Harry Brown...from Munich.

10.27.10

3:22 pm

Who can guess...which two movies...I have watched recently...?

Yes, you in the soccer jersey!!!

Wrong.

Wrong.

So, two nights ago, I watched Harry Brown.

At first I thought it was The Punisher but British and with Michael Cain as Frank Castle, then I thought it was Last House On The Left but British and with Michael Cain as the parents of the girl that was raped and killed, but then I just decided it was your typical revenge flick but British and with Michael Cain.

It was a really great revenge flick though.

It went by the book, but it was a very well written book, na'mean?

There are quite a few great moments in it.

One element that did set it aside from your typical action revenge movie like, I don't know, Payback or something in that vein, is that Michael Cain, although he was a Marine (retired, yeah?), he was in his 70's and had emphysema, so it wasn't like him coldly picking off his six targets without any trouble, it was him just barely being able to take on these punks with his training because he was hindered by his health.

There wasn't this aura of invulnerability you get from most movies like this.

In the end, it was just great to see Alfred get some screen time.

And I think of of the lead cops in it was the speaking voice of 2D.

Whatever the case: brutal, well-made revenge flick starring Alfred Pennyworth.

Check it out.

P.S. The porn version of this movie?

Hairy Brown.

Last night, I watched Munich, all two hours and forty four minutes of it.

In one sitting!

All of it!!

By myself!!!!

I know!!!!!!!!!

First off, Steven Spielberg...let it go.

The Holocaust was like a hundred years ago (if it actually happened at all, that is).

Hitler is dead (if he ever existed at all, that is).

Get over it (over what? Am I right, guys?!).

Next, excellent movie.

Why was it so excellent?

Not because it was about the Jews getting some back, not because it was well-shot and the story well-told, not because there was a toy maker turned bomb maker, no.

It was awesome because, not only was James Bond in it....not only was the villain from the most recent Bond movie in it...BUT BECAUSE JAMES BOND, THE VILLAIN FROM THE MOST RECENT BOND MOVIE AND DRAX (Michael Lansdale), THE VILLAIN FROM FUCKING ''MOONRAKER' WAS IN IT!!!! AND DRAX WAS THE FATHER OF THE VILLAIN FROM THE MOST RECENT BOND MOVIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Also, James Bond was fighting alongside Julius Caesar.

The whole thing was like a fan fiction wet dream.

And, speaking of wet dreams, it might have won this year's award for Most Unsexy Sex Scene.

Also downloaded the Undead Nightmare expansion pack for Red Dead Redemption last night.

Remember RDR?

I talked about it months ago.

GTA Horse?

Yeah?

So, over the past few months, they've released a handful of DLC packs, mostly multiplayer stuff (I've never checked out the multiplayer and feel okay about that), costume stuff, extra weapons etc., but, about a month ago, I heard rumors about the designers adding zombies to the game.

Turns out they did more than that.

In this expansion pack, there's a brand new single player campaign involving a strange disease that sweeps the land, turning people AND animals into to undead monsters.

I am so fucking excited for this.

In a few days, I'll have some time and play my first Zombie Western.
Peep this.

I'm looking forward to: the main character's first encounter with the living dead and to dragging a zombie across the plains until it falls apart.

I'm in support of "zombifying" games, if it works.

Imagine a GTA game where a city the size of Manhattan is populated with the undead?

Fingers crossed.

Still quite a bit of work to do before the party, but, as always, it's going to sparkle when it's finished.

Like vampire porn actors.

All right.

I'm gonna go fondle my sweaters.

Jerk Off

10.20.10

6:50 pm

Had my chain yanked like a motherfather on Friday.

Nicely, but yanked nonetheless.

Fuckers.

Anyway.

Watched Backdraft this weekend.

Meh.

Fire bad.

In the end though, all the fires were put out, so we're okay for now.

Not sure which came first, Silence of the Lambs or Backdraft, but, if Silence came first, then Ron Howard took Donald Sutherland's character from Anthony Hopkins like a mofo.

He did a great job, but I could totally see Ron being like, 'hey, Donald, have you seen Silence of the Lambs? Okay, you're like him but giddier and with less eating people.'

Finished the fourth season of Mad Men with Christina, who is now caught up in the gritty, 60's web just as I am and who thinks it's adorable that I have a thing for Catherine Hendricks.

I'd recommend her and I never meet though, as my "thing" might become less adorable and more...throbbing and uncircumcised?

Ne c'est pas?.

Just being honest...

Listened to The Cardigan's 1997 album Gran Turismo.

The first listen was really impressive, especially since I'd only heard 'Lovefool' before, but, after three or four playthroughs, it gets less impressive and her voice becomes more grating (unlike mine in George Washington Diarrhea's cover of Shakira's "Se Quiere, Se Mata", which you can listen to here).

Some excellent production on that one though.

It really is Garbage, but Swiss instead of Scottish.

Also listened to Die Antwoord's debut album today.

First reaction was: What?

Then: What the fuck?

Thing is, it's fun as hell.

Kind of disturbing at times; for instance, the 8 minute song, 'Beat Boy', which, if I'm interpreting the heavily accented broken English correctly, is about a really hot chick that gets a penis attached (not a sex change, just a penis attachment) then rapes the surgeon with her new penis and then gets sexually assaulted in a graveyard (posthumously, of course) by the lead male singer, Ninja.

It was funny up 'til that point.

The line "now you've got two great boobs and a penis" is repeated several times, you know, in case that slipped by the listener.

The last track is just straight up hilarious and, I will never be sure, might be completely in...South African?

Is that what the language is called?

The track is called "'Doss Dronk' and is a slurred reenactment (?) of a night of drunkenness.

It has a crazy, gypsy stomp tune to it that is so piratical you'll want to be wearing a patch while listening to it.

And, whatever it's called, there are a few tracks sung in both "English" and whatever language people from South Africa speak.

Dutch? German? Derman? Gutch

It's nuts, whatever it is and sounds great.

There's also a song by the high-pitched female of the group, Yolandi Vi$$er.

And, yes, I think the dollar signs are, legally, part of her name.

The song is called 'Rich Bitch' and it centers mostly around how Yolandi is, well, a female with money.

She brags about how, now that she's rich, she decides, on a case by case basis, whether or not she wants to answer her phone and also how she now shops at Woolworth's.

Okay, I've never been to South Africa, so I have no fucking idea if these things are real or if she is just playing some REALLY high level mind games with the audience, but...god damn I have no idea what to make of these people.

I look forward to talking with Linza, the only South African person I know, to get her opinion and find out, hopefully, what in the FUCK these psychos are about.

Oh, I almost forgot their DJ, DJ Hard Dick.

THAT would have been embarrassing.

I'd like to be clear that, for the most part, although I have no idea what's going on in these songs, I do enjoy it, it's compelling and energetic music and I found myself hanging on to every word to try and make some sense of it.

I don't do that with the typical American rapper (usually because I don't care about how many bitches they can fit into cars and vice versa).

I've also started listening to Prick's first album, which I missed when it first came around.

Very enjoyable.

They were one of the handful of bands Reznor signed to his Nothing Records label back in the mid-90's and they have some similarities.

Prick is some of the heavy of NIN without the Mope.

Anyway again.

Had a blast recording at Google yesterday. Those folks make work look like fun and fun look like sine waves.

You'd get that if you worked for Google.

Every second I was there felt like a Jonathan Coulter song.

I also made sure, under the "corporation" field, to enter "The Fatty Patrol, Inc.", so now Google has our institution in its records.

Now it's only a matter of time before we get bought out by Google and they'll find a free, more efficient way to harpoon and melt the fat people of the world.

Viva la future.

Is that all?

Had a solid audition today but who cares a farting fuck about solidity?

I'll ask Boost Mobile what Beyonce asked some slacker muse of hers years ago: Can you pay my billz? Can you pay my telephone billz? Can you pay my au-to-mo-billz?

Well, Boost Mobile, can you?

You know, it just struck me that, after she demanded to know if you could pay her billz, she demanded that all independent women threw their hands up and paid for the watches on their arms and the rings on their fingers.

So...I guess she just wants to know that the guy can pay for these things but still be allowed to pay for it herself?

But what about than demanding that men, if they like it, put a ring on it?

Beyonce.

Hey.

Shut the fuck up.

Sit down, make up your fucking fickle ass R&B mind, then write one song ONE SONG where you make a definite and permanent stance on the financial relationship between men and women.

Or just stop.

Okay?

For me?

Thanks, B.

I owe you one.

Ah, and I just found out that Darren Aronofsky is set to direct the next Wolverine movie.

Wow.

That should be...intense.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

10.11.10

4:00 pm

Here is a list of the things I have been making my Microsoft Excel Spreadsheet say today:

Monkey monkey monkey..........poop.

Scrotum penis anus meat

Come on guys stop it seriously stop it ow ow ow come on you guys!

I'm not shouting! All right I am! I'm shouting! I'm shouting! I'm shou-!

Rumba ting

Silly fuck stupid face

Butthole surfers

Everybody wang chung tonight. Everybody have fun tonight

If you want my body...and you think I'm sexy...come on baby let me know.

Viggy Viggy Viggy! You have been a bad monkey!

Poopy poop poop poo.

Zombies! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH! Run for your life or they will eat you bbbbbrrrrrrraaaaaiiiiinnnnnnnnssssssss!

(the "ah" and the "brains" comes spilling out like some ridiculous robot vocal warm up, it's brilliant)

Deedle deedle dee! Tingle jingle doo! Love me softly! Love my poo!

5:02 pm

Just spent some time typing some Mighty Boosh crimps for Chris because she's home sick.

I'm so good.

Okay.

Back to the grind.

Grind? Grind stone?

Millstone?

Whatever.

I was only kidding.

I'm just going to make the computer man speak more funny, then get lunch, then more funny talk.

Hee hee.

I stipud.

Stupid in the streets...can't socialize...

10.6.10

3:36 pm

What a rush.

My day.

Has been.

I set my alarm for 11:40 in order to catch the 12:20 showing of The Social Network at the Kip's Bay AMC.

Made it just as the first preview was starting. People, if you've ever gone to see a movie on a schedule (i.e. need to be somewhere right after it ends) add twenty minutes.

Literally.

There were twenty minutes of previews.

Again: literally.

Then, the movie started.

Here goes:

Overall, it didn't live up to expectations, but how could it when the expectation was that it was going to give me a blowjob and a hundred dollars?

Citizen Kane?

The Godfather?

No.

I don't know if it'll even get nominated for an Oscar, not that that really matters.

But a great movie?

Yes.

The acting was excellent; Jesse Isenberg is officially no longer the poor man's Michael Cera and Justin Timberlake did a rock solid job as usual.

Also, the script was so Sorkin that my pants burst.

There's so much snappy dialogue it's as if the movie is set in a parallel universe constructed solely of one-liners and depositions. Then again, most of these characters did go to Harvard (*puff puff*).

It didn't feel very Fincher though. Aside from the lack of serial killers, backwards aging and Meatloaf in a fat suit, it didn't have that Fincher look. If someone had shown me this movie without telling me it was David Fincher, I would never have guessed it.

And finally, the music.

From the moment I heard that Reznor and Ross were scoring the story of Facebook, I wondered how the hell they were going to A.) make that interesting and B.) not make it too Nine-Inch-Nails-playing-behind-the-story-of-Facebook.

Every trailer and clip I saw seemed to fit less and less with the music Reznor and Ross were creating.

Then, about a week ago, the score was released.

I listened to it and listened to it and heard a Nine-Inch-Nails-ass Nine Inch Nails instrumental album.

Maybe a little less intrusive, a little more atmospheric, even cinematic at points, but certainly not for a movie about Facebook.

Well.

I was right.

I'm not going to say that the music was jarring or took me out of the movie, it's just that, nine times out of ten, it didn't seem to fit. The overall effect was that, yes, it made the film darker, but the subject matter just wasn't that dark. There were moments when it worked just fine, but there were also moments when I was puzzled as to why a piece of music was being used in a specific scene. Again, never to the point that the movie was ruined, but it just didn't make a lot of sense to me.

I think what may have happened was that Fincher has wanted to work with Reznor since the Survivor movie got cancelled and the Fight Club musical (yes, that was real) never happened, but nothing he's worked on since then has lined up with both of their schedules and Fincher was just ready to do it.

In interviews, Fincher talks about how he asked Reznor last year and Reznor said that he couldn't give it his best and refused.

Fincher shot the movie and then, when Reznor called him back to apologize for not doing it and to keep him in mind for his next film, Fincher told him he was still waiting on him for it.

Fincher wanted him to do this from day one, no matter what it was.

Or at least that's how it felt.

It felt like a massive Nine Inch Nails fan getting the chance to work with Nine Inch Nails, not only that, but to have Nine Inch Nails music crafted for your project.

In the end, it doesn't matter.

I've now purchased two scores in my entire life: The Social Network and Requiem For A Dream.

I don't listen to RFAD anymore and, in a few months, except for a few tracks, I'll most likely not listen to The Social Network either.

Doesn't mean it isn't good, just means I'm not into a solid hour plus of instrumental music.

Whatever.

The Social Network is a great movie and, unless you're a trainspotting Nine Inch Nails fanboy like me, you'll enjoy it.

Yeah.

THE WEEKEND...BEGINS...NOW

10.4.10

3:30 pm

FOOOLED YOOU!!!

The weekend does not, in fact, begin now, or any time NEAR now.

Fool.

Heh.

Anyway, over the weekend, aside from nursing my sickness, I finished Dead Rising 2, to my delighted surprise, with an "S" rank!

Lemme break it on down fuh yuh...

Way back when, when Capcom used to make Resident Evil games where your character moved like a goddamn tank, you'd receive different grades at the end of the game, based on your performance and such factors as how long you took, how many times you saved your game, how many health items you used, etc.

The possible grades were "A" through "F" and, above an "A"...the "S" rank, "S" standing for "Superior".

Superior to what, I do not know.

Certainly not the Japanese as even their most retarded retard could utterly destroy any Gaijin dog in any video game ever.

Whatever the case, "getting an 'S' Rank" has become synonymous with doing the best one is able to do in a game.

And, despite not defeated every enemy or saving every survivor in the game, I received the "S" rank my first time through.

On the other hand, my character is only level 33 of 50 and I've only achieved 24% of the games trophies.

Not that I'm much of a trophy guy, this is just to show how winning a game and finishing a game these days can be two totally different things.

Another indication: at the end of my first playthrough, I had killed just about 5,000 zombies.

There is a trophy for killing 72,000.

Yeah.

DR2 allows one to restart the game after you've finished at the same level with the same equipment and skills so it should be more fun this time round.

Less difficult and more zombie-killy.

Aside from the unique save system, the game was wholly enjoyable.

I highly recommend it.

Any one want to play co-op?

Along with the slaughter of zombies, I watched Where The Wild Things Are.

What a wash.

I never worshipped the book when I was a kid so watching it was...kind of pointless, empty.

Nothing happened in it.

They romped.

I have nothing bad to say about romping, God knows, but why are they romping?

It's fun to have fun, yes, we know, but, come on, you can't make a whole movie based on that fact!

Unless you're Spike Jonze, apparently.

I'd heard great things about this movie as well so that probably had some negative impact too.

Eh.

Whatever.

In the end, Max remained a little shit.

Excellent moral, Spike.

Sadly, I did NOT see The Social Network this weekend as I was sick and couldn't be bothered, but I might just set out early some day this week and catch it on 86th.

Still hearing good things.

I might even eat a hot dog and indulge in some papaya dust juice.

Anyone want to join me?

At noon?

In the middle of the week?

To watch a movie?

No?

Anyone?

God damn it.

You fucking Daylighters...

Anyway, despite my sick, I had (what I thought) to be an okay audition this morning.

It had almost the exact same feel and thrust as the thing I recorded last week, so maybe that's a good sign?

This one is about Double Tree by Hilton.

Apparently, when you check in, they give you a cookie.

Christina, you'll be happy to know as soon as I read that, I asked the recording engineer what if you're gluten and dairy allergic.

Blank stare.

What do we do at the barbeque, if we're vegan xmax.

And there isn't even hot-house corn.

After the audition, I asked the guys if, if I get this, I get to meet Paris Hilton.

That lead us to a truncated discussion of her infamous fuck tape.

Did you know she takes a phone call in the middle of it?

And the guy gives this brilliant look to the camera like, "yeah, she did just takes a phone call but I'm erect and she's willing".

Such expression.

Love it.

Finally also again, as I furiously twittered this afternoon (although, often times, I find that 140 characters is not nearly enough to fully express my fury), Cake is accepting callers for this beautiful, pendant key chain.

Or might as well be.

I got an e-mail that ACTUALLY said "Holy cow! Cake is taking pre-sale orders for their new album!"

IT ISN'T COMING OUT FOR FOUR MONTHS!!!

AND, here's the thing (Note: there will be more than one thing) that bothers me:

For $15 you get the CD, autographed by the band (whatever).

For $25 you get the autographed CD, a t-shirt (limited edition, although I could buy the same one off their website now if I wanted) and the album on vinyl.

For $30, same as the $25, but with a 7" single (the b-side is just another track from the album, nothing new or unreleased)...and a digital download of the album.

NO!

WRONG! WRONG WRONG WRONG!!!

You have the digital for cheap, maybe $10, because it's just a file on a computer, there's nothing physical, it isn't costing you any money, THEN the CD for $15 INCLUDING A LINK TO THE DIGITAL DOWNLOAD THE MOMENT THE ALBUM COMES OUT BECAUSE YOU LOVE AND RESPECT YOUR FANS AND THE FACT THAT THEY HAVE STUCK WITH YOU THROUGH SIX YEARS OF RELEASING SWEET FUCK ALL! NOT AT HIGHER PRICE POINTS!!! WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU ONLY GIVING OUT THE DIGITAL WITH PACKAGES OF THIRTY DOLLARS OR MORE?! THE MORE PHYSICAL STUFF YOU HAVE, THE HIGHER THE PRICE!!! WHAT KIND OF 21ST CENTURY, INTERNET BUSINESS MODEL IS THAT, YOU FUCKING ECO-SNARK ASSHOLES???!!!

AND ELEVEN MOTHERFUCKING TRACKS?! ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR POCKET-MULCHING MINDS?!

THAT'S LESS THAN TWO FUCKING SONGS PER YEAR SINCE YOU LAST RELEASED ANYTHING WORTH LISTENING TO!!!!!!!!

YOU GODDAMN FILTHY DOG PENISES! YOU HAVE MADE AN ECO-VILLAIN OF ME!

FROM THIS POINT ON, I PROMISE TO DO EVERYTHING IN MY POWER TO COUNTERACT EVERYTHING YOU HAVE EVER DONE AND CONTINUE TO DO TO BETTER THIS WORLD!!!

EVERY TREE YOU'VE GIVEN OUT AT EVERY SHOW I SHALL FIND AND BURN DOWN!!!!!

FOR EVERY SWEATSHOP-FREE SHIRT YOU SELL, I WILL BUILD A SWEATSHOP!!

AND FOR EVERY YEAR YOU DO NOT RELEASE AN ALBUM FROM THIS POINT ON I WILL ERADICATE AN ENTIRE SPECIES FROM THE PLANET!!!!

YOU COULD HAVE RELEASED A DOUBLE ALBUM, YOU COULD HAVE THROWN THE LIVE ALBUM IN AS A BONUS, BUT NOOOOOOOOOO AND NOW THIS IS HAPPENING!!!

MY CARBON FOOTPRINT SHALL STAMP YOU OUT OF EXISTENCE!!!!!

Anyway, the pre-order page had clips from the album and there's some good sounding stuff on there.

I'll keep you updated.

Think that's all.

Oh, and Will and I need to come to an agreement about that thing.

Tick tick tick, my friend, tick tick tick.