THE WEEKEND...BEGINS...NOW

10.4.10

3:30 pm

FOOOLED YOOU!!!

The weekend does not, in fact, begin now, or any time NEAR now.

Fool.

Heh.

Anyway, over the weekend, aside from nursing my sickness, I finished Dead Rising 2, to my delighted surprise, with an "S" rank!

Lemme break it on down fuh yuh...

Way back when, when Capcom used to make Resident Evil games where your character moved like a goddamn tank, you'd receive different grades at the end of the game, based on your performance and such factors as how long you took, how many times you saved your game, how many health items you used, etc.

The possible grades were "A" through "F" and, above an "A"...the "S" rank, "S" standing for "Superior".

Superior to what, I do not know.

Certainly not the Japanese as even their most retarded retard could utterly destroy any Gaijin dog in any video game ever.

Whatever the case, "getting an 'S' Rank" has become synonymous with doing the best one is able to do in a game.

And, despite not defeated every enemy or saving every survivor in the game, I received the "S" rank my first time through.

On the other hand, my character is only level 33 of 50 and I've only achieved 24% of the games trophies.

Not that I'm much of a trophy guy, this is just to show how winning a game and finishing a game these days can be two totally different things.

Another indication: at the end of my first playthrough, I had killed just about 5,000 zombies.

There is a trophy for killing 72,000.

Yeah.

DR2 allows one to restart the game after you've finished at the same level with the same equipment and skills so it should be more fun this time round.

Less difficult and more zombie-killy.

Aside from the unique save system, the game was wholly enjoyable.

I highly recommend it.

Any one want to play co-op?

Along with the slaughter of zombies, I watched Where The Wild Things Are.

What a wash.

I never worshipped the book when I was a kid so watching it was...kind of pointless, empty.

Nothing happened in it.

They romped.

I have nothing bad to say about romping, God knows, but why are they romping?

It's fun to have fun, yes, we know, but, come on, you can't make a whole movie based on that fact!

Unless you're Spike Jonze, apparently.

I'd heard great things about this movie as well so that probably had some negative impact too.

Eh.

Whatever.

In the end, Max remained a little shit.

Excellent moral, Spike.

Sadly, I did NOT see The Social Network this weekend as I was sick and couldn't be bothered, but I might just set out early some day this week and catch it on 86th.

Still hearing good things.

I might even eat a hot dog and indulge in some papaya dust juice.

Anyone want to join me?

At noon?

In the middle of the week?

To watch a movie?

No?

Anyone?

God damn it.

You fucking Daylighters...

Anyway, despite my sick, I had (what I thought) to be an okay audition this morning.

It had almost the exact same feel and thrust as the thing I recorded last week, so maybe that's a good sign?

This one is about Double Tree by Hilton.

Apparently, when you check in, they give you a cookie.

Christina, you'll be happy to know as soon as I read that, I asked the recording engineer what if you're gluten and dairy allergic.

Blank stare.

What do we do at the barbeque, if we're vegan xmax.

And there isn't even hot-house corn.

After the audition, I asked the guys if, if I get this, I get to meet Paris Hilton.

That lead us to a truncated discussion of her infamous fuck tape.

Did you know she takes a phone call in the middle of it?

And the guy gives this brilliant look to the camera like, "yeah, she did just takes a phone call but I'm erect and she's willing".

Such expression.

Love it.

Finally also again, as I furiously twittered this afternoon (although, often times, I find that 140 characters is not nearly enough to fully express my fury), Cake is accepting callers for this beautiful, pendant key chain.

Or might as well be.

I got an e-mail that ACTUALLY said "Holy cow! Cake is taking pre-sale orders for their new album!"

IT ISN'T COMING OUT FOR FOUR MONTHS!!!

AND, here's the thing (Note: there will be more than one thing) that bothers me:

For $15 you get the CD, autographed by the band (whatever).

For $25 you get the autographed CD, a t-shirt (limited edition, although I could buy the same one off their website now if I wanted) and the album on vinyl.

For $30, same as the $25, but with a 7" single (the b-side is just another track from the album, nothing new or unreleased)...and a digital download of the album.

NO!

WRONG! WRONG WRONG WRONG!!!

You have the digital for cheap, maybe $10, because it's just a file on a computer, there's nothing physical, it isn't costing you any money, THEN the CD for $15 INCLUDING A LINK TO THE DIGITAL DOWNLOAD THE MOMENT THE ALBUM COMES OUT BECAUSE YOU LOVE AND RESPECT YOUR FANS AND THE FACT THAT THEY HAVE STUCK WITH YOU THROUGH SIX YEARS OF RELEASING SWEET FUCK ALL! NOT AT HIGHER PRICE POINTS!!! WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU ONLY GIVING OUT THE DIGITAL WITH PACKAGES OF THIRTY DOLLARS OR MORE?! THE MORE PHYSICAL STUFF YOU HAVE, THE HIGHER THE PRICE!!! WHAT KIND OF 21ST CENTURY, INTERNET BUSINESS MODEL IS THAT, YOU FUCKING ECO-SNARK ASSHOLES???!!!

AND ELEVEN MOTHERFUCKING TRACKS?! ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR POCKET-MULCHING MINDS?!

THAT'S LESS THAN TWO FUCKING SONGS PER YEAR SINCE YOU LAST RELEASED ANYTHING WORTH LISTENING TO!!!!!!!!

YOU GODDAMN FILTHY DOG PENISES! YOU HAVE MADE AN ECO-VILLAIN OF ME!

FROM THIS POINT ON, I PROMISE TO DO EVERYTHING IN MY POWER TO COUNTERACT EVERYTHING YOU HAVE EVER DONE AND CONTINUE TO DO TO BETTER THIS WORLD!!!

EVERY TREE YOU'VE GIVEN OUT AT EVERY SHOW I SHALL FIND AND BURN DOWN!!!!!

FOR EVERY SWEATSHOP-FREE SHIRT YOU SELL, I WILL BUILD A SWEATSHOP!!

AND FOR EVERY YEAR YOU DO NOT RELEASE AN ALBUM FROM THIS POINT ON I WILL ERADICATE AN ENTIRE SPECIES FROM THE PLANET!!!!

YOU COULD HAVE RELEASED A DOUBLE ALBUM, YOU COULD HAVE THROWN THE LIVE ALBUM IN AS A BONUS, BUT NOOOOOOOOOO AND NOW THIS IS HAPPENING!!!

MY CARBON FOOTPRINT SHALL STAMP YOU OUT OF EXISTENCE!!!!!

Anyway, the pre-order page had clips from the album and there's some good sounding stuff on there.

I'll keep you updated.

Think that's all.

Oh, and Will and I need to come to an agreement about that thing.

Tick tick tick, my friend, tick tick tick.