End of the Month Music Bitchfest - October

Holy Bitchfest, Batman!!!*
 
Nine Inch Nails
Good news/bad news regarding Nine Inch Nails this month.
Or bad news/cocktease news, if you want to be a pessimist.
WHICH I DO NOT.
So.
A few weeks ago, Mouth Taped Shut (the mysterious behind-the-scenes blog for the Fincher remake of The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo...although I have a sneaking suspicion that it's being run by long time Nine Inch Nails co-hort and mindfucker, Rob Sheridan), posted a picture of Trent Reznor in front of a computer monitor looking kind of smug/confused.
Now why would Trent Reznor be smug and confused?
I will FUCKING TELL YOU WHY.
Because, if you looked at the address on the browser on his monitor (www.comesforthinthethaw.com/index2) and then entered that into YOUR browser...well...shit got real.
Or, more specifically, you got a message, the tag line of the movie, "What Is Hidden In Snow, Comes Forth In The Thaw" (which is, apparently, an old, Swedish adage...a creepy, old, Swedish adage). When you click on said old and creepy adage, you got what amounted to a frost-obscured slideshow of images from the new Dragon Tattoo with a really annoying, high pitched warble looped endlessly in the background with the occasional distorted burst of sound from the movie; some room ambience, a blur of voices, etc.
At least you did on the first day.
Over the next week, the images would change and a new sound was layered on until, at the end of the week, there was a fully constructed piece of music.
Beautiful, haunting, cold music.
At the start of the next week, everything was taken down and a new sound was posted, a plinking, circusy tune that reeked of tainted innocence.
As before, each day added a new layer.
The week after that, a deep, bassy bass note echoed to and fro, from nowhere to nowhere, then, by the end of that week, there were hammer dulcimers and tidal guitars and a whole buncha other Coil meet Aphex Twin ("Drukqs" Aphex, not "Aphex Acid" Aphex) meets other stuff stuff.
And, just today, everything was cleared out again and replaced with a series of out of tune, d-verbed piano chords.
It actually sounds a bit like something you'd hear in the Haunted Mansion.
Which is cool.
Not sure if this is going to continue until the release of the film, but, if it does, I'm fine with that.
Along with Comes Forth In The Thaw dot com, there is a website for What Is Hidden In Snow dot com, but it's an ARG relating to the framed, pressed flowers in the film and really has nothing to do with Nine Inch Nails.
Not musically, anyway.
Now, while this whole not-really-an-ARG is interesting and all, it seems to cement the fact that we aren't going to get any new Nine Inch Nails or How To Destroy Angels until after December 21st, 2011.
And, knowing Reznor's callous, utter disregard for how hard or loud his fans whine, probably not until Q2 2012.
Oh, and if you think I'm just saying this so Reznor (a dedicated fan of my Monthly Bitchfest) reads this and releases a bunch of stuff, just to prove me wrong...well, you've got problems.
Mind problems.
 
Aside from this not-really-an-ARG nonsense, Nine Inch Nails contributed a cover of U2's "Zoo Station" to Q Magazine's "'Ahk-toong Bay-bee Covered".
Apparently, "Achtung Baby" is 25 years old.
The cover is less NIN-y than I would have suspected and kind of builds/drags (depending on your taste/opinion) during the last, oh, two and a half minutes.
In a way, it reminds me a bit of their cover of Gary Numan's "Metal", but without all the interesting stuff at the end.
Something about the cover makes me think either Reznor simply picked the first song off the back of the album or someone assigned it to him thinking that this was the most sonically nuanced track and figured Reznor would do something interesting with it.
Feels kind of rushed, I suppose.
Along with Nine Inch Nails, the album (only available with a copy of Q Magazine...a UK-only god damn magazine) features covers by Gavin Friday, Depeche Mode and a band you might know from my previous Monthly Bitchfests...
 
Oh, and "We're In This Together" (a NIN song from 1999's "The Fragile") was featured (in a horribly edited fashion) in the latest trailer for The Avengers.
It totally works.
Because, you know, the superheroes...are all in "this" together..."this" being trouble.
It's rumored that Trent Reznor is set to play Galactus...
That's not true.
He's set to play Dr. Klaw.
 
And, just four days ago, one Mr. Trevor Resnick posted on his thing: "lots of new music coming your way very soon".
Now, In Trentspeak, "soon" translates into "anywhere from six months to never" BUT, "very soon" translates to "roughly between a week and two weeks".
So it seems that he has insiders who are aware of the above comment regarding releasing a bunch of stuff just to spite me...
I'm assuming it will be the (two disc?) Dragon Tattoo score...but I just love being surprised by him...
 
Beck
I angrily downloaded his cover of John Martyn's "Stormbringer", then listened to and enjoyed it, angrily.
Other than that, no noise.
Oh, wait, there's a new Beck t-shirt.
Urge to kill...rising...
 
Eels
Nothing but the news that E has contributed a letter to the new book, "Dear Me", in which people (actors, writers, musicians etc.) write letters to their sixteen year old selves.
Meh.
 
Cake
Zip.
 
They Might Be Giants
Had a chance to listen to the superexclusive vinyl 7" I received.
Two songs good, two songs not so good (though the idea that the dark, folk ballade about Nikolai Tesla was originally slated for and quickly rejected from the Disney kids' album "Here Comes Science" is pretty hilarious...Flans sings about "Tesla's body, lying on the floor" and "an x-ray of Mark Twain's  skull").
No need to buy any new audio equipment.
Along with their continuing tour (Saturday, March 10th at Terminal 5!!! WOO!!!!!), TMBG announced they were releasing yet another rarities collection on November 1st, but, as it's only digital until after the discs ship on December 1st, they released it two days ago. It's called "Album Raises New and Troubling Questions" and, whether or not you like the band, you have to admit that's an excellent title.
The album is kind of a junk drawer of songs, featuring tracks written for their most recent album, "Join Us", that didn't quite fit in, their cover of "Havalina", their cover of "Tubthumping", some of the tracks they recorded with their brass band, one of the songs they did for Strongbad and a leftover kids song.
It's super hit or miss, but the hits are great, like Linnell's response to their kids song "I Am A Grocery Bag" called "Money For Dope", the album quality "Authenticity Trip", and an electronic reinterpretation of their old classic "Istanbul (Not Constantinople)" titled, well, "Electronic Istanbul (Not Constantinople)", obviously.
I've always felt that the level of a TMBG fan's fanaticism can be measured by just how unknown the tracks on a rarities album are to said TMBG fan.
I was aware of/familiar with less than half.
Which says...something.
Anyway, overall, this release is just for fans.
Head's up.
 
Meanwhile...
Marilyn Manson remains asleep under some foul-smelling blankets.
 
Garbage has slated the release of their new album for the fucking end of March/beginning of April 2012.
Which is ridiculous, since, as of October 17th, it was mastered.
I fucking hate the old fashioned way musicians continue to release music.
It strikes me that four of my five favorite bands are either unsigned or on their own label.
But, Garbage also contributed a U2 cover for the "Achtung Baby" tribute album.
Something about crazy horses.
The cover is pure Garbage, dark and electronic, then loud and sweeping, displaying that they are still capable of doing what made people love them, which is terribly exciting for the prospect of that new album...coming out in six fucking months.
Wazzers.
You can read a hugely in-depth interview with the Head Wazzers of Garbage, namely, Shirley Manson and Butch Vig by clicking the linky below. 
 
In a soul crushing interview earlier this month, Chris Vrenna, ex-NIN drummer/programmer and the mind behind Tweaker, said that the new Tweaker album (possibly due out before the end of the year) will be the last.
I am truly saddened by this.
While not every track was gold, there was some amazing stuff on their two releases, "The Attraction To All Things Uncertain" and "2 a.m. wakeup call" and I am going to miss them and the places they might have gone.
I continue to blame Marilyn Mason.
 
As a tiny, little side note: the new Puscifer album, "Conditions Of My Parole", is pretty solid.
Some excellent programming on there, proving that too many cooks can sometimes make a pretty tasty taco.
There is a song on there called "Horizons" and it feel very Grind Showy.
 
All right.
Like the Otter...you're free to go.
 
Cavalcade of Links
Drip-feed yourself some new Reznor/Ross compositions
Buy TMBG’s new rarities album
Nine Inch Nails' cover of U2's "Zoo Station"
Garbage's cover of U2's "Who Going To Ride Your Etc. Etc.":
Marilyn Manson, Twiggy and Madonna Wayne Gacy's 1994 appearance on Donahue:





*Batman is not mentioned in this month's Music Bitchfest

Subway? No Way!!

10.25.11
5:09 pm
 
Actually, until I start making more disposable income, I kind of have to take the Subway.
But, at least I can whine about it!!!
For instance:
You know how MTA just spent/is still continuously spending thousands of months and trillions of dollars in order to, somewhat, catch up with the trains in Washington D.C. five years ago?
You know, by utilizing bleeding edge tech to put up some shitty LED displays informing commuters when the next train is arriving?
God damn do they love to jerk themselves off about those fucking things...and then play around in the ejaculate like hungry porn stars...
Anyway, I was watching one of those earlier today (a shitty LED display, not a hungry porn star...), and saw the next train clock jump from three minutes to one minute.
"Okay," I thought, "that's not too crazy, what's sixty seconds among friends?"
But then...the train after that jumped from thirteen minutes...to eight minutes.
My first thought was: wormhole.
Obviously.
Then I figured that there must be a supercollider somewhere under the city of Manhattan (supercolliders do stuff to time, right?)
And then I realized that, despite millions of months and quintillions of dollars (over a hundred per month coming directly from yours truly), those fancy, astonishing-in-1992 train clocks...don't work correctly.
But, please, don't let MTA know.
I could easily see them suspending service on every train line going to and from Manhattan just to make these things work a little less badly.
Maybe only be off by four minutes...
**cue "Great, Big , Beautiful Tomorrow"**
Like I say (out loud) in response to those self-satisfied placards plastered all over the interiors of every fucking train: no, I don't care about when the next train is arriving, just that it is, in fact, arriving, and will continue to do so for more than a week at a time, you cockmeisters.
Oh, and, MTA, if you even think about shutting down stations in order to put in carpeting (AKA Wino Vomit Sponges/Disco Crackhead Yoga Mats), I swear I'm going terrorist and killing the world.
And it will be your fault.
There.
At least now, when I get arrested or flagged or something because of that statement, they'll know why.
And I'll totally get a fair trial, because my peers (of which my jury will consist)...are rad.
 
In other news, I finished reading Chuck P.'s latest, Tell-All.
I might be done with this guy.
After Haunted, everything has been down hill.
His characters' gimmicks and quirks are getting in the way of the story and everything feels smaller than it used to, less significant.
Rant was also pretty good, but Snuff felt like a slice of a bigger work that, I suppose, Palahniuk was too lazy to write, and Pygmy was just dull.
Nothing has been as cluttered with literary falderal or as effortful to drag my way through than Tell-All though.
Man, was that not enjoyable...
Anyway, the new King comes out next week.
The one about traveling back in time to stop the Kennedy assassination.
Yeah.
That wasn't a joke.
So I guess I'm going to have to read that...
I also have the latest Dresden book on stand by.
I want to read it, lord oh lord do I...but I know I'm going to burn through it in three days, so I'm saving it for...something...
Might dip back into the Hunger Games series as the first one was pretty great.
 
And then there's Batman: Arkham City.
Mother fuck what a huge, amazing, mindblowing game.
I've completely the main story and I'm only 60% through the whole thing.
Yeah.
Tasty.
 
This weekend is our Halloween party, although I fear it is going to pale in comparison to years when Phil, Grace, Jeannie, Rich, Kathy and/or Molly were in attendance.
But, no worries, we have a contingency in case things get too slow.
Poison.
 
See you Saturday!!!!!!
No trains to Queens!!!!!!
 

7:29 pm

I've just had my very first Take 5 bar.

Quite enjoyable.

 

A Question For Tim Burton

10.20.11

10:42 pm

This first part is kind of just for Tim Burton, so if you aren't Tim Burton (the director Tim Burton, not the milkman from Kelsey Park, Kansas), you can skip to the next section.

If you want.
No one is forcing you to read this.

Tim, last night I watched your film, Batman Returns.

I enjoyed it very much, and, aside from the presence of Prince, it is better in every way than your first Batman movie, Batman.
I have a question for you: why on earth did you not make a third, fourth and fifth Batman movie?
You had already set up Billy Dee Williams as Harvey Dent (the reason Lando took the role in the first place, I might add) and you're awesome, so...que the fuck?
Get back to me, man.

So...to everyone who is not Tim Burton...Batman: Arkham City is definitely a game.

One that you play with a controller.
Batman is in it.

I suppose there's more I could say; about the Batman game, about life in general, but, well, what would be the point?

I mean, you shouldn't be living vicariously!
Life is for the living!
Death for the dead!
If you're alive, live!!!!

Also, I just read the King eBook Mile 81.

Pretty awesome.
For once, there are kids in it without super mind powers.
Three of them, all just kids.

Plus, a reference to Christine, which is delicious.

Yes, it might be a bit self-indulgent (eh, Phil?) and yes, this story is pretty much about a car that eats people, but, god damn it, the guy does it well.
So he's allowed.
Although, I will say I'm astounded at the volume of work he's putting out for a guy who's retired twice.
I hope my retirement is less busy than his.

Anyway.

Fish.

BAT-MANIA

10.18.11

7:57 pm

Sunday night (I DO NOT know why) I decided to watch Batman Forever, something I haven't watched in years.

It's still terrible.
But.
Last night I decided to watch Burton's Batman.
And here is why Burton's Batman will always be better than Nolan's: Prince.
Not just the fact that Prince did the soundtrack and made some pretty amazing videos to go along with it, but because Burton posits that not only Bruce Wayne but also the Joker are Prince fans.
Prince, bringing together Batman and the Joker.

Oh, and, yes, I did get my copy of Batman: Arkham City today.

I'm twenty eight chapters into editing The Grind Show, and, unless my PS3 is moved from the apartment by the time I get home, it will probably remain so until I can regain at least a modicum of self-restraint and get back to it.

Sorry, Phil.

I am just a man.
Not a Batman.
Until I pop in Arkham City, at which point I shall become a Batman.
THE Batman.

I'm also about two thirds of the way though copy-editing Phil's next release.

Anyway.

Really just wanted to share that little nugget regarding Burton's Batman Vs. Nolan's Batman.

Carry on.

Put Some Wiggle In Your Jiggle. God Damn You.

10.11.11

3:28 pm

I may have forgotten to mention, but I have, officially, finished recording Philip Tucker's The Grind Show.

Last night I edited chapter twenty four of forty one and I plan to edit two every night until I'm through.

Then, once Phil wraps his ears around my mouth gold, he'll get back to me with changes and notes and such, meaning that this huge, amazing hell journey will be over before the end of the year.

Probably way before, but, I'd not like to count my chickens that have yet to hatch.

Because that is dumb.

Speaking of the one called Philip Tucker, a few years ago, when he was a resident of my hallway, him, Ray and I got together to come up with a scary idea for a short film.

It was to be called "CoffinCam" and it was delightfully, twistedly dark and good.

But nothing happened.

Mainly because Ray couldn't find us a graveyard full of subterranean horrors nor an elaborate, hand dug tunnel system in which to film.

But, not all was lost!

About five days ago, Phil sat down and began writing a novella, the fruits of the seeds planted by the three of us all those years ago.

It has been edited by me and is now up on Amazon.com as an eBook.

So buy it.

It's riveting, sick and both original and a tasty homage to H.P. Lovecraft.

And I edited it.

Me.

So, you know all the dots and dots with tails are in the right places.

As I have finished recording, a nightly (more or less) ritual since May of this year, I have rewarded myself by staying up dangerously late and working my way further through Dead Island.

This game...is big, pretty and dragging.

I don't think I'll be finished by Tuesday, when the new Batman game comes out.

The new Batman game, Arkham City...is going to take me away from things for a while.

Yes.

Yes, it will.

But.

But...and this, more than anything I've done over the past sixteen years of our friendship, should prove how much love and respect I have for this swarthy bag of accents and his scribblings...I am planning to try to not even open this amazing new time sink of a Batman game...until I finish editing the rest of The Grind Show.

Once more: planning...to try.

Not planning.

Not trying.

Not even near promising.

Planning...to try.

I'm also going to start copy editing his next novel, the reworked and ready-to-rock Throne, because professional copy editors are nothing more than failed writers with a lot of free time and a very solid grasp on the English language that prey on writers who happen to be too close to their own work to realize that they overuse the word "about".

No offense to any copy editors that I know socially.

You are all magical, lovely, buxom people.

Your freelance cousins are bastards though.

I'm going to be doing this at work, which is perfect for both Phil and I, as he gets free (if not 100% industry standard) copy editing and I get something to do that isn't Sudoku or judging/poisoning the trogs that surround me.

Which keeps me from snapping and bringing this place down some day.

Which is better for everyone, believe me.

I had a dream a few nights ago that I owned a trained chimpanzee.

It was fucking awesome.

And, finally, the third annual Long Ass Hallway-O-Ween Party is in the works.

Be there or don't bother buying flowers, asshole.

If you get my meaning.

...

You don't?

Well...never mind.

Just...just try to show up, okay?

There are going to be Junior Mints.

They're better than York Peppermint Patties.

Their ratio of chocolate to mint is better and their size makes them more portabable and the amount you consume more customizabable.

Hands down.

And that is what people really want from their Halloween candy.

Customization options.