Cards Against Humanity/For Laughing So Hard You Cry And Are Unable To Speak For A Good, Solid Minute

I will never play Apples to Apples again.
Never.
I have no need, so why would I ever do so?
"Why (you don't ask aloud), why, Paul, do you have no need?"
Three words: Cards. Against. Humanity.

NUTSHELL: A group of long time friends played Apples to Apples and decided that it wasn't dark enough.
Yes, you could pair the adjective "effective" with the noun "Adolf Hitler", but, at its heart, the game wasn't about that.
It was great...but it wasn't that.
So these sick fucks made a Kickstarter page and the rest is black, black history.
And, after a struggle, I obtained the main game its the first expansion.
And, because I did, I laughed the longest, deepest and hardest that I have in years.

I'll stop the pitch and get to the funny:

On Saturday night, after a long and less than excellent shoot, I met Phil, Chris and Jim at Bare Burger in Queens to have some dinny poo and talk of things, then, we retired to my home where we broke out CAH.
Folks, we played through every card in both decks.
That's 600 cards.

Some highlights* (there were four white cards submitted to each black card, one from each of the three players and one from the Pile, a random card thrown in to make things more interesting. The Pile always has a spooky succinctness to its submissions, at the end of this game, the scores were Chris with 29, the Pile with 26, Phil with 22 and Jim and I tied at 17. I'm writing the answers I can remember.):

"Next from J.K. Rowling: Harry Potter and the Chamber of __________"
Dead parents.


"What were Bane's final words to Batman?"**
Vigorous jazz hands.
Balls.
Gandalf.
Making the penises kiss. (the winner, obviously)


"Next on Lifetime:__________, the story of __________"

Golden Showers//The Make-A-Wish Foundation
Free Samples//Grave robbing

While the Bane one had us all paralyzed for some time, the below picture was my favorite and had me completely incapacitated for a solid two minutes or so.

Guys, I really don't know what to say: Cards Against Humanity is described as "a party game for horrible people", but, if being a horrible person feels this good?
Then we should all take a few steps in that direction.

Buy Cards Against Humanity.
Get horrible.










*And, when I say "highlights", I mean that the four of us were incapacitated with laughter, with tears streaming down our faces, unable to speak for a period of time. I am not exaggerating one bit.

**This was a blank card, written in during my first game with Chris, Lauren and Jen some weeks ago.