6.25.2004

Just found out that Shark Week starts Sunday, July 25th at 8pm. Peel your eyes til then for a glimpse of my sex.

6.24.2004

Welcome to the Paulitosphere

I have this strange knack of being really easy to stay friends with. Allow me to elucidate...I haven't seen my friend Erin Sweet in years, but when I go to Florida and we hang out, it's like a saw her yesterday. Same thing with other friends from high school. Basically, no matter how long it's been since I last talked to them, the rapport we shared is almost instantly revived. It's like no matter how far away from them I am...I am always close to them.
Well, I had me a revelation. And would you be surprised to know is has to do with my height? NO. You would not.
Because my height is so...heighty and I am so tall, I have realized that I inhabit my own section of the Earth's atmosphere. It is called the Paulitosphere and it is the reason that even after years of not contacting someone I can immediately jump right back into the swing with them. Because I am always in the swing with everyone. Additionally, some guy recently achieved some sort of zero gravity in his private plane (this is a third hand account, from someone to Phil to me so it's a bit muddled...) during which time he opened a bag of M&M's and had them all floating around. He described this feeling as "touching the Face of God". What he did not know is that that was the Paulitosphere. So from this moment on, I shall be known as the Face of God.
I will now eat hot dogs for dinner.

6.23.2004

6.20.2004

Ok, just to let y'all know; they have started running a Shark Week teaser (a clip of water and blood or something along those lines stating "Shark Week is coming") and after a quick check on the DC website, last year Shark Week started the first week of August. Look for my commercial after the 21st (Monday). Tape it if you can because I do not have cable and of course, let me know if you catch it. Yea.

6.18.2004

Pleased to meet you, hope you guess my name...

As promised, here are some shots from the set of the Shark Week commercial (NOTE: If you cannot see the pictures and a password thing pops up on your screen the username is "shark" as is the password). These were all taken on and around the set; a dilapidated amusement park on the Jersey shore. A few quick words about Asbury Park, New Jersey: It is a creepy, broken down little town that has about 600 people and 56 pizza joints. We stayed in a hotel built in 1924 that looked like something out of a Lovecraft tale. We saw the Stone Pony and all agreed that Springstein should have killed himself long ago. I was terrified from the moment I got there to the moment I left. Onto the shoot…
For some reason the director, Christian, wanted Satan to be dressed as a blinged out old school gangsta…maybe he hates Black people? Who’s to say?
First, this is the night before the shoot at this crazy restaurant called Insano’s. Why is it crazy? Because I asked the waitress for a burger, she paused and then responded with, “There’s really nothing on the menu even close to a burger.”

To my left is Michelle, who did costumes. We hit it off immediately. She reminded me of Katie from Wet Hot American Summer in like 15 years. To my right is Rick (a PA) then Keith and Craig, these guys were my makeup team. These are the only straight makeup artists in the world. That thing I’m holding was on the table. What you can’t see it the hearse parked right outside the window. Fucking creepy ass Jersey town…

The guy on the right is the director, Christian. Although you can’t see in any pictures of him, he has one of the largest lewd t-shirt collections in the tri-state area.

This is Christian and the producer, Jeff at 3 in the morning, drunk off their highly creative asses, getting ready to call it a night and get ready for this 5 am call time. Idiots.
This just one of the partially demolished buildings near where we shot.

Here are some shots of me getting Satanic.



My bling.


Now, most of you know to be pasty white. Or, as a certain swarthy Brazilian might say “fish belly white”. Yes. True. And I intended to keep it that way. Every moment I was not on camera, I had a PA named Zieda hold an umbrella over my pale, demonic self. Hey, that’s what PA’s are there for.


While I was on camera, I was doing beach things that were funny because they were out of character for Satan…I guess.




For some reason, there was a large wooden cross on the beach where we were shooting. Christian and I brainstormed for a few minutes about how we could encompass it into our chicanery. We thought maybe I could be laughing at it, pissing on it, nailed to it but eventually we decided to leave it out just in case some of the right wingers at the Discovery liked God.

And now…Soulmasta S. Diddy

If you will check the properties on this picture, you will notice that it is number 1666. Someone has a sense of humor…
Again, I don’t know when (if) this will be on the Discovery Channel, but when (if) I find out, I will let you know.
On another good/bad note, the long forgotten Baby Kermit the Frog talking doll is NOT being shipped to the U.S…except for the one they are sending me. I should be getting it at the end of June, beginning of July. Since there will be only this one, you will all have to come to my apartment to see it. For people like Lisa and Christina, that will not be a problem, but for people like Will and all my other friends in Thailand…you might have to take the train…

6.17.2004

You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and then youhave my acting career thus far.

Good news/bad news time...bad news first...so, it slipped my mind until last night that my NBA commercial might never be shown. Why? Because the three teams mentioned in it are the Mavericks, the Oilers and the Kings. For those of you who know nothing about basketball, these three teams have one thing in common…none of them made it to the Finals this year and since my commercial is for the Finals…well, remember that headline about Dewey winning the Presidency? Yeah. So you’ll never see that on TV or ever since unreleased commercials are never shown for legal reasons that suck. Thanks, God.
Onto the good news…remember that Nike short film that I was convinced would never see the light of day? It has seen the light of day. Thanks, Satan. http://www.gawker.com/artofspeed/pages/015995.php#more (along the right side of the page is a list of the directors and their short films, mine is titled “One Muscle” and is directed by Greg Brunkalla).
I’m sure you’ll all notice I am credited as “Paul Gryet”…uh…yes, my new stage name, as none of you know, is Paul Gryet. So we’ll hear no more of it. And here is a sexy picture to make you wet.

6.15.2004




Prince


Prince of Darkness
Anyway...I just got back from the shoot in Jersey today and it was mad fun. More details later, maybe.
Now...the NBA thing...it should be about 30 seconds and it is a parody of those "Best Of" CD's. Walt Frazier is in it, but it is not animated (there is another Walt Frazier commercial that is animated apparently). You should look for this on mainly TNT and ABC, although it should pop up on CBS, NBC and Fox. If you know what I look like, you will know me when you see me, there was no hair or makeup used.
The Shark Week/Satan thing will appear somewhere (definitely Discovery Channel) after June 21st. Check the Discovery Channel web site for Shark Week dates. I should have some pics from the shoot up soon and you can see how I have made the real Satan a total bitch.
And now...foody poos.