So in July I did that Red Bull thing. Here, finally, is my journal from that night. Prepare to be disgusted, worried and disappointed...
*****
7.1.05
11:29 PM
Just finished my first can of Red Bull.
Tonight I am working the 11p to 7a shift at the Hospital. For some reason, Phil, Will and myself thought that it would be a good idea if I drank one can of Red Bull every half hour for the whole night (and, surprise surprise, Christina thinks this is \b not\b0 a good idea). I've only had two cans in my life at this point.
Here are the stats (the important ones anyway): The main ingredient in Red Bull is Taurine. "Taurine" is the slick, commercial name for something or other amino acid created by Red Bull. Get it? TAURine...TAURus...Bull... No? Idiot.
So here is some information about Taurine. It is found in bile and human breast milk. In the MSDB it is listed as an irritant and if ingested, the MSDB advises that you rinse your mouth out. It is attributed to congestive heart failure, diabetes, epilepsy and cystic fibrosis. The LD50 (Lethal Dose 50- which is the amount that after which consumed, half of those that consumed it died) is figured out as such...for lab rats. For every kilogram one weighs, they can handle five times that many grams of taurine. In other words, although this doesn't really apply to humans, I weight roughly 109kg and should therefore be able to ingest about 545 grams of taurine. Each can contains one gram of taurine so I should be fine.Drinking 16 cans of Red Bull is the equivalent of drinking 16 cups of coffee or 40 cans of Coke. There is about a pound of sugar in 16 cans. I've finished one can and have 17 minutes to finish the second. Throughout the night I am going to describe how I feel and if it works for staving off Mr. Sandman.
11:50 PM
My heart rate is 96 beats per minute (BPM)
12:04 AM
Just got off the phone with Dr. Drew Pomerantz (Will's brother) who is hanging out with two other chemists. They all agree that that a mere 16 grams of taurine is not going to be enough to topple this juggernaut. They also agree that a heart rate of 96 BPM for a human at rest is above average. Hm.
Also, just opened number three.
Heart rate is 90 BPM.
12:42 AM
My hands have picked up the slightest tremble. Heart rate is now 80 BPM. Can # 4.
1:00 AM
1/4 finished with the experiment and nothing really drastic has occurred. 4 cans in 2 hours. Slight tremble still slight. Saliva feels a bit thick but not unpleasant. So far, I am a golden god. Heart rate is now 84 BPM.
Average heart rate is 87.5 BPM.
1:07 AM
Saliva tasted a bit odd for a moment. Back to normal now.
1:32 AM
Finished fifth can. Drink now has slightly medicine-y taste. Tummy hurts a bit.
Going on break.
2:10 AM
I feel like there are sparks in my veins.Slight tremble is now more pronounced.
2:22 AM
Waves passing through my body. Several waves. Opening # 7.
3:49 AM
Lights appear brighter than usual. Also, my sense of smell has become ultra sensitive. I think the taurine is affecting my autonomic system. Pupils dilated more than usual.
Number nine. Number nine. Number nine. Number nine.
After taking a moment to consider the effects so far, I must say that what I'm experiencing is not unlike what I usually experience during my graveyard shifts. Earlier, Will and I were discussing why exactly I was doing this. I mentioned it was to test my boundaries. Will said that that would face us with a logical paradox. What paradox is that, I asked. That you have boundaries, replied Will. I thought for a moment and rephrased my statement. All right then, I am testing the absence of boundaries. That phrase is brilliant and copyrighted as of right now for Cat's Lair Industries. My slogan still remains: Sursly? Sursly. Here comes number ten..........
4:11 AM
11 minutes behind on can 11. Don't think my body wants anymore. Well guess what body...brain is in charge. Yes, Common Sense is still working, but Mr. Curiosity is bigger than common Sense and you have six more cans in your very immediate future. HA! Fucker. Yag.
4:51 AM
I have four Red Bulls left and I am considering just pounding all four in one go to get them out of the way. No major changes at all. Just a persistent queasy feeling in my stomach. What a waste of money. Sheesh. I feel like doing this with some other substance would have been more exciting. Like cocaine. Next time. I'll do a line every half hour. Hm. Jesus.
5:04 AM
I am not going to do this ever again.
*****
As a result of this whole thing, I awoke the next morning unable to hear out of my right ear. The condition persisted for about two days.
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