Mulch.
My body feels wrapped in mulch.
Wet, dirty, hot mulch.
But I smell fine.
Morning started with me waking up BEFORE I WANTED TO FUCK YOU GOD FOR THIS.
Then a shower (the result of which was undone and soaked in sweat mere minutes later), then out to my busy day.
First, a trip to Nutmeg to audition for some powder dry industrial for some company that...hm...you know? I have no fucking clue. The text was all about "we have a code and it helps us help our clients. With the future and business and plans and future business and our clients" it didn't actually say what, exactly, the fuck, it is that they do.
It would be awesome if this place (McBladders? MacLadders?) was just a shell company for Hustler or something.
Hustler shows you the insides.
After I read that thing with all the warm, supportive hugs my voice could muster, I tackled the script for the CXS Rail Transportation Navigator.
And it does exactly what it says it does.
Remember some months ago when I stupidly agreed to read about four hours worth of Dell Cloud shit for investors? The thing where I had to say words that I knew were words, but that's I'd never spoken before?
This was not nearly as bad as that, so I was easily able to make it sound like I knew what the fuck I was talking about.
It's called voice acting, folks...and I'm good at what I do.
After that, I headed over to Just Voices where I had a wonderful chat with Roger about the wedding and how nothing (to my neverending shock and delight) got fucked up and then I read a bunch of lines in my 75-80% Spongebob Squarepants voice.
I feel pretty comfortable about it, but, who knows?
CERTAINLY NOT I!
Next, my last minute session for Bud Light...for which I was already 12 minutes late (something runs two minutes late, then you miss a train, then something else runs five minutes late etc.).
This took place at a studio on Varick called White House and I don't think I've been to a swankier set up...well...the offices were swanky, the booth, not as much.
But, god DAMN this industry is doing just fine.
I drank two wine bottles full of water (I tend to perspire), jumped in the booth and did this intense read, then a less intense read, then a different kind of intense read, then some wild lines, then another read with more wonder, less anger and then, they decided to just go with my very first read, no edits, no nothing.
"One Take Jake" they called me, but I corrected them and told them my name was Paul, so it would be "One Take Paul".
And we laughed.
Then, without nothing but my iPod and the sodden clothes on my back, I set out for work where I sit now as the horrible beast slowly chews its way through my door, drawing sluggishly yet inexorably closer to mine form, just inches away now! If only I could flee, but nay, I just record these events in case of
You get it.
Lovecraft was silly.
Yeah.
Aside from all this, I have been informed by the Powers That Be Philip Maniaci, that "Too Tall" (the recent 24 Hour Film Race entry on which I worked) will be available for public consumption around June 6th.
And I will probably be able to scratch up a link.
But it'll be a secret...just for you...
shhhhhhhh...
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