6.6.06
8:49 PM
So this resident calls me (not for the first time) to complain about some damn thing. She says, “There is something VERY wrong here…” in a don’t-think-you-can-put-one-over-on-me tone of voice, then she pauses for effect. Never one to waste a silence, I ask, “Something specific or is it just a feeling of general malaise?” and she hangs up on me. If trying to clarify a vague statement made by some cantankerous bitch in a smarmy fashion makes me an asshole, well then fine, I’m an asshole, but at least I’m not a whiny resident at a shitty, badly run hospital. Ha!

Also, I did this…

Party Time
Or
Inchoate Darkness

Bawls out party time.
Tying my dick around my neck party time.
Impregnating the dead party time.
Pissing down my leg, off my toe and onto an ugly baby party time.
Ejaculating into the milk only to discover it isn’t milk, but a whole lot of ejaculate party time.
Wolverine in the South Hamptons party time.
Duck Tuxedo party time.
Note to self: Don’t order the cheese fries from Steak & Hoagies party time.
Sitting quietly whilst reading a book party time.
Considering buying Hitman: Blood Money but hesitating because I spent a lot of money on Chris’ B-Day and if I keep spending money I’ll never make any party time.
Considering buying those Dragon Fastback’s but hesitating for the same reason party time.
Hand cramping from writing so long party time.
The stabilizing force in the Universe is the scaly shit in between my toes party time.
Incomprehensible immigrants party time.
Deep-seded spelling error racism party time.
Intercontinental Rock God party time.
Running out of ideas party time.
Erectile dysfunction party time.
Time not fucking moving fast enough party time.
Baboon Rape Party party time.
Marilyn Manson has lost his mind and ate my balls party time.
Waste of paper party time.
Going to stop this pretty soon party time.
Twiggy in make up party time.
Backflipping Dixie Chicks party time.
Getting Up to Get Down party time.
Chex Mix party time.
Cheerios in Beer(ios) party time.
Pie stand party time.
Impromptu poetry party time.
Oleous discharge from the Anus party time.
Revisiting backflipping Dixie Chicks party time.
Sussingham cell phone party time.
100 pizzas party time.
200 Cigarettes party time.
At least $4,000 (four thousand dollars—it looks bigger spelled out) coming in soon party time.
Crossing guards, fingers and legs we break $10,000 (make that ten thousand dollars) party time.
Latoya (yes, for real, Latoya) is gone party time.
So am I party time.

Party T. Guyet