The troofus...xmax.

10.14.05
3:32 PM

Just now some woman from Mt. Sinai Hospital asked for some patient info from me. After that, she asked what department she was talking to. I have only had a venti caramel Frappuchino (I don't feel bad about misspelling that since it isn’t really a word...) and a Starbuck’s crumb cake for sustenance today and because of this I was almost unable to surpass the urge to inform her that this was the “Bootylicious Department. I think I found out how caffeine and sugar still affect me: when they are A. the only things in my body and B. when they are combined. I am as jittery as a chipmunk and I feel a diarrhea hurricane building up inside of mine anus, but I am enjoying myself nonetheless. Will wants me to shriek, “Shut the fuck up!” into the intercom of some annoying patients’ room and today he might just get his wish.
In other news, I am planning a Batman party for next weekend. The only tricky thing is I have a wedding either Saturday or Sunday and whichever day it isn’t, will be the Batman party. This party will consist of a screening of Batman and Batman Begins (maybe Batman Returns if I pick it up). After that, we will listen to the Batman soundtrack. If you don’t dig on Prince, begone. Then maybe some Bat Martinis and Bat Cakes. God I’m energetic.
I’ve recently taken to playing Su Doku. You should all check it out if you have vast gulfs of time that need filling with something aside from staring blankly and drooling, although there is nothing wrong with either of those activities.
HA! I just shocked a woman into silence by saying “HellothisistheoperatorhowmayIhelpyou?” in half a second. WOO! My lord. I feel like Beavis in his Cornholio state. Cornholio, but more focused. I dig it, ‘all. I. Dig. It. SHOVELS PEOPLE! Fuckin’ shovels.
Is “gerbit” a word? It certainly should be. [GUR-bit].

4:24 PM
I was just leafing through today’s Daily News to get to the Su Doku and saw the headline “1 Killed, 2 Hurt by Gunfire”. My first thought was, “Yup, gunfire’ll do that.”