3.31.2004

Just how much I rock...

Since you asked...if you hop over to Barnes & Noble's web site (http://music.barnesandnoble.com/search/product.asp?userid=2XVOX8SME0&ean=655173103524) you will see my review of the new They Might Be Giants EP. For those of you who don;t care, fucking die. Also, this Monday night (4/5 there is a squad attending a later performance of Eternal Sunshine etc. Get in touch.

3.27.2004

In Memoriam

Today I am updating my journal in memory of a great man who has recently left us.
Philip William Fortes Tucker
1980-2004)

A few months ago, Philip was attacked by timber wolves whilst in his home in Miami, Florida. He was quietly practicing strategies for Robo Rally, his favorite game, when a dozen of these shaggy, half crazed wolves approached from all around him. He was able to eat several of the wolves and maim many others but before he could finish the job they disappeared, leaving him barely alive. He was taken to a nearby hospital where his condition was upgraded to stable. Sadly though, during his recovery, the remaining wolves, dressed as friends and well-wishers visited him in the hospital and put bleach into his IV, initiating a slow and painful death.
We will all miss Philip and we know he is escorting angelic strippers to their cars in Heaven...or being sodomized by demons resembling Madison Murphy in Hell, we'll never know for sure. Either way, I'm sure he's surprised.
Before he died, Phil carried on a very full and eventful life in 23 years. He was conceived when two sexy comets hit one another. Although the resulting explosion destroyed several star systems, it did create a being that was later named "Phil" by the Owl People who found him. While he was with the Owl People, he became one with them and learned many of their secrets, most of which he will take with him to Heaven or Hell respectively. After being asked to leave the Owl People for convincing many of their women he was gay just to see what would happen, he went to many, many countries such as Brazil, Britain, Ireland, Scotland, Spain and several others in order to further convolute his bizarre accent. Once he had decided that his accent was appropriately muddled and sexy, he arrived in Florida in 1996 or so. He then began role playing. Then the wolf thing happened. A full, full life.
We can all be assured that Philip's only regret was that no one else was an interested in Robo Rally as he was. Rest in Peace.

3.21.2004


Joel Peter Witkin photographed the dead. He would use illegal channels to obtain recently dead John and Jane Doe's from morgues so he could pose them as he wished. This is one such dead model. I find the simple sitting pose with the black bags over her head makes for a very distubing emotion coming from this picture. Witkin created a new genre of photography that was dubbed "deviant photography". I was looking at this picture today and felt connected. Possible I see myself as the model, inert, sitting quietly in a room with a bag over my head, waiting for the medical examiners or anyone to find me and create some impetus. I can hear a noise, but I don't know what it is. Maybe whatever it is is waiting for the right state of putrifaction to start eating me. Who knows.
4:48 on a Mobius Strip
the labored breathing
of the biased Jew
the confused ramblings
of Joe Franklin
the painful songs
of the 30's and 40's
the inexplicable churning
and grinding
that comes from all around me

this is not saturday night/sunday morning
this is 4:48 on a mobius strip
people kill themselves all the time
for Joe Franklin
if he claims enough of our souls
he will live again
he ought to be stopped
but i am lulled
lulled
LuLLed...by three L's
/^\
I had left my notebook at the hospital so I went back over there today to find out that one of the operators had a heart attack and the head of the dept. is away for four weeks. This means a lot more work/money for me. Then...things will be better.
Like a record with dust in its grooves.
I'd say I'm on a 23 degree slope.
"with your long blonde hair and your eyes of blue
the only thing i ever got from you
was sorrow"

3.15.2004

Vous es tres belle, mama, girls and boys...

I did not go to the Prince orgy last week because it would have been hollow and pointless without two very important and lovesexxy people, so instead, I gave due to Prince in my own way. For my Birthday this year one God among men bestowed upon me a VHS copy of the Prince directed film, Under the Cherry Moon, in which Prince plays Christopher Tracey, a hustler living in Monte Carlo. The soundtrack is the Prince album "Parade" and features a lot of Prince songs no one has ever heard such as Under the Cherry Moon (a very sexy song), Do U Lie? (a whimsical yet sexy song), Girls and Boys (amazingly funky/sexy song), anotherloverholenyohead (very sexy, very funky), Venus de Milo (the powerful instrumental), and the heartbreaking Sometimes it Snows in April which I can't even talk about or I'll burst into tears. Along with these sexy unknown songs is one that might ring a few sex bells, namely Kiss.
Aside from being the world's best singer, dancer, dresser and lover, Prince is now officially the world's best actor. In fact, everyone in this film is the world's best actor. The one downside to the whole film is the amount of lovesexxy. For a film starring the sexiest man on all plains of existence, this film weasn't very sexy. Granted, there were some very sexy parts, like Prince in a bathtub, Prince dancing with some woman and Prince playing a piano and giving "the eyes", but I thought it would be a lot sexier. Honestly though, I blame the editor. He was probably so exhausted from ejaculating thousands of times during the course of watching the raw footage that he just used bad judgment and edited out a lot of the sexy. Well whatever, he's in hell for his crimes now. Next step is to find a copy of the SEQUEL to Purple Rain, Graffiti Bridge and make it mine. I feel sorry for everyone who can't grasp the whole of Prince, I really do. Your lives will never be full.

3.11.2004

WE ARE GOING TO THIS

Wether or not you are aware, Prince has been inducted into The Rock N' Roll Hall of Fame and tomorrow night there is a party in honor of him. It's at a club on 39th between 5th and 6th. ten dollars at the door with the below flyer. If you don't go to this, you are cut the fuck off, why? A. It's for Prince and B. this is the first time EVER I have actuvly wanted to go to any club ever. So make your choice.

http://keistar.com/gallery/031504.htm

3.09.2004

Sin is in!!

Okay blasphemers! I was reflecting on sin the other day. Sin and the 10 Commandments and how they relate to me and I relate to them as a ...what...lapsed Catholic? Recovering Christian? I don't know. And so I ran through all 17 (the 10 laws of God and the 7 Deadly sins, I decided to skip over the 7 Cardinal Virtues cuz they are outdated and no one I know exemplifies any of them, but that isn't your fault, it's mine for having such terribly damned friends...) and thought it would be interesting (time consuming) to write something about them and their relation to my self.

1. Thou shall not have false gods (don't worship things that aren't God)
As far as actually worshipping other gods? I have never brought a virgin to an oracle, I have never drunk wine then fucked a goat for Dionysus and I have never eaten a urine soaked communion wafer, so I think I’m good on that one.

2. Thou shall not take the Lord’s Name in vain. (don’t say “God” in an irreverent fashion, i.e. God damn it, God hates you, oh my God etc.)
If I’m going to hell for this, I will see 99% of the world there.

3. Thou shall keep the Sabbath holy. (go to Church at least ever week and observe the stuff you are supposed to observe on the Sabbath- no business, no working, no meat etc.)
I did this for about 14 years straight (and was bored out of my scrotum EVERY MOTHER BEATING SECOND. Since I left mine parents home I think I’ve been to Church maybe a dozen times in the past five years.

4. Honor thy father and mother. (do what mom and dad say, no matter what)
Between 1995 and 1999 (while I was in those “troubled years” I developed an intense hatred for my father and his illogical, old fashioned ways. I found that the further away from him and his rules I am, the better my life is. And that’s as good a reason as any to visit Will dans Frances and Jade dans Australia. Honestly though, once I was at college and he really couldn’t affect me directly anymore things improved, but if this is a damnable offense, then count me in, who wants barbecued soul?

5. Thou shall not kill. (don’t kill people...dumb ass)
Aside from the occasional insect, I think I’m good, but then again…I hate Kaitlyn a WHOLE LOT but I think if I killed her, God would understand the whole lesser of two evils thing and give me some merit points for doing what he was going to let happen painfully over years and years with alcoholism, drug abuse, an eventual addiction to cigarettes and scorching STD’s acquired from black men she’s fucked in order to find “the good one”. So, I guess the answer is “not yet.”

6. Thou shall not commit adultery. (don’t “play baseball” with anyone who isn’t your spouse)
Oddly enough, the only person I know who isn’t damned already is Kaitlyn. HA! Just kidding, you’re fucked, Jungle Feveress. Aside from a handful of people, I think everyone I know is toast. Oh well. Pass the love butter.

7. Thou shall not bear false witness against thy neighbor. (don’t lie)
Let's just say "yes".

8. Thou shall not steal (na'mean?)
I think we’ve all stolen something at some time or other. Kaitlyn, for instance, has stolen my heart…and she will burn in hell for that offense against me and God.

9. Thou shall not covet thy neighbors wife (keep your dirty mind to yourself)
10. Thou shall not covet thy neighbors’ goods (keep you dirty mind to yourself)
These two are the same, pretty much. If you have ever been jealous and wanted something that wasn’t yours, welcome to Hell. Yeah, I’ve done that. This commandment is an excellent segue into the Seven Deadly Sins…

Whereas I was recounting if I had broken them or not, with the Seven Big Ones I am going to delve into just how fun they are.

1. Envy
We have all wanted something that wasn’t ours. This is not a fun sin. Wanting things we don’t have reminds us that we don’t have them, and that is shitty. It makes us go out, buy ice cream and eat til’ we are fat.

2. Gluttony
This is a really fun sin. It’s fun because you get to eat pizza. Every time you don’t really need the extra slice (pizza, cheese cake, pie etc) and you take it? Glutton. Granted that the next day you might regret it (oh GOD, look at my thighs!), but then you don’t have to worry about Gluttony anymore, you Vain fucker…

3. Vanity (Pride)
This isn’t a very fun one either. It takes time (hours to make yourself look banging) and money (for the cosmetics and clothes one uses to become banging) and in the end, the better you look, the more of a sinner you are! AND this sin comes directly from another sin! I ate a lot last night so now I have to do something to make myself look better. This is a clear case of damned if you do and damned if you don’t. Again, unless you have a lot of time and money this is not a fun one. But if you DO have a lot of money…

4. Avarice (Greed, you layperson)
Something like Gluttony, but not as fun. Greed is more like, “although I have enough, I want more so I will always have enough”. “Enough” in this case means “more than you” and that’s why it’s worse than Gluttony and more or less fun depending on how spiteful you are…

5. Ire (Anger, you high school lunchpeople)
This is a complicated one. It’s not fun because you are made angry but something bad, but the release that you give into feels good, which can be better then Gluttony and Greed combined. Where Gluttony is more of a passive sin (eating pizza), Ire is more of an active sin. Slapping someone, hitting someone, killing someone or saying something in Ire is considered a sin. That release that comes with hitting someone or whatever, that’s the sin…

6. Lust
Fun fun fun til’ her daddy takes her T Bird away! What in the world is better than hitting the skinz raw style? Nothing jumps to mind. Oh! And what about how after you have sex, you just lay in bed eating pizza? mm…post-coital pizza… Anyway, this is, in my opinion, the best sin. True it feels good to punch someone you hate or to obtain something you’ve always wanted or to eat that FOURTH slice, but it just feels so much better to bust a nut (or fry an egg, respectively). And when the pizza is done? What’s next? Jump out of bed and run a mile? HA! You need to sleep off that sex pizza…

7. Sloth
Have you ever woken up at 6 to your alarm blatting and then turned it off, rolled over and thought I’ll just make something up later….then you’ve given in to another one of the sweetest sins they got, Sloth. Sloth is almost up there with Lust. It’s not as fun as Lust but it’s easier. You simply give in. Although Gluttony is a pretty passive sin, this is THE passive sin. Envy means you WANT that car, Lust means you FUCK that black guy, Gluttony means you EAT that piece of cheese…Sloth? You don’t. You just don’t.

And now the really interesting/depressing thing: All these sins are linked. One results in another which results in another etc. If I may, a scenario: You wake Saturday morning, disagree with the idea of Saturday “morning” and tuck back in for three more hours. You wake Saturday afternoon, find that more agreeable, get out of bed and begin to get ready for tonight. After 6 hours of making yourself look definitively banging, you are ready. You meet your friends at a restaurant where you head for the bathroom as the check arrives in order to skip on that little unpleasantness because if you don’t have enough money for drinks tonight, it’ll suck. After you all leave you go to a club where a few members of the opposite sex come up to you, you don’t consider them attractive enough to dance with and you blow them off, then you see the hottest piece of ass coming towards you, they start dancing with you, you grind like Darling Nikki and enjoy every second of it. Then a more attractive member of your sex comes up and swiftly removes said hottest thing from your life forever, you make sure to mutter curses under your breath and hope that they both choke on each others fluids. You then find the least unattractive of the unattractives that approached you earlier. You decide it will make you feel better to dance with and turn on this toad then dump them, you asshole. BUT…after a few more drinks, you notice they look more attractive than you remember, a few more, they have become the hottest thing in your life so going home with them seems like pretty good idea. After a sweaty, fumbling fuck session, you order Chinese food (or pizza), eat then go to sleep soaking in your own fluids.
Not a typical night for everyone I know, but typical enough. Either way, it’s a clear enough example of how one sin leads to another. But usually things don’t happen that way. It’s a smaller scale. Like you were planning to go to a museum or for a walk in a park, but instead you smoke weed and eat a pizza, or you want to order a pizza but you’re too stoned or tired and you just fall asleep. That was actually witnessed by me last year. My fat roommate Alex was going to go out and pick up meat and cheese and chips for a “snack”, but he said he was too lazy. It was amazing. I actually saw Sloth defeat Gluttony. And how often have you known that if you go out one night, you’ll probably find someone to at least make out with but rented a movie and stayed in? Amazing. It’s clear if we take a moment to look at our own lives that Sloth is the most powerful sin for most people. Lust might be the most fun, but it requires more work and we are Americans. We were made for Sloth…and Anger…and Gluttony, can’t forget that. And Vanity. Greed too. Not Envy, but that’s because if anyone had anything we didn’t we’d just move there and take it. And seldom Lust because we’re just too god damn lazy.
A final note on the ten commandment section for all you “good people” who are thinking I haven’t done but half of those…the Bible considers a thought as bad as a deed. For example, thinking that it would be great if someone just fucking died? That’s number 5. Thinking how great it would be to bang that homeless chick you see everyday, number 6. You get the point. And speaking of the point…hm, well I don’t know, I just wanted to write about the commandments and sins today. How about you reading this? What’s your favorite sin? Which commandments have you not broken?

Did you know that they found Spalding Grey dead apparently by his own hand? That sucks.
I’m done.

3.08.2004

You all need to eat this for breakfast.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Co5DZl50OeQ

A Note

Taint stains wasn't directed at anyone, I just like the sound of it. taint stain, taint stain...mmm...

The difference between clever and clever clever

Ever wish you were traveling to strange places with inpronouncable names? Ever wish you were in training to become a Jedi? Ever wish you spoke just enough German to order beer and coax women into bed with you? Welcome to Viacarious Town, you lazy taint stains. http://pomerantz.blogspot.com/2004_03_01_pomerantz_archive.html#107866659767558252

3.07.2004

Blent.

Spi-DONG! Pidow!! Stepa! Dooty gowp! Stemply gwan! Gshink cloot. Blerny guut. Nargh warf! Spelt spelt! GLOG! GLOG!! GLOG GOD DAMN YOU! Grut. Mmm...grut. SPU. Benky dink powter...seppy seppy seppy seppy...BING!

3.05.2004

Something funky

Although not NEARLY as arousing as the original, Foo Fighters has recorded a very rocking version of Prince's opus Darling Nikki. Check it out, feel it up, rub one out.

I am one who smiles at the sky...

The other day I was riding the Subway (the underground train that runs all under New York City) and at one stop about a dozen teenage Asian girls got on and started chattering with each other. After the initial shock of it wore off, I found myself swallowed up by this amazing sense of peace. It was very good.

3.01.2004

I am in a very big house. Twice before I think, but this time I am only on the second floor of maybe three floors (the first time I recall being there it was in a large drawing room in the front of the house with large windows letting in the dusky light. The room was filled with things that used to belong to my dead grandmother-her thick Oriental carpet her large flowered vases-and the room smelled of her. It was a very stifling room and the feeling of death was almost palpable). Very spacious hallways lead into very spacious rooms. I'm here to get my guitar and once I have my guitar, Laurie Metcalf (actress who played Jackie on Roseanne) finds a painting that she painted and gives it to me to take out of here because she is angry that it isn't being appreciated. I am now burdened by a guitar (in a worn rectangular case) and a rather large oil painting (no frame, just the canvas, there are elegantly scripted words on the canvas but I cannot read them) and I am ready to go. I find my sister in a room staring at something and I tell her it's time to go. She doesn't respond and my mother tells me that she was ready to go but now she wants to listen to some band whose name I can't remember and that means that we have to keep a close watch on her because she gets depressed when that happens. My mother and I walk into a bright and foreboding room. It is a child's room. On the bed is a pile of fur with four legs sticking up in the air. I set down the guitar and painting (or perhaps earlier I gave them to Kathy or Laurie Metcalf) and pet the pile of fur. It is a cat. And one of those cats who do not liked being petted. It has light brown fur at its roots but ichor black fur at the tips. It looks like someone dipped it in oil. It has dark green eyes. Very angry eyes. As soon as I pet it, it begins to bite and scratch my hand. I then pull my hand back and exit the room. The cat follows, angry it’s been woken up. I pick it up and hold it to myself and it continues to thrash and try to bite and scratch me. I grab it by the scruff of its neck and throw it away from me and then I run into a different room to close the door to get away from it, but every room I enter has a large pile of books stopping the door from closing. The cat is scrambling towards me and rather than get stuck in a room with the cat, I wake up.