It has come to my attention that many of my close personal acquaintances have jobs where they do nothing all day but sit behind a desk, whine about how much their lives suck and get paid cash money to “surf the Net”. Although my first instinct is to kill you all, I am not going to obey my first instinct because, as my therapist says, “Your first instinct is always to kill, don’t follow it.” So, in the interest of all of you shutting up about how you make sooo much money for doing noooothing all day and it’s sooooo boring just cashing these checks and taking company cars to casinos and to buffets and ow, the bacon on this avocado, chicken and seasoned mayonnaise club sandwich cut my gums, I am going to do my damndest to have something on the Lizive Jizournal every goddamn day in efforts to cork your collective cry-hole.
To start you off, there’s a guy named Edward Gorey, he’s dead. When he wasn’t dead he was like Poe but only if Poe was illiterate and could only draw things. The following words were used in a piece he did called “The Chinese Obelisk”. Try and use any of the…less familiar…?...terms in your everyday life…possibly at your life/soul/mind sucking day jobs? Hmmm? And see just how much of an asshole you are considered:
“Yeah Judy, I think the coffee machine breaking down on Monday was the last piacle I can handle. I’m burning this fucking building down.”
“I can’t believe I came in to work today! I have a temperature of 102! Well, I guess I’ll just rely on that febrifuge and suck it up even though I’m ONLY getting like seventeen dollars an hour. I wonder if anyone’s updated their Live Journal…”
“Grag! I am so sick of the copy boy’s accismus! He told me yesterday he’d love to put whipped cream on my frappe and I thought I was in for sure, but then he came back an hour later with a frappe…covered in whipped cream! What the heck, Liz, you know? Maybe he loves a-the cock.”
Just a few fun fun examples of how you could possibly use these. Incidentally, I have planned the opening ceremony of my 23rd Birthday party: It shall take place on Saturday the 24th of January at the Hooters around 57th and 7th. From there? Who knows, but there’s a lot of people on the guest list. Here we go:
Alan
Allyson
B.J.
Belle
Christina A. (Joe)
Christina B. (Paul)
Dave (Christy)
Denise
Gia
Giancarlo
Ginny
Heather (Boy)
Hillary (Boy)
Jen
Jenn
Jon
Josh
Kady
Kaitlyn
Kathy
Kerry
Lauren (Ray)
Len
Lisa (Mark)
Maura
Marco
Marlena (Will)
Megan
Mike (Alex)
Pete (Barbara)
Rachel
Ruth
Ryan (Marielle)
Sara (Bill)
Sarah (Jason)
Shelly
Taryn (John)
Taylor
Todd
Trevor
That there is what the philosophers call “the ideal”; See, ideally, these fifty-four people will arrive at Hooters during the vespertine hours of January 24th, but I’m sure there are some people who don’t like other people on this list and, if you feel I like you more than them, come to me and we’ll find out, although if you do come to me and I don’t talk to you again until after my Birthday…it turns out I like them better, at least in a party setting anyway. Concordantly, if there is anyone or ones you think I have overlooked, let me know, if they are added to this list, I agreed with you, if not, you will not hear from me until after my Birthday.
Expected: 54
Predicted: 14 (6 of which will not stay the whole night for some stupid reason or another)
Note please that Hooters is just the start of the evening and I have yet to create the rest of the turmoil, but I will because that’s what I do. I will keep this list as close to the “real” as possible. Also want to add a list of people I wish could come but most likely can’t because of some sort of spacial discrepancy (although that’s not a very good excuse):
Jade
Leah
Phil
Will
All right, on with making you all less bored. Along with the defined words, you’ll find some that are not defined, bonus not-bored points if you can break out a dictionary and define them. Injoi:
archipelago
A large group of islands: the Philippine archipelago.
A sea, such as the Aegean, containing a large number of scattered islands.
cardamon
A rhizomatous Indian herb (Elettaria cardamomum) having capsular fruits with aromatic seeds used as a spice or condiment.
The seed of this plant.
Any of several plants of the related genus Amomum, used as a substitute for cardamom.
obloquy
Abusively detractive language or utterance; calumny: “I have had enough obloquy for one lifetime” (Anthony Eden).
The condition of disgrace suffered as a result of abuse or vilification; ill repute.
tacks
A short, light nail with a sharp point and a flat head.
Nautical.
A rope for holding down the weather clew of a course.
A rope for hauling the outer lower corner of a studdingsail to the boom.
The part of a sail, such as the weather clew of a course, to which this rope is fastened.
The lower forward corner of a fore-and-aft sail.
The position of a vessel relative to the trim of its sails.
The act of changing from one position or direction to another.
The distance or leg sailed between changes of position or direction.
A course of action meant to minimize opposition to the attainment of a goal.
An approach, especially one of a series of changing approaches.
A large, loose stitch made as a temporary binding or as a marker.
Stickiness, as that of a newly painted surface
Ignavia
samisen
A Japanese musical instrument resembling a lute, having a very long neck and three strings played with a plectrum.
bandages
A strip of material such as gauze used to protect, immobilize, compress, or support a wound or injured body part.
wax
To increase gradually in size, number, strength, or intensity.
To show a progressively larger illuminated area, as the moon does in passing from new to full.
To grow or become as specified: “could afford... to wax sentimental over their heritage” (John Simon).
Any of various natural, oily or greasy heat-sensitive substances, consisting of hydrocarbons or esters of fatty acids that are insoluble in water but soluble in nonpolar organic solvents.
Beeswax.
Cerumen.
A solid plastic or pliable liquid substance, such as ozocerite or paraffin, originating from petroleum and found in rock layers and used in paper coating, as insulation, in crayons, and often in medicinal preparations.
A preparation containing wax used for polishing floors and other surfaces.
A resinous mixture used by shoemakers to rub on thread. A phonograph record. Something suggestive of wax in being impressionable or readily molded
gavelkind
An English system of land tenure from Anglo-Saxon times to 1926 that provided for the equal division of land among all qualified heirs.
turmeric
A widely cultivated tropical plant (Curcuma domestica) of India, having yellow flowers and an aromatic, somewhat fleshy rhizome. The powdered rhizome of this plant, used as a condiment and a yellow dye. Any of several other plants having similar rhizomes
imbat
cedilla
A mark ( ¸ ) placed beneath the letter c, as in the spelling of the French word garçon, to indicate that the letter is to be pronounced (s).
cassation
Abrogation or annulment by a higher authority
hendiadys
A figure of speech in which two words connected by a conjunction are used to express a single notion that would normally be expressed by an adjective and a substantive, such as grace and favor instead of gracious favor.
quincunx
An arrangement of five objects with one at each corner of a rectangle or square and one at the center.
vanilla
Any of various tropical American vines of the genus Vanilla in the orchid family, especially V. planifolia, cultivated for its long narrow seedpods from which a flavoring agent is obtained. The seedpod of this plant. Also called vanilla bean. A flavoring extract prepared from the cured seedpods of this plant or produced synthetically
corposant
An electrical discharge accompanied by ionization of surrounding atmosphere
madrepore
Any of various stony corals of the order Madreporaria, which includes the reef builders of tropical seas
ophicleide
A keyed brass instrument of the bugle family with a baritone range that was the structural precursor of the bass saxophone and was replaced by the tuba in orchestras.
paste
A soft, smooth, thick mixture or material, as:
A smooth viscous mixture, as of flour and water or of starch and water, that is used as an adhesive for joining light materials, such as paper and cloth.
The moist clay or clay mixture used in making porcelain or pottery. Also called pâte.
A smooth dough of water, flour, and butter or other shortening, used in making pastry.
A food that has been pounded until it is reduced to a smooth creamy mass: anchovy paste.
A sweet doughy candy or confection: rolled apricot paste.
A hard, brilliant, lead-containing glass used in making artificial gems.
A gem made of this glass. Also called strass
jequirity
The seed of the wild licorice (Abrus precatorius) used by the people of India for beads in rosaries and necklaces, as a standard weight, etc
tombola
(British) a lottery in which tickets are drawn from a revolving drum
sphagnum
Any of various pale or ashy mosses of the genus Sphagnum, the decomposed remains of which form peat.
distaste
Dislike or aversion
aceldema
“field of blood” A place with dreadful associations. In the New Testament, a potter's field near Jerusalem purchased by the priests as a burial ground for strangers with the reward that Judas had received for betraying Jesus and had later returned to them.
lunistice
The farthest point of the moon's northing and southing, in its monthly revolution.
yarborough
A bridge or whist hand containing no honor cards.
cranium
The skull of a vertebrate.
The portion of the skull enclosing the brain; the braincase
febrifuge
A medication that reduces fever; an antipyretic
ampersand
The word ampersand is a conflation (combination) of "and, per se and". Per se means "by itself", and so the phrase translates to "&, standing by itself, means 'and'". This was at the end of the alphabet as it was recited by children in old English schools. The words ran together and were associated with "&". The "ampersand" spelling dates from 1837.
hubris
Overbearing pride or presumption; arrogance
geranium
Any of various plants of the genus Geranium, having palmately divided leaves and pink or purplish flowers. Also called cranesbill.
Any of various plants of the genus Pelargonium, native chiefly to southern Africa and widely cultivated for their rounded, often variegated leaves and showy clusters of red, pink, or white flowers. Also called storksbill.
A strong to vivid red.
opopanax
An odorous gum resin formerly used in medicines
thunder
To emit with noise and terror; to utter vehemently; to publish, as a threat or denunciation.
dismemberment
To cut, tear, or pull off the limbs of. To divide into pieces
baize
An often bright-green cotton or woolen material napped to imitate felt and used chiefly as a cover for gaming tables.
hellebore
Any of various plants of the genus Helleborus, native to Eurasia, most species of which are poisonous. Any of various plants of the genus Veratrum, especially V. viride of North America, having large leaves and greenish flowers and yielding a toxic alkaloid used medicinally
oleous
Oily
cartilage
A tough, elastic, fibrous connective tissue found in various parts of the body, such as the joints, outer ear, and larynx. A major constituent of the embryonic and young vertebrate skeleton, it is converted largely to bone with maturation
maze
A wild fancy; a confused notion. [Obs.] --Chaucer.
Confusion of thought; perplexity; uncertainty; state of bewilderment.
A confusing and baffling network, as of paths or passages; an intricacy; a labyrinth.
antigropelos
piacle
A heinous offense which requires expiation
occamy
[A corruption of alchemy.] An alloy imitating gold or silver.
whistle
To produce a clear musical sound by forcing air through the teeth or through an aperture formed by pursing the lips.
To produce a clear, shrill, sharp musical sound by blowing on or through a device.
To produce a high-pitched sound when moving swiftly through the air: The stone whistled past my head.
To produce a high-pitched sound by the rapid movement of air through an opening or past an obstruction: Wind whistled through the cracks in the windows.
To emit a shrill, sharp, high-pitched cry, as some birds and other animals.
maremma
accismus
Affected refusal; coyness.
badigeon
A cement or distemper paste (as of plaster and powdered freestone, or of sawdust and glue or lime) used by sculptors, builders, and workers in wood or stone, to fill holes, cover defects, etc.
epistle
A letter, especially a formal one. A literary composition in the form of a letter. Epistle Bible.
One of the letters included as a book in the New Testament.
An excerpt from one of these letters, read as part of a religious service
quodlibet
A theological or philosophical issue presented for formal argument or disputation.
Formal disputation of such an issue.
Music. A usually humorous medley.
catafalque
A decorated platform or framework on which a coffin rests in state during a funeral. Roman Catholic Church. A coffin-shaped structure draped with a pall, used to represent the corpse at a requiem Mass celebrated after the burial
hiccup
a. A spasm of the diaphragm resulting in a rapid, involuntary inhalation that is stopped by the sudden closure of the glottis and accompanied by a sharp, distinctive sound.
2. hiccups also hiccoughs An attack of these spasms. Often used with the.
1. The sound made by such a spasm or a sound resembling it
remorse
The anguish, like gnawing pain, excited by a sense of guilt; compunction of conscience for a crime committed, or for the sins of one's past life.
Sympathetic sorrow; pity; compassion
idioticon
A dictionary of a peculiar dialect, or of the words and phrases peculiar to one part of a country; a glossary.
gibus
botargo
A sort of cake or sausage, made of the salted roes of the mullet, much used on the coast of the Mediterranean as an incentive to drink.
divorce
The legal dissolution of a marriage. A complete or radical severance of closely connected things.
phylactery
Judaism. Either of two small leather boxes, each containing strips of parchment inscribed with quotations from the Hebrew Scriptures, one of which is strapped to the forehead and the other to the left arm; traditionally worn by Jewish men during morning worship, except on the Sabbath and holidays.
An amulet.
A reminder
gegenschein
An exceedingly faint roundish or somewhat oblong nebulous light near the ecliptic and opposite the sun, best seen during September and October, when in the constellations Sagittarius and Pisces. Its cause is not yet understood.
clavicle
Either of two slender bones in humans that extend from the manubrium of the sternum to the acromion of the scapula. One of the bones of the pectoral girdle in many vertebrates
sago
A powdery starch obtained from the trunks of certain sago palms and used in Asia as a food thickener and textile stiffener
bellonion
thurible
A censer used in certain ecclesiastical ceremonies or liturgies
aphthong
A letter, or a combination of letters, employed in spelling a word, but in the pronunciation having no sound
plumbago
Same as Graphite.
(Bot.) A genus of herbaceous plants with pretty salver-shaped corollas, usually blue or violet; leadwort.
amaranth
Any of various annuals of the genus Amaranthus having dense green or reddish clusters of tiny flowers and including several weeds, ornamentals, and food plants. Also called pigweed.
An imaginary flower that never fades.
A deep reddish purple to dark or grayish, purplish red.
A dark red to purple azo dye.
rhonchus
A coarse rattling sound somewhat like snoring, usually caused by secretion in a bronchial tube.
pantechnicon
A depository or place where all sorts of manufactured articles are collected for sale.
hymn
A song of praise or thanksgiving to God or a deity.
A song of praise or joy; a paean.
diaeresis
(Gram.) The separation or resolution of one syllable into two; -- the opposite of syn[ae]resis.
A mark consisting of two dots [[umlaut]], placed over the second of two adjacent vowels, to denote that they are to be pronounced as distinct letters; as, co["o]perate, a["e]rial.
purlicue
sparadrap
A cerecloth. [Obs.]
(Med.) Any adhesive plaster.
whim
A sudden or capricious idea; a fancy.
Arbitrary thought or impulse: governed by whim.
A vertical horse-powered drum used as a hoist in a mine
cicatrix
A scar left by the formation of new connective tissue over a healing sore or wound.
salsify
A European plant (Tragopogon porrifolius) having grasslike leaves, purple flower heads, and an edible taproot.
The root of this plant, eaten as a vegetable.
palindrome
A word, phrase, verse, or sentence that reads the same backward or forward. For example: A man, a plan, a canal, Panama!
A segment of double-stranded DNA in which the nucleotide sequence of one strand reads in reverse order to that of the complementary strand.
bosphorus
A strait or narrow sea between two seas, or a lake and a seas; as, the Bosporus (formerly the Thracian Bosporus) or Strait of Constantinople, between the Black Sea and Sea of Marmora; the Cimmerian Bosporus, between the Black Sea and Sea of Azof.
narthex
A portico or lobby of an early Christian or Byzantine church or basilica, originally separated from the nave by a railing or screen.
An entrance hall leading to the nave of a church.
betrayal
To give aid or information to an enemy of; commit treason against: betray one's country.
To deliver into the hands of an enemy in violation of a trust or allegiance: betrayed Christ to the Romans.
To be false or disloyal to: betrayed their cause; betray one's better nature. To divulge in a breach of confidence: betray a secret. To make known unintentionally: Her hollow laugh betrayed her contempt for the idea. To reveal against one's desire or will. To lead astray; deceive.
chalcedony
phosphorus
ligament
exequies
spandrel
chandoo
gehenna
etui
anamorphosis
glue
wapentake
orrery
aspic
mistrust
ichor
ganosis
velleity
dust
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