East Coast, West Coast, Everyone's A Killer: Hot. Sex.

Have you ever *line from that song from Pocahontas that I can't quite remember right now and am too lazy to look up*? Then, my churlish chap, then...THEN...you be an acting person.

Yesterday was a big day...our first official day with Sally Mom, who should be in a failed franchise with Nic Cage because she is a national treasure. Also...my very first sssssssexxxxxxxxx sssssscene..... Viewers are going to get up close and personal with my Slender Gent, especially if you are lucky enough to see this film in IMAX. #NightmareMonsterCock 

Honestly, it was nothing. The room was 5000 degrees, there were a dozen people and I had just rubbed one out in the bathroom, just in case my Gent forgot this was a movie.* Right before one of the takes, Hillary said, "Think of Phil and Will seeing this." We almost had to stop because I was snickering so hard. 

And speaking of hard: the hardest thing I had to do yesterday was put on a sweaty shirt while covered in sweat. Fucking heat. Fucking sweat. Fucking porous skin. Jillian, Dawn and Rebeca (wardrobe and hair and make up respectively) have made a special project of keeping me sweatless.

Yesterday was also the eighth day of our sixteen day shoot! Halfway through and things are still moving incredibly smoothly. Most of the ridiculously demanding scenes are over, leaving only the pretty pony stuff. And the singing. Or fake singing. Whatever.

I am officially missing Mother Feather tonight, and I'm boiling over it. There have been no fuck ups on this shoot. Everyone has been super professional and has done their jobs in an exemplary fashion. But. I hate that a shot will take forty five minutes to set up, only to be used for two minutes of shooting. Film acting is stupid. Just think of the proportions: three weeks = ninety minutes. We're here from 10 am to 10 pm, and might get less than ten minutes of footage. In. Sane.

Anyway, lunch is over and I've still got five fucking hours of shooting left, then, our 3 pm to 3 am the next day. Oy. But, on the bright side, I've inspired Sally to move forward with this ingenious animated series she's been incubating for years; we're doing it together, or not at all.

I also have a VO lined up for the day after my return: it will take two hours, be fully air conditioned, and net me about 3/4 of my fee for this whole project. VO is the kind of insane I can get behind.

Bruh.

* SO TOTALLY KIDDING.