Look, I never promised that I wouldn't have one of these for July, I just said I might not, so, sorry.
But, as I am in Los Angeles, mere miles away from several of my favorite artists, I decided to go all out this month...and visit them in their homes.
Nine Inch Nails
After some cajoling, I proved to Trent that I was, indeed, a fan* and he let me in. I met Mariqueen, who embraced me like an old friend and then made Trent and I some amazing tea, a flowery and slightly sweet blend of her own concoction. She then headed out with the kids and Trnet and I sat down in his studio to talk turkey. Which we actually did for, like, twenty minutes before I got him to shut up about it. Hot Hollywood Gossip: Trent Reznor really, really likes turkey. "It's like having Thanksgiving every day!" he exclaimed giddily at one point.
The first thing I asked, obviously, was how the new Nine Inch Nails album is progressing. He said very well and then played me a few tracks, but then, soon after, had Atticus Ross, who lives above the ceiling panels in the studio**, drop down and shine some light in my eyes which erased the past few minutes, so yeah, I got nothing. I think there were guitars. Definitely a keyboard or two. And singing. Trent told me that when he said "new Nine Inch Nails music in 2016", he meant "his 2016". I was confused by that and asked what he meant. Turns out that Trent, like the Mayans, has his own calendar system, which, honestly, explains a lot. When I followed up with when 2016 was for him he said "anywhere between 2008 and 2023." "So...you're saying the album could already be out?"
"Yeah, probably. Maybe. Yeah," he responded.
I moved on to his involvement with the new season of Twin Peaks, coming in early 2017, and he told me his role was "mostly craft services" and "some day playing in make up". He then passed me a cranberry lemon scone that he had baked earlier that day and I understood why Lynch had reached out to him; it was utterly delicious. He then went on about scones for another half hour, then tried to get back onto turkey***, but I shut that down right quick. He apologized and played me a cover he'd done of Prince's "Planet Earth" which was haunting and beautiful.
My time was running out, so I wrapped things up by asking him about the status of the deluxe reissue of The Fragile. At first he looked completely blank, then said, "Oh, uh...soon."
As he escorted me out, Atticus passed me a copy of his score for the new doc Almost Holy, which he composed with his brother, Leopold, and Bobby Krlic. I told him I would give it a listen and he kissed me on the mouth. Atticus Ross has lips as soft as his voice.
I turned to thank Trent and Atticus, and Trent screamed "I want to fuck you like an animal!" before giving me a double thumbs up.
God damn what a genius...
Next, off to Beck's place.
Beck
When I showed up at Beck's house (which was the perfect blend of a spaceship, treehouse, temple, and seaside surf bungalow), he didn't hesitate to invite me in and hand me a guitar he'd made. I told him that I didn't know how to play guitar but he just whispered, "float like a butterfly, sting like a butterfly." He then ran off into his studio and I joined him. He set up some rudimentary beats and we jammed for a bit, then he made me a kale salad with these weird little plum things on it. I asked him what they were and he said, "those are from my home plan-- uh...Traders Joe. And Hold Foods." I inquired if he meant Trader Joe's and Whole Foods, and he just screamed into his cowboy hat then starting playing a Prophet-5. He told me about this album he and Prince had written and recorded on a Sunday about a year ago and then scrapped because it was, according to Beck, "too illegal. The funk. All of it together at once. Not for these people. Not yet, maybe not ever. Too illegal. Too hot. The funk would cut and burn and there would be nothing left but wet tears. No good. Break beats." I told him I understood. At one point while playing me some of his new album, he just started levitating and sort of murmuring to himself, and I got uncomfortable and decided to leave. He called out, "Girl, you smell gooood! Whoo! You got pretty pockets, dancy bird!" Not sure if this was a goodbye or a song lyric or some kind of threat, but I was rattled and running late for my next stop: Los Feliz and the home of Mark Oliver Everett, a man called E.
Eels
E had made us chili. I told him about Beck's kale salad and he just nodded. After some awkward starts and stops, we just talked about Prince and played with his dog and listened to old records for a few hours. I asked if he was working on any new music or anything like that, and he shrugged and said, "I have a few things sitting around." He left it at that and I let it go, I'd had a good visit but it was clear he was done hosting. I thanked him and wished him well.
On to my final appointment of the day...Cake.
Cake
I arrived at the edge of the forest where John McCrea told me to meet him and flat out asked him, "So, are you guys still a band? Are you still making music? What the fuck are you doing?" He smiled indulgently and said, "We have a lot of new music. Would you like to hear it?" I said that, of course I did, but that I was honestly a bit skeptical. So he reached into a hemp sack he had on his back and pulled out about a dozen CDs. "Here it is. See?"
"Okay..." I reached for them, but he pulled them back. "I'll let you have them, all of them, but you have to do something first." "Fine, what?" McCrea then pointed at a huge tree and said, "Tell that tree you love it." "What?" I asked. "You heard me, I have excellent diction, now go over and tell that tree you love it and you need it to live and that it's the most important thing in the world." I'd had a long day and was genuinely enticed by a dozen new Cake albums, so I walked over to the tree, leaned close to it, and told it that I loved it. "And that you need it to live and that's it's the most important thing in the fucking world!" He yelled. I did so. "Now kiss it!" McCrea shrieked. "Are you--" I started to say, but he screamed again, real fury on his voice, "Don't you fucking look at me, pig! Kiss that fucking tree and then you'll get you're precious fucking music! You cunt!" It was then it dawned on me that I was all alone out here, on the edge of some fucking forest with this man who had me facing a tree and who was now screaming at the top of his lungs to kiss it. I no longer cared about the new music, I just wanted to get out of this alive. So, I leaned closer and kissed the tree. "Make it fucking sexy!" The voice came from right behind me. I closed my eyes, whispered a prayer, and started making out passionately with the rough, dusty bark. After what felt like an eternity, I pulled my face, now wet with sap and tears, back from the tree. Nothing happened. I turned around and McCrea was gone. He'd left the pile of CDs behind and I you get at least this nightmare wasn't all for nothing. I picked them up and my hopes crashed as I saw they were recordings of tree noises. Twelve CDs worth of tree noises.
Fucking asshole.
Seriously though, the combination of air conditioned isolation, the thrill and challenge of my first starring feature film role, and the overall weirdness of the situation and of Los Angeles itself has bred in me a strong lust for all things Thom Yorke and St. Vincent, so I've kind of been listening to all this on repeat when I've had a moment. Also, Stephen King reading The Wind Through The Keyhole.
I also obtained the new Haley Bonar, Impossible Dream, and should have a review of that up on SoundBlab soon. Thus far, I really dig the first half. It's super short and to the point, more a pill than an album.
Anyway. Really hope I'll have a review of the upcoming Mother Feather show at the Bootleg Theater here next month.
Cross those fingers...
* In case you're wondering how I did this, I told him I knew who Annie was, who Steve was, and that I know all the lyrics to all his songs and that I wanted to be in his underwear. Easy peasy.
** Trent and Atticus thought that was really funny, because most of his name is "Attic".
*** "You know what would be totally weird but probably totally delicious?" He led with,"A turkey scone!"
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