Everything About Me You Don't Really Care to Know

Sorry to do this but...
Name: Guido M. Paparazzi
Birthdate: 25 January, 1981
Birthplace: Greenwich, CT
Current Location: Manhattan, NY
Eyes: Brown
Hair: Glorious
Height: 6'8
Righty or Lefty: Lefty
Sign: Aquarius
Your heritage: Half British, half Irish
The shoes you wore today: So far, none.
Your weakness: Too loud.
Your fears: The creeping numbness standing beside you!!!
Your perfect pizza: New York pizza, with cheese.
Goal you'd like to achieve: a purified race, just kidding. Fortune and glory, plus, eradication of ignorance.

Your most overused phrase on AIM or Yahoo: dig
Thoughts first waking up: margleblughytjolkom
Your best physical feature: Dick bone or my rock hard abs…touch my abs, touch my abs with your DECK…
Your bedtime: Between 3 and 4 unless I’m tired or not tired.
Your most cherished memory: Numerous occasions with Phil and Will: for fun. Numerous occasions with Christina: for mushy stuff.
Pepsi or Coke: Coke, pref. Vanilla.
McDonald's or Burger King: McDonald’s. A Big Mac will always beat a Whopper.
Single or group dates: Single, double/triple/etc dating is a rather twaty concept.
--Adidas or Nike: NIKE! Keep those lazy 4-year olds working. Learn them the value of 3 cents.
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Cool by Nestea. All I drank after my eye work.
Chocolate or vanilla: vanilla
Cappuccino or coffee: coffee
Smoke: Never.
Cuss: Fucking a.
Sing: Only with an all Broadway cast.
Take a shower everyday: About five times a week. I like that sexy look my hair gets when my natural oils try to swallow it.
Have a crush(es): Every day in every way.
Do you think you've been in love: Think so.
Do you want to go to college: I want to go back sometimes, for the Morning Star bacon cheeseburgers and mozzarella fries and the HBO.
Want to get married: Not now! Jesus…
Believe in yourself: What’s the alternative? Fade into nothingness?
Get motion sickness: Only when I bring it upon myself, reading and stuff.
Think you're attractive: That’s not important…do YOU think I’m attractive.
Think you're a health freak: Not a HEALTH freak…
Get along with your parent(s): The less I’m around them.
Like thunderstorms: yes
Play an instrument: sort of, self taught piano.
In the past month have you:
Drank alcohol: yes
Smoked: no
Done a drugs: no
Had Sex: yes
Made out: yes
Gone on a date: ?
Gone to the mall: no
Eaten an entire box of Oreos: no
Eaten sushi: no
Been on stage: no
Gone skating: no
Made homemade cookies: no, eaten them.
Gone skinny dipping: no (NYC in Feb…fuck you)
Dyed your hair: no
Stolen anything: a homeless man’s ass cherry
Ever...
Played a game that required removal of clothing: yes.
If so, was it mixed company: yes
Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: yes
Been called a tease: Only by Kaitlyn.
Gotten beaten up: HA.
Shoplifted: no
Age you hope to be married: Whatever.
Numbers and Names of Children: There is not enough space to go into this here.
Describe your dream wedding: Everything typical but James Bond is the priest.
How do you want to die: Not a matter of how I WANT to die. I will be killed by a minority.
Where you want to go to college: Deep Springs University
What do you want to be when you grow up: Tall
What country would you most like to visit: Venus.
In a guy/girl...
Best eye colour: Blue/green, along those lines.
Best hair colour: Dark hair.
Short or long hair: long, oh jesus long.
Height: I would have said about 6 feet or so, but height really doesn’t matter…it’s the angle that matters…
Best weight: Single digits. Me and a shinbone? Rowr.
Best articles of clothing: Hats. So various! So expressive! I need more fun hats.
Best first date location: Someplace where you can French.
Best first kiss location: My dick..
Number of drugs taken illegally: 0
Number of people I could trust with my life: 3
Number of CDs that I own: 300 or more.
Number of piercings: 0, no thanks, I got all the holes I need…and some I don’t…
Number of tattoos: 0, what would look cool and mean something now that would do the same in 70 years?
Number of times my picture has appeared in the newspaper: 4 or 5 from when I was Hagrid at B&N. Note: I have yet to SEE these pictures, but I am assured they exist.
Number of scars on my body: 4 external (hernia, varicoselectomy and my finger on my right hand, back of my head from when the babysitter left me alone and I fell over…fucking cunt., numerous in and on my eyes and countless emotional scars.
Number of things in my past that you regret: I have few real regrets, but OH MY GOD are they painful.