This could be a problem...

Recently my good friend Phil celebrated his Birthday. As a surprise present I sent down a few of my ninja to hang out with him and entertain him because, what's cooler than hanging out with ninjas? However, I just received news today that this group of ninja I sent tried to assassinate him! Of course Phil, being a very well-trained and dangerous swordsman was able to dispatch them quickly and I'm very glad about that, but the problem here is this direct violation of my orders. My Tenchu ninja only obey two people; myself, as their leader and my second in command, Onikage. Although Phil is an elite member of a very old and powerful pirate clan around the Silver Bluff/Santa Cruz area and although pirates and the Tenchu are mortal enemies, I consider Phil a very close friend and I would NEVER harm Phil or try to harm him in any way. That could start a full out pirate/ninja war and no one wants that. This disobedience and attack are just the symptoms of a larger malady I fear…what was the reason for it? Who ordered it? Since I wouldn’t do something like this, as I said, and Onikage is as loyal to me as all my ninja, then that means there is a random, radical element amongst my ninja ranks. Perhaps this is the start of a ninja rebellion? I shudder to think of the devastation that would cause. The Tenchu have existed for centuries…in the shadows. If there actually was something like that in the works and it came to full fruit…the world would be helpless. There would exist only two kinds of people, the dead and those who have yet to be mowed down by the blade of the Tenchu. Whatever the case, I need to get in touch with Onikage to find out what happened and as soon as possible because I’ve heard rumors that Phil is on his way here to see me…and he is NOT happy…

I am telling you all...
My face is getting thin and cracking a little even now.

Actual proof that God exists...

The druggie bitch has a urinary tract infection. I am now a true believer, someone say Hallelujah.

Fuck you, Internet.

Anyway, the "This one's for you, Megan" entry was supposed to have a shot of Megan at the bottom, but, surprise surfuckingprise, the Internet didn't do what I want so now I have two fucking copies of the same entry with no pictures. Although if you want to know who Megan is, she's on the left of the test picture and although I told you to ignore that entry, you have my permission FOR A FEW MINUTES to regard this entry so fucking enjoy it. Bastard Internet fuckers...

This one's for Megan...

I'd like to take a moment to not berate and bitch about the two human slugs that surround me almost constantly at my apartment and share with "all y'all" a few fond memories about someone who rocks very hard and has been doing so for about 4 years now (Note: There is a very real possibility that this special someone has been rocking consistently for more than 20 years, but since I have only been acquainted with said special someone for 4 years, I can only report upon what I know to be true. Thank you for your understanding and milk.)
This special someone goes by the name of Megan and, despite her geographical handicap (New Jersey ), she does indeed, as I stated before, rock and rock hard.
The first time I saw Megan she was slathering a large piece of muslin with primer (as she is want to do). A few minutes after being introduced to her, she got the aforementioned primer in her eye and had to run to the bathroom to wash it out. Although I had only actually spent a few minuets with her before the primer incident, I could tell that she rocked (I have that ability...with great power comes great responsibility...).
Ok, here's where it gets weird...the above account took place in November of 1999, between then and the early part of 2003 I have only mental snapshots of spending time with Megan. I remember that she and I had a callback together for a terrible student-written show called "The Wall" in which I would have been Megan abusive boyfriend. Fortunately, Megan was not cast as the object of my abuse because even acting like I was abusing a person like Megan would have been MASSIVELY damaging to my Karma Meter (incidentally, the actress who did get the part was very easy to abuse because of her personality and on the third and final night of the show she "convinced" me to hit her for real...the audience ate it up. Perhaps they wanted to hit her too? I guess we'll never know...No, wait. Yes, the audience did want to hit her too, I remember a few people telling me this afterwards. Never mind, mystery solved.). Another snapshot is of her and I (although I don't actually spending any time with her there) at the White Trash Paradise of a Six Flags Great Adventure buried deep in the heart of...JERSEY. Some crazy weird school trip. I remember my man Gizzy Cizzy taking pictures of families with mullets and F.B.D.(Full Body Denim...yes, it really happens), creepy.
Sadly, aside from those two (rather clear) memories of my encounters with Megan, all others are blurry...until the early part of my senior year of college.
Megan and I were both called back for one of the most wonderful shows I have ever had the privilege to be a part of (The Universal Language by David Ives) and one of the exercises was to play a game of Charades with the other person (this was mainly a two person show). I picked "Movie" as my category and "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas" as my movie (because it's one of my favorites). Now, you can imagine that Fear and Loathing is NOT the easiest thing to just grab in a game of Charades... BUT Megan goes right ahead and gets it on the first guess. Why? Because she double-majored in Theatre and Rocking and minored in Charades? NO, because she remembered me blathering about F&L in a conversation we had had almost half a decade ago in our freshmen year. And how did I feel about this remembrance? Flattered? Yes. Amazed? Yes. Terrified? A little...but compelled. From that point, Megan and I (and our Prof at the time, Elizabeth) decided that we should do a scene from Universal Language. Long story short, we decided to do a scene from When Harry Met Sally...and it was awesome (that the shortest I have ever made something after saying "long story short").
Now, why did I take up time to explain to you all the Rock Machine that is Megan? Well, that's easy, because things that Rock are Awesome (which is Super Good) and since it's Good when Things are Good...it is therefore Good that Megan exists. So, yes. Also, I think some people might be getting tired of be destroying my roommates. No? Ok, we'll jump back on that Horse of Hatred, that Stallion of Slander, that Mare of Malice soon enough. But for today, I just wanted to take a moment to talk about someone who Rocks and is awesome and has made my life just that much better by simply being. So thanks Megan...you exist, you persist, you Rock.