statue in Central Park), and I knew there was a reason the statue was blocking the way but we climbed around it anyway. By this time, I was with Beck and some girl. I don’t remember anything except she was rather attractive and wearing sort of a wife beater. We climbed the stairs and found ourselves in a room with red walls and ceiling and red carpet on the floor. Against the wall was an elaborately decorated red coffin that I knew held the body of the founder of the Club. The girl was scared, Beck didn’t really react and I was in the grip of a fear so intense that I woke up. Right before I did, I noticed that beyond the coffin was a doorway that lead to a place even worse than the room with the coffin. I can’t be sure but it might have been the room containing the dark thing that I mentioned. That room was frightening in a way that only objects imbued with a strong emotion can be frightening. This room was drafty at first with wind whistling through an open window or a crack in the wall or ceiling or something, but the whistling wasn’t just the wind, it was a sound made by this unnamable thing that represents everything I relate to fear in my subconscious. When I woke up after first being in that room, I was unable to move in my bed. I think the entrance to that room was in my sight at the end of this (Beck/NYAC) dream.
I had come to a room before (what might have been) that room a long time ago in 1997 or 96 maybe. I wrote about it in my real journal. There were two or three rooms that, for some reason, held religious significance (one room was John the Baptist’s, one was Christ’s and one belonged to Satan) and one that held a small sand pit the size of a doorway on the floor (Satan’s, if I remember correctly). I knew in that dream that I was not to touch that sandpit EVER. But for all the fear the first two or three rooms held, I knew there was a final room. It might or might not have been the same room. I had the dream in the room a long time after the one with the religious significance, but who knows how things like this work.
Anyway I have had three dreams in two nights that focus on death, loss, dying, sadness and utter, abject terror.