Katamari XMAX!!!

1.9.06
4:29 PM
On Saturday I purchased a PlayStation 2 video game called “We Love Katamari”.
This is the sequel to a game that came out in 2004 called Katamari Damacy. It is the strangest videogame ever created.

The “plot”: While drunk, your father, the King of the Cosmos, destroyed the Universe in Katamari Damacy and to rectify his mistake, he got you, Prince, to create katamari’s and give them to him to remake the Universe. (A katamari is a big ball of stuff that gets bigger and bigger as you roll it over things. At first, it can only pick up paper clips and coins, then small fruits, then checkers, then toy cars, then small animals, and so on and so forth until you can roll up people, cars, buses etc. That is the simplest and clearest explanation.). This game Katamari Damacy became a huge hit (in the world of the video game and in real life) and the King of the Cosmos became famous. SO, the “story” of We Love Katamari is that people liked Katamari Damacy so much, they are asking to King to basically do stuff like that again. As a character you wander around a meadow that it filled with people and you will go to them and they will say things like, “Katamari Damacy was so much fun, can you roll one up now?”, “My grandson likes this game and I would like to play it with him, may I try?” and so forth. Other people will has tasks or specific games they want to play. For instance, a skinny sumo wrestler will ask your help I making him big for the fight. You then have to roll him around eating things so he can gain weight. In another, a student has been studying so hard that he forgot to pay his electric bill so his lights have gone off. You have to roll up fire flies to light his room. When you finish a goal, the person who asked you to do it will appear on the King’s shoulder (the King is huge) and will say thanks and give the katamari to the King. He will then throw it up into the Cosmos and it will become a planet or a satellite. Your final task (asked of you by a dog) is to roll up the sun. In order to do this, you must go around the cosmos and roll up all the planets and moons you have made (along with stardust) and then, if you katamari is big enough, you can roll up the sun. I have yet to do this since my katamaris aren’t big enough yet. That is the game in a nutshell.
Anyway, along with bizarre characters, dialogue and mission goals, there is a soundtrack that Trent Reznor of Nine Inch Nails has said he puts on a high volume to bother the shit out of his sound engineer. He also said that while on the tour bus, they have been playing this for months.
Anyway, I got this two days ago and I have played it for a total of six hours or so, no more than 8. I woke up this morning singing the We Love Katamari theme (the chorus which is as follows “Naaa, na na na na na naaa! Katamari Damacy! Naaaa, na na na na na naaa! Katamari Damacy!” This sung by a very nasal Japanese man) and as I continued through the day, remnants of my dreams came to me in ribbons: I had been dreaming about We Love Katamari all night. Not one dream I kept returning to, but several different dreams.
The thing of it is I have had dreams that feature recent events in my life, but none as intense as these. This game will be the end of me…