A photo of Mariqueen was posted on the HTDA tumblr page.
*slow, unimpressed jerking off motion*
And, as for Nine Inch Nails, I have decided to chart their upcoming releases.
The objective of this task is triune in nature; first, it is to mock the general malaise of unproductivity NIN fans have suffered this year (or, since there has been no "new Nine Inch Nails music" since 2008, these past four years), second, it is to make myself feel better when/if any of these releases actually come out before their absurd and fabricated release dates, and, third, it is to point out to Trent (who, as I have mentioned countless times before, is a ravid* follower of this blog) just how silly he is when it comes to releasing material.
Project Title
|
Release Date
|
Theme for “Black Ops II”
|
November 13th, 2012
|
How To Destroy Angels LP
|
December 31st, 2012
|
The Fragile: 10th Anniversary Deluxe Edition
|
September 22nd, 2015
|
Follow up to Year Zero, tentatively titled Year Zero II
|
November 28th, 2017
|
Follow up to Ghosts I-IV, tentatively titled Ghosts V-VIII
|
January 12th, 2021
|
Return to touring
|
February 20th, 2021
|
Second retirement from touring
|
January 6th, 2022
|
With Teeth: 10th Anniversary Deluxe Edition
|
May 13th, 2025
|
Tapeworm triple album**
|
July 2nd, 2030
|
While in the midst of typing these absurd release dates, I realized that they aren't actually that absurd. Which is heart-dentingly sad and the reason that I have four other favorite bands...
Beck
FUCK YOU AND FUCK YOU AND FUCK YOU.
Less than one percent of me laughed my ass off at myself when I saw this.***
"Well, you wanted a new Beck album...BWA HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH!!!!".
When did wanting one of my favorite artists to create and release new, original music that I can listen to become like wishing for something on a goddamn monkey's paw? Do I really need to specify that I want my favorite bands to record albums that contain full length songs in a format that requires nothing but headphones and a small device on which to play them?!
Well, apparently I do.
I actually got rather hot debating this whole Song Reader bullshit with Chris a few weeks ago.
She thinks it's a great evolution for Beck as an artist and as a musician.
She thinks it's wonderful that he's just putting this out there for others to interpret and do with what they will, bringing their own special something to his music.
I...feel differently.
I don't want a bunch of Beck fans playing and recording this as some sort of cover/tribute album that fell out of the timestream because it won't be a Beck album. It will be Beck's music played by other people.
And, as much as I enjoy Charlotte Gainsbourgh singing songs written by Beck, I would gladly seal her in a barrel of formaldehyde and drop it out of a blimp if that meant him recording and releasing his own work.
Chris compared this shift to David Lynch not having written and directed a film in six years and to how he's been branching out and producing things, opening elite clubs in France, recording music and a bunch of other stuff that is decidedly not writing and/or directing films.
Guess what...I haven't really given a shit about anything Lynch has done in the past six years...because he hasn't been writing and/or directing films...which is what he excels at.
Have you heard his album? It's a bad joke told by a clown having a nightmare and a bowle movement at the same time.
Chris also compared this to Reznor releasing the multi-tracks for his music and, while I see her point, he didn't just hand you a bunch of paper with notes on it, he released the finished product then said, "Here's how I did it and what I used to do it, now it's your turn." With Reznor, there was always a point of reference, a "right way". With this? Well, what are the chances that your interpretation of "a funky keyboard solo" is going to be anything NEAR as funky as Beck's funky keyboard solo?
Zero.
The chances are zero.
Rage!
Bottom line, then I'll move on: as an artist, Beck wins. This is an ingenious idea that will be awesome for a very, very small percentage of his fans, but, as someone making music for people that like to listen to and enjoy his music, this is a pretty big fuck you. Jesus, it's almost like he's trolling his own fans!
"You want a new album? Make it yourself, I'm too busy being an artist rather than making art."
And, for that, Beck, I say fuck you and fuck you and fuck you.
The only way he can make this shitty dickslap better is if, after a few months of letting this sit there and piss me off, he fucking records it himself and releases it.
Hey, maybe he can put the CD in that wonderful fucking book of magical and useless sheet music.
Luckily, not every piece of Beck related news this month was as infuriating as having someone piss in my face while rubbing the diarrhea of a rapist in my hair.
On August 7th, the PS3 and PS Vita game Sound Shapes was released.
It contains three...I don't want to say songs by Beck...more like three sketches of songs.
I'm only saying this because there aren't verses and all that, more like...oh, just watch the videos.
The first song/level, "Cities" has a bass line reminiscent of "Cellphone's Dead", but manages to be its own awesome creation, the second "Touch The People" is less a b-side from Midnite Vultures, and more like a c-side, it is fucking weird, and, the third, "Spiral Staircase" is just pitch perfect Beck.
I've found myself playing his levels again and again, just to hear his music.
And, although this is a perfect vehicle for some experimental Beck tunes, I'd gladly buy a "Cities" EP to have these tracks with me wherever I go.
This was a great project for Beck to take part in.
*sigh*
You know, I might just stop checking in with Beck until he gets back to doing the things I give a shit about.
I told you that he was designing sunglasses there for a while, right?
Sunglasses.
Designing them.
Cake
Cake played a show in Brooklyn on the 10th (come on, guys, isn't that a bit on the nose...?).
It contained no new music and no news of upcoming new music.
Eels
It's now been over a year since anything relating to Eels was posted on their official web site.
So.
Yeah.
Nothing good about that.
But...
They Might Be Giants
Oh thank fucking Christ, some rock solid good news.
In the last ten days, I have received both my custom ringtone (custom...as in Flansburgh sings my name and tells me to answer my phone...) and my IFC Super President package including a huge IFC coin featuring a three-eyed FDR, some brand new and exclusive TMBG tracks on two 7" vinyls and a membership card. On said card, one can record their height, name...and nickname. I don't actually have a nickname, so I asked Flans to give me one.
My new nickname is Bunkie.
Thank you, Mr. Flansburgh.
And thank you, They Might Be Giants Instant Fan Club for keeping my faith alive during this odd, simultaneous hiatus of my favorite bands.
AND in even more rock solid good news, on August 14th, Chris Vrenna finally dropped some Tweaker on us!
The next and final Tweaker album, call the time eternity, is set for release on October 23rd.
We have artwork, track list AND clips from each of its eleven songs.
This is going to be a lot darker than the previous two Tweaker albums.
Check it out here.
In less than two weeks, Love This Giant, the David Byrne/St. Vincent team up album will be out, and, well, it's going to be really good. I know that's presumptuous, but, come on, St. Vincent and David Byrne made an album...together...that's fucking awesome.
In more...I don't know...less interesting music news, both Garbage and Marilyn Manson released new music videos this month.
Garbage, for their excellent new single "Big Bright World" and Manson for one of the not-entirely-shitty tracks of his new "effort", "Slow-Mo-Tion".
The video for "Big Bright World" isn't as good as the song and should have starred the band flying around in the TARDIS with Matt Smith, and maybe some back and forth between Karen Gillan and Shirley Manson, as they are the two hottest and most talented Scottish redheads in show business right now.
The video for "Slow-Mo-Tion"...well, it has a lot of interesting uses of fluorescent paint, some weird non-narrative/narrative thread involving crazy light goggles and shooting people from a rooftop which Manson will probably forget about and abandon...now, naked boobs (wow, Marilyn, boobs. Haven't seen those since Jesus invented them...) and yet another bunch of scenes with Manson holding a guitar and looking like he's about to play it, but never actually playing it. Maybe he forgot what it does?
While I haven't been overlistening to anything, I did just get my new Audio Technica M50 headphones and I've been listening to old standards (read: Nine Inch Nails) with them.
Major drawback: they don't block out nearly as much sound as my beautiful Sennheiser HD 280's (I refuse to call them "Sennies" as I'm not a studio tech from the 90's), plus some vocals tend to get swallowed up by the surrounding music.
The bass is much better though and a lot of stuff sounds fuller and better spread out in the sound field.
At the moment, the Sennies**** are still God, but I will do my best to put more time in with the M50's.
Really bummed about the noise...
Okay.
Be free.
Make noise.
* Rabid + avid = ravid
** This is totally funny if you get the reference, and, if not, it'll make about as much sense as the rest of my gibbering
*** The rest of me boraded a school bus full of special needs children, screamed until I shit myself bloody, then dove out the window crying
**** I lied.
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