That's fucking talent...

Wow, my girlfriend is really fucking talented. Let's see...what can I do...uh...well...I can't find an apartment in the city...I can't find a job that I want to do AND that will have me...uh....I...can...bore people with my journal? And...uh...hm. Oh wait! I know! I CAN SUCK MY OWN DICK! HA! TAKE THAT, ROSS PEROT!