Why is it every time someone is not supposed to be using the Internet at work, they not only use it, but use it to look for porn? Do they honestly think that deleting the history and the cookies will make their crime undetectable?
Well I certainly hope so because suddenly there is Internet on my computer at work and I have been looking for some pretty weird shit. Oh boy. Makes Tubgirl (you remember her Phil, right?) look like the homepage for the Vatican.
In fact, as soon as I am done typing this up, I plan to post it…FROM WORK.
Now to work on a virus…
Man is I full.
Two days ago it was the Thanksgiving Banquet. The kitchen staff sent down a bunch of plates. Turkey, ham, stuffing, veggies, rice and pumpkin pie. I ate like a gay pig. Yesterday, there was another permutation of the Thanksgiving meal and I got turkey, ham, rice, veggies and rolls. And today, oh wondrous glory, turkey (I happened to luck upon the fucking leg), rice and apple pie. The best thing is, this isn’t the turkey mash they serve to the residents here, this is prime shit, my friends.
Lordy, lordy.
Here’s a question for you all: why do people like stuffing so much? It’s wet bread cooked inside the body of a turkey. It should be disgusting and disease ridden, but it’s delicious. I could eat stuffing for breakfast and just might while I am home for Thanksgiving.
What an active week it has been and it’s only Wednesday!! I‘ve gone swimming twice, had lunch with my father. Woo! How the time does become noticeable when you aren’t sleeping 14 hours until an hour before you go to work, getting home and playing video games until you go to sleep again. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Or if they do tell you otherwise, ignore them.
And the week isn’t over yet!! Tomorrow before work I am going to start making my Heckle Tools for Will’s speech on Saturday which myself and Christina Nongirlfriend will be at (all three times it is delivered). Then, after work, off to see Harry Potter…uh…whichever number this one is. Then, Friday, it’s fun sleepover night with Christina Nongirlfriend so her and I can be up stupidly early on Saturday so we can speed to D.C. and make it for all Will’s speeches.
Hr and I need to come up with some bus games. If we sit in the back, maybe I can convince her to give me a hand job and then freak out when she touché my penis, just to fuck with her head and keep the ride interesting. Hahahaha. Man is this a busy week.
Also, Ray has finished the script for “Shadow Beyond the Stars” and I cannot wait to read it. This is going to be glorious fun.
AND
I saw a bootleg copy of the Sugababes video: not only am I in it, but I own the fucking thing for those four seconds. As soon as it’s available somewhere, I will let you know. It’s being released on an enhanced CD single n the U.K and you can find it on Amazon, but I’ll try to make it easier for you. Lazy pigs. Too busy rolling around in your own shit to buy my first legit music video? Cockgobblers. Burn in your self created hell of venereal disease. Drink the pus of shame and syphilis. I…am going to have another slice of apple pie.
By the hoo hoo Chris, it is nowhere near as good as yours, but I would rather have bad pie as opposed to no pie. And now…to pie…
Oh grod it is SOOOOOO adequate. It tastes like it was made by a machine. This apple pie is cold and heartless.
Holy shit and speaking of machines…the new Beck video for “Hell Yes” is up on his website. Lots of fun. I won’t give it away, but I will say that the stars are these robots.
“They're called QRIOs, so-called ‘dream robots’ developed by Sony Japan as high-tech playthings for children. The QRIO can carry on conversations, adapt to a multitude of environments and - most importantly - mimic human movements, including complex dance routines. Currently, there are only four working QRIOs in the world. And all of them appear in the ‘Hell Yes’ video.” It’s directed by Spike Jonze AND Garth Jennings and it will cause your anus to leak.
In other news, I have started reading Roald Dahl’s My Uncle Oswald after YEARS of hearing how good it is. This book should be read by anyone who thinks Dahl is a children’s writer. In fact, I feel sorry for the parents of the children who accidentally read this thinking it’s a children’s book and then have to explain what copulation and erections are to their 6 year olds. An excellent book so far. Philip, I expect you to be Uncle Oswald.
I don’t know if I can ramble about anything else right now. I’m going.
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