Maize

5.11.5
3:23
I LOVE Haribo Gummi Bears. After trying them, regular Gummi products seem pointless. I challenge you all to that test.
Anyway, the Deli on my corner had a large box of Haribo Gummi Bears and nothing would make a bad day fair and a fair day good than a small bag of said Gummi snacks. Today I set off to the Hospital at 2:57 for my 3 o’clock shift and I stopped at the Deli to grab some Gummi Bears. They were out.
It’s now 3:24 and I am suddenly having a bad day. I am overly irritable and will most likely turn off the switchboard and phone to try and sort everything out.
The question: Could I really be having a bad day because of the lack of Gummi Bears? I don’t eat them every day. Maybe three small packs a week or so, but the lack of Gummi Bears when I wanted (needed?) them today has seeming cast a shadow over my usual cheerful demeanor. Updates on my mood as they occur…

4:41
Just in a shitty mood, I guess. People on the phone make me want to scream, patients on the board make me want to infect them with cholera…more so and the loud, ignorant bastards that work around me make me want to call up the local news and make stories up about them.
I’ve been considering calling a news station anonymously and giving them details about what happened and also letting them know just how fucked up things are here. For one thing, I am still gainfully employed. Yesterday I hung up on, misdirected and sassed the same impolite woman for about 15 minutes. I made it my goal to say “Sursly” and “Meow” (a la ‘Super Troopers’) to the patients over the board as many times as I could while keeping a straight face. I mean, holy fucking shit. If the people in charge were any more stupid than they are now…I can’t even picture them being any more stupid actually.
But the best/worst part is, I am a far cry above the others in my department as far as job performance. I mean, I may fuck around with the patients, hang up on people and spread my own malevolent miasma throughout the establishment, but I am still, head and shoulders, better than all the other operators. I am convinced that I am unaffected by consequence and anything going against this hypothesis would be welcomed. Reality is different for me here…thinner for me because of something I can’t put my finger on. I think I’ll call the Fox Five Problem Solvers on this place. See what fun that causes.
Falling down and down and down.
10:28
Did you now that a secondary definition for “elope” is “to slip away, to escape”? I didn’t. So when I got a call this evening about a patient “eloping” this afternoon, I was understandably confused.
Right now I am ignoring a ringing phone and listening to Nine Inch Nails as I sit at my switchboard. When I get home in about a half hour I will watch some more Oz, then totter off to sleep. I feel sluggish.
Three words: French vanilla popcorn.
I think I just heard one of the Spenglish guards say: “Canto Burrito”. Could this be The Singing Burrito? I most certainly hope so.
The Life Aquatic DVD has some interesting things on it, including an interview with Mark Mothersbaugh in which he misuses the term “palindrome”. Silly, silly Devo.
Eels will be at Town Hall on June 30th. I and everyone who is worth my regard will be there.
10:55
Just got a call from the filthy fat cunt relieving me this evening. She’ll be late. Either way, come 11:00 pm, I AM DONE. Turning phone and switchboard off and humming with my eyes shut. Sursly.
I really like my hair. So soft. I have been unable to swim this week so far. My body yearns to be in water. The feel of it is…exhilarating. I learned to swim before I learned to walk. I spent hours in the ocean when I was younger. I loved it. My body is already showing a slight improvement with the few days of swimming I have done. Friday I will be back in full effect. I might have a burger too. And a cup of New England Clam Chowder. Mmm.
11:XX
I = OUT