11.29.05
3:19 PM
I feel like my pants: rumpled, worn and with a small yet noticeably stain spreading in the crotch.
My original flight was to leave at 8:45 AM, put me into Raleigh-Durham and then from there to NYC. I would arrive around 1ish. However, my flight down got balled up (no details since there aren’t many things more boring and esoteric than descriptions of long airport waits…) so my family and I figured it would be wise to check that the returning flight was okay. It was although getting in at 1ish would only work if EVERYTHING went perfect. There was only to be a 30 minute layover and if one plane was late and the second was early, I was fucked out of some money (I’m working today…). We saw that there was an earlier flight (7:55 AM) that went directly to NYC and got me in at 10:30. Long story short, I was up at 5 this morning after getting only 3 hours of sleep.
Anyway.
The point of this update is to let you all know I got a good one off:
So I sat down in the aisle seat of an empty row. There was a bag and a coat on the window seat. Eventually, a guy showed up claiming the window seat. He asked is I knew whose stuff this was, I told him I didn’t. He moved it to the middle and that was that. As the plane filled up and no one claimed the seat, I became suspect of terrorism and asked the stew if she had any info. She said she thought the stuff belonged to some woman who was in the back. As we were about to leave, the woman shows up, talks to the stew for a moment and determines that she is in the wrong seat. Thanks to me, there is an empty seat between ne and the guy. Soon after that, we are informed that the half hour delay has turned into a forty-five minute delay. As we were sitting, motionless, on the ground (I find fewer things in life more annoying and useless that an airplane sitting, motionless, on the ground) the man turns to me and says, “Hey, thanks for saying something about the stuff on the seat.” I respond, “No problem.” A pause for effect and timing (also to put the words in the right order, it was blistering early still) “Maybe I should say something about the plane not moving.”
Score.
Take that Delta Song. Suck from my sarcasm teat and choke upon the poison milk contained within.
Had weird flying dreams, waking dreams, erections during the flight. Garbled.
When I returned home I torn my clothes off and snuggled into my bed from 12:40 to 2:40 in order to regain some strength. I had a dream in which I was to give a speech that Will and his brother were coming to. It was to be about the X-Prize, but it wasn’t going to be since everything knew I knew nothing about it. I don’t remember much, but I am sure it was going to end with me doing a Bill Cosby impression.
There was another dream or branch of this dream in which the family of bears living in the Springs (that’s true, not in the dream) were hanging out in my garage (dream) and I ad dealings with them…
And now, here I sit, broken-hearted.
Time crawls slowly by…