They're not just a band...they're a social club.

6.23.09

5:21 pm

The Street Sweeper Social Club album came out last week.  They opened for NIN and were excellent so I decided to check it out. 

Wow.  SO flat on wax.  Not even worth mentioning.

See them live or don't bother yourself with them at all.

Chris is away with massive Dad issues.

Things are very confusing at the moment.

Lots of trepidation.

Pulp Fiction...but not at all.

6.19.09

7:28 pm

Today I recorded this thing in which I played Eric Stoltz from Pulp Fiction.

It's way to hard to describe so...sorry.

Before that I had an audition.

It was a radio ad for GNC.

I couldn't stop thinking of Bearblasting and Humpcatting.

I have been up a LONG time today.

But I took two cabs while listening to my "mellow" playlist.

It was...mellow.

I also listened to the new Regina Spektor and I only really dig a song or two (Dance Anthem of the 80's and Human of the Year) .

She's lost a lot of that underground appeal from the first album.

Very slick and commercial this time around, more so than Built to Hope.

I'd now describe her music as a less trippy Tori Amos meets a more balanced Fiona Apple with some bucktoothed teddy bear thrown in for the Awkward Yet Cuddly factor.

Wow.

That was fucking apt.

At the recording this morning I was informed that the Tecate Light commercial is on the radio in the Southwest.

As is my Burger King commercial.

Now if only I ever listened to the radio.

In the Southwestern United States.

Wednesday I bought some Rasinets.

They were excellent.

Today I bought some David's Sunflower Seeds.

So I can spit them everywhere.

Whee.

I also bought some more Rasinets and Goldfish for Danielle and Lauren who have earned them and then some.

You SAY he's just a friend...

6.16.09

9:57 pm

But I digress.

I was a Cinematic Sailor this weekend! 

Yes I was! 

I saw Drag Me To Hell on Saturday with Sunny D which makes me more angry and more sad about Sam Raimi's continued involvement with  those horrible, horrible Spiderman movies.  He's wasting his talent.  Afterwards D and I hung out for like 8 hours!!

The words "barely" and "tolerable" swim to mind...
I kid.
Badly.
She taught me about Punk.
I like SoCal Punk.
Also, I think I missed the magic of Army of Darkness.
Total bummer.

Sunday was Lauren and I celebrating our tradition of seeing Night At The Museum and its sequels together.  So we went to some outdoor mall in Queens and saw it.  There was a moment when Tom Lennon and Ben Garant (The State, Reno 911!, Viva Variety etc) showed up cameo style.  I was puzzled.  Turns out, those fuckers wrote BOTH N@TM movies.  Cha-ching!  Honestly, not bad movies.  I have to say the Onion (whose opinion I usually accept without much question) gave it a bum deal.  They said the plot was convoluted.  I say they weren't paying very close attention if they were seriously led astray during this movie.  The children in the audience were with it the whole time; stop texting your friends about how big Ben Stiller's ears are the movie is while you're in the theater and maybe you won't get confused, dumbass. After that, she and I enjoyed some Japanese food prepared and named after a man called simply...Shiro.

Shiro...you are an honorable and tasty man.

Then we had dessert at this nearby fondue place.

For $10, I ate more than my heads' weight in dark and milk chocolate and got a tummy ache.

A $10 tummy ache.

It was worth it.

It was good to catch up with Lawn since I hadn't really seen her for a bit.

Then I went home to find Christina sleeping.

So I let her sleep.

Today I set out to purchase the Ghostbusters video game only to find it sold out at both Best Buy AND GameStop.

Good for the game's sales, bad for me.

I will try to hunt one down tomorrow.

Not sure what is happening this weekend.

Both Lauren AND Danielle have expressed interest in seeing The Hangover, but Lawn might be busy and Danielle might just have had her fill of Paul for the month of June.

I fully understand.

I may still have people over to watch the Ghostbusters movies, or I might just say y'all can take a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut and watch them by myself, naked, with a jar of peanut butter and a dream.

Either way: I WIN.

Finally, I am maybe 7% still sick and I can fully function now. Good thing, because that VO is recording Friday morning.

Love the timing, folks.

Love it.

Oh, and also: Will's bachelor party is happening in my apartment some time in July.

Or August.

Or sometime before the wedding.

Whether he is here or not.

We're going to watch the Big Lebowski for five hours and...do things that never happened.

Of which there are not photos.

None.

An review of Hombre Lobo

6.12.09

9:12 pm

 

I've had this album for a few weeks (I downloaded a copy maybe four days before it came out...way to copyright protect, E...I think four days is a new record) and, although I haven't dedicated hours and hours of time to it, I think I'm formulating opinions.

 

First off, I had higher expectations because this was the last album to be released in this Summer of Music and it's eels, so I had a lot riding on it, but then again, I also had lower expectations because anything coming off of a four year wait and the most recent album (33 tracks, 2 disc, epic etc.) was going to be a bit of a let down.

 

Short answer: it's a good eels album, but only a few of the tracks are really notable; the rest are just "okay eels songs".

The problem is, with a 12 song, 40 minute album, if four of your songs aren't great, that's a third of the album.

Luckily, only three songs really don't jive with me.  Of the other nine, three are excellent and the rest are merely good.

All in all, not a bad record, but...four years for twelve songs....arg.

Maybe a bit too lean.

Plus the fact that there's not a whole lot of production here makes everything feel even more sparse.

Some songs do have some cool elements here or there, but overall, this just sounds a bit...demo-y.

One or two more layers to most of these songs could have done them some good.

 

Long answer: Here's a track by track break down.

 

Prizefighter

This is one of the songs I don't really like.

Not for the content, more for the form.

It's bad "simple eels" as opposed to good "simple eels".

I mean, the whole album is pretty simple, but this one just doesn't have the notes in the right order for me.

The message is great though, "let me be there for you, I'll listen and help out", good feeling for an opener, but don't dig the sound.

 

That Look You Give That Guy

Perfect example of good "simple eels".

Not only that, but E is so wonderfully shy and vulnerable that you can't not "awww" at this song.

You want to see the girl in this song give him a chance.

 

Lilac Breeze

Ah...the rock, how E does love it.

A sweet love song with some nice straight up bass riffs and rock drums.

The twist at the end of each chorus adds some nice nuance to what could have been a simple song.

I also enjoy the backing harmonies.

That's what I'm talking about, it's spare, but not boring.

The lyrics are a bit simple, as are quite a few on the album, but the meaning comes through better without too many words...sometimes.

 

In My Dreams

One of my favorites.

Great "simple eels" song.

Sweet and sad, the very definition of a good eels track and the band itself.

 

Tremendous Dynamite

Man oh man was I excited when I saw this song title.

STOP JUDGING BOOKS BY THEIR COVERS.

The tempo really rubs me the wrong way.

And the repetition as well.

Some good lyrics here and there ("being the bomb is her birthright") but not enough to salvage the song.

Something kind of interesting starts to happen with the beat towards the end, but, again, not interesting enough.

Oh well, not every eels song can be perfect.

I enjoy the swagger behind the song, but not the song itself.

 

The Longing

Here we go.

Sad, beautiful and creepy, but in a totally relatable, understandable way.

I pity the person who hasn't felt this way about someone at some point in their lives.

It's a dark, yearning song that speaks of a pain that, if you haven't felt at one point or another, you've not truly lived or loved.

"...when I say I would die for her/it's not just words/I really would/and to make the world a safer place for her/well I believe I really could"

E might be one of the only artist's out there than can make that sound sincere.

"Her tears/her sorrow/her faults/her doubts/I love them all"

A perfect eels track.

 

Fresh Blood

Remember in the mid 90's, before you knew about mp3's and you would hear one track off a CD (the Radio Song) and then you'd go and buy that CD, only to find out that the Radio Song sounds NOTHING like the rest of the album or even the band itself?

Yeah, eels does that too.

Drum machines, dark synths, spooky echoes...this song is everything every other track on the album is not.

I was going to buy this album anyway, but to hear this as the first new eels song off the new album in four years?  I'll admit, my hopes were misled up the ladder of expectation...by this song and this song alone.

Don't get me wrong, it really is great, just misleading.

I wonder if E ever planned to treat every song on the album to the "Fresh Blood" production...what an album THAT would have been...

 

What's A Fella Gotta Do

More rock.

Great little high energy track to bring you out of the mournful chill of "The Longing" and the creepy, red depths of "Fresh Blood".

Not a lot to the track, more flash than substance, but E does it well.

"You're so fine/If you were mine I'd love you up"

I would LOVE to be loved up; by E, by you, by anyone.

It sounds fun.

This should be a good one live.

 

My Timing Is Off

Ack.

I really do not like this song.

Something so b-side and throw off about it.

It's just bland is all, no interesting music or style or lyrics.

Instant skip.

 

All The Beautiful Things

This song is just a few steps above the blandness that spoiled "My Timing Is Off".

It's just too sweet and heartfelt to ignore.

Not the sweetest or most heartfelt eels song, but it counts for something.

Also the strings help.

It is my opinion that most songs can be made better with strings.

Especially eels' songs.

 

Beginner's Luck

A happy bouncer of a song with a jaunty gait and a fun li'l bass line.

Nothing so amazing about it, but it's a solid track.

Yeah.

 

Ordinary Man

A truly fitting eels album closer.

Honestly, it reminds me of Xanthus' "Go It Alone Song" from People Are Wrong.

I'm sure that helps everyone.

A sad, hopeful recitation made by a guy who's tried eleven different approaches.

Here he's just listing the facts and waiting for an answer.

No characters, no bluster, just "here I am, here's why we should be together, give me a chance and you'll see for yourself".

Maybe it'll work, maybe it won't.

You want it to, but nice guys don't often finish first.

 

I can't really tell if this is an album for people who are in safe, stable, happy relationships or for those who aren't.

On one hand, those in relationships might appreciate the fiction but they might not latch onto the sincerity.

On the other hand, those not in relationships, who might relate too closely to our narrator might get lost in the intricacies of it all.

There are some powerful emotions expressed here and, if you're in the wrong state of mind, that could result in disaster.

Again, this is a good eels album, a bit lean after the feast of Blinking Lights, but not so lacking in substance as to not count as a meal.

I am, however, already getting my hopes up for the other new eels album, the second of two E wrote during his four year absence, so I guess that doesn't say too much for this one.

It's simple and beautiful at times, but a bit too simple at others.

One or two more layers would have made this a better album.

Oh Weekend...(part 2)

6.08.09

First things first: the state I'm in right now, I should NOT be on the streets.

I almost killed three people today, merely for walking slower than me.

This does not bode well for humankind...

Now, the Second of the Two Most Busy Weekends of My Summer.

Friday went better as far as waking up and spending all goddamn day at work, apparently I had gotten more sleep.

BUT

I was starting to feel low energy and sicky poo.

"Excellent timing, God," I said to God, "excellent timing you celestial cockhole".

So after work, I went home and then traversed my way with Li'l Miss Birthday to Khyber Pass.

Fun fun!

Good food, got to meet Natalia's finance, Tim, who is excellent, saw Amy Pugh who I haven't seen for about 6 years, got to welcome Jeannie (the Jean Genie to those in the know) back and again, the food was stellar, pumpkin turnovers with yoghurt sauce, meat with meat dumplings and yogurt sauce and remarkable baklava.

And more yogurt sauce.

Afterwards some of the diners walked through the drizzly night to Mahenata's (or however those Godless Heathens pronounce/spell their Temple of False Moustaches) where we met up with a few more birthday soldiers as the night pashed on.

Sadly, I did not have as much fun since my head was beginning to feel like the guy head from MTV's The Head...you know? and the brilliant electric oboe player had his death machine set on the Kill Paul's Fucking Head setting.

He and his jubbly butt buddy played for a solid hour and a half or two hours.

Jess and Danielle arrived with their respective entourages (Libby, Gautham, Robert, others),  in tow, my headache got worse, Danielle shared some wonderful news, Jess projected some of her insecurities onto me and I went home.

I'll skip the constant interjections involving the status of my health and just tell you that the whole of the weekend could have been more fun it I were not sick.

Duh.

Saturday and Sunday both felt the same as far as waking dozens of times during the night, then rising around one or two, feeling unrested and put upon.

"Fucking Nine Inch Nails" Christina and I muttered back and forth to one another "...not having a fucking show in New York City...fucking Trent fucking Reznor...have to take the fucking train to the fucking bus...fucking fuck..."

Etc.

For both shows, we arrived at our seats just as the opener, Street Sweeper Social Club (Boots Reilly and Tom Morello from RATM's side project...think RATM without Zach Dela Roche making you feel like an asshole who slaughtered his people of the Sun, who were, despite what Dela Roche would have you believe, not all that cool) came on.

They put on a great show including an excellent cover of M.I.A.'s "Paper Planes".

We had just enough time beforehand to pay $6 for water, $7 for a hot dog, $4 for a cup of coffee and $40 for a t-shirt that Christina felt the urge to complain about the quality of loudly in front of the merch people.

I don't really care about their feelings per se, I'm sure they're lovely people, but it just makes me feel more like an American Asshole spending $40 on a shirt.

But then again, women like to shop!

They shop like crazy!

And they're bad with money and cars!!

There...how about that?

Sucks don't it.

Where the fuck was I?

Oh yes, since this production was nothing compared to the other four or so tours I've seen them on (no screens or moving lights, maybe a handful of LED strips etc.), there was a fifteen minute change over between SSSC and NIN.

I'll spare you the details since none of you give a shit and just say that I enjoy the bells and whistles of NIN a lot (especially when the bells and whistles include gigantic fucking mobile LED screens and interactive set pieces) and I think that both shows were lacking a certain...flair.

BUT

that was almost fully compensated for by the ridiculously varied set lists.

Between the two nights, we got over half of The Downward Spiral, three quarters of Broken, a Gary Neuman cover, a David Bowie cover (no Bowie though, I am crushed to say) and some other really great shit.

Seats for the first show were alright, a bit right of the stage and maybe fifty feet away, but the second night was worth the exorbitant ticket price: a hair off center and maybe 25 feet from the stage.

There were one or two songs I had heard they were playing that I would have freaked if I'd seen them, but all in all, not a bad send off for Nine Inch Nails.

Highlights included "Metal", "I Do Not Want This", "Mr. Self Destruct", "1,000,000", "Burn", "The Way Out Is Through" and "The Downward Spiral".

Boy howdy and damn betcha.

We skipped Jane's Addiction the first night and watched two or three songs the second night.

Meh.

Heroin is SO passé.

Then we went home and ate some delicious homemade chicken chili.

Thus ends My Busy Weekends for the Summer.

From this point on, you come to me or you go and fuck yourself.

Look at my gorgeous choppers!!

6.3.09

3:22 pm

Show of hands: who would not LOVE getting a blowjob from a succubus?
Be honest, at least with yourself if not with me.

Went to my new dentist today.

Neal Auerbach (that means "gold Bach" in German).

Doesn't he just sound like a dentist?

He looks like one too, got a smock and everything.

X-rays and exam confirmed what I always tell strangers on the subway: my teeth are in great shape, all knobbed and white.

I am set for a cleaning next Thursday at noon in case, you know, anyone want's to hang out with me at my dentist appointment.

Sigh.

No one ever does, but I'll keep on asking.

Hope floats.

And some poop.

5:16 pm

Sitting here, sort of drifting...

Over the radio I hear one of the security guards saying "...fanny..." again and again, just catching it through waves of static.

I know that he is requesting that Fanny, the lady from Housekeeping, respond to him over the radio, but to a random bystander, it would sound funny and to a random British bystander, it would sound even more funny.

"...ksssssh....minge...sssshhhhhhttz.....minge......"

I'm about to go on lunch, but since I had lunch after the dentist (some innate,  self destructive urge to sully the teeth that have just been deemed perfect...) I have nothing to do for the next hour and a half.

I wish I had a helicopter.

I think it may be raining as well.

Starbucks does little to sustain me, but I may trot over there anyway.

Just for some basic, human interaction.

When I say thank you to the dead eyed ape behind the counter, they will FEEL my sincerity.

Or they will feel my fury.

Oh Weekend...(part 1)

6.2.09

7:14 pm

And thus it came to pass...the Busiest Weekend of My Summer.

Actually, the First of the Two Most Busy Weekends of My Summer.

By the end of work I was knackered.

Literally.

But I ate some Thai food and became a ninja, making it to Terminal 5 one minute after doors opened.

I entered with a throng of cynical, smarmy people and ended up dead center maybe fifteen feet back.

Then I stood and waited from 8:30 to 9:45 while goddamn nothing fucking happened.

No opener doesn't actually mean you get to see the band you want to see earlier, it just means and extra forty minutes standing in a darkened room.

Or so opines Terminal 5.

The fucks.

By 9:15, my back was aching and I was getting ready to just bite some of the people crammed into the place around me, but then, finally, Cake.

They opened with "Sad Songs and Waltzes" which is a down tempo, slow waltz and it seemed an odd choice, but then everything afterwards was jeweled gold.

They broke their 21 song set into two parts and that was a mistake because leaving you're slavishly dedicated audience (not only was the place sold out but EVERYONE was singing along with EVERYTHING) in the dark for twenty goddamn minutes tends to unexcite them; and then they came back on with "Daria", not a bad song, but it did nothing to get the energy back up. After that slower song that had another and another but eventually they kicked things back into gear.

Highlights included: "Guitar", "Love You Madly" (one of my favorite Cake songs), "Wheels" (ditto), "Italian Leather Sofa" (probably my favorite Cake song) and "The Distance" (not a favorite, but the band and the rest of the crowd seemed to think it was and they did give it their all so...).

Five of the songs ended in massively extended audience sing alongs conducted and orchestrated by John McCrea who cajoled, begged and commanded the audience to sing along.

They played two new songs (one sounding very "good Cake song" and the other very "Cake music for a popular movie soundtrack") and then said they were never releasing the album the songs were on because "people only want goddamn fucking ringtones".

Although McCrea was dour at times, talking about the apocalypse and the failing economy and "goddamn fucking ringtones", we wasn't as abusive towards the audience as he was eleven years ago.

Toward the end of the show they did their tree giveaway thing and that was...Cake-like.

They finished with "Jolene".

Oh boy did they.

During the sing along section, while the audience was getting into it, they turned off all the lights but some dark orange ones and two silver body painted girls wearing silver bikinis can out and proceeded to do a synchronized routine with hula hoops full of lights.

It was hypnotizing to the sober and world ending to the stoned.

Very interesting choice.

And their guitarist (named Xan) was a fucking animal.

He made love to that guitar and let us all watch.

I'd love to see him and Dan Miller in a Shred Off.

Aaaaaaaand speaking of Dan Miller...

Saturday was TMBG, but, before the show was dinner.  Mark (Brubaker, Ange's hubby), Lisa and I went to Bamboleo, the same Mexican place Chris and Lawn and I went to for an earlier TMBG show at Le Poisson Rouge (it's practically next door).

It was...slightly awkward to be frank. Probably won't set that up again.

As we walked out, doors had just been opened and we went right in and took our place ten feet from the Linnell side.

Then we were subjected to Mixel Pixel.

Waaay to hippy/psychedelic for TMBG fans.

Eventually, they cawed their last and after a brief wait, TMBG took the stage.

It's hard to really be surprised at a TMBG show after you've seen them 50+ times, but they still managed to pull out some revamped chestnuts like "Subliminal","Thunderbird", "Nothing's Gonna Change My Clothes" and "I Am Not Your Broom", performed by Flans, behind a broom, talking as the broom for a good five minutes.

It really isn't about surprise, more just entertainment.  I know I'm going to have good fun at a TMBG show and it has yet to happen.

They also threw in "Birdhouse", "Don't Let's Start", "New York City", "The Guitar" and a few other songs of which I'll never get tired.

Didn't get "Drink!", thank God.

So sick of that fucking song...but they still slipped in "Damn Good Times".  Not a horrible song, but if you don't get a show with "Drink!", you get a show with "Damn Good Times".

Oh well, I only have myself to blame.  Maybe I shouldn't have seen them 20 times in three months that one time...

Then Lisa and I shared a cab with the first woman driver I'd ever had...and hopefully the last one.

She made such a fucking stink about making two stops, but when we said, "okay, if you don't want to take us to our destinations, let us out" she said, "and then I'll have to pay the meter" (which was at $2.50 plus $.50 for the thirty seconds we'd been in the cab).

This went on for about five blocks until I said, "Yes or no, are you going to take us to our destinations, yes or no?"

Eventually she grudgingly agreed to take our dirty, filthy money in exchange for, you know, a service that we were purchasing with our dirty, filthy money and we were off.

What a cunt.

You're a cab driver, shut the fuck up and eat the corn.

Then, silly billy goat, I played Infamous until sixish, then went to bed only to wake up again...

...for Colin's BBQ/house warming.

I awoke at 1:30, showered and left.

Then I ate a hundred hot dogs, hamburgers, corn on the cobs, grilled corn muffins (a stroke of nostalgic genius conceptualized by me and carried out by Lawn) and just everything.

Good times.

Met Colin's new roommates and the people that live above them.

One of them is a stone fox.

A fox templar to reuse a term coined, copyrighted and owned in perpetuity by me.

ME, MOTHERFUCKER, ME!

Then Lawn drove me and the Gold Berg back to my place for the fireworks commemorating the 45th anniversary of the Queensboro Bridge.

Yay?

It was wonderful on the roof, the fireworks were shiny and the gay folks on the top floor were stoned and flouncy.

All I could ever ask for.

Yesterday I played three hours of Scorched Earth.

Today I purchased the new EELS (because if I don't, who will?).

Tomorrow I have a dentist appointment (all covered by my not-really-for-White-Folks-but-we-can't-come-right-out-and-say-that insurance).

Thursday I will record something with the Tecate Light guys producers who liked my voice so much they want to use it on their own thing (THAT is how I know I'm doing well).

Friday I'm killing myself with another 11 am - 4:30 pm for to so I can to be present at my Nouf's birthday.

Saturday I'm going to New Jersey to see Nine Inch Nails.

Sunday I'm going to Long Island to see Nine Inch Nails.

I just read an interview in Mojo in which Reznor says this could be the last tour for A DECADE.

Jesus.

Hopefully he'll get bored and change his mind.

He did say there's a new album coming that will be less of an experiment in this or that and just have a lot of well-written songs.

Hey, after five years for "The Fragile" and six years for "With Teeth", as long as he has this one in before 2014, I'll be happy.

All right.

That's all.

Go away.

Movie's over.