Are you a lubriCAN...or a lubriCAN'T?

Bleh.
I can't keep a fucking thought in my head today...which means I'll either die of brain fever or write a screenplay.

Did NOT watch Resident Evil: Afterparty last night because I had to do a home recording for the lovely lollies at TransPerfect. At some point soon, once they overhaul their system, I will be that helpful voice whose face you want to punch for Lenovo. They're either in computers or lubricants*, either way, I'm perfect for them. They just send me e-mails with words, then I say them into a microphone next to my bed, then they give me money. I will tell you a sexy, super-secret secret...I like those kind of acting jobs more than the ones that require auditioning...shhhhhhh...

Then I had to sleep because I had one of those awful auditions where there are other people. It was for some totally amazing web site with a gibberish word as its name.
It's totally going to revolutionize things and the way people do stuff.
Totally.
But I don't think it worked out because I got the note "try it so you don't sound like you're talking about a family members funeral".
In the industry, that is what we call "not promising".

GAH! Fuck! While typing this I just found out I have an audition tomorrow morning at 10:15.
Wow. I'm complaining about auditions...what a cockass.
That's like Phil complaining about having too many ideas for novels or Will complaining about getting invited over to Sir Richard's house (again) for fondue and strip Trivial Persuit...or something.
The good news is the celebrity reference for this is Morgan Freeman. So, I suppose I'd better get busy something or get busy some other thing.
Also, I should stay black and die.
Deep impact.

I guess this means no Resident Evil: Afterbirth tonight either...which leaves me feeling strangely happy...

All right, off to write that screenplay.
I'm calling it "Billy and the Cloneasaurus".








*Personally, I'm a lubrican.