Digression: check! Obscenity: check!

Last night, I masticated Dan Delgado for my upcoming podcast, digressive_obscenity, and it went EVERYWHERE.
And, not only that, but it went EVERYWHERE FOREVER.
By the end, my ProTools was hemorrhaging HW buffer clocks and RF data blips like...something that does that.
We clocked in at about two and half hours.
HOT.

Here are three topics we discussed:

1. Hand-crafting boxes in which people can grow lettuce
2. The movie A Serbian Film (considered as bad or worse that the Human Centipede films)
3. Collecting teapots

Also, I know I've only had four people on thus far, but Dan's Zombie Apocalypse Escape/Survival Plan was SO detailed...

I think I've decided how I'm going to release these, as sitting down at a set time every week with someone and then editing and releasing them on a set schedule doesn't really work for me; I'm going to try doing this in waves.
Once I have ten edited episodes ready to go, I'll release that wave, one episode at a time every week until I'm out.
Then, more people, more episodes, more waves, etc.
So far, this has been a lot of fun, and now that I have my free time back, I can focus on this thing for a while.
Such good.

This week has been a bear with a gun, and I'm ready for its end.

A review of Coil's "A Thousand Lights In A Darkened Room"

Since the promise and eventual acquisition of a handful of "lost" Nine Inch Nails remixes created by Danny Hyde over on the Echoing The Sound discussion boards*, I've decided to go back and actually listen to some of Coil's twisted, terrifying and, at times, incomprehensible and unlistenable discography. Luckily, there was a time (probably about six minutes or so after I heard Trent Reznor talk about how amazing they were and how much they inspired and impacted his own sound) when I downloaded their entire catalogue, and it was still right where I left it, gathering whatever the equivalent of dust is for mp3s.

I had no idea where to start, so I went with something titled "Black Light District". After doing some digging**, I learned that "Black Light District" is one of the dozen or so aliases the band had used over its twenty year career, and that the album by BLD is actually called A Thousand Lights In A Darkened Room.
Anyway, I've decided to listen to one Coil album a week, in no particular order, and report back on how it is.

First things first, this album could also have been alternately titled Music By Which Serial Killers Murder Scarecrows In A Dead City To. A lot of this isn't, technically, music, more...horrors. If more horror movie composers tried for this kind of sound, "horror movies" would become "screaming nightmare kill movies". I listened to this while going through my daily commute and my usual jaunts around the city...and it made everything hyper-terrifying...in broad daylight. One should never listen to this at night. I had it playing during the snowstorm on Wednesday, and it turned the winter wonderland that is New York City under a fresh coat of snow into a broken graveyard under which every puffy groundcloud of white lurked a rotting, sentient, starving corpse. COIL DID THIS.
While I originally thought that it would have been awesome to see these guys collaborate with a more melodic, song-based artist, I have since changed my mind; these things that they have created exist on their own and they are perfect in that way (plus, their extensive remix catalogue is a pretty fair example of what that original wish would have sounded like...hint: it sounds like an awesome nightmare). Everything sounds ritualistic, the songs, their titles, the sounds in their songs...
The first time I actually felt afraid while listening to ATLDR was during the third track, "Die Wölfe Kemmen Zurück", which consists chiefly of a droning noise punctuated by some repeated metallic clanking...for ten and a half minutes. FUCK YOU! YOU HAVE TO HEAR IT BEFORE YOU JUDGE ME INSANE! Look, I'll put it this way: have you ever had a scary dream? A scary dream that was so intense and terrible that it actually scared you awake? Now, have you ever tried relating said scary dream to someone, only to find them shaking their head and saying, "I don't get it"? That is what's taking place here. So, I say again, FUCK YOU! YOU HAVE TO HEAR IT BEFORE YOU JUDGE ME INSANE!
It isn't until the fourth track, "Refusal Of Leave To Land", when we finally hear John Balance's voice, and it is just as unpleasant as the sounds surrounding it; creaking and sharp with reverb, almost reptilian, it is a perfect compliment to the "instrumentation" in which it's swaddled. This is also the first track to have any real melody to speak of; some isolated, haunting notes, played backwards on a keyboard, sinking in a mire of noise.
"Stoned Circular II" also has something like melody, although it's more like...repeated sounds that form a phrase that falls somewhere on the musical scale...? Fuck it, whatever, there's a bass guitar in it, okay?
"Green Water" was recorded in a swamp. In R'lyeh***. And it goes clammy, glabrous tentacle in clammy, glabrous tentacle with "Cold Dream Of An Earth Star". I literally shudder to think of what is having such dreams as these...
Then, out of nowhere, a solid, straightforward (if slightly creepy) electronic track called "Blue Rats"...which is, naturally, followed by a minute of jarring, oscillating noise called "Scratches and Dust", before the final track, "Chalice", begins.
"Chalice" is beautiful like a flower arrangement at a child's funeral.
P.S. The child killed itself.
P.P.S. Because it listened to this album.

And that, reader, is Coil's A Thousand Lights In A Darkened Room.
I don't know where you can find it or if it actually exists outside of my mind, but, hey, if it doesn't, then I'm certainly in for quite the time.
I'll be back next week, unless I've eaten my own face to death.









* I'll get into this and my first exposure to Coil during this month's Bitchfest.

** Read: "typing 'coil black light district wiki' into Google"

*** YOU FUCKING PROVE ME WRONG, ASSHOLE.

My Thoughts On The Soundtrack For "The Man With The Iron Fists"

As a personal favor to William Pomerantz and as I have lost the funding for my feature-length documentary on Shock G/Humpty Dumpty, I have taken a listen to the soundtrack for The Man With The Iron Fists, and here are my musings:

First off, I've been listening to the Wu-Tang Clan since 1993 and I've followed them closely ever since...then, once ODB died, I sort of lost interest as the Wu-Tang Clan, in my eyes, did not exist anymore.
I've paid attention to some of their solo efforts, mostly Method Man's and RZA's and, to a lesser extent, the GZA's, Raekwon's and Ghostface Killah's. While most of them have had some pretty solid rap albums with a lot of the Wu-Tang guesting on their stuff, no one's career has been as interesting to watch unfold as much as Robert Diggs AKA the RZA aka Bobby Digital AKA about four hundred other aliases he's shed like snake skins over the years. Rather than just continue making albums and occasionally producing something, he's matured into something I've never seen before in the hip hop and rap industry; he brings something new and exciting to every release he works on, from Ghost Dog to Kill Bill and, most recently, to The Man With The Iron Fists, a film for which he not only did the soundtrack, but which he also directed, co-wrote and stars in.
Holy.
Fucking.
Shit.

On to the music...

The stand out tracks for me include the opener (of course) which sets the Black Keys opposite some wonderful hyperbolic rapping from the RZA. It has an excellent beat, as most every RZA song does, but it's marred horribly by the RZA's last line. After a litany of how badass he is ("I look the Grim Reaper in the eye", "I spit in a crocodile's eye", "I tell a great white shark to brush its teeth" etc.), he finishes with "I date rape Beauty right in front of the Beast". Wow. Really? Call me soft or whatever you want, but rape really isn't funny and this line not only goes against the playful vibe of the song, it really ruins the whole thing for me. Seriously, after twenty years in the rap game and you're making light of date rape?
Sadly, there are quite a few instances of really disgusting treatment of women on this album, like "White Dress" and "Get Your Way". I don't know...maybe I've grown up since my days of enjoying rap or maybe rappers have gotten even more horrible with regards to objectifying women in their music, but, man, some of this is just awful.
Anyway, despite that poor lyrical choice up front, there are a few other great tracks on here, such as "Rivers of Blood", an amazing Wu-Tang showcase, "Built For This", "Just Blowin' In The Wind", and "Six Directions Of Boxing", which has one of the best GZA verses I've heard in a while. The thing that always set the Wu-Tang Clan and its members apart from a lot of other rappers for me was how distinct each of their voices were, specifically Ol' Dirty Bastard's and GZA's. No one could ever mistake them for anyone else.
The rest of the album is made up of some pretty functional rap tracks ("Tick, Tock", "The Archer", "I Go Hard"), some R&B (which I have never been a fan of), a 70's funk beat with some Chinese singing done over it and some other stuff I couldn't really get into.

Quite frankly, I'd have loved to see RZA branch out more with his collaborations, because, while there is some great rap on here, it's just rap. I'm not talking about Trent Reznor and RZA*, but maybe more stuff like the track with the Black Keys...minus the rape, of course.
Anyway, whether RZA takes my advice or not, I'm sure of two things: first, that the Wu-Tang Clan, however diminished it might be in the year 2012, still ain't nuthin' ta f' wit and, second, whatever RZA does do next is going to be great and sound timeless and innovative, all at the same time.
I am fully planning to see The Man With The Iron Fists  as soon as I get the chance.










* You thought it, I'll say it: Trent RZAnor

First Impressions of How to destroy angels_, "An omen EP_"

This may be all I say on the subject as I'm boring myself with all this hype...which would totally make you cry a lot, right?

Keep it together
Pretty much forgotten once I realized there are five more tracks behind it. I suppose it's a nice, not-really-groundbreaking start to lull one into a false sense of disappointment? Hm. That's a bit harsh. There are some very cool sounds here, but it's just not as dynamic as I would have liked. Me. So, come on guys, did you not get my fax of "The Ways I Would Like Your EP To Be Dynamic"? Sheesh. Moving on...

Ice age
Wow. "Ice age" actually shocked me, it's so wildly different from what I was expecting. It's so bright and warm and almost Bluegrass! Musically, at least; the lyrics are quite a bit darker. I like where this starts and I like where it ends. This might be the best track on the EP.

On the wing
Something about this kept reminding me of a Depeche Mode song. I very much like the vocal interplay and Reznor's gentleness. Another very solid track that does pretty much everything right. I also dig the piano.

The sleep of reason produces monsters
This starts off with a crisp and clear sound not usually associated with (the seven other songs by) HTDA. Then it loses itself amid an ocean of electronics. The droning voices aren't great, but they seem to work. For me, this is the weakest track on the EP.

The loop closes
This utilizes the same sort of programming (plinking, staccato, almost random arrangement of sounds made into a pattern) as "Ice age" but isn't nearly as fresh or well implemented this time around; although it's different enough to still work well. The vocals, while sung with conviction, are kind of awful ("the beginning is the end and keeps coming around again!" Yow.). Some really great layers here though.

Speaking in tongues
And then we reach the final track...which uses the same programming as "Ice age" and the song that just ended. The feel of this one is much better though, and the lyrics are prophetic and apocalyptic and perfectly match the mood. However, they employ the same distorted noise from their first EP and this is a bit of a problem for me. If they had used a guitar effect or synth voice or whatever, that might be different, but this noise is so distinct that it's actually a bit distracting and takes something away from the evolution of their sound; as in "they've had all this time and they're still using the same, exact sound?" etc. Despite this, this is a great closer to a really solid release.

So, here's what I'm taking away from my first listen: Yes, they have definitely evolved and grown, just as Reznor said, which is always exciting, but, by using the same programming device in three tracks on a six track EP, they've sown some doubts in me with regards to their upcoming LP...coming in early 2015.
I mean 2013.
Totally early though.
Like...February.
Or maybe March.
Or MAYBE April.
Maybe.

Seriously though, the whole thing does sound really great and, as not all of these tracks will actually appear on that full length album  (everything except "The sleep of reason produces monsters" and "The loop closes", I believe), my concerns might be unfounded.
Once again, this was only my first listen and, guess what, I plan on listening to this...I don't know...maybe a few more times?
Like...four.
Or five.
...
THOUSAND.

You can hear "An omen EP_" streaming in its entirety here.

"I MADE HIM SNEEZE."

I'm not an unfriendly person, but, as far as my auditioning, I'm not overly gregarious.
In fact, I kind of hate that schmoozy bullshit that, people keep insisting, is all a necessary part of the business.
What this means is that, if someone talks to me in an audition, I'll talk to them; I won't schmooze or shill or anything like that, I'll talk to them. If some random guy who I'm in direct competition with starts talking to, seemingly, no one and listing how great he's doing and all the stuff he's booking and blah blah blah, trying, poorly, to psyche the other auditioners, I'll quietly roll my eyes and trash him here or write a script and trash him there.
All this to say that I don't talk a whole lot at auditions.
So.
Today, I had an audition at a place I'm more than familiar with and where I have booked a handful of pretty nice jobs. I've also gotten to know the guy that runs the place (Roger) and we have a genuine rapport (as opposed to that typical bullshit everyone always says at every audition...or at least I think I do, he might just be really good at making folks think so*). At the end of the audition, which went all right, I guess, Roger sneezed as I opened the door to the waiting room. There was a little silence, and, as I was heading to my seat to collect my headphones and coat, I suddenly yelled at the room full of guys waiting to audition: "I MADE HIM SNEEZE. I DID. AND IF ANY OF YOU WANT THIS JOB YOU'D FUCKING BETTER MAKE HIM SNEEZE TOO. WHAT?"
Then I left.
It felt pretty great.

Have a good night.











* I have always been...and shall remain, a boiling cauldron of equal parts explosive self-confidence and soul-parching insecurity...behold...an actor!

I Am An Idiot

After too little sleep last nighty and a full day today (booking from 10 to 1, then an audition from 1:30 to 2, then awful, awful work), I have made a very poor life choice.
As I left my booking this morning, I found that Hannah from TransPerfect had sent me a script that needed to be recorded by tomorrow at 6 pm. It's about 6000 words on about 30 pages and is estimated at about three hours of work (word count plus something equals about how long it should take me). The rate would be exactly one tenth of what I had made earlier that morning for the exact same amount of time.
So, I called Hannah, who is totally awesome and sweet and said that, for this amount of job, there's no way I could take what they were offering. She said she totally understood and was able to free up more money for me.
Because I really do love TransPerfect and the folks that work there, as well as the fact that these aren't auditions, these are people asking for me and then paying me, I agreed to do it.
Later on, I read the script.

I am a stupid, stupid idiot.
The script is an eLearning module about Dell's Cloud.
Everything. About. Dell's. Cloud.
The words...they're all words I know, but I've never used half of them and certainly not in the same sentence as each other.
When the fuck am I ever going to say the words "infrastructure" or "virtualization" or "Rationalization/Modernization and Application Migration" (although that last one has a horrid musicality to it)?
Well, I will tonight.
From about midnight until whenever this load of industry jargon fuckwash is finished.
Good thing the ground isn't covered by slush and the pipes aren't knocking in my apartment, causing the kind of background noise that will knock me out of my groove which is going to be incrdibly hard to find with a script this fucky.
Oh, fuck, I'm an idiot.

When (if?) I finish this load of blibber, I might post some, just so you can hear how fucking awesome and professional I am.
Because, no mater HOW much this will kill me (and, friends, it will kill me), in the end, you will think, not only, that I know what in the fuck I'm talking about, but that I'm totally engrossed and entertained by it.

In conclusion.
Fuck.
I'm fucked.

Target Aquired...Me. Target Acquired Me To Do Some Radio Commercials.

WHAT AREN'T YOU GETTING?
GAWD!
But, yes, I am excited to say I'm not just making this up and even more excited to inform you that one of the scripts I'll be recording is about bacon.
Bacon: The Food of Joy.
And it is delightfully, sexily over the top, a state in which I reside, at all times, hence my oft overused hyperbole.
Is there a regular, non-hyper bole?
I'm going to check...

Hm.
According to dictionary.com it's the stem or trunk of a tree.
Hm.

Well, that makes absolutely no fucking sense...
Assholes.

Anyway, yeah, one's about bacon, and one is about popcorn chicken and the third is about tomatoes...but I haven't read that one yet.
I'll do that now!!!

Okay, the tomato one is pretty funny too.
And ALL THIS came from my superhot home studio set up.
WOO!
That's on Wednesday, and, tomorrow, I have an audition for audible.com which sounds kind of bland, but, perhaps I can bring some sizzle.
Because that...is what I do...bring sizzle.
Would you like some sizzle?
:::call me:::

In other news, Hurricane Sandy did nothing to affect me.
Nothing.
It's getting to the point where I am starting to feel guilty about telling people this because so many have been totally fucked by this thing.
But, yeah, nothing.
We had some rain.
And my pizza place wasn't delivering.

Skipping the rest of that; the Halloween party was a success, even though about a quarter to a third of the people there were either friends of friends or friends of friends of friends.
All good people all having good fun.

Special shout out to Fitzy for opening and then pretty much closing the festivities despite knowing a total of two people at the whole thing.
And also for letting me call her "Fitzy".
Say it alud, it's awesome!*
FITZYYY!!!!
Love it.

Jen and I are still carving our way through the zombie (and J'Avo) hoards in Resident Evil 6. We're two final chapters (Leon/Helena's and Jake/Sherry's) away from the "end"**. All in all, I think hearing all that negative shit about the game before I played it helped me to get over it, that, and the fact that a lot of it was just whining about nothing. I will say that split screen is balls for someone with eye problems and the plethora of insta-kill moments get real old, real quick, but, other than those shitty patches, the game has been great, and the complaint that they "tried to put too much into this game" is fucking stupid.
VIDEOS GAMES SHOULD BE A LONG TERM INVESTMENT AS FAR AS ENTERTAINMENT GOES.
That's like complaining about having TOO MANY ORGASMS during intercourse.
Idiots.
So, hopefully, in the near future, Jen and I will wrap this up and find out what in the blue fuck is going on.

But not next Sunday...because I'm seeing the new Bond movie.
And, the day before THAT, I'll be five feet from my apartment, seeing Eugene Mirman and some comics who aren't Eugene Mirman at P.S. 1.

Feeling rambly.
Would like to go home now.

I should have Resident Evil: Damnation waiting for me.
If it is anything like Resident Evil: Regeneration...well, it's going to be unworthy of comment.
Then, once that is out of my house, I shall start getting Community, as everyone in the world has seen it and loves it and shut up I'm going to fucking watch it.

Chris and I recently watched Young Adult, which was...all right, I suppose. Both Charles Thorn and Patton Oswalt did a great job with what they were given, but they weren't given a whole bunch.
The plot focuses around a chick who had a thing with a dude in high school, but as soon as she sees that he's had a kid and is happy with his wife she goes back and tries to "free" him from the relationship.
Has this actually happened to people?
Who would do that?
Then again, who would do space docking?
Enough people that it has a name, so, moving on.

The ignorant wangbanger that has STILL remained here at the Hospital like a tiny clot of feces stuck in one's ass hair is always talking about martial arts.
All the time.
Like he is a master of the arts or something.
He's a fubsy, 50-something, bald Latino guy.
I'd like to hire a ninja to come and kick his ass so I can hear him talk about how exquisite his style was when he inevitably calls his moron, subhuman friend to talk about it.
Ugh.
These guys are so ratty. The way they talk and relate to the world and their voices and the stuff they talk about...just...ugh.
Dog farts.
Those guys are dog farts.
And the one dude's voice sounds like a Yoda made of scabs.
Like, imagine if Yoda was slightly retarded and had a thicker, rougher voice.
This assbag sounds like that.
And every thirty seconds he snorts snot back up his nose rather than blowing it like a human.
Ugh.
The fact that I haven't burned these bastards to death speaks volumes about just how tolerant and loving I am.
But that fact that I think and talk about doing so so often probably does not.

Oh! That's something the fucking hurricane did! I was going to hang with Phil and get him on my fucking podcast b ut shit got so fucked up that it never happened.
Fuckballs.
What a bitch.
Sandy, not Phil.
Phil is eyes deep in editing hell and it's all his fault. Three books in three months...what kind of psycho enters into that Devil's Pact?!
LUDICROUS!!!
MAD LUDICROUSNESS!!!

All right.
It's 10:45.
Fuck off.









*But you MUST say it like a jocular uncle opening his arms to hug a well-loved nephew he hasn't seen for years.

**The fourth and final campaign...Ada Wong's.

End of the Month Music Bitchfest - October 2012

Eels

POSTED ON THE OFFICIAL EELS WEB SITE:

10/19/12: Hi.

HE'S NOT DEAD!!!!!
WOOOOOOO!!!!!

And, if that wasn't exciting enough (which it TOTALLY was), on October 22nd, a BRAND NEW EELS ALBUM WAS ANNOUNCED!!!!
It's called Wonderful, Glorious* and is slated for release on February 5th, 2013.
Here is a link to the full album write-up from the official web site.

Below is the cover art and track list.

01  bombs away
02  kinda fuzzy
03  accident prone
04  peach blossom
05  on the ropes
06  the turnaround
07  new alphabet
08  stick together
09  true original
10  open my present
11  you're my friend
12  i am building a shrine
13  wonderful, glorious

I am...SO unutterably happy a.) that E is not dead and b.) that, after his first contact with the outside world in OVER A YEAR, three days later, he drops a track list, cover art and a release date. Boom. THAT, my friends, is how it's fucking done. None of this cryptic, blurry image, "I'm very excited to be working on something I can't tell you about ever and you won't hear for a decade and which might not even be real but would be really cool if it was but anyway it's due out in 2022 for sure maybe unless I have two fucking kids" bullshit.
Fucking boom.
I'll see you in February, E.
I look forward to two singles and a music video before then.
PRAISE JESUS! E IS NOT DEAD!!!!

Aaaaand, speaking of the aforementioned cryptic, blurry, etc. etc. bullshit...


Nine Inch Nails

Something. Is actually. Finally. Happening.
And I'm going to mercilessly criticize it and tear it down because it isn't exactly what I want, when I want it.
Let's do this.

First off, some Trenty Reznory business.

On October 16th, Trent posted the following on his Facebook page:

Some of you may have read that I have begun working with Beats By Dre. For the past year I have indeed been involved with Dre, Jimmy Iovine, Luke Wood, and the rest of the team on a number of very interesting projects that will start to emerge next year. I have been wanting to experiment and focus my energy and creativity in some different directions, and Beats has afforded me that very opportunity. The process has been challenging and fascinating and as much as I'd like to tell you about the things we've dreamed up... I just can't. 

Not yet...

(I can tell you it's probably not what you're expecting!)

Great.
Another nebulous, potentially non-existent thing to look forward to and then ask about in twelve years only to have Reznor smile knowingly and say "soon" to. WHY are you teasing things THIS FAR OUT?! If you have no details to share, fucking keep your god damn mouth shut!! Remember that Year Zero HBO mini-series he was working on? Since 2007? No? THAT'S BECAUSE IT DOESN'T EXIST ANYMORE.

We'll all be long dead before any Nine Inch Nails/Dre collabo drops.
Truth.


And now, here's a little fuckrant I've entitled: How to destroy expectations_ "A fuckrant_"

On October 8th, Zane Lowe's ridiculous show over on BBC 1 debuted a brand new How to destroy angels_** track from their upcoming EP, "An omen EP_"***, entitled, "Keep it together".
While I enjoy the textures and the juxtaposition between the thudding, sludgy bass swamp and Mariqueen's glassy, almost birdlike voice, it reminds me of both "BBB" and "The Believers", and I wish it had kept evolving rather than just repeating the middle of itself.
And that's all I'm saying about the song.****
You can watch what might be the most exciting music video ever for "Keep it together" here.*****
Reznor also had a little phone chat with Lowe, during which Zane practically begging Reznor to reveal anything, which he did not.
But...what could he possibly reveal that we can't intuit from his signing with Columbia?
Now that he is back on a major label, a whole lot of mystery has been removed from HTDA.
When you are independent, you can release a song, video or entire album with, literally, no notice whatsoever.
You update your site with a link, then post on Twitter that "fans should probably head over to whatever.com for a surprise", and I fucking LOVE that freedom. I LOVE being surprised by stuff like that and Reznor LOVES doing it.
But, now he's back on a label...
The biggest downsides I can see that come with signing to a major label, from a fan's perspective, are the time between "this album is done" and "here is the album" and also the rigidity of the release schedule. The release schedule for the new HTDA album, coming in "early 2013", was probably written down and signed  and approved by dozens of people not even tangentially associated with the creation of the band or the music, months ago.
The release cycle officially began a few weeks ago with the announcement of the EP and the official website update.
From this point on, everything is on rails and has a date next to it.

Image #4 (wires and soundboard w/microphone):
to be posted no later than 00:00:00 EST 10/11/12

           Dave Sitek remix of "Keep it together":
    to be posted no later than 15:19:00 EST 10/18/12

    In-studio video clip #2 feat. sound loop B    (w/Mariqueen's fingernails):
    to be posted no later than 00:00:00 EST 11/02/12

Etc.
And, you remember back in July when Reznor said "we are doing a different type of distribution this time so it's taking a bit longer to coordinate stuff"?
Well.
Get ready to have your brains exploded from the backs of your heads.
The day after its debut on BBC 1 and their official website and Pitchfork and YouTube and everything else...one could purchase this song in a format called "mp3" from an Internet store front called Amazon.com...
I'll give you a second to recover, catch your breath and all that.
That's right, Trent Reznor/Nine Inch Nails/How to destroy angels_/ultra-innovative, bleeding edge music distribution technology fans! The future is...when was Amazon.com founded? 1997? 1995?
The future is 1995!!!!
*sigh*
As I said before: you aren't going to reinvent the wheel of music distribution here, so just get the music to the people that want to hear it.
As much as I enjoy HTDA and NIN and Reznor and all that, I do grasp that this is NOT for everybody. Honestly, who saw one of those clips with the big fuzzy guitar noise or the menacing buzzy thing or the disinterested looking dude playing bass and was like, "this, THIS is what I've been waiting for!!!"?
And, even if they did, they saw it, did some searching on the Internet and then discovered that this cool sound loop is indicative of something not coming out for over a year!
I don't know...Reznor just seems to be fighting himself when it comes to all this release date calenderization.
It's a shitty place for an artist: either you're indie and get all the freedom in the world, including the freedom to have no one hear your music EVER or you lock in with a huge, dying, cash-hemorrhaging record label staffed with people that see you as ink on a spreadsheet but who will get you interviews with the hottest new MTV VJ there is...and you STILL might end up not having anyone listen to your shit!
This is why I only make/release really bad stuff, because, that way, I'll never have to worry about any of this bullshit.

Anyway.
The new How to destroy angels_ EP, "An omen EP_"****** is set for release no later than 00:00:00 11/13/12.
Make sure to check it out, or they won't shift any units and the grandad robots will powder their eggs into chicken baskets what?


Beck

Beck did a remix (although this is so much more than a remix) of Philip Glass' "NYC: 73-78" which "includes snippets from more than 20 Glass songs, which (he) cut together and re-imagined". It's over 20 minutes long and it's one of the reasons I still haven't written this space case motherfucker off. You can check it out here. It's pretty amazing.

And, he announced recently that artists "known and unknown" would be recording the twenty songs off his new "album", Song Reader.
Not him though.
Never him.


They Might Be Giants

Nothing on the music front (unless you count the fact that I got the two superspecialexclusive IFC vinyls converted to .wavs...and I do. With their next vinyl mailing thrown in alongside the 2011 and other 2012 musical offerings, there's actually going to be about an albums worth of completely original TMBG music for those in the IFC. Worth. The money.), but there has been some movement on the Pizza Front.
Which is a thing.
I just made up.
So, do any of you recall that I shot, directed and starred in a They Might Be Giants video for their song "Can't Keep Johnny Down"?
Of course you don't. Neither did fucking John Hodgman.
Hang on.
*breath*
Okay, so They Might Be Giants put up a contest to make your own video for their new single. The grand prize winner would receive a thousand dollars and a pizza from John Hodgman, as he was to be the sole judge of said contest. Long story short, I was chosen by Hodgman as one of the runners up ("Best Use of Polaroids") and I was to receive a free t-shirt from TMBG and a free pizza from John Hodgman. The contest ended in July of 2011. I have yet to receive my pizza. I've tweeted Hodgman and he told me to e-mail him. I emailed him and he never responded. I e-mailed him again, and he continued to not respond. Jump forward to about a week ago.
I figure, since they thought up the contest and, as a member of the IFC, I have direct access to them, that I should take the matter upstairs, as it were.
So, I explained the situation to Flans and asked if he could do anything.
Guys, I didn't expect anything.
Flans asks me the address of the pizza place and what day I want the pizza.
I told him around 8 pm on Saturday night..
And it did not happen.
I blame both Hodgman and Hurricane Sandy.
But the hurricane is over, Hodgman, and I want my fucking pizza.



In more Trent Reznor related news*******, he, Atticus Ross and Alessandro Cortini remixed a track by Ladytron wannabes, Telepathe, as a favor to Dave Sitek (of TV On The Radio) who is starting his own label, Federal Prism.
I feel bad for Telepathe because everyone is going to check out the TR/AR/AC remix of "Destroyer", then check out their album (coming early next year) and then ignore the album and go back to the remix, wishing all the while that Reznor had produced it.
SO bittersweet...
The Sitek remix (which might serve as the album version, I'm not sure) is pretty good, but Reznor and friends' mix is outstanding, starting off kind of annoying with metallic blips backing up the bland vocals, and then evolving into something that Telepathe will never be on their own.
Anyone who has heard and enjoyed the Girl With The Dragon Tattoo score will dig this version a lot.
I'll keep an ear out for their upcoming stuff but don't be surprised if I never refer to these girls again.
Sorry.
Also, you misspelled "telepath".
Or "telepathy".

Marilyn Manson has a new video out for "Hey, Cruel World" that is sort of an ad for his tour I suppose?
It's a lot of live footage and close ups of him sticking his fingers in his mouth which, hopefully, he washed before this shoot because I honestly can't think of anything dirtier than Marilyn Manson's hands. Nothing really interesting going on, but there are some cool masks.

Next, the brand new tweaker album, Call The Time Eternity, came out on the 23rd.
You can read the review of this disappointing release here.

And, finally, thanks to Christina, I have been listening to Maximum Balloon, an collaboration between TV On The Radio's Dave Sitek and a bunch of folks, including Little Dragon and the rest of TVOTR. There is a lot of really great stuff on there, like "Tiger", which has the energy and boogie of a Prince song, "The Lesson" which is melodic, dark and hot, and "Apartment Wrestling", which must have been recorded during/right before the Love This Giant sessions, because it's SO David Byrne from Love This Giant that...aw man it's awesome. It came out in 2010 and somehow we missed it until just now, but we're happy to have it in our ears.

And, totally finally for real, I picked up the Philip Glass remix album (Rework) where that cool Beck thing is from, just today, October 31st, so I may or may not have something to say about that next month.
I don't really know much about Glass except for the fact that he likes notes to go up and down fast and frequently, so this could be an enlightening and confusing experience for me.
And.
That's it.





* Which has to be good because naming it as such opens it up for a lot of mockery if it isn't.

** Again, that's "How to destroy angels_", not "How To Destroy Angels". Because capitalizing all the letters at the beginning of each of the words in your band name and not have underscores is decidedly UN-indie. Make a note, assholes.

*** Ugh, fucking get over yourselves.


**** I can feel both your surprise and relief. You're welcome.

***** Slightly more exciting music video here.

****** Already done with this weird spelling/typeface bullshit...

******* One song and one remix?! This is a motherfucking avalanche of Trent Reznor!!!!

Me and S. Pellegrino: We Cool/The World Premiere of Unker & Physia

So.
Some weeks ago, I was told I had an audition. The day before the audition, I received an e-mail stating the client had cancelled the audition. The morning of the audition, I was told it was back on and was asked if I could get there within the hour. Since I was already in the neighborhood and since I really like the production place and the people at the production place where it was being held (Hobo audio), I went. I thought it went well, the folks at Hobo thought it went well, I left feeling pretty okay and then thought nothing of it.

A few days later, I was put on hold for the recording, which was to take place two days later. Two days later, I was put on hold for the following two days. And two days after that, I was put on hold for two days the next week. And then, at the start of that next week, I was informed that the project was not going to happen.

Three weeks later, I was informed that I had booked said gig for yesterday, Wednesday, and then, minutes later, that the booking had been moved from Wednesday to today, from 10 am to 2 pm.

During all this, I had not asked what the rate was, mainly because if I didn't book it and it was a lot of money, I'd be bummed.
Or course, on the other side of that, there was a chance I would book it, and it would be paltry.
After my manager confirms and reconfirms with me that we are, in fact, 1000%, recording today, I ask what the rate is.
Paltry.
For me.
After bitching at Chris about not being given enough money to talk*, she suggests I call my manager and see if I can get more money.
Hm.
That is what managers do in the movies...
So I call him and say, look, they have me booked from 10 am to 2 pm and, when you break down the fee to an hourly rate, it's almost insulting AND they've been jerking us off for about three weeks, changing the hold, cancelling the project, rescheduling the hold etc.
He says that he agrees with me and that he'll see what he can do.
This morning, I wake at 9:20 and get ready to head out to Hobo. I check my e-mail and find that my manager has gotten the clients to almost double my fee.
Hot.

I arrive at Hobo and jump in the booth. The engineer does some magic, and suddenly I can hear three or four random voices speaking Italian in my headphones like a river full of sunlight.
Italian is such a beautiful language...
They tell me this version of the script, the English version, is all about trying to describe what it's like to be an Italian (the good parts). They play the Italian spot and it's fabulous, this guy sounds amazing, so passionate, so sexy, yow.
I tell them that English will never be able to express what that guy had just said as beautifully as him, but that I would do my best.
Eventually, we record; I turn on the hot buttered sex voice that they NEED to get their Vespas going and, after six takes, we're done.
One of them said, "motto bene" and I nearly squeaked.
They said, "Grazie!", I said "Grazie!"
They said, "Ciao!", I said, "Ciao!"
It was...motto bene.

Then, as I was scheduled to come back to Hobo at 1:40 for an audition, I asked if I could do it now, if it wasn't a problem (it was not yet 11 am).
It wasn't a problem and I was led into a different studio where the head of Hobo and all-around awesome guy, Howard, gave me the breakdown and ran the session.
Afterwards we talked a bit, specifically about if he knew the hobo-centric works of John "Pizza Miser" Hodgman. He said yes and that he had, in fact, contacted Hodgman about maybe doing a promo or something for Hobo audio, and that Hodgman never got back to him. I told him about my pizza dilemma and he suggested I make a YouTube video a la "United Breaks Guitars" and get that goddamned pizza.
And I just may.

Anyway, all this to say that today, while long, was pretty great and that San Pellegrino and I are cool once again.
It's alllll bene.

Tomorrow is yet another early and long day, during which I will be shooting the final episode of the first "season" of Unker & Physia. Thank Jebus we're shooting just down the street from my house...I might have time to shower before work...
This has been quite a roller coaster ride, but, last night's screening went very well, a full house full of people happy to be there and happy to see Jess and I being wonderful.
Afterwards, we went to a nearby drinking place where I had a subpar burger and some amazing conversation with Dave Ratura, Rachel Goulet, Gia (and her uncircumcised friend, Alex) and Fitzy. Dave and I need to create something...something...horrible...
He promised me that he'll watch Human Centipede 2 and then call me.
Big, huge, mad props to Chris who had to sit between Dave and I as we talked about the more gruesome details of Human Centipede 1. I can only be thankful that had yet to see the second film.

It was a really fantastic night and I'm so happy people were able to make it out and share in this thing we've been creating over the past months.
There is a lot more to come, so keep your eyes and ears open.









* I know, I know, "Go fuck yourself."

A review of tweaker's "Call The Time Eternity"

Angry.
And sad.
Angry and sad.
Not how the latest (but not last, according to a recent post from tweaker's Twitter account) tweaker album sounds, but rather how I feel with regards to the latest tweaker album, Call The Time Eternity.
Angry, because it's been eight years since the dark, beautiful and almost perfect 2 a.m. Wakeup Call was released, which utterly blew away tweaker's strong yet unfocused debut album, The Attraction To All Things Uncertain.
Eight years that saw Chris Vrenna chained to the stinking, sinking poop ship that was Marilyn Manson.
Eight years waiting for this album.
And sad because I really, really, really wanted this to be an amazing piece of art; the continued evolution of tweaker, the next step, sonically, thematically, musically, lyrically...but it is absolutely nothing of the sort.

Ponygrinder
The fact that "Ponygrinder" is a strong opener makes the rapid decline and collapse of the rest of the album even more bitter. Although, it isn't even that strong. It sounds like the background for an awesome Nine Inch Nails remix...from the late 90's. I do really love the "there are no more destinations" sample and there are some really cool sounds in this, but they get reused again and again without anything significant added to the mix so that by the time it's done, I was almost relieved. Not a great feeling to have at the start of an album...

Nothing At All
But, the end of the first track inevitably brings about the beginning of the second track. I'm not going to take the snarky, easy joke about how there was "nothing at all" I liked in this track, because that would be a lie. I love the sound of it and the sounds in it, I love the call back to "Happy Child" from the first album, I love thinking that maybe this woman is the object of obsession that Will Oldham was singing about in that song, but all this is completely undone by Jessicka Addams horrible talksinging. Talksinging, in general, is awful, but her overly affected "little tough girl" voice is so insanely annoying that I was, honest to God, having trouble finishing the song. The only problem with this song is its vocals (and the "isn't it cool how I made these drums sound superloud" effect). If this had been an instrumental, true, the call back would have been less direct and effective, but it would certainly be less obnoxious. And, just to be clear, I'm not saying I don't like the way Jessicka Addams sings, I listen to a lot of bands with annoying lead vocalists; I'm just saying I wish she weren't singing on this.

A Bit Longer Than Usual
Aside from the bridge and a few of the ingredients tossed into this sonic scrapple, this sounds like something you'd assemble with the basic loop pack that comes with Acid. It sounds like a demo song: something soulless and uninteresting used to advertise music editing software. And this crushes me.

Areas Of The Brain
"Brains" starts off great (there I go, getting my hopes up again) but takes a shockingly sad and disappointing turn as soon as the vocals kick in. WHY ARE THE VOCALS ON THIS ALBUM SO SHODDY?! THE FIRST TWO WERE PERFECT FITS!!! Sorry. Anyway. The laughing is not scary. It's not creepy. It's not unnerving. It sounds forced and ridiculous. Once again: TALKSINGING IS NOT GOOD. EVER. NO. Even when you're trying to sound like Maynard James Keenan.

Hoarding Granules
"Hoarding Granules" is really and truly an interesting track. It's made up of what sounds like aural found footage and has a great mood. At times the samples or vocals or whatever you want to cal them  feel a bit overwrought, they still kind of work. Great sound on this.

Getting Through Many A Bad Night
This has a good beat, very engaging. It reminds me why Chris Vrenna got his start programming and drumming and remixing for Nine Inch Nails. Though I do not love the samples. This is almost a good track, but it feels like it's missing something...something intangible...is it vocals or more instrumentation or...but, before I can think of what, it ends. Hm. Fine. Never mind.

Grounded
Finally...FINALLY: A track on which the vocals WORK. More than that, they're perfect; they reflect so exactly just how damaged the track feels and how the album should feel but does not. kaRIN sounds a bit like Claudia Sarne from 12 Rounds but less abrasive. Great ending with that glitchy guitar and beat.

This Is Ridiculous
This one, which reminds me of something by Cut Chemist, might be my favorite track on here. Well done, Mr. Vrenna. Bouncy, high energy and then things get weird and it sounds like Aphex Twin covering "Microsized Boy" from Attraction. Then the fun comes back with some great stuff floating in the background. Ends too abruptly, I could have enjoyed it more...

I Don't Care Anymore
Look, I know this is a cover so I don't know if I should blame Phil Collins for making it or Chris Vrenna for remaking it...wait, yes I do. I blame Vrenna as this is his album. I think my biggest problem is Jesse Hall's voice. Same problem with "Movement of Fear", the worst track from their previous album. This was a weird choice that didn't really work for me.

Wasted Time
Great bass on this. Upright and...not...upright. Nice beat. The deep rumbles offer a nice juxtaposition to the bleeps. The typewriter is a nice addition for long time tweaker fans and, I'll be honest, made me smile. Very nice. This makes me wonder if maybe Vrenna should have had more organic instruments on CTTE... Maybe on some of those remixes he keeps talking about...? The talking here is a little better although I'm not sure how I like the album's vaguely ethereal, vaguely sinister title just being thrown out there, sans context. I'd have liked it to have been part of a longer passage. This, too, ends sooner than it should.

Fine
Nice creepy siren here and great bass once again, but then...guess what comes along and ruins it? If you guessed talksinging, well, you get a donut...no, you get my copy of Call The Time Eternity. Aside from the rambling, shouting, blathering voices, this track also feels threadbare. Almost like Vrenna forgot to unmute a track or two before rendering it... Solid drums though*.  Oh, and just tossing in the sound from the end of the first album does not a reference make, what it does make is a huge fan who's waited almost a decade and who was really looking forward to an amazing follow up to your last album angry and sad.

Which brings this sad, angry train to its sad, angry halt. I'm so bummed. So, so bummed. The album isn't awful. There is some new and interesting ground being broken here and some truly great, stand out tracks, two or three anyway ("Grounded" and "This Is Ridiculous" are really all that jump to mind)...but nothing comes close to 2 a.m. Wakeup Call. This is an unworthy follow up to that opus; a themeless, unfocused collection of songs which, for the most part, have awful vocalists and seem to be missing key elements. Plus, "Nothing At All" is a direct reference to the first album, which creates a nice sense of continuity and cohesiveness, but, aside from that one track and that lazy "reference" at the end of "Fine", there's nothing else. It just feels...unfinished, I suppose. Unfinished and muddled, and not in an intentional way.
This feels like a step back to the themelessness of the first album, but without the novel and inventive sounds to alliviate that lack of focus.
What else can I say?
Angry and sad.

Note: Today, October 23rd, is the release date of the new tweaker album, and yet, Amazon.com isn't going to ship the album until November 6th-12th. Because of a "database error", according to Metropolis Records. So, that makes things better. Also, Vrenna stated earlier today that the album's theme is "manicness". Ah, of course, "manicness". So that's why it sounds so unfocused. Nice try, Chris.







* Although I really shouldn't have to keep pointing that out...side projects created by drummers SHOULD, at its lowest points, have solid drums, and, at its highest points, blistering, astonishing, facemelting drums.**

** Or no drums. Just to freak people out and get away from the "drummer" branding.

Let's Get Sloughy!

Slough.
Fistula.
Rectourethral.

These were this weeks' buzz words here at the Hospital with Jen. I believe all three can be made sexy if spoken huskily enough, a task I am more than happy to accept.

...fiiistulaaa...

I believe that "slough" is the most disgusting onomatopoetic word there is, although I'd be happy to discuss this.
No?
All right then.

I've had THREE acts of Subway fuckery in THREE days and I'm ready to fill the tunnels with the screams of the children of those that run the MTA. And each time they broke it off in me, I was in a car full of their self-aggrandizing, "cute" ads for how great they are and how smoothly things run because of them.
Oh such rage...such impotent, impotent rage...
How is it that I have NEVER, ONCE had a Subway meltdown?
More often than not, I'm pressed against some unwashed fucktard, covered in sweat and told by some chipper robot that "You're going to be fifteen minutes late just because! Eat a dick and then pay us $100 a month for the privilege and the pleasure, cuntface!"
Hm.
Maybe, all this rage I've been swallowing my whole life is what has made me so tall.
I'm made of rage.
Awesome.

Moving on, the last three days (technically two days, but it was going to be three days) have been thick.
Wednesday at 9:15 in the morning (which can be converted to 3:15 in the morning for everyone with a 9 am to 5 pm job) I had to rise and be acting until I then went to work. Which was awful. Then, that evening, I carried out my second digressive_obscenity recording with Will, which went excellent after a ten or fifteen minutes false start due to shitty audio, but, aside from having a great session, I have now figured out how to patch in anyone with an iPhone, thus solving the problem of interviewing anyone who isn't in the room with me. Once November rolls around and my schedule clears a bit, I'll focus on DO and really get things swinging. I spent the past few days working on some transitional music and also on creating some art for the podcast, mostly with some glitch art apps. Some really cool looking stuff coming soon.

The next morning I was up early for an audition that well very well...no...an audition at which I, personally, sounded really good. Yeah. So, we'll see.

Then, I was to be up hella early this morning to shoot the FINAL episode of Unker & Physia after rerecording some stuff for TransPerfect on my home rig as well as some silly audition of Target, but, thanks to rain, I slept about ten hours.
Which I needed.
It's hard to be good at acting with such little sleep...
And now the only day we have left to shoot that final episode is the day that I might be booked to record something, so...fuck.

All right, enough of that.

Yesterday, the new tweaker album, call the time eternity, was posted on Revolver's web site and last night I listened to it.
And now I'm really sad.
I'm going to spend more time with it, maybe try a headphones/versus speakers comparison but...yeah, as of right now, I'm really sad.
God damn it.

This weekend will be spent killing the shit out of some more zombies (but only for a fraction of the time spent killing the shit out of zombies a few weeks ago), and finishing the decorations for the Halloween party. I think, for ONCE, Chris and I will have this thing ready before the actual party begins next Saturday.

Then, on the 30th, I shoot my stuff for the pilot of Becca's webseries, then two days of rehearsal for Electromagnetic Theater (radio show/podcast thing) then two days of recording that weekend.

Then, I am fucking done.

Nothing to deal with except for my wedding.
Oh.
Oh shit.

Just kidding, it's going to be awesome and Save the Dates just went out so that's all good.
Again, cannot wait for my schedule to clear up.

Go.
Be free.

Some Movies I've Watched Recently

This post is about rough, throbbing, wet sex.

Just kidding, it's about some movies I've watched recently.

First, I finally watched Super 8, and, aside from admiring the solid child actors, I really didn't give much of a shit about it. Who knew that Spielberg and Abrams would make such a bland pudding?

Next, Chris and I watched Cronenberg's Videodrome, which I had never seen.
Wow.
Wowy wowy wow.
Cronenberg.
W the fuck.
This man can get your attention and hold it, I will say that. He can also provide a juicy bag of nightmares for anyone who watches his films. I was saddened to hear that his latest film was a wash.  I'm probably going to take another look at Existenz as I remember it was pretty awesome. And maybe Crash. The good one. With the leg-wound coitus.
Also, how did the FCC not have a problem with Dave Matthews saying repeatedly in the 90's that he wanted to "come into" that woman? I mean...that's pretty racy. They censored the word "gun" in music from the 90's, but you're allowed to come into people?
What up, double standard?
And speaking of Dave Matthews, have you noticed that his songs are all about fucking or drugs or murder? I saw him in concert with Will on his tour supporting "Before These Crowded Streets" and neither of us knew what the big deal with having his violinist sing was. We didn't pay for that. Play your fucking violin.

Put in a lot of work on Unker & Physia this morning before work. Re shot some stuff that got messed and then did a bunch of bumpers and little things that turned out pretty great. The final U&P shoot for a while is set for Friday morning...if we can find that special lady...the lady that Unker is going to fall in love with...
After the shoot this morning, work. I'm going to have to face the shattering fact that, not only is Jen going to be gone from this place in a matter of weeks, but that she is never going to work here because of some really horrible people she has come into contact with. One really horrible person anyway.
And it isn't me.
Asshole.
Once I get home (in about an hour or so), the second digressive_obscenity podcast shall be recorded.
This time it is one of my best friends, Will (the guy I saw the DMB with).
I'm going to do my best to have this be something that he is proud to have his full name on.
Well...not proud.
But at least he won't plead for anonymity, as with BTR.
Oh, shit, BTR...
I forgot to mention that Andy Omega (one half of the Bookend Tiger Radio Dynamic Duo) has up and fucking moved from the L.A. to the N.Y.C.! So, this means two things: one, there will be a delay in the posting of my return to BTR and, two, the next bunch of BTR will be recorded at my very own DO studios...maybe. Fingers crossed.
Mofo visits New York for a week then pulls up stakes and freaking moves here.
I love his balls.
No homo.

Done.

A review of tweaker's "2 a.m. Wakeup Call"

While Chris Vrenna has said the concept of 2 a.m. Wakeup Call was birthed from his wife's battle with insomnia, I think it comes from falling asleep under a broken, malfunctioning clock, as there seems to be a massive one lurking just behind and underneath and, sometimes, intertwined with each and every song on the album.

Ruby
The album starts brilliantly with Will Oldham's quavering, almost childlike voice reflecting on the subjects of dreams and sickness and how "the color of his dreams, if he had dreams, would be you, ruby" over a simple guitar that explodes at the chorus, only to retreat momentarily before once again exploding, this time accompanied by Oldham screaming at the top of his lungs.
This first track, "Ruby", sets the tone perfectly for the journey into dreams and nightmares the listener is about to embark upon.


Cauterized
All right. From the first time I heard this track, I wanted it to be the theme to a new, darker animated Batman series. The series from the mid to late 90's is timeless and works perfectly with its full orchestral score, but "Cauterized" would be perfect for a less stylized, more realistic Batman cartoon.
Hm.
All right, I just "said" the words "a more realistic Batman cartoon".
Okay, forget everything I've said about this track thus far and just picture Batman kicking some dudes asses when it plays. There. Leave me alone.

Worse Than Yesterday
Depression = sleep
This seems to be about that. Maybe it was raining when the sleeper fell asleep. Everything feels slowed, gelled. Etc.

Truth Is
Easily the biggest name associated with tweaker, Robert Smith, was made for this track...or, much more likely, this track was made for him. His overly dramatic delivery fits so well with the hyperbole and pathological lies that make up the lyrics. And that bass? Feel it in your chest...damn! So slinky and durty...just right for the tone of this track. And the nonchalance and glee with which Smith confesses at the end of the song? Brilliant.


Remorseless
"Remorseless" sounds like the EKG for some dark, slumbering disco robot monster...or perhaps an alarm alerting us that said dark, slumbering disco robot monster has broken loose from its restraints and has started dancemurdering again. Either way, they had me at dark, slumbering disco robot monster.


Pure Genius
I'd like to base a dramatic television show about a private detective on "Pure Genius". It would be on Fox and only last one season...but it would have a small yet loyal following. The song would also be perfect for a dark and cerebral remake of Ocean's Eleven, maybe directed by Chris Nolan.


It's Still Happening
While Hamilton Leithauser's voice works great with "It's Still Happening" and there's a lot of interesting stuff going on sonically, the track tends to get a bit repetitive. Maybe some more lyrics or another bridge or something would have brought it all the way home, but, what can you do?

2 a.m.
"2 a.m." has some nice ambiance and textures hiding behind, and occasionally getting swallowed up by, the lovely, unassuming acoustic guitar. Perhaps this track is meant for Vrenna's wife, who inadvertently originated the concept for this album. A really excellent aural representation of a dreamscape...and there's that broken clock again.

Movement Of Fear
Ugh. If every masterpiece needs a wet fart, then I suppose that this is it. This sounds less like a "Movement Of Fear" and more like a "Movement of A Gritty, Sad, Scummy, Sticky Titty Bar On The Outskirts of Las Vegas".
It's just so over the top...
"this-is-a-move-ment-of-fear!!!"
Ugh again.
Too much cheese for this to move anywhere.

Sleepwalking Away
After the bowel movement of fear, we have another weak link in the otherwise solid tweaker album, "Sleepwalking Away". Nick Young howling the words "Sleepwalking away! Sleepwalking awaaaaaay!!!" is neither what I expected nor what I wanted from this song. It's especially jarring after (most) everything else on this has been right on the nose. It's incongruous to the point of curiosity. In a nutshell, I think this album, as a whole would have been better without this.


The House I Grew Up In
Things start to get better with the penultimate track, "The House I Grew Up In".

Crude Sunlight
As "Ruby" is the perfect opener, "Crude Sunlight" is the perfect closer. Jennifer Charles' vocals flawlessly capture that languid, syrupy quality of existence on the infinitesimal, vast continent between asleep and  awake while the music, led tenuously forward by a searching, watery piano, sounds just like something one might hear at the tail end of a dream. At times, she chooses veracity over clarity and almost slurs her words, as if you're hearing someone talk in their sleep, and, although you can't always make out exactly what she's saying, the sense of struggling to remember something from a dream, maybe important, maybe not, is always crystal clear.

And then, after a final swelling of sadness: you're awake. Just like that.
The dream is over.
The nightmare is over.
The night is over.

The third and final* tweaker album, call the time eternity, is coming out in exactly one week. I've seen nothing but favorable reviews and, while my hopes are high, Vrenna is really going to have to outdo himself to even come close to knocking 2 a.m. Wakeup Call from its pedestal.
But I'm excited to hear him try.







* Just Tweeted by @tweakermusic: "to clarify 'call the time eternity' may or may not be the last tweaker album. sometimes the end is only the beginning. " A ray of hope..?

building

So Much Stuff

Fucking hell.

Okay...in no particular order...

Chris and I finally finished rewatching Firefly and we're both still confused and angry that there is nothing else*.
After the last episode rolled credits, Netflix suggested that I watch Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog...something I had never seen before**.
Yes, it was great and yes, it was what everyone in the world has already said before, but, what I took away from DHSAB was that, even in a forty-two minute web series with, ostensibly, three characters, Joss Whedon still killed off the most likable character.
And that is pure, fucking hilarity.

This is one of the reasons I enjoyed The Cabin In The Woods so much (aside form the fact that it was 100% amazing), it was a chance for Whedon to get as dark as he wanted to get; no PG-13 or TV Standards and Practices holding him back: a nice, sanguine R.
Don't get me wrong, there are pitch black elements to a lot of Whedon's stuff, which is one of the reasons he's so sought after and lauded, but, imagine a villain like Jubal Early in the next Avengers movie..
Chills.

After those forty two minutes were up and they STILL had not uncancelled Firefly, Netflix suggested something called The Guild, simply because Felicia Day (who I'd never seen before Dr. Blog) was in it. Over the next few days, I proceeded to watch all that, which was mostly great. And then I found out that Will Wheaton (who I'd also never seen before) was a TMBG Super President (shhhh...) like me, at which point I mentioned that fact on Twitter and, to my surprise and delight, got a response from the Wheat Man himself.
Occasionally, I enjoy the Internet.

After the fifth season of The Guild...well, that's where I am now as far as solo TV, although Lisa and Jen and fucking everyone in the world is telling me to watch Community, so I just may do that.

As for the sport of Tandem Television Watching, Chris and I finally started up the fifth season of True Blood, which is exactly what one would expect from the fifth season of True Blood...thus far... I'll say it's kind of heartbreaking to watch the writers desperately trying to get the viewers to give a shit about Terry SO HARD that they have now introduced ifrits to the show.
Whatever.
Flame on.

Chris also bumped a lot of good female comedies (written by and directed by, usually) to the top of our queue and we took in Bridesmaids again which, mostly, held up, and Friends With Kids, which was like an alternate universe version of Bridesmaids because it starred the entire cast of Bridesmaids pretty much, plus Scott Adams and Jon Hamm's wife. I had a few issues with this one: specifically the fact that Scott Adams' character is so smart in it, but he doesn't realize that this chick he's been best friends with for almost two decades has a thing for him. "Help! My emotions are stupid!!!"
Other than that, Jon Hamm continues to amaze me, Maya Rudolph looks like a gargoyle and Chris O'Dowd needs to be in a lot more American stuff. Maybe as Simon Pegg and Nick Frost's brother...?

And then there's Resident Evil 6...

Over this past weekend, I had Lisa and Jen for a sleepover, during which I recorded my first podcast (more on that later), ate more meat than a doctor would agree is healthy for me and played (some of) the fuck out of Resident Evil 6.
Lisa was my navigator/backseat snoozer and Jen was my co-op partner for Jake's first two chapters and Leon's first three chapters; basically about one quarter or so of the game.
Something positive about all these shitty reviews the game has been getting: it really lowers one's expectations and makes the game better.
That, plus I don't think a lot of these reviewers are really correct about a lot of the shit they're slinging.
Yes, the trial and error QTE's and insta-kill areas get frustrating, very much so, but other than that, we enjoyed ourselves quite a bit.
Some of these complaints..."this isn't the same Resident Evil as it was in 1998...", "your characters feel too powerful" and "they put too much stuff in/made the game too big" seem...what's the right word...fucky. These complaints seem fucky.
I look forward to having another sleepover (maybe with more people because I FUCKING LOVE SLEEPOVERS (even though, at one point, my bottom touched the freezer door at the supermarket and my bottom got cold)!!!

Now, for those of you who remember the beginning of that last paragraph, you'll recall that I mentioned my podcast. This is NOT to be confused with my second appearance on the epic, 2.5-billion-listener-strong digital opus that is Bookend Tiger Radio which I recorded last Wednesday, no. I've had an idea kicking around in the back of my head for a while, and I figured that having Lisa and Jen over for a huge amount of time would be a great impetus to upgrade it from idea to reality.
And I did so thusly.
The...episode?...had a nice bookendy quality, seeing as I was talking with my oldest friend and my newest friend.
The idea is pretty straightforward; some basic intro stuff, then a set of questions for the guest(s), then some conversation starters, some guest-specific questions, then the guest(s) has to pick a word that I invented and define it.
We recorded for 94 minutes total and I can probably cut that down to...slightly less than 94 minutes as I honestly believe it was interesting and enjoyable the whole way through and will be enjoyed by others.
Maybe.
One can never fucking tell with the Internet, can they.
No.
But Lisa and Jen did an excellent job with what some might have thought of as an awkward situation.
I have a pretty extensive list of friends I'm planning on interviewing, so if I call you at some point...don't answer your phone unless you'd like to be asked to come on my podcast.
My reasoning behind this whole thing is that, after thirty or so years, I have quite a collection of cool and interesting friends with their own cool and interesting stories/experiences/lives, so why not get to talk with them and get to know them/get random people to know them better?
Although I really have no clue who my audience is or will be...maybe if I interview all my friends, then all my friends will listen, and that's, like, forty people listening!
WOO! INTERNET MONEY!!!***
I'm going to do it up right, with production value and transitional music and all that.
I mean, I have that superdope mic set up and since someone hasn't written any more books for me to narrate...well, I might as well use it for something, yes?
Waste not, haste not, yes?

And, speaking of creative things...while we are still a few days of shooting away from wrapping on my very first web series, Unker & Physia, we are premiering the project on Wednesday the 24th of October at a place in downtown New York City call AI.
Or AI New York City.
You know? Here's the link, go have a look and, if you're around and interested, maybe join us.
Also, "like" the Facebook page, follow us on Twitter (@UnkerAndPhysia) and kiss us if you see us on the streets.
Thanks.

The other web series I'm going to be working on (conceived by Becca Kopec and written by Mary Beth Walsh and Alan Kistler)...some time...which might or might not be titled "My Super(?) Life" or "Superhero(ish)" or something along those lines, shoots on Octobr 30th. The plan is to shoot a pilot and put it up on Kickstarter to raise some funds to shoot the whole series. The writing is snappy as hell and steeped in great female characters and pop/geek culture "out the butthole", as they say in the biz.
I play the Trenchcoat Man.
He wears a trench coat.
Or maybe he doesn't, depending on costume availability and script changes.

Then, there is my upcoming (later this week or perhaps this weekend) reappearance on the most popular and erotic podcast on this here Internet, Bookend Tiger Radio. Since Andy O. was in NYC for the week, we recorded at my studio (digressive_obscenity) and linked Danny D. into my M-Box via a gnarl of cords. The results...well, let's just say that long time BTR listeners will be STUNNED at the quality.
The audio quality at any rate, as there is no discussion of either of the Human Centipede films.
Why even bother listening, right?

THEN, there s Electromagnetic Radio, which is, for lack of a less 1920's term, a radio play. I was hooked up with the director, David, through Becca and auditioned for a few characters last weekend. Turns out he liked my stuff**** and wants to record some stuff at the end of October/beginning of November! Hopefully my schedule will allow for that, because it looks like a fun project, and one where I'll get to talk all different!!
Which I enjoy.

Suddenly, BAM, back to media...the new Bond theme was released a few days ago and, well, although it's super classic, I don't love it. Adele's voice works just fine, but the music doesn't have that "grab you by your balls and make you watch the new Bond movie while somone is grabbing your balls" feel that "You Know My Name" and "Another Way To Die" do.
But perhaps that has something to do with the tone of the film...the first line of "Skyfall" is, after all, "this is the end". And, speaking of "the end", in honor of how fucking excited I am to see the new Bond movie and the fiftieth birthday of James Bond, I am going to wrap up my Bond movie reviews.
You may***** remember the first run I did some years back, but I'm pretty proud of them and only stopped because I had written either one or two more and lost the goddamn paper on which they were written.
Fuck paper though, becaudse now I own a fucking iPad.
I'M SAVIN' MY SHIT TO THE CLOUD, BITCHES!
Below, please find a list of the first batch of Bond movie reviews and the links to the aforementioned Bond movie reviews.
Thanks you.
Thanks you lot.

"From Russia With No"

"Thunderfinger"

"On Her Majesty Only Twice"

"Live And Let Diamonds"

"The Spy Who Loved Gun"

"For Your Moonraker Only"

"An Octopussy To A Kill"

Coming soon:

The Living Kill

Tomorrow Never Eye

The World Is Not Die

Quantum Casino

Two last bits: watched the first half of the last season of Breaking Bad and...my soul hurts.
And, with all the talk of Borderlans 2 being great, I finally got around to popping in my pre-owned copy of Borderlands I bought and never played over a year ago.
I played for several hours and decided that it's like Fallout 3 but without the talented voice work and interesting, engrossing story.
Not planning on playing anymore of this.

There might be more, but I'ma let you finish.














* I'm not counting the movie, not because it wasn't good but because IT'S MY BODY, HOLLYWOOD, MINE.

** Or, to be more precise, I'd seen the first minute, during which NPH does his evil laugh then comments on it and then I decided I wasn't in the mood.

*** Which is not a thing.

**** My butt.

*****Read: don't.

A (sort of) review of Tori Amos' "Gold Dust"

Just as someone cannot (and should/ought not) to review a "best of", I don't feel real great about reviewing Tori Amos' latest release, Gold Dust, so I'll just, sort of, talk about it...occasionally praising or criticizing aspects of it...and then assign it a numerical value out of 10...just kidding...about the "assigning it a numerical value out of 10" thing...not the first part...so...let's just get started...

I've been into Tori's unique and sometimes controversial* sound since I was in high school. Most of it, at least. I tend to either love or ignore songs of hers with very few ever actually growing on me with repeat listens. In fact, there's not one album I can put on and just listen to all the way through, although To Venus and Back (the first disc) and From The Choirgirl Hotel come close. I have always considered myself a fan though (despite that Adult Contemporary phase she went through in the 2000's, give or take American Doll Posse), and I was excited to see the new direction she took with her bold and complex 2011 release, Night of Hunters, which she recorded with ostensibly nothing but her piano and an orchestra. The addition of an orchestra allowed the timeless nature of her music and voice to break free from any contemporary restraints she had gotten tangled up in and it was, I feel, a breath of fresh air that blew open a whole castle full of doors for Tori and her future creative endeavors.
To put it another way: Tori Amos had recontextualized herself as a musician, and nothing is more exciting and intriguing than that.

Gold Dust isn't a "best of". It's a collection of songs from Amos' two-decade career rearranged, rerecorded, reinterpreted and reimagined with the aforementioned orchestral motif. Some, like "Silent All These Years" and "Winter" are among her most well known songs while others, like "Snow Cherries From France" and "Flying Dutchman" are far less popular, but they are all loving recrafted here.
The benefits of the reworking ranges from track to track; with some, like "Yes, Anastasia", the difference is palpable, it sounds massive and historical and fully realized, with others, like "Flavor", the changes are absolutely noticeable and work very well, showing a different side of the song, and, with a few, "Programmable Soda" for instance, the versions are so similar that I barely noticed any difference. Although it's completely her right to do so, Tori did a great job of not trying to reinvent the beautiful wheels she's created over the past twenty years, but rather highlight or enhance different aspects (as with "Cloud On My Tongue" and "Silent All These Years").
Another very interesting element of the Gold Dust versions versus the original versions** is noticing how Tori's perspective seems to change. On "Silent All These Years", we see the girl from the original song reminiscing about her experiences from that time in her life as the woman she has become. The vulnerability of the girl is gone, replaced by the woman who has gotten her voice back. The woman who remembers. This perspective shift adds a lot to this, one of Tori's most beautiful and heartwrenching songs, and also to "Flying Dutchman" (which has recently become one of my favorite tracks of hers), the original version of which feels so carefree and joyous and young. The new version has less of the childish glee and youthful abandon, almost as if the original is Tori as a child and the Gold Dust version is Tori as that child's mother, watching her from a distance.
There are a few tracks I've never really gotten into ("Snow Cherries From France" and "Marianne") which I'd have happily swapped out for a number of others, but I don't really have a problem with any of them. The only track whose reenvisioning I actively do not like is "Jackie's Strength", originally from Choirgirl Hotel. This new version sounds too forced in its reflection, too lacking in the original's vulnerability.
But, again, that is one track of fourteen.

On the whole, every song is given a brand new life or, at least, a new perspective, as a result of this treatment; at the very worst, the new version might seem a bit unnecessary, simply spurring one to want to relisten to the original recording of the song in question, a fact that further speaks to how expert a songwriter Tori Amos is.
If I could have voted or selected more or different songs to be redone, I would have, but I'm incredibly happy, not only at how Gold Dust turned out, but at the simple fact that it exists. I love this approach to older material as a substitute to the typical half-assed and loathsome "best of" collections that artists seem to default to as their careers meander on. To revisit a work and see it in a different light, whether that light is tragedy or motherhood or merely the passage of time, is always exhilarating.
A little introspection can go a long way, as Tori has shown us here with her "song girls"; you should make a point to come and visit them and see how they've grown, and who they've matured into.











*Would you be surprised to learn that some people think Tori Amos' singing is horribly annoying?
** I found myself discerning between calling them "original" and "old"; usually in the cases where I liked the "original" version better than the Gold Dust version, or the Gold Dust version better than the "old" version.

End of the Month Music Bitchfest - September 2012

Nine Inch Nails

At 12:22 am on Thursday, September 19th, Trent Reznor posted the following on Twitter: "Yes."
As staid and irrefutable as a simple negative can be, this "yes" is, literally, its diametric opposite.
It speaks volumes.
"Yes" to what?
A new NIN album?
The long-awaited How To Destroy Angels LP?
The edited HD footage from the final Nine Inch Nails shows?
Something totally different streaking towards us from out of left field?!
With that "yes"...there are no obstacles, just promise...the future is completely unwritten...anything is possible...
Or, you know, go fuck yourself.
That one word was retweeted 1,364 times and favorited 430 times (as of this moment).
Quadruple fuck yourself because the day after he posted this epic fart marks the thirteenth anniversary of The Fragile.
Which I'm sure he probably forgot; just like he forgot about the tenth anniversary deluxe edition...due out three years ago.*
I have to say, for an artist so worried about his own relevance, he sure does love to test out just how long he can go without releasing stuff and, thusly, how far he can fade from peoples' minds.
But, hey, right now it's still Thursday, September 20th. At the stroke of midnight, nin.com could suddenly update with details and links and candy and rainbows; he's pulled awesome shit like that before.
You may never know these sentences even existed because they could be replaced with the screaming ardor of the tiny fanboy living in the back of my brain who is always ready to sing the praises of everything Trent Reznor has ever done EVER.
Although, to be honest, I'm thinking "No."

Also, Reznor is set to appear on October 14th in L,A, for an evening talking about music with David Byrne and some dude, where he'll probably let slip the amazing news that something will be released in some capacity...soon....maybe...
Then he'll literally shit on the stage and 1,364 Nine Inch Nails fans will tweet about it while 430 of them roll around in it, chanting lyrics from their favorite songs off of The Fragile.
I can see it so clearly that I can smell it.

Heh.
So, THE DAY I typed the above, Reznor posted the following:

Sorry for the radio silence lately... I've been busy! There's a number of things to be revealed over the coming months. Some you may expect, others you may not. Patience, my friends.

Today's news is about my band How To Destroy Angels. I'm happy to announce we've formally partnered with Columbia Records for our next series of releases. The first of these will be available in November and it's called An Omen EP. As you may have guessed, it's an EP. It contains six songs, some of which are from our full-length LP which is coming early next year.
We are making some videos, we are going to be performing live, and that's all the details I have for now on those matters.

Regarding our decision to sign with Columbia, we've really spent a long time thinking about things and it makes sense for a lot of reasons, including a chance to work with our old friend Mark Williams. There's a much more granular and rambling answer I could give (and likely will in an interview someplace) but it really comes down to us experimenting and trying new things to see what best serves our needs. Complete independent releasing has its great points but also comes with shortcomings.

We are all very excited about you checking out the new stuff. Wish I could tell you more, but you know how this works... it would take all the fun out of it!

Stay tuned! — with Atticus Ross, Rob Sheridan and Mariqueen Maandig Reznor.

So....lot of emotions while reading through this....hm...you know, that would be a lie. There was one sentence while reading this: "November?** Early next year? Fuck you."
HAS IT NOT BEEN LONG ENOUGH?!

Whatever.
I'm too tired for any more bile today.
Prediction: we'll get some pictures, we'll get a song, we'll get a video, we'll get the EP, we'll get another song, we'll get the album.
The above sentence will take place from now until...I don't know...May of next year?
Wake me when it's November, then bury me in a stasis pod with the EP until it's "early next year" in mid-2014.
Check out their new site design and weep with the rest of us.


Beck

Good: Beck has a track on the new Tribute To Caetano Veloso album.
Bad: It's available for download in the Brazilian iTunes store.
So...thuck you?


They Might Be Giants

I've done some research and it looks like I can get all the vinyls from the IFC transferred to .wavs for about $50. Money well spent, as there is some pretty great stuff on these things.
Will I share them?
No, not unless the person I'm sharing with is a huge fan (probably just Jade, Gia and Sylvia).
Am I okay with them no longer being trapped on vinyl?
Yes, yes I am.
Flans has informed us there will be another vinyl mailing around the holidays and I've suggested that TMBG go back and rework some old tracks of theirs, maybe try some new stuff or perhaps take an approach they didn't take originally (a studio version of "Hey Mr. D.J., I Thought You Said We Had A Deal" with their recent horn arrangement would be tasty...). Both Flans and the IFC community seem to think that is a good idea.
I, also, think it is a good idea.
Since I now have the ability to talk directly to Flans, I asked him if he knew/liked any of my other favorite bands (except for NIN because I don't want to freak him out...) and he responded that he's met Beck several times and "he's a gent" and that he likes the video for the Eels song that his friend AJ directed. He also said he thought that Dan Miller is a Cake fan but that he also likes them and their guitar/horn arrangement.
The fact that Beck and They Might Be Giants know each other...I don't know, it kind of makes me warm on the inside.


As I'd hoped and expected, the David Byrne/St. Vincent album, Love This Giant, is excellent, truly something new in a sea of dead and dusty sound.
Seriously, those horns are so god damn versatile.
You can read my review (which, according to an Amazon robot, helped someone to purchase said album!) here or on Amazon!!! I'M IN THE BIG TIME NOW!!!! THE BIG TIME!!!! NOW!!!!!!!

Moments after posting the August Bitchfest, I discovered that Tori Amos had released a track from her upcoming...cover album?...remake album?...reinterpretation album?...Gold Dust.
Since then, over the course of the month, the whole album has been put up.
The majority is absolutely beautiful; the tracks have a freshness and vitality that wasn't missing but just wasn't there...what? Not really sure how to put it... Some of them have a new life and some of them were fine just the way they were.
Thanks be unto suet that Tori figured out how to escape that adult contemporary corner she was painting herself into the past few...decades.
I swear, there's nothing that basing an album around strings or horns cannot accomplish...
I've been spending some time with her recent live album (just her and a piano), From Russia With Love.
That lady...has still got it.
As much as I love Reznor, he will never be as good at writing a song or playing a piano or singing as Tori Amos, even though he does have better pronunciation than her.
I don't think I'm going to write a full on review for Gold Dust, I might just compare the originals with the new versions and discuss which I like better...if you're good...and pure...and can stand...and be true.

Now, some sadness as Tweaker released two tracks (one called "Nothing At All" and the other, the last track off the album, called "Fine") from their third and final album, call the time eternity. There's some sort of remix contest on AcidPlanet that allows one to hear and remix "Fine" and...aw, man...it's really not that great.
It's not a great song, it's not a great Tweaker song and, as what might be the last song they'll ever create...it's really, really not a great song.
I want nothing more than to love Tweaker and all the stuff they do, but songs like this make it difficult.
I know about judging books and covers and all that, but I'm not judging the whole album...I'm judging the end of the album.
And it's a disappointing ending.
The other track is sort of an...evolution of a song from their first album called "Happy Child". It features Jessicka from Jack Off Jill on vocals and, well, it seems that I don't really like Jessicka from Jack Off Jill.
On the chorus she sounds all right, I guess, but the verses are spoken in what I keep finding myself calling "tough girl talk singing".
It's sort of talking along with the beat with an affected voice?
It's fucking horrendous.
The biggest problem I have with both these tracks is that they feel like demos, like they're both missing something, some instrumentation or studio polish to make them better...oh man I hope these things aren't too indicative...
You can hear "Fine" here and "Nothing At All" here and then be a judgemental asshole like me.
Woo.

But, as I am, in my heart of hearts, an optimist, I have some really good news with which to end this here Bitchfest.
I was searching for info about a new Thom Yorke solo album (as I enjoyed The Eraser more than any Radiohead album in recent memory) and, aside from a few random tracks he's released (which range from all right to repetitive and overly obtuse), I discovered that Atoms For Peace had just put up their official site.
Originally, "Atoms For Peace" was a track off of Eraser and now, it's a supergroup made of Yorke, Flea,  Nigel Godrich, Beck drummer Joey Waronker and some crazy Brazilian percussionist. They had released their first single, "Default", literally days before I stumbled onto them and it's really solid. So much so that I wrote a review of it.
For a song not done by Nine Inch Nails or Trent Reznor or How To Destroy Angels or Beck or Cake or Eels or They Might Be Giants.
It's that good.
I've been listening to it again and again, on repeat, and finding new elements and a deeper appreciation for it every time.
There's not a whole lot of info on them right now, but, apparently, the full length album is set for early 2013.
Very much looking forward to that.
Go to the Atoms For Peace web site and you can hear "Default" and see the accompanying simple yet effective video.










* This is what Nine Inch Nails fans call the Mathematics of Sadness.
**November 13th, to be specific, and, although solid dates do make these things better, I'm still pissed that the album has been done for at least 7 months and we're just starting the patented Reznor Release Cycle NOW. I wonder if he ever looks back on his days of wanting to get his music out to the world as soon as possible, maybe while masturbating, and I wonder if that's what he uses to bring himself over the top into climax...