Before he'd announced Hesitation Marks but after he'd announced Beats Music*, I was 100% sure that Reznor was going to debut new Nine Inch Nails music on this streaming service as a way to get at least a few hundred thousand people (NIN fans who would gladly remove a small portion of their skin for new NIN music) to join on Day One.
I was kind of 100% right.
Yesterday was the debut of Beats Music and Seed Eight (Remix 2014 EP), a Beats Music exclusive** consisting of three new remixes of tracks from Hesitation Marks and one remix from the Japanese release of the album.
Seventy five percent of this free, promotional EP is not worth the money I didn't pay for it.
We start with the Hot Chip remix of "Satellite". On the album, it's a dark, dancy track that, as I've said before, might feel at home as the "edgy" track on a Justin Timberlake album; here, it's a boring, "thump aimlessly until we die" drag featuring some garbled whispers in the background that don't do anything at all for me or my dance bone. Keen example of some truly lazy remixing.
Next, we get the Cold Cave remix of "Running", the first twenty seconds of which tricked me into thinking it might be interesting. Then they start then they start then they started doing that obnoxious, shiity remix thing where they play the first half of a lyrical phase a few times before completing it. Genuinely innovative technique, gents. Grateful I'm never going to see these guys open for Nine Inch Nails, because I just might I just might I just might fucking kill myself.
Then, we have the Simian Mobile Disco remix of "Copy Of A". This! Here! Yes! SMD vs. NIN! WOO!
More like "WOE".***
I will say that I'm impressed they managed to find something less interesting than the Hot Shit**** remix. How can such a fun and talented bunch do something this pointless?!
Finally, we have the previously released Autolux mix of "Everything". Here's something interesting...when I first heard this, it was my least favorite remix from Hesitation Marks (the deluxe edition of which came with three additional remixes). The vocal manipulation done by Autolux made it sound like Trent Reznor was going through puberty right before our very ears. But now? After these other three poops? Although it brings stark relief to some of the silliness in the original ("SHAKE! SHAKE!"), I now have a deeper appreciation for it, especially the ending. At least Autolux tried something different.
In general, remixes that only sample a tiny fraction of the lyrics from the original bore me, and those that just thump-a-thump-a tend to annoy me. Going by those guidelines, I may never listen to the first three tracks of this EP ever again.
Here's a test: if you skip two minutes into a remix and the only thing that's changed is the addition of a hi-hat, you've got a bad remix on your hands. However, I see this release as an exercise in perspective: yes, I could just trash it and say it's a bunch of leftover remixes Reznor had lying around that he didn't have a place for...or, I could say that it's the perfect example of how juxtaposition can help one shift their point of view.
And, seriously, none of these are as bad as Olaf Fuckhead's abortion of "Me, I'm Not".
Oh, and the cover art might be the worst, most try-hard, high-school-teenaged-goth, angsty thing that's ever been associated with Nine Inch Nails...and I'm including these:
* Better than Pandora, Spotify, Deezer, Napster, Blinkbox and Rdio.
Apparently.
I guess.
I don't use streaming music things.
** Unless you know what a torrent is and, as all NIN fans know what a torrent is...yeah. "Exclusive" is such an exclusionary word...
*** ZING!
**** Typo?
No comments:
Post a Comment