There is now a Chihuahua in my, already small apartment. Why? Well, one guess...because both cats died from malnutrition? Nope, they're both still here and sufficiently terrified of said Chihuahua. Because I finally snapped and killed the cats and this is the way the ditz twins are dealing with the grief? Nope, simple celled organisms such as moss, fungus and my roommates have neither the brain nor ability for emotional capacity. Then why, why is there a mother fucker Chihuahua in my, already small apartment? Well, I'll tell you why...because my stupid fucking roommates think that a DOG will be easier to take care of than TWO FUCKING CATS! And why am I not completely fine with the idea of sharing this already small apartment with two cats, two fucking morons AND a fucking Chihuahua? Quite simply because I've seen them mistreat, neglect and abuse their "precious little kitty wuckums" and can't wait 'til the first weekend these dumb cunts go away (Flouncy to fuck some Bolivian drug lord and his bastard children all over the country and the other to pine away in upstate New York or fucking Jersey about the bisexual mindfucker who used to fuck her silly and now wants to move on and how he's breaking her stupid fucking heart and not knowing it) and come back to find all three pets dead because...huh? What? We need to give these little hairy walking people food? And...what? Water? But I left an ashtray full of smoldering roaches for them to enjoy? How stupid can two cats and a Chihuahua get? Trust me, you filthy sluts, not nearly as stupid as you two.
Now you out there might be asking yourself, "Yo, Flouncy should be drawn and quartered...but why the hateration for the other one?" I'll tell ya...the reason I've come to hate this mopey druncunt (made that one myself) is because, besides the fact that she mopey 24 hours a day and drunk 7 nights a week (and was heard to say, IN EARNEST during her experimental 'week of sobriety' while smoking pot..."At least it's not alcohol!!") and promised to get professional help if her week without pissing it up didn't work (it didn't, she didn't)...she is a spineless jelly fish. Redundant? Yes. Clear how spineless she is? You betcha. You spend five minutes with this blade of grass and you can convince her, seriously CONVINCE her to believe ANYTHING. And since Flouncy is the stupid one and the other is the weak one...well I'm sure you can all see how bad of a combination weakness and stupidity is. I swear to Christ that I'm starting to understand why Hitler felt this "urge to purge" if you will. Maybe he roomed with a model and a weak-willed alcoholic and tried to start a culling of THEIR kind but then found that they had all died from natural selection so he was just going to maybe kill his roommates until one day, a Jewish art critic called him a fag and that set him off. I have a funny feeling though, that his model roommate asked her Jewish art critic friend to come over and take a look at her roommate's stuff...hence, it's the models' fault we had the Holocaust. Damn, yet another reason to hate this ball of hair and drugs and slurred speech.
And by the way, I do like the Chihuahua, but I don't like the idea that I will be the one responsible for it and that if I don't take care of the poor unprepared thing is going to die and that these dumb bitches won't clean it up because they're too busy smoking pot, snorting coke, fucking bisexuals, weeping, flouncing or just existing on that plane somewhere between the ashtrays that are scattered about my apartment and the dry shit on the ass of our new Chihuahua (named Karma).
Finally, I think they think the Chihuahua is already here to stay, so if any of you want a housetrained Chihuahua who actually doesn't yip and shake like an invalid, let me know so I can just give it to you one night when they're out getting pumped by scummy drug mules who need put their seed in something dirty.
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