10.19.05
4:34 PM

What a beautiful day today. Almost…too beautiful…I suspect terrorist involvement. Raising personal threat level from tangerine to raspberry.
We’re through the looking glass, people.
Salubriously though, it was an unreasonably sexy day ot today. I predict it is one of the last we’ll see this year. Of the seven perfect days, I believe we’ve used five or six, so get ready for the Anus Weather to begin. That kind of weather that makes you wish you were puckered up in a pair of nice warm trousers…like an anus.
Jesus Christ I’m going to another wedding this weekend. Marlena and Will (not Pxmxrxntz, different Will) are getting married. Yeesh. NO more weddings for a while, okay? Any more and I might just make feces in my pants. I will make sure to send the happy couple my poo poo pants as a sign of my happiness and pooping. Be warned, you filthy pig fuckers, be very knob gobbling warned.
And now, some haiku.

Anus Weather comes
Bundle up! Pucker up too.
Icicles will probe…

The Coughing Lady
My word! How she coughs! GARF!! GARF!!
I ignore her act.