6.23.06
4:07 PM
Today I went to the Times Square Toys Backwards R Us to pick up Monopoly. There are 181 different versions of Monopoly (25th Anniversary Edition, 70th Anniversary Edition, 100 Years of Aviation History Edition, Lords of the Rings Edition, Star Wars Edition, Family Guy Edition…); I just went with the original where the boot is the boot and not Chewbacca (p.s. “Chewbacca” is in Microsoft Word’s dictionary. Awesome.) I came to the conclusion that Toys Backwards R Us is hell for bad children. Except all the toys are sharp and hot. And Geoffrey the Giraffe penetrates them with his long, blue, sandpapery tongue, treating their soft genitals like bark.
I also realized how ghetto that store is. Then again, Times Square, hello…HELLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
After I left I had a hankering for Red Lobster… and slaves.