A review of David Byrne & St. Vincent's "Love This Giant"

Putting this right on front street: I only know a handful of Talking Heads songs (from the radio) and nothing of David Byrne's solo stuff except for one track off of the Future Soundtrack of America and his appearance on Space Ghost: Coast 2 Coast...which endeared me to him forever.
I am, however, a huge fan of St. Vincent, and I understand how singular and innovative and amazing Byrne is, and so I also understood how awesome it was that they were working on a project together.
And guess what? It turns out that project is pretty awesome.

The album started as bits and pieces sent back and forth between Annie Clark (St. Vincent) and Byrne; some music without vocals, some vocals without music. Over a period of about three years, they assembled Love This Giant, the instrumentation of which is built around an eight-piece brass band, with some drums, guitar and light programming thrown in to flesh out the mix. The album is split about fifty/fifty when it comes to St. Vincent and Byrne's contributions..
LTG opens strong and brash with "Who", an excellent way to usher in this experiment in horns and style and the collaboration of two amazing artists. The horns' interplay with the beat and vocalization is just perfect, and the accompanying music video is fantastic. One is required to boogie. After this, aside from the Clark helmed "Ice Age", the programming on which gets in the way and which never really goes anywhere but up in volume, the album stays well-crafted and vital, showing off the strong points of each artist beautifully.
The stand out tracks for me include "Weekend In The Dust" (which feels so sassy and snide and...I don't know...sunglasses in a dark room? Plus, the horns (as on the majority of the album) wind their way perfectly through the song), "Dinner For Two" (in which the overly paranoid lyrics are offset and made enjoyable by the horns' whimsy), "I Should Watch TV" (another Byrne-only contribution with some spectacular horn arrangement and his trademark rejection and ridicule of all things pop culture ("I used to think that I should watch TV/I used to think that it was good for me/wanted to know what folks were thinking/to understand the land I live in/and I would lose myself and it would set me free"). This one gets dark and epic right around the middle, then it's back to the jittering, driving electronics-laced horns), "Lazarus" (which starts off slow, but evolves into something grand thanks to some really excellent guitar, rife with Biblical language and references), "Lightning" (which has an almost dubby feel to it before it opens up into one of the best arrangements on this album), and "The One Who Broke Your Heart" (a manic, insane samba? Mambo? to which one must dance like a fiend so as to sweat so no one can see the tears rolling from one's eyes. Laughing and crying at the same time.).
This truly amazing album comes to a close with the soft and sweeping "Outside Of Space & Time", which, I think, could have used more St. Vincent, but, whatever, this whole project is about 93% solid gold and I have no right to complain.

Anyone remember Chris Cornell and Timbaland's bowle movement, Scream?
No?
Good.
Love This Giant is better.
Lots better.
Lots and lots and lots better. 
In fact, this might just be my favorite album of 2012.
So buy it, listen to it, and then go see them in concert (details and dates and such at www.lovethisgiant.com), because, if it's half as good as the album, it's probably going to be something people talk about for years to come.

End of the Month Music Bitchfest - June 2012

Nine Inch Nails
Balls.
Sweaty balls.

Beck
Aside from stunning the world by releasing TWO BRAND NEW ORIGINAL SONGS, Beck also did some old school rapping on a track called "Silk Pillow" with some guy named Childish Gambino.
I like Beck's part, but Mr. Gambino left me feeling unimpressed.
Probably because he wasn't Beck.
Beck has started his summer festivaling and, sadly, crushingly, there has been no...new...music nor any mention of any new music.
And my heart...BURNS...

They Might Be Giants
So, while Nine Inch Nails, Beck, Cake, Eels and TMBG are my favorite bands (despite John Flansburgh calling me a hipster on Twitter yesterday...although we resolved things eventually) and I tend not to really put them in order (although it's usually TMBG vs. NIN when I get down to brass tacks); let this serve as a warning to Nine Inch Nails...at this particular moment...They Might Be Giants has got you beat.
Now, how could that possibly happen?
Well...technically, I can't tell you, as I've been sworn to Fight-Club-esque secrecy as a member of the 2012 Instant Fan Club...but, seeing as there are three people that read this and none of them are in They Might Be Giants, I'll tell you...and only you.
A few weeks ago, Flans sent out an e-mail to all the IFC members telling them a surprise would be showing up in our Inboxes. A day or so later, he told us what it was: the complete demo sessions for John Henry*.
This is probably my favorite TMBG album, and, simply for being a member of the IFC, I was to receive alternate versions of the whole thing?
This, THIS is how one does a fan club.
To the casual listener, there's not a whole lot of difference between this demo album and the released version, but to sick people like myself, it's a completely different experience. Different instrument types, additional notes, alternate endings...Jesus what a brilliant surprise for us psychos.
Along with this unexpected boon, Flans tells us that our July IFC package, which contains, among other stuff, an unreleased live CD from their 2011 tour and two new exclusive 7" vinyls, one with versions of music from the new album and one with old and new covers, is almost complete.
Plus, the custom ringtones should be arriving as well.
Folks, please don't let me complain about They Might Be Giants ever again, 'kay (except for when they call me a hipster)? These guys are performing above and beyond what can be asked of a band.
And, on top of all this awesome, Flans is still tirelessly responding to practically EVERY question put to him on the IFC Tumblr site.
I'm actually running out of stuff to ask them.
Anyone have any questions they'd like to ask They Might Be Giants?


A while back, St. Vincent mentioned that she was working on an album with David Byrne of Talking Heads. At the time I thought, "that's probably going to sound pretty awesome." Well, early in June, Annie Clark sent out an e-mail formally announcing Love This Giant**, the aforementioned Clark/Byrne joint. She said they started by sending things back and forth; music without words, words without music etc. and that the whole thing was centered around working with a brass band. She also released a track from the project called "Who" (which is super funky), announced the release date (September 11th) AND an upcoming St. Vincent/David Byrne tour launching fall of 2012...which I won't be seeing because A. the Beacon blows cockass and B. I'm not going to a place that blows cockass for $125, thanks though.
To be honest, I don't know a lot of Talking Heads but this is definitely going to get me to check them out. I know they're supposed to be amazing and ground breaking and all that, so this should be pretty fun.
Hear the track, read about the concept and see the tour schedule as well as a creepy picture of the two of them over at the official site: Love This Giant

I also remembered this month that Mickey Avalon (co-creator of "My Dick") existed. I did a little looky looky at the clicky box box and, holy shit, as it turns out, he released a new album, Loaded, a few months ago. I immediately stuck my face in and, at first, was very unimpressed; only one of two of the eighteen tracks (kudos for making a full length album though) really got my attention, but, after going back to his first album and then returning to the new one, I began to dig some more stuff off it.
While this guy is never going to replace Eminem as the most talented white rapper in the world, he has some pretty catchy stuff.
Also, the manner in which he talks about how rich he is at the start of a sentence and how broke he is at the end of it is pretty amusing...sadly though, I think that may have more to do with lingering brain problems brought on by years of drug abuse and rough living.
If one were so inclined, one should feel good about checking out the following tracks for the following reasons:

• "Girlfriend" - Catchy chorus and a good beat. Fun, strong single.
• "On The..." - Great melody and a solid rap from Mr. Avalon.
• "California Crack Cocaine" - Despite the...less than radio friendly subject matter and maybe a few too many homages to other summer type songs, this could be your next summer jam. The only person standing in your way is YOU. Asshole.
• "Mickey's Girl" - You ever wonder what Mickey Avalon and Lou Reed would come up with? It's this. This song. The acoustic guitar is a delightful surprise.
• "Making Love" - I love the laughter in Avalon's voice on this one, it's infectious...like Avalon himself.
• "Take Me Home" - An excellent anthem with just enough cock rock guitar to make one almost pump their fist...but not quite.
• "Party In My Pants" - See the title? Good. We're done here.

Again, it isn't as strong as the first album, but there's a lot more to this, although I do miss Dirt Nasty AKA MTV VJ Simon Rex. If this album had its own "My Dick", it would be much better, but, alas, a "My Dick" comes once every generation or so...

Aside from that, I've just recently listened to the Inverse Phase project, Pretty Eight Machine.
It's...pretty niche, so I'll feel completely all right if you skip over this one.
Basically, this dude recreated all of Nine Inch Nails' debut album, Pretty Hate Machine, using eight different 8-bit systems.
If you don't know what that means, think of any music from the Nintendo Entertainment System...that's 8-bit. There is some pretty awesome stuff on there and it's worth a listen if you're A. into chiptune and/or B. into Nine Inch Nails...although, after I finished listening to it, I really just wanted to listen to Pretty Hate Machine...which I did.

And, finally, some great news on the Tweaker front: the new album is totally finished and has been turned in to their label for mastering! They have yet to announce a release date or album title or anything, but, judging by the old model of releasing records, I'd say we're looking at a pretty big Q2 2013 for Tweaker.****

That's all for now.
Screw.









*Almost complete, apparently the song "Stomp Box" didn't actually have a demo version.

**Which, for the LAST TIME is NOT ABOUT ME.***

***It's totally about me.

****Prove me wrong, Future Artists, prove me wrong.

End of the Month Music Bitchfest - January 2014

Nine Inch Nails
Some bittersweetness from/for Trent to start the new year...
Most of the bitterness was generated by the exclusive Beats Music remix EP with the stunningly original title Seed Eight (Remix 2014 EP).
Phew.
75% mung.
 100% shrug.
My review's here.

Then, there was the catastrophic "fuck you" to Nine Inch Nails, Queens of the Stone Age, Dave Grohl and Lindsey Buckingham perpetrated by the Grammys. In a nutshell, these artists shared a stage for the finale of the Grammys...only to be preempted for a word from our sponsors.
Ouch.
Honestly though, no one gives a shit about the Grammys.

Then there's the big one: Reznor and Ross are teaming up, once again, to create another score for another David Fincher film, this time it's Gone Girl, about which I know nothing.
It's a book.
The upside to another score is that we know exactly when the film is set to come out (October 3rd, 2014) so we KNOW the new music will have to be out by then (or thereabouts).
The downside is that it's not Nine Inch Nails.
I'd rather have a new HTDA album than a new score (no matter how many discs there are).
I'm also hoping that Reznor and Ross get out of their studio for this one. I've enjoyed the last two scores very much, but I'd like to see something completely different this time around, not just the two of them using the knobs and buttons across the room from the ones they used on Social Network and TGWTDT.

Beck
Well, I still don't quite believe it, but, next time you hear from me, I guess we'll talk more about that.
Until that moment...apparently the new Beck album, Morning Phase*, is coming out on the 25th of February, same day as the new St. Vincent. The first single, "Blue Moon" has been released and it's real good. I was concerned that it would sound like any of the random bits and pieces he's been releasing for the past six years, but it feels...weightier, more important. It's hard to explain. Take a listen and get really excited.

Eels
New album, song, tracklist and album art just announced!
Based on the cover, title and first single, this might just be a bit of a personal record for E.
And a bit stripped down, musically.
Although, I've been misled before by Eels, so I'm going to try and sit tight until there's more to, you know, actually listen to.
I don't love what I've heard thus far though.
I do love that there's going to be a deluxe version with a second disc consisting of 7 non-album tracks and 6 live tracks from the recent tour.
Here's the trailer and the first single, "Agatha Chang".


The second new St. Vincent track (and its slightly creepy, entertainment-industry-in-Orwell's-1984 music video), "Digital Witness", has been released and boy oh boy has David Byrne been influencing our little Annie, both in sound and in content.
This new track could be a follow up to their song from Love This Giant, "I Should Watch TV".
Something I am super okay with. Here's the video.
On pins and needles for this album to drop.
More on that in a month.

So, I've been trying out Beats Music, not because I'm a huge fan of all things streaming and need to be on the cutting edge of such things,  but because Trent told me to.
Got to say, I don't really care.
Sory Trent.
Sorry Dre.
If you love being lazy and indecisive about what music you listen to and want to have a different computer algorithm do this for you, head on over and give it a whirl.

Also, as there were a whole bunch of "Best Of" lists circulating at the start of the month, I decided to jump right in, eyes shut, mouth open and drink in some pop culture, specifically what the culture thought was popular.

I ended up listening to:

•  the latest Bonobo, The North Borders, which I didn't care for 
• the latest Childish Gambino, Because The Internet, which, while it had some interesting moments and sonics on it, I didn't really care for
• Overgrown, by James Blake, which I liked very much. His voice reminds me a bit of a more polished Thom Yorke and the sparseness and coldness of the album created some great depth and mood. Plus, a love song with RZA? Not that that makes up for his crazy line about rape in "The Baddest Man Alive".
• The Lorde album the song "Royals" is on, which was nothing special, although that song is veritable ear herpes.
• the new Vampire Weekend, which was pretty damn worthy of all the best album fanfare. I haven't liked anything else of theirs ever (that I remember), but this is just so fresh and joyful and open. Really well crafted stuff. Cannot fight with this one.** Going to have to give these guys another listen.
• The latest release from The National, Trouble Will Find Me. While I didn't really love their last one, this one is pretty solid, with a few amazing stand outs (namely "Demons", "This Is The Last Time","I Need My Girl" and "Humiliation"). Sad bastardry done right.

And, finally, on the 25th, I saw Mother Feather at the Bowery Ballroom, my second show of theirs. God damn can these women rock cocks. Aside from the awesome show, they had copies of their new, unreleased EP, Living Breathing available. After getting into them this last year, the anticipation of this EP might have trumped that of some of my favorite bands.

I think it's a combination of knowing the people creating this music and the fact that the music is fucking tight. This isn't some obligatory/courtesy thumbs up for some people I went to college with.  Ann and Lizzie are awesome at this shit, they've got it nailed down.

You can read my sincere outpouring and review of both the show and the new EP here.

And that's it.
Still working on my BITCHWISHLIST.
Next time I spit words at you, there's going to be a new Beck album AND a new St. Vincent album.
Wow.





* Or Sea Change 2 if all the articles and album cover are to be believed.

** And, in case you think I'm going to pout over NIN losing to Vampire Weekend, I'm not. I'm a pragmatist when it comes to these things. There's no way that the best Nine Inch Nails album in history will ever beat anything by Vampire Weekend. They have too much street cred and popular appeal. I'm comfortable with that, if a bit bummed.

NUTSHELLS

Over the break, I soaked my face in mucho media.
Then I did this.

God Bless America
Eight soliliquies (no, that's too poetic; let's just call a spade a spade and go with "rants") about how shitty pop culture and celebrities and everything else has gotten in this country interspersed with some graphic, gory violence. Bobcat spent a month watching the worst shit on TV and then just made a movie about how obviously bad it all is and then he killed it. Cheap and easy. Of course, we want to kill these people; reality TV stars, inconsiderate neighbors, screaming, idiot protestors, uber-Republican loud mouths, people being assholes at movie theaters...we've all written/acted in/seen this movie every day of our lives.
Anyway, there are some funny moments, but not enough.
Oh, and the moment when after the super-articulate and deep and wise-beyond-her-years teenager has a rant about what "real" and "good" music is and then get mad at the guy for calling her Juno...doesn't mean she isn't talking and acting like Juno, Bobcat.

Barbarella
Okay, you've seen the Flash Gordon movie from 1980? This makes that look like JFK.
I have NEVER had an erection this confused in my LIFE.
I want to track down the source material; the, no doubt, sexy French comic books, and just see what in the sopping wet FUCK is (supposed to be) going on here.
Also, SO MANY THINGS borrowed or just stole from this thing, I'd name a few, but I'm worried that thinking too hard about this will cause me to disintegrate and end up floating in that giant bong.
Jesus what a mindfuck.

Ghostbusters
Perfection, as always.

Halloween 2
I was astonished at how much better than the first film this was...really. There were still a heckuva lot of horror movie tropes, but there was ethos and pathos and other Greek words. Some weirdness as Michael sort of became a mountain man for a while*, but then he started killing again and having weird dreams about his dead mom and things go from there. Great sound design and, at one point, there is a huge backwods Halloween Jamboree (less redneck than I'm making it sound) where these three hot chicks dress up like Magenta, Columbia and Farnk N. Furter, and, guys, the chick dressed as Frank had me all in a tizzy.
I think I'm gay for Tim Curry.
Thanks, Rob.

Men In Black 3
Everyone said this made up for the second movie and it does. Really well done, although I would have liked a bit more time at MIB headquarters, I love the world they've made and I love spending time in it.
And Boris was so ulike himself I was giddy. Solid all the way round.
Although I'd love David Werner coming back as an evil Alpha like on the cartoon.

The Lion King
It was a gift for Christina.
It still works.
I'm 13 again and singing along with every song and bawling about a dead animated lion.

Resident Evil: Retribution
coming soon

Sons of Anarchy (season 5)
How can I watch a whole season (in two days) and STILL feel like NOTHING happened?
I mean, stuff DID happen, several folks died, allegences were shifted and there was some really great character stuff as well, but there is so much threatneing and then backing down (for good reasons or not)! I'd like to see the final season of this show, when Kurt Sutter has noting left to lose...that is when the stakes are going to rise for me.

Dexter (season 7)
Some might say that this show has been entirely pointless up until the last fifteen seconds of season 6. I...kind of agree. The problem with all these shows that are based solely on the kernal of "someone has a secret and no one can ever find out", shows like Weeds, The Riches, Breaking Bad and Big Love, is that they sometimes have a habit of exposing the secret...and then completely eradicating the person or people to whom the secret was exposed, thus making the entire season a sort of "it was alll a dream" thing. Which is sloppy as hell. But, SPOLIERS, when they FINALY expose Dexter's plot-centric secret to a character that CANNOT simply be eradicated...well, things do get kind of interesting. Although, much like SOA, I still feel like nothing has happened. Well, you know what they say, "eighth time's the charm".
Django Unchained
Wowie wow wow. I will watch Christoph Waltz in anything; you just can't tea your eyes away from him! And Jamie Foxx? Man, has he come a long way from In Living Color. While this is yet another revenge flick from Tarentino, I like his revenge flicks and, even though it's not Kill Bill, it was almost up there for me. One of the best performances by Samuel L. Jackson in a Tarentino film since Pulp Fiction.

Inglorious Basterds
After seeing Unchained, I wanted more Waltz.
Didn't love it the first time, didn't love it this time.
QT takes too long to tell a story that's too short. Not enough of the good stuff, too much of the bad stuff.
The jumps see a bit weird as well. We meet the Basterds ancd, next thing we know, they've killed dozens. There's a pervasive feeling that something is missing, and the ending is way too abrupt.
But, again, Waltz and Pitt are pure rocky gold.

Moonrise Kingdom
Oh, Wes Anderson! If there is ever a director and writer as Wes Andersony as you...well, I just don't know.
Troubled children acting like awkward little adults? Check.
Major Hollywood actors being cast against type? Check.
Some crazy cinematography? Check.
Bill Murray? Check.
This has everything a Wes Anderason movie needs and I enjoyed it thoroughly. Honestly, I can't think of anything else to say about it.
Oh, no, wait, I know! The kids he cast give me hope for this generation of child actors.
Other than that...? You keep makin' 'em, Wes, and I'll keep watching 'em.









* For all you wondering what Michael Myers looks like under the mask...he look likes John Balance...at least according to Rob Zombie.

End of the Month Music Bitchfest - October 2012

Eels

POSTED ON THE OFFICIAL EELS WEB SITE:

10/19/12: Hi.

HE'S NOT DEAD!!!!!
WOOOOOOO!!!!!

And, if that wasn't exciting enough (which it TOTALLY was), on October 22nd, a BRAND NEW EELS ALBUM WAS ANNOUNCED!!!!
It's called Wonderful, Glorious* and is slated for release on February 5th, 2013.
Here is a link to the full album write-up from the official web site.

Below is the cover art and track list.

01  bombs away
02  kinda fuzzy
03  accident prone
04  peach blossom
05  on the ropes
06  the turnaround
07  new alphabet
08  stick together
09  true original
10  open my present
11  you're my friend
12  i am building a shrine
13  wonderful, glorious

I am...SO unutterably happy a.) that E is not dead and b.) that, after his first contact with the outside world in OVER A YEAR, three days later, he drops a track list, cover art and a release date. Boom. THAT, my friends, is how it's fucking done. None of this cryptic, blurry image, "I'm very excited to be working on something I can't tell you about ever and you won't hear for a decade and which might not even be real but would be really cool if it was but anyway it's due out in 2022 for sure maybe unless I have two fucking kids" bullshit.
Fucking boom.
I'll see you in February, E.
I look forward to two singles and a music video before then.
PRAISE JESUS! E IS NOT DEAD!!!!

Aaaaand, speaking of the aforementioned cryptic, blurry, etc. etc. bullshit...


Nine Inch Nails

Something. Is actually. Finally. Happening.
And I'm going to mercilessly criticize it and tear it down because it isn't exactly what I want, when I want it.
Let's do this.

First off, some Trenty Reznory business.

On October 16th, Trent posted the following on his Facebook page:

Some of you may have read that I have begun working with Beats By Dre. For the past year I have indeed been involved with Dre, Jimmy Iovine, Luke Wood, and the rest of the team on a number of very interesting projects that will start to emerge next year. I have been wanting to experiment and focus my energy and creativity in some different directions, and Beats has afforded me that very opportunity. The process has been challenging and fascinating and as much as I'd like to tell you about the things we've dreamed up... I just can't. 

Not yet...

(I can tell you it's probably not what you're expecting!)

Great.
Another nebulous, potentially non-existent thing to look forward to and then ask about in twelve years only to have Reznor smile knowingly and say "soon" to. WHY are you teasing things THIS FAR OUT?! If you have no details to share, fucking keep your god damn mouth shut!! Remember that Year Zero HBO mini-series he was working on? Since 2007? No? THAT'S BECAUSE IT DOESN'T EXIST ANYMORE.

We'll all be long dead before any Nine Inch Nails/Dre collabo drops.
Truth.


And now, here's a little fuckrant I've entitled: How to destroy expectations_ "A fuckrant_"

On October 8th, Zane Lowe's ridiculous show over on BBC 1 debuted a brand new How to destroy angels_** track from their upcoming EP, "An omen EP_"***, entitled, "Keep it together".
While I enjoy the textures and the juxtaposition between the thudding, sludgy bass swamp and Mariqueen's glassy, almost birdlike voice, it reminds me of both "BBB" and "The Believers", and I wish it had kept evolving rather than just repeating the middle of itself.
And that's all I'm saying about the song.****
You can watch what might be the most exciting music video ever for "Keep it together" here.*****
Reznor also had a little phone chat with Lowe, during which Zane practically begging Reznor to reveal anything, which he did not.
But...what could he possibly reveal that we can't intuit from his signing with Columbia?
Now that he is back on a major label, a whole lot of mystery has been removed from HTDA.
When you are independent, you can release a song, video or entire album with, literally, no notice whatsoever.
You update your site with a link, then post on Twitter that "fans should probably head over to whatever.com for a surprise", and I fucking LOVE that freedom. I LOVE being surprised by stuff like that and Reznor LOVES doing it.
But, now he's back on a label...
The biggest downsides I can see that come with signing to a major label, from a fan's perspective, are the time between "this album is done" and "here is the album" and also the rigidity of the release schedule. The release schedule for the new HTDA album, coming in "early 2013", was probably written down and signed  and approved by dozens of people not even tangentially associated with the creation of the band or the music, months ago.
The release cycle officially began a few weeks ago with the announcement of the EP and the official website update.
From this point on, everything is on rails and has a date next to it.

Image #4 (wires and soundboard w/microphone):
to be posted no later than 00:00:00 EST 10/11/12

           Dave Sitek remix of "Keep it together":
    to be posted no later than 15:19:00 EST 10/18/12

    In-studio video clip #2 feat. sound loop B    (w/Mariqueen's fingernails):
    to be posted no later than 00:00:00 EST 11/02/12

Etc.
And, you remember back in July when Reznor said "we are doing a different type of distribution this time so it's taking a bit longer to coordinate stuff"?
Well.
Get ready to have your brains exploded from the backs of your heads.
The day after its debut on BBC 1 and their official website and Pitchfork and YouTube and everything else...one could purchase this song in a format called "mp3" from an Internet store front called Amazon.com...
I'll give you a second to recover, catch your breath and all that.
That's right, Trent Reznor/Nine Inch Nails/How to destroy angels_/ultra-innovative, bleeding edge music distribution technology fans! The future is...when was Amazon.com founded? 1997? 1995?
The future is 1995!!!!
*sigh*
As I said before: you aren't going to reinvent the wheel of music distribution here, so just get the music to the people that want to hear it.
As much as I enjoy HTDA and NIN and Reznor and all that, I do grasp that this is NOT for everybody. Honestly, who saw one of those clips with the big fuzzy guitar noise or the menacing buzzy thing or the disinterested looking dude playing bass and was like, "this, THIS is what I've been waiting for!!!"?
And, even if they did, they saw it, did some searching on the Internet and then discovered that this cool sound loop is indicative of something not coming out for over a year!
I don't know...Reznor just seems to be fighting himself when it comes to all this release date calenderization.
It's a shitty place for an artist: either you're indie and get all the freedom in the world, including the freedom to have no one hear your music EVER or you lock in with a huge, dying, cash-hemorrhaging record label staffed with people that see you as ink on a spreadsheet but who will get you interviews with the hottest new MTV VJ there is...and you STILL might end up not having anyone listen to your shit!
This is why I only make/release really bad stuff, because, that way, I'll never have to worry about any of this bullshit.

Anyway.
The new How to destroy angels_ EP, "An omen EP_"****** is set for release no later than 00:00:00 11/13/12.
Make sure to check it out, or they won't shift any units and the grandad robots will powder their eggs into chicken baskets what?


Beck

Beck did a remix (although this is so much more than a remix) of Philip Glass' "NYC: 73-78" which "includes snippets from more than 20 Glass songs, which (he) cut together and re-imagined". It's over 20 minutes long and it's one of the reasons I still haven't written this space case motherfucker off. You can check it out here. It's pretty amazing.

And, he announced recently that artists "known and unknown" would be recording the twenty songs off his new "album", Song Reader.
Not him though.
Never him.


They Might Be Giants

Nothing on the music front (unless you count the fact that I got the two superspecialexclusive IFC vinyls converted to .wavs...and I do. With their next vinyl mailing thrown in alongside the 2011 and other 2012 musical offerings, there's actually going to be about an albums worth of completely original TMBG music for those in the IFC. Worth. The money.), but there has been some movement on the Pizza Front.
Which is a thing.
I just made up.
So, do any of you recall that I shot, directed and starred in a They Might Be Giants video for their song "Can't Keep Johnny Down"?
Of course you don't. Neither did fucking John Hodgman.
Hang on.
*breath*
Okay, so They Might Be Giants put up a contest to make your own video for their new single. The grand prize winner would receive a thousand dollars and a pizza from John Hodgman, as he was to be the sole judge of said contest. Long story short, I was chosen by Hodgman as one of the runners up ("Best Use of Polaroids") and I was to receive a free t-shirt from TMBG and a free pizza from John Hodgman. The contest ended in July of 2011. I have yet to receive my pizza. I've tweeted Hodgman and he told me to e-mail him. I emailed him and he never responded. I e-mailed him again, and he continued to not respond. Jump forward to about a week ago.
I figure, since they thought up the contest and, as a member of the IFC, I have direct access to them, that I should take the matter upstairs, as it were.
So, I explained the situation to Flans and asked if he could do anything.
Guys, I didn't expect anything.
Flans asks me the address of the pizza place and what day I want the pizza.
I told him around 8 pm on Saturday night..
And it did not happen.
I blame both Hodgman and Hurricane Sandy.
But the hurricane is over, Hodgman, and I want my fucking pizza.



In more Trent Reznor related news*******, he, Atticus Ross and Alessandro Cortini remixed a track by Ladytron wannabes, Telepathe, as a favor to Dave Sitek (of TV On The Radio) who is starting his own label, Federal Prism.
I feel bad for Telepathe because everyone is going to check out the TR/AR/AC remix of "Destroyer", then check out their album (coming early next year) and then ignore the album and go back to the remix, wishing all the while that Reznor had produced it.
SO bittersweet...
The Sitek remix (which might serve as the album version, I'm not sure) is pretty good, but Reznor and friends' mix is outstanding, starting off kind of annoying with metallic blips backing up the bland vocals, and then evolving into something that Telepathe will never be on their own.
Anyone who has heard and enjoyed the Girl With The Dragon Tattoo score will dig this version a lot.
I'll keep an ear out for their upcoming stuff but don't be surprised if I never refer to these girls again.
Sorry.
Also, you misspelled "telepath".
Or "telepathy".

Marilyn Manson has a new video out for "Hey, Cruel World" that is sort of an ad for his tour I suppose?
It's a lot of live footage and close ups of him sticking his fingers in his mouth which, hopefully, he washed before this shoot because I honestly can't think of anything dirtier than Marilyn Manson's hands. Nothing really interesting going on, but there are some cool masks.

Next, the brand new tweaker album, Call The Time Eternity, came out on the 23rd.
You can read the review of this disappointing release here.

And, finally, thanks to Christina, I have been listening to Maximum Balloon, an collaboration between TV On The Radio's Dave Sitek and a bunch of folks, including Little Dragon and the rest of TVOTR. There is a lot of really great stuff on there, like "Tiger", which has the energy and boogie of a Prince song, "The Lesson" which is melodic, dark and hot, and "Apartment Wrestling", which must have been recorded during/right before the Love This Giant sessions, because it's SO David Byrne from Love This Giant that...aw man it's awesome. It came out in 2010 and somehow we missed it until just now, but we're happy to have it in our ears.

And, totally finally for real, I picked up the Philip Glass remix album (Rework) where that cool Beck thing is from, just today, October 31st, so I may or may not have something to say about that next month.
I don't really know much about Glass except for the fact that he likes notes to go up and down fast and frequently, so this could be an enlightening and confusing experience for me.
And.
That's it.





* Which has to be good because naming it as such opens it up for a lot of mockery if it isn't.

** Again, that's "How to destroy angels_", not "How To Destroy Angels". Because capitalizing all the letters at the beginning of each of the words in your band name and not have underscores is decidedly UN-indie. Make a note, assholes.

*** Ugh, fucking get over yourselves.


**** I can feel both your surprise and relief. You're welcome.

***** Slightly more exciting music video here.

****** Already done with this weird spelling/typeface bullshit...

******* One song and one remix?! This is a motherfucking avalanche of Trent Reznor!!!!

2013 BITCHWISHLIST

Bitch, bitch, bitch.
Kvetch, bitch, moan.
Piss, moan, whinge.
Whine, whine, bitch.

You get it.
I'm always whining about something.
Always.
Nothing seems to ever make me happy.

New Nine Inch Nails album?
Why isn't it out now?

New Beck album out NOW?
Why isn't it longer?

New, two-disc They Might Be Giants album out NOW?
It's not as good as their old stuff.

Cake releasing three double albums in three weeks starting NOW?
...we'll talk.

So.
What do I want?
What, if anything, would shut me the fuck up for two little minutes?
I will tell you.
Welcome to the Bitchwishlist for 2013.

Nine Inch Nails

Get a pen, motherfucker.

New HTDA LP
A double album preferably, if not, I want a FULL god damn disc of music, that's eighty minutes, dickface, not a second less.

The Goddamn Motherfucking Fragile Ultra Super Deluxe Edition*
And here is what I want on it:

• The full album, remastered and sounding better than ever
• A (full) disc of ALL the unreleased music from the recording sessions aka the Lost Fragile Tracks
• A Blu Ray with ANY and EVERY visual component relating to this era (Things Falling Apart, And All That Could Have Been), i.e.
•  Music videos (including the original, scrapped version of "The Day The World Went Away")
•  Promo materials (web videos, behind the scenes, teasers)
• Full versions of the Fragility v1.0 and v2.0 specials
• A documentary on the making of the album**
• Photo gallery containing unused artwork, magazine covers, web site image archives and the like
• Packaging to match that of the Ghosts I-IV deluxe edition
• All video in HD
• All audio also mixed in 5.1

The Year Zero mini-series
To feature original score and soundtrack from Nine Inch Nails, not Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross, not How to destroy angels_, Nine Inch fucking Nails.
I'd also like to see Reznor direct an episode or two, see how that goes.

A new Nine Inch Nails album***
I've almost forgotten what Nine Inch Nails is...
This doesn't actually have to come out in 2013, but I want a single/music video by 2014 and a release date some time in January or the first half of February. A new Ghosts or a follow-up to Year Zero (to coincide with the mini-series perhaps...) or something totally different, preferably reflecting my next to last NIN wish. It's almost been five years since the last proper NIN album and I'm getting concerned.

An original Reznor/Ross score for a new Silent Hill game
Kind of self-explanatory, kind of epic and amazing.
I'm turgid with the potential hotness of this.

Some Fucking Transparency
Look, if you honestly believe, in your heart of hearts, that your next release or the one after that or the one after that is really going to live up to the mystery and hushed, awed hype you propagate, literally, years before their release...then by all means, keep it up; tease things 24 months before they are written, whisper random artists' names into the throbbing, eager ears of the internet and let your slavishly dedicated fan base tear itself apart trying to figure out what, exactly, you meant by that comma placement...but...if you're just fucking with folks to maintain that brooding, dark, troubled vampire goth god-king persona you've built over the decades...fucking quit it. You're a father of two who's married to a back-up singer who's about half your age.
Stop buying your own hype.

Some Fucking Impenetrability
After listening to all this Coil and reconciling myself with the fact that they made music for almost twenty five years without ever actually having a particular audience in mind, it makes me wonder why Reznor isn't being more bold and experimental. I know, I know, what is experimental? Isn't that just another name for unlistenable or pretentious or droney or blippy or indie or fill-in-the-blank?
Another way of phrasing this: Trent, make something unlistenable.
Make something that will alienate people.
Unless it sounds like "Corona Radiata" or "The Four Of Us Are Dying"...those weren't great and even they feel safe when compared to the truly experimental stuff Coil did...over a decade ago.
Get nuts, surprise us.

Release That Cover of "Sex Dwarf" from the Closure bonus footage
Do it.

And, since Reznor likes to collaborate so much...

List of Trent Reznor's Collaborators for 2013

David Bowie (never going to happen, even I know that)
Tori Amos (still believe that this could be amazing)
tweaker (show them how good tweaker could be, Trent)
Dave Sitek and/or TV On The Radio (just fuck around for a few weeks and release what comes of it)


They Might Be Giants

These guys have been kind of hitting it out of the park recently and have a new album set for March 5th, so this won't be too wacky.

That the new album is rich and good
Join Us was 18 tracks and pretty great. Keep up the good work.

New and interesting tracks during the 2013 tour
Pretty straightforward.

2013 IFC
I've been exceedingly happy with these last two years of the IFC and I'd gladly pay for another.

New Monopuff and State Songs albums
Never going to happen.

The return of the amazing TMBG podcast
All those weird little things that weren't even songs..."Turtles of North merica"..."Lesson 16"...yes! More!


Beck

I'm going to take a deep breath and try not to scream...

You, Beck, Recording Song Reader
Yeah, I'm not interested in people covering your new album. You wrote it, you record it. Asshole.

Midnite Vulture Deluxe Edition
A while ago, Beck said this was going to be a double album. As it is my favorite Beck album, obviously, I want more.
So do it.

A music video collection
On Blu Ray.
No idea why this hasn't happened yet...

Stop Producing, Start Collaborating
I'm done with hearing that Beck produced some dude's album which now has some drum programming where it did not have drum programming before.
If you're going to work with artists, work with them. Create something that is both of yours.
St. Vincent comes to mind...as does Dave Sitek.****

Get Back To Writing and Recording and Releasing Your Own Music
You are an artist. Yes, I understand. But artists can write/record/release compact discs too, you know. Remember all of the 90's and the 00's? Yeah? Okay. Good. Let's do that again.


Eels

E, you're releasing a new album in February and then touring for a few months after that.
And that is all I need.
Welcome back, buddy.


Cake

Another deep breath...and here we go...

Release A Double Live Album Comprised Of The Greatest Moments From The Last Few Years
In 2007, Cake was set to release a live album of their kick ass show at the Crystal Palace in...Texas? Kansas? Whatever.
They recorded it and everything...and then shelved it.
No matter how much I scream about Cake, I have always loved them live; they are a staggeringly talented live band and I will always do my best to see them, so a live CD, compiled from the best shows from the last few years would be stellar.

Shut Up And Make Some Fucking Music
You think I was joking about three double albums in three weeks? Well, I thought about it and that is exactly what I want. Three double albums, twenty songs and an hour and twenty minutes each, within one month.
And then...

Retire
Cake hates touring. They hate it. It keeps them away from their family and they hate it.
So. Fucking. Stop.
Become environmental activists, run for congress, actually fucking do something aside from being passive aggressive on your web site...YOUR WEB SITE WHICH ONLY LIKE-MINDED PEOPLE FUCKING READ!!!
You don't make enough music to be this vocal about shit.
If making music is such a chore and so awful, then fucking stop.
Yes, I will miss your music, but, honestly, it isn't like you make music anymore, so what's the difference?
Make those three double albums, release that live CD and then fuck off.
Never darken my doorstep again.


Now onto other bands/artists:

A new Gorillaz album produced by TV On The Radio
Straight up, I do not believe that Gorillaz is over and done with. I want them back and to record an album with TVOTR. It would be amazing. Get Beck in there and I'll even pre-order.

Another St. Vincent/David Byrne album
I haven't been able to stop listening to Love This Giant and I want more. Would I rather have a new AC/DB album than a new St. Vincent solo album? ....maybe? Both would be asking way too much, I get that but, again, wish list. And, you know what? I'm going with yes, I'd rather have another Love This Giant than a new St. Vincent album. LTG is just so good...

The redemption of tweaker
I don't care how you do it, a remix album that makes Call The Time Eternity sound like farts, a new album produced by Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross featuring guest vocalists How to destroy angels, whatever. You made 2 a.m. Wakeup Call and it was heartbreakingly amazing and then you release CTTE? You are better than this and we both know it.
So prove it.

For the new Maximum Balloon album to be half as good as the first one
Because the first one was, mathematically, that good.

A Phone Call From Prince
I have nothing.
I just want to talk to the guy.

For the Atoms For Peace album to be amazing
I, seriously, listened to that first single, "Default", until I couldn't. If half of the album is as good as that one song...wow.
I want the whole album to be that good.
Which leads me to...

I Want One Of My Five Favorite Bands To Release An Album I Love From Top To Bottom, The First Time Through
No "it's growing on me", no half-amazing, half-okay track list...solid...gold...all the way through.
Will this ever happen or are my standards just too high?
I'll check back in in, roughly, three hundred and sixty five days.






* I will accept this as its official title.

** Don't think this actually exists, but, hey, it's a wish list.
*** I do not care what the fuck The New Yorker or Trent fucking Reznor says. SURPRISE ME.

 **** Sorry, he just seems to be a great guy to collaborate with.*****

***** Listen to Maximum Balloon.

A review of St. Vincent's "MassEducation"

There’s no truer test of a song’s quality than to hear it with all its production stripped away. So much music today is its bells and whistles and samples and so on. But it all comes down to the bones. That is what MassEducation is: no harmonies, no insanely talented and effect-buffed guitar playing, no dozens of takes to get that perfect sound, just Annie Clark's voice, Thomas Bartlett’s piano, and Pat Dillett’s subtle yet integral production lending a sense of continuity.

As this new release is a reinterpretation of last year’s stellar Masseduction, I’m just going to break the former down versus the latter.

"Slow Disco" - feels like the impetus for this whole thing and it’s perfect. This is the fifth iteration, also known as “Slow Slow Disco”, as opposed to “Fast Slow Disco” which was released earlier this year. This was a favorite from Masseduction.

"Savior" - Clark brandishes her voice like a glass sword. Absolutely beautiful and naked and fire. Great juxtaposition between the high piano and plucked low notes.

The repetition and layered vocals from the original version of “Masseduction" lose something here and this feels a bit harried at times.

“Sugarboy" - stripped of its frantic, coked-up, clubby chaos, we see those bones and realize there is much more to this than originally indicated. Bartlett’s piano is indispensable in making this work as well as it does. The moment towards the end where Clark makes herself laugh is wonderful.

"Fear The Future" - sounds so triumphant and timeless in this arrangement, again, thanks to Bartlett’s shimmering high notes.

Without those huge, swelling noises in the background and the massive, thudding drums “Smoking Section” feels so much more vulnerable. Originally, when Clark declared “it’s not the end”, there was a sense of certainty, but here, she plays the role of the unreliable narrator.

"Los Ageless” becomes a low key, jazz number that wouldn’t be out of place in a smoky speakeasy from the 20’s. Almost a total reworking. This arrangement is reminiscent of something by Tori Amos, which makes me want a Love This Giant-type collaboration immediately.

“New York” gains added fragility, taking on a more sorrowful tone.

“Young Lover”, one of the only tracks to get a tempo shift, loses a little something, but that’s really one of this album's only shortcomings.

“Happy Birthday, Johnny” loses its gentle bed of slide guitars and gains an absolutely gorgeous piano break. Perhaps one of the only tracks here better than the original.

I was really curious how this would go…but, thanks to that slightly detuned, demented plucked piano, “Pills” works just fine. Somehow the relatively fast vocals work here where they didn’t on “Masseduction”. Another appearance of Bartlett’s sparkling high notes seals the deal.

"Hang On Me" is an excellent closer. It’s even more perfect in this state than in its original presentation.

While Jack Antonoff’s production lent Masseduction a dynamic, immediate quality, the versions presented here feel more ageless and weighty, even those that actually sound lighter than the originals, probably because there’s less to distract from the melodies and lyrics. Not that there was really any doubt, but MassEducation further cements Clark’s songcrafting skills. For those who didn’t like the instrumentation or presentation of her last album, or for those who loved it but would appreciate a deeper, more intimate look at the album, or simply for people who like the work of a strong, female singer/songwriter to accentuate the vibe of the season, MassEducation is meant for you.

The Year In Bitch - 2014

How the fuck is the year almost over?
*sigh*
We're all gonna fuckin' die.

Biggest Surprises
Since it's important to be positive, let's just get that out of the way first.

Aphex Twin - Syro
The biggest surprise for me this year was, within the span of just about a month, the announcement, reemergence and release of the "new" Aphex Twin album, Syro. He could have just done an interview or posted to his Facebook page, but fuck that, this is Richard D. James, Electro-Jizz God King. The marketing campaign for Syro utilized a blimp, the AT logo spraypainted all over New York City, and a press release that looked as if it were run three times through Google Translate.
That is how you announce something.
That is how you surprise people.

Thom Yorke - Tomorrow's Modern Boxes
Another fantastic surprise was the out-of-nowhere release of Thom Yorke's stellar Tomorrow's Modern Boxes, a direct follow up to his 2006 solo effort, The Eraser. Yorke said the whole point of the release was to see if people could "get their heads around" using BitTorrent's "pay-gate" system for music delivery. Whether or not it worked, the resulting album feels a lot less like an experiment than I was expecting; it's rich, varied, and stands up after multiple listens.

Maxi Bacon - Maci Baxon
The discovery of the existence of Maxi Bacon.
But more on that later.

Tori Amos - Unrepentant Geraldines
Finally, the most pleasant surprise, which wasn't, technically speaking, a surprise, was how much I enjoyed the new Tori Amos album, Unrepentant Geraldines. I've been a fan of her and her fire for years, but, during the mid-2000's until the beginning of this decade, when she started recording with a full orchestra and released the epic, complex tapestry that is Night of Hunters, I've felt indifferent towards her work. Her decision to start working with an orchestra reinvigorated her music and gave it new dimension, so, when she announced that her newest album would be a return to tradition recording, I became very worried. As it turned out, I had no reason to be; Geraldines might be her best album in fifteen years.

Nothing else surprised me this year.

2014 LIVE
I saw so many fucking shows this year (for me)...this has taught me one thing: I'm getting too old/bored/fed up with showing up hours early and listening to assholes to do GA anymore. Might be time to start looking into paying people to stand in line for me. Because, I, too, am an asshole. And a whiny one at that.

I had the good fortune to see three of my five favorite bands live this year: Beck, Eels and Nine Inch Nails, as well as St. Vincent, Mother Feather, TV on the Radio, Damon Albarn and Tori Amos.

I only usually see bands with whose music I am intimately familiar. Mainly because, if I haven't heard the song before, hearing it for the first time live is silly, as no PA I have ever encountered is good enough for a neophyte to make out the lyrics, also, I'm too persnickety to just "enjoy the music", so I end up standing there the whole time wishing I knew what the fuck the people on the stage were trying to tell me. This factor was the downfall of both TV on the Radio and Damon Albarn. Both shows were tremendous, but, more often than not I was just waiting for the part of the song that I knew and/or hoping I'd be better acquainted with whatever was coming next.

Tori was...a force of nature. This had been the first time I'd seen her in about fifteen years and, aside from not being savvy to the majority of the set, I loved it; it was like going to a place of worship and finding that your deity of choice just happened to be playing piano that night. Her fans though...I'm a firm believer that the only problem with the place I live, and, indeed, where everyone lives are the people living there. I fucking hate people and go out of my way to not be counted among them, hence why I always travel with huge headphones clamping the sides of my face. Tori may love her fans, but the twats to the left, texting and tweeting how awesome it was to see Tori Amos live! OMG! LOLLERSKATES! ROFLPUKE! and the massive king cunt to my right who was singing in broken English, louder than Tori's amplified voice along with every song he knew and discussing...Christ knows what, I don't speak Catalan...during those that he did not....those "people" deserved maiming, at the very least.
I told you I was too old for things.

I've seen Eels almost ten times and every time has been different, with its own highs and lows. While this was a great show, rife with songs I'd never heard performed live...I couldn't help but feel like something was missing and, at this moment, I'm having trouble really recalling it to memory. This probably has more to do with this year's The Cautionary Tales of Mark Oliver Everett than anything else. More on that later. I do recall that the opening, E coming out and singing "When You Wish Upon A Star", almost immediately brought me to tears. So at least that's still happening.

Out of these, the best live experience comes down to a tie between St. Vincent (who I had never seen live* but will always see live from this point on) and Beck, who I have seen a handful of times. St. Vincent's Digital Witness tour was so perfectly rehearsed and choreographed, and Annie Clark's presence so vastly different throughout its ninety minute span that I can't imagine anyone seeing this show and not adding it to the top of their list. It was actually awe inspiring.

But Beck...come on...he's the second funkiest white man alive! Plus, all of the Morning Phase material sounded fantastic and he played both "Sexx Laws" and "Debra"! Shit, this is tough... You know what? Fuck it, my favorite live experience this year goes to Mother Feather, whom I saw on my birthday with my best friend, at the Bowery Ballroom. The blistering pop cock rock that exploding on my face that night has yet to be recreated by either Annie Clark or Beck Hansen.
Way to go, ladies.

Biggest Disappointments

Most of my disappointments this year have to do with Trent Reznor.
Now, before I start venting my spleen, there's something you should know: Trent Reznor might be my favorite artist, so, when I bitch the hardest about him, it's because I know he's capable of so much more. Like a father...I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed.

Although I was genuinely fucking livid after my Nine Inch Nails touring experience this year. I had spent upwards of four hundred dollars (merch, tickets, transportation etc.) to see NIN twice in a row, as Reznor has always tried to keep live shows varied from night to night, because, for as humble as he appears to be, he is aware of how slavishly dedicated a lot of his fans are. Through some strange twist of fuck, both shows were identical. This, on its own, would have been a cockslap, but, some time soon after that second identical show ground to a close, a picture of that evening's original set list appeared...with several different songs. What happened? No one knows. All we have is the anger.

Then, there's the Gone Girl score that Reznor and Atticus Ross released earlier this year. As I've spewed piss about this for months already, I'll cut to the chase: I believe that Reznor should have either done that final leg of his tour or worked on this score. I think, by committing himself to both, that both were of a lower quality than they could have and should have been. Hey, people do it all the time, and, no matter how many Nine Inch Nails posters I have on my walls, Trent Reznor is still a person.

And, our last stop on the Trent Reznor 2014 Monorail of Sadness: the deluxe reissue of The Fragile...or, rather, the motherfucking, ballshitting continued lack thereof. This year was the fifteenth anniversary of Nine Inch Nails' The Fragile, the unequalled, two disc opus which featured some of their most disparate and fascinating music to date...and the reissue, which Reznor has been teasing for almost ten fucking years, was nowhere to be seen. In my mind, now addled with desire and time, this reissue (replete with a 5.1 mix, unreleased music, and a Blowjob Machine**) will not only reinvigorate my love for this album and this band...but it will also cure cancer.
Who's overreacting?
Fuck you.

Onto Eels. While I wouldn't call The Cautionary Tales of Mark Oliver Everett a disappointment exactly, the fact that it paled in comparison (for me, always for me) to last year's Wonderful, Glorious combined with the fact that Damon Albarn dropped his cold and lonely gem, Everyday Robots around the same time...well, it just got overshadowed. There's some genuinely great stuff on there, and, of course, I'm going to revisit it, but, just as with Hombre Lobo, nothing was going to live up to the pure, tear streaked brilliance of Blinking Lights and Other Revelations. No worries though, we'll see you soon, E.

The Bests! Yeah, The Bests!
Okay, in retrospect, maybe crafting a 2000+ word summation of my personal musical experiences in 2014 was a bit presumptuous. You don't know who I am and, therefore, why would you give even the slightest fuck about my opinion of stuff? Why am I even writing this?! Do you know how many tweets 2000 words is? Fuck!
So, I'm just going to get right to it. 

I was going to nominate*** Beck's Morning Phase as my favorite album of the year, but it's going to have to be St. Vincent's self titled release. While Morning Phase is an absolutely amazing second movement to the symphony he started over a decade ago with Sea Change, it's nothing new, just an evolution (a brilliant and glimmering evolution that emcompasses everything right about music), whereas Clark's St. Vincent just defies description. If you haven't heard it, you're missing out on what makes music exciting and vital.

Along with those two, I'm going to toss out Damon Albarn's solo debut, Everyday Robots, Yorke's Tomorrow's Modern Boxes, TV on the Radio's Seeds (although I've only had that for a month or so) and...Maxi Bacon's Maci Baxon.

I've been a fan of Albarn, St. Vincent, Beck and TV on the Radio long enough to know what to expect, in a general sense. All of those artists are capable of surprising me, but in a predictable way, if you dig. Beck is going to have some super funk, or, depending on the type of hat he's wearing at the moment, some soulful, bluesey folk, perhaps accompanied by gorgeous strings, conducted by his father. Albarn is going to have something doleful or faux doleful, most likely underscored by some African beats. St. Vincent is going to play her blizzed out styrofoam guitar and sing with barely restrained chaos and panic in her voice. But Maxi Bacon...these guys...surprised me. I did not know this sort of thing even existed. Do I sound like a thirteen year old boy who has just discovered masturbation? Maybe. But it doesn't change how awesome orgasms are.  

Hopes & Fears for 2015
What do you fucking think? I want the goddamn Fragile reissue.
You fuck.

And there you have it.
Sorry to have bothered you.
Have a nice day.

Paul Guyet is an actor and writer living in New York City. He's violently opinionated and has a penchant for hyperbole, which makes him perfect for music journalism. He also has an affinity for talking about himself in the third person. He has a podcast, a website and a twitter, but he doesn't think he's better than you.

* I saw her with David Byrne when they toured for Love This Giant, but that doesn't count.

** Blowjob Machine not yet confirmed.

*** Oooh, nominate! Look at me, I'm Baron Von Fancyman, nominating folks for things!