Since Friday, I have been sick.
I have also been squatting in my own living room since the AC has gone in and Chris has gone away to the West.
I feel like the smartest, sickest homeless man ever.
I can hear virtually NOTHING out of my left ear due to weird sick pressure head issues and I can't seem to smell anything either.
I have a 2000 word recording session with TransPerfect Thursday morning at 10.
Fuck. Yes.
I also received an e-mail yesterday from my manager checking my availability for next week to go in for a rerecord for a session I did back in March.
Now, here's the deal, the folks from that session back in March, have yet to send my payment.
So.
Here's what I'm thinking...I won't set foot in that studio until A. we get that payment from fucking March and B. we get a written guarantee that we'll have the payment from this session within 2 weeks.
This company makes, literally, billions of dollars a year, they can fucking expedite this.
I don't think that's unreasonable at all and, if it is a little, I have never been a diva in my career and this is as good a place to start as any.
In other "news", since I've been delirious with sickness I have watched the 8th season of The Office (loving almost every second of it, and, although HE says he's never gotten it, I think Flans resembles Ed Helms XMAX), the 6th season of 30 Rock (I saw where my part would have been and, although it would have been awesome to put 30 Rock on my resume, I'm fine now that I did not get it; it was for the voice of Mayor MacBeth/Cheese from the credits of the episode where Liz finds her book from the year before and starts solving all her problems before they occur. I had to do a Patrick Stewart impression. And the addition of Kristen Schaal to the cast might have made one of the funniest things on television even funnier. She is perfect), Red Dragon (Ralph...Jesus...you're a nightmare. Also, I'd probably sleep with a serial killer if I later got to pet a tiger), Paul (the movie, not the me), that Rob Zombie animated film, the Haunted World of El Superbeasto (such a wonderful and pus-filled universe he has created, Sherri Moon Zombie-- which might be the coolest name ever-- does a great job as Suzi X...and Paul Giamatti is one of the most versatile voice actors I've ever heard) and the Doctor Who 8th Doctor TV movie (which was shitty trash ass and pure piss awful. Fear and burn this.).
I also played through Resident Evil 5 on Hard...which is less than Hard when you have a lot of super powerful weapons with infinite ammo, and I finally finished Max Payne 3, which was good looking and functional with a solid noir story, but nothing more.
I'm trading it in for something as soon as I have the time.
Not sure what though, as the new Silent Hill (SH: Downpour) got nothing but shit bags for reviews.
Aside from not really being able to hear out of my left side, I'm actually feeling better, so, tomorrow, Jen Rock and I are going to play through as much of Silent Hill 2 as we can without tumbling into the crimson maw of terror and darkness...so, like, forty minutes. I might put the mattress away...if I have the energy and wherewithal.
The lack of my One and Only plus the effects of my sickness have made me part bachelor (in five days, I have used one bowl, one spoon, one plate and nothing more) and part wounded baby elephant (I've been eating a lot of peanuts and trumpeting).
In short: ay-ee-thang-SALL-fuk-dup.
Finally, after my day of Resident Evil 5, I had an awesome and intense zombie apocalypse dream that was actually a sequel to an earlier zombie apocalypse dream. It involved a secluded lodge house in the woods near a small town with an underground...something...that was causing all the zombie stuff. Aside from regular zombies, there were also huge Lovecraftian mutations running around as well. Utterly horrifying and extremely exhilarating. One part I remember very clearly was sneaking around inside the lodge house and slowly closing the blinds and locking the doors and windows so no zombies saw the people inside. It was during the day and very intense. Then, while making sure everything was shuttered, I saw a massive creature swimming in the river behind the house, something very much like Cthulhu, but more squid-like. If could just plug my brain into my PS3, I'd be the best survival horror game designer in the world.
And my fingers have just stopped working.
Showing posts with label Sick. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sick. Show all posts
7.03.2012
6.30.2012
Soon, I Shall Number Among The Undead/I'm Totally Fine And You Should Come Over
Okay. So that tickling frog in my throat from yesterday has gestated into a rampaging shoggoth. I have decided that I am dying.
So, since I am obviously going to turn into a zombie upon my death, I'm taking steps
to make sure I become the best possible zombie that I can be.
I'm sharpening my teeth, totally encasing my head in a protective covering (except for the sharpened teeth, of course) and reinforcing my joints and body with chain mail. No one's taking ME down without some collateral damage...
I'm also attaching a time bomb to my body, just in case.
Now, that said, I'm totally feeling much better and everyone I know should come over for tea and soft, frosted cakes. Since it's so hot out, you'll probably want to wear something light and easy to chew through rather than some sort of body armor.
Or something.
Don't be weird about it.
All righty, I'm off to frost some cakes.
I hope everyone likes cinnamon!!!
6.29.2012
No, YOU stop melting my throat...
Figured out why my head felt like a centrifuge full of piss nails and hate spiders yesterday: I'm in the early phases of getting sick.
And, of course, my audition this morning went okay.
Of course.
Because, if I book this, it will record Monday or Tuesday...which will have given the Sick just enough time to sodomize my vocal chords.
Sans lube.
Fuck you, body.
No pizza for a MONTH, see how you like THAT.
Taking it as easy as I can this weekend, probably just doing the movie for Lisa's 31st. We're seeing Ted, which should be Family Guy, but with a teddy bear and Marky Mark.
Which, if I'm in a proper state of delirium, should be AMAZING.
Then, since Chris will be gone for the next 8 days, I'm going to put in the AC, drag my mattress into my living room and squat like a God King in a Palace made of Smiles and Light.
You haven't killed me yet, Summer*, and you won't this year either.
*I'm referring to the season, not Summer Posey, a whore I went to high school with.
And, of course, my audition this morning went okay.
Of course.
Because, if I book this, it will record Monday or Tuesday...which will have given the Sick just enough time to sodomize my vocal chords.
Sans lube.
Fuck you, body.
No pizza for a MONTH, see how you like THAT.
Taking it as easy as I can this weekend, probably just doing the movie for Lisa's 31st. We're seeing Ted, which should be Family Guy, but with a teddy bear and Marky Mark.
Which, if I'm in a proper state of delirium, should be AMAZING.
Then, since Chris will be gone for the next 8 days, I'm going to put in the AC, drag my mattress into my living room and squat like a God King in a Palace made of Smiles and Light.
You haven't killed me yet, Summer*, and you won't this year either.
*I'm referring to the season, not Summer Posey, a whore I went to high school with.
1.04.2006
HULK SMASH DOUGHNUT!!!
1.4.06
3:07 PM
There was a box of doughnuts that had been sitting on top of the microwave for the past few days. Over the past few days the microwave had been used several times. In fact, at about 2:50, I put a cup of water in there to make tea, but by the time it was finished, I realized that there would not be enough time for me to let the bag steep, add sugar and milk and drink the tea before I had to leave. I was about to walk out the door, tealess and cranky, when I remembered that there was one doughnut left, a chocolate covered doughnut. My spirits lifted and I opened the box. The doughnut was warm and gooey. It took a second before I remembered that when the microwave is used, it produces heat and objects on top of the microwave will sometimes be affected by said heat. I ate the doughnut anyway since I had eaten nothing yet and because my fingers were covered with chocolate. As I finished this gooey snack treat, I reflected on the amount of radiation this and the other doughnuts had been exposed to over the past few days. Maybe a little. Maybe a lot.
I will keep an eye on my stool to see if that is affected and I will keep you all informed if I grow any taller.
8:44 PM
I think the reason I believe it’s been a mild winter is that I don’t go outside that often.
9:50 PM
Herm. Ahemy herm herm.
So…when you look at me…do you think: modern adaptation of the Norse Thunder God, Thor? I hope the three of you reading this said yes because that who I shall be portraying at the Red Room on March 6th, 7th and 8th. In a play most likely titles “Fables of the Thunder God” I shall play a modern version of Thor named Tor (short for Torrance). The script is good and will include numerous anal sex jokes as per my contractual stipulations.
In my career I have played God (Testament) and Satan (Shark Week). And now I take on the mantle of Thor. Maybe next I’ll play that multi-armed elephant god: Multi-Armed Elephant God. Perhaps Jesus? I could do that. Jesus in the house.
Goodness has the sickness hit me! It nests in my head and throat and sinuses. It floats in the back of my mind, making me have to ask people to repeat things. It grinds mortar in my throat, making my voice sound like Kaitlyn after a few gin and tonics. It writhes in my sinuses, rushing forward to blind m with pressure. Fucking body. Unable to defend itself against this onslaught. I am being raped again and again…by my self and its battered immune system.
I installed my new stereo system. It was about time. My old stereo used to have three working CD slots (all of them capable of playing CD-R’s and CD’s), a decent AM/FM radio and a dual cassette player. After about five years, the disc trays stuck, CD-r’s would no longer play (that’s a weird one), both tape decks were fucked and when you turned it on it made loud clicking sounds.
I got the fucking hook up for Xmas. Some sweet Bose thing called the Wave. I just picked up a tape deck from J&R so now I am set. Same deal as the last one but four disc slots and the ability t play mp3 CD’s. Tasty stuff.
I also scored the hundred and fifty pound Complete Calvin & Hobbes. I had that mailed up and should be receiving it tomorrow. Aside from that I completed my Christopher Guest collection, got season seven of the Simpsons and Will topped me off with Beck’s “Guerolito”, the remix album. Some really great shit on there including a remix of “Missing” by Air. Those guys were meant to work together. I like the remix better than the original.
Graagh! My voice is rendered useless by attacking parasites.
Somehow this sickness is related to acid reflux. Goddamn fucking acid reflux.
I received a letter from my union today. Anyone who wants to be my spouse or dependant can get TOTAL COVERAGE (delivered as LeCerta, the photographer from Fear & Loathing). They sent me a list of drugs I can get for nothing. Man. There was some crazy shit on there. They had a category entitled “hypnotics”. Awesome. I should try those.
In Responsible Hospital news, another resident escaped today. Got out around 1:30 and as of 10:55 he is still missing. Careful, he has AIDS, so no one in Manhattan have sex with any black men until we get him back. He’s black, by the way, I’m not just saying that. Well, I am, but the escaped resident is also black so it doesn’t come from TOTAL nowhere.
Again, never let anyone you love be sent here. They will be punished for their sins and the sins of others. My shift nears its end. Tomorrow, I will either start Mrs. Norris & Jonathan Strange or You Shall Know Our Velocity. The ending of AHWOSG was alright. I feel like he ran out of things to say. YSKOV is fiction and it will be interesting to see with what his imagination can come up. I believe that sentence is grammatically correct but, lord, is it ugly. Other than those two books, I’ve been pressured to read the sixth Harry Potter book, but I fear the resulting stupidity. I do have a book of Dahl’s short stories I still have to dance through also…and tomorrow I’ll have C&H although that isn’t really heavy material (speaking for the content, of course). Perhaps after I read Harry Potter 6 I’ll jump onto C&H. Makes sense. There is a small patch of broken glass in my sinuses and throat. They spin when I try to sleep.
3:07 PM
There was a box of doughnuts that had been sitting on top of the microwave for the past few days. Over the past few days the microwave had been used several times. In fact, at about 2:50, I put a cup of water in there to make tea, but by the time it was finished, I realized that there would not be enough time for me to let the bag steep, add sugar and milk and drink the tea before I had to leave. I was about to walk out the door, tealess and cranky, when I remembered that there was one doughnut left, a chocolate covered doughnut. My spirits lifted and I opened the box. The doughnut was warm and gooey. It took a second before I remembered that when the microwave is used, it produces heat and objects on top of the microwave will sometimes be affected by said heat. I ate the doughnut anyway since I had eaten nothing yet and because my fingers were covered with chocolate. As I finished this gooey snack treat, I reflected on the amount of radiation this and the other doughnuts had been exposed to over the past few days. Maybe a little. Maybe a lot.
I will keep an eye on my stool to see if that is affected and I will keep you all informed if I grow any taller.
8:44 PM
I think the reason I believe it’s been a mild winter is that I don’t go outside that often.
9:50 PM
Herm. Ahemy herm herm.
So…when you look at me…do you think: modern adaptation of the Norse Thunder God, Thor? I hope the three of you reading this said yes because that who I shall be portraying at the Red Room on March 6th, 7th and 8th. In a play most likely titles “Fables of the Thunder God” I shall play a modern version of Thor named Tor (short for Torrance). The script is good and will include numerous anal sex jokes as per my contractual stipulations.
In my career I have played God (Testament) and Satan (Shark Week). And now I take on the mantle of Thor. Maybe next I’ll play that multi-armed elephant god: Multi-Armed Elephant God. Perhaps Jesus? I could do that. Jesus in the house.
Goodness has the sickness hit me! It nests in my head and throat and sinuses. It floats in the back of my mind, making me have to ask people to repeat things. It grinds mortar in my throat, making my voice sound like Kaitlyn after a few gin and tonics. It writhes in my sinuses, rushing forward to blind m with pressure. Fucking body. Unable to defend itself against this onslaught. I am being raped again and again…by my self and its battered immune system.
I installed my new stereo system. It was about time. My old stereo used to have three working CD slots (all of them capable of playing CD-R’s and CD’s), a decent AM/FM radio and a dual cassette player. After about five years, the disc trays stuck, CD-r’s would no longer play (that’s a weird one), both tape decks were fucked and when you turned it on it made loud clicking sounds.
I got the fucking hook up for Xmas. Some sweet Bose thing called the Wave. I just picked up a tape deck from J&R so now I am set. Same deal as the last one but four disc slots and the ability t play mp3 CD’s. Tasty stuff.
I also scored the hundred and fifty pound Complete Calvin & Hobbes. I had that mailed up and should be receiving it tomorrow. Aside from that I completed my Christopher Guest collection, got season seven of the Simpsons and Will topped me off with Beck’s “Guerolito”, the remix album. Some really great shit on there including a remix of “Missing” by Air. Those guys were meant to work together. I like the remix better than the original.
Graagh! My voice is rendered useless by attacking parasites.
Somehow this sickness is related to acid reflux. Goddamn fucking acid reflux.
I received a letter from my union today. Anyone who wants to be my spouse or dependant can get TOTAL COVERAGE (delivered as LeCerta, the photographer from Fear & Loathing). They sent me a list of drugs I can get for nothing. Man. There was some crazy shit on there. They had a category entitled “hypnotics”. Awesome. I should try those.
In Responsible Hospital news, another resident escaped today. Got out around 1:30 and as of 10:55 he is still missing. Careful, he has AIDS, so no one in Manhattan have sex with any black men until we get him back. He’s black, by the way, I’m not just saying that. Well, I am, but the escaped resident is also black so it doesn’t come from TOTAL nowhere.
Again, never let anyone you love be sent here. They will be punished for their sins and the sins of others. My shift nears its end. Tomorrow, I will either start Mrs. Norris & Jonathan Strange or You Shall Know Our Velocity. The ending of AHWOSG was alright. I feel like he ran out of things to say. YSKOV is fiction and it will be interesting to see with what his imagination can come up. I believe that sentence is grammatically correct but, lord, is it ugly. Other than those two books, I’ve been pressured to read the sixth Harry Potter book, but I fear the resulting stupidity. I do have a book of Dahl’s short stories I still have to dance through also…and tomorrow I’ll have C&H although that isn’t really heavy material (speaking for the content, of course). Perhaps after I read Harry Potter 6 I’ll jump onto C&H. Makes sense. There is a small patch of broken glass in my sinuses and throat. They spin when I try to sleep.
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