Thanks, in part, to Jen Rock, I've recently shambled back into the convoluted, absurd and ridiculously Japanese world of Resident Evil.
It all started a few weeks ago when her and I hung out and decided to play RE5 using local co-op (two people playing, at the same time, on the same screen). We finished the game in two sessions, the second of which lasted about twelve hours and ended just as the sun was coming up. It was the most fun I've had gaming in a while.
Since this massive play session, I had a hankering to play through RE5 again in order to unlock a staple in all Resident Evil games...the infinite ammo rocket launcher.
It's a rocket launcher...with infinite ammo...and it is glorious. To be honest, no, it doesn't really add to the tension or horror or feeling of vulnerability inherent in the game, it's more like a fun little thing you get as a reward for playing the living shit out of the game numerous times. And it's delightful; big, Cthuvian nightmare comes shambling and snarling and mewling up to you and then, click, boom, done.
Delicious.
Still on my Resident Evil Zombie Train*, I watched the first Resident Evil movie last night. Aside from some less than amazing CG and computer effects and a handful of trite lines of dialogue delivered badly, this movie still holds up remarkably well. It's a bit more stylized than your typical zombie flick, more sci-fi, but it does a great job of co-existing with the RE video game universe...at least until you start watching the second (of five) sequels and begin to yearn for a time machine. They do a great job with the antiseptic atmosphere of Umbrella's underground labs and Marilyn Manson's score work is astonishing; it fits perfectly and does exactly what it sets out to do. And there is never anything wrong with Milla Jovovich ever. Except in Ultraviolet.
Going back to RE5: it's the best looking game in the series, allowing you to clearly see the horrible creatures and then struggle to try and describe them. In one case, Jen and I were fighting a huge, man-shaped bunch of black squiggles, in another, a part prawn, part whale, part vagina monster. If a Silent Hill game could look this good, I don't think I'd ever be able to sleep again. That was always something I liked more about the SH series, you never really know what you're fighting. With RE it's always an experiment gone wrong and sometimes you even find documents describing how and what went wrong, but with SH, you might get a torn and blood-smeared page from some black tome bound in human flesh rambling on about some awful ritual...and, when you get down to it, horrible supernatural evil is always more frightening than corporate espionage.
So, despite being smart and attractive, I still plan to watch the second Resident Evil movie (Resident Evil: Apocalypse) this evening. I may actually stop myself before watching the third (Resident Evil: Extinction) and I will definitely stop myself before watching the fourth (Resident Evil: Afterlife).
But...will I see the fifth and (please, sweet baby Jesus) final Resident Evil movie, Resident Evil: Retribution, in theaters this September? No. I won't. In fact, I'm so not going to see it, that I'm not even going to make a joke about it. I will never see another Resident Evil movie in the theaters. I saw the first one and that was it. This is, again, not a joke.
I will however, be purchasing the new Resident Evil game (curiously titled Resident Evil 6) the day it comes out.
Because, ladies and gentlemen, zombies are back.
In the past two RE titles, RE4 and 5, the things you've been killing have NOT been zombies, but rather people infected with something called Las Plagas (literally, "the plague"**), an organism that, essentially, removes their humanity, but, in RE6, the good, old fashioned, reanimated-dead-you-have-to-shoot-them-in-the-head zombies are back.
And I look forward to obliterating them all with an infinite ammo rocket launcher with Jen Rock by my side.
*Which sort of sums up the plot of Resident Evil 0 for the Gamecube
**Slow, unimpressed applause
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