Jerk Off

10.20.10

6:50 pm

Had my chain yanked like a motherfather on Friday.

Nicely, but yanked nonetheless.

Fuckers.

Anyway.

Watched Backdraft this weekend.

Meh.

Fire bad.

In the end though, all the fires were put out, so we're okay for now.

Not sure which came first, Silence of the Lambs or Backdraft, but, if Silence came first, then Ron Howard took Donald Sutherland's character from Anthony Hopkins like a mofo.

He did a great job, but I could totally see Ron being like, 'hey, Donald, have you seen Silence of the Lambs? Okay, you're like him but giddier and with less eating people.'

Finished the fourth season of Mad Men with Christina, who is now caught up in the gritty, 60's web just as I am and who thinks it's adorable that I have a thing for Catherine Hendricks.

I'd recommend her and I never meet though, as my "thing" might become less adorable and more...throbbing and uncircumcised?

Ne c'est pas?.

Just being honest...

Listened to The Cardigan's 1997 album Gran Turismo.

The first listen was really impressive, especially since I'd only heard 'Lovefool' before, but, after three or four playthroughs, it gets less impressive and her voice becomes more grating (unlike mine in George Washington Diarrhea's cover of Shakira's "Se Quiere, Se Mata", which you can listen to here).

Some excellent production on that one though.

It really is Garbage, but Swiss instead of Scottish.

Also listened to Die Antwoord's debut album today.

First reaction was: What?

Then: What the fuck?

Thing is, it's fun as hell.

Kind of disturbing at times; for instance, the 8 minute song, 'Beat Boy', which, if I'm interpreting the heavily accented broken English correctly, is about a really hot chick that gets a penis attached (not a sex change, just a penis attachment) then rapes the surgeon with her new penis and then gets sexually assaulted in a graveyard (posthumously, of course) by the lead male singer, Ninja.

It was funny up 'til that point.

The line "now you've got two great boobs and a penis" is repeated several times, you know, in case that slipped by the listener.

The last track is just straight up hilarious and, I will never be sure, might be completely in...South African?

Is that what the language is called?

The track is called "'Doss Dronk' and is a slurred reenactment (?) of a night of drunkenness.

It has a crazy, gypsy stomp tune to it that is so piratical you'll want to be wearing a patch while listening to it.

And, whatever it's called, there are a few tracks sung in both "English" and whatever language people from South Africa speak.

Dutch? German? Derman? Gutch

It's nuts, whatever it is and sounds great.

There's also a song by the high-pitched female of the group, Yolandi Vi$$er.

And, yes, I think the dollar signs are, legally, part of her name.

The song is called 'Rich Bitch' and it centers mostly around how Yolandi is, well, a female with money.

She brags about how, now that she's rich, she decides, on a case by case basis, whether or not she wants to answer her phone and also how she now shops at Woolworth's.

Okay, I've never been to South Africa, so I have no fucking idea if these things are real or if she is just playing some REALLY high level mind games with the audience, but...god damn I have no idea what to make of these people.

I look forward to talking with Linza, the only South African person I know, to get her opinion and find out, hopefully, what in the FUCK these psychos are about.

Oh, I almost forgot their DJ, DJ Hard Dick.

THAT would have been embarrassing.

I'd like to be clear that, for the most part, although I have no idea what's going on in these songs, I do enjoy it, it's compelling and energetic music and I found myself hanging on to every word to try and make some sense of it.

I don't do that with the typical American rapper (usually because I don't care about how many bitches they can fit into cars and vice versa).

I've also started listening to Prick's first album, which I missed when it first came around.

Very enjoyable.

They were one of the handful of bands Reznor signed to his Nothing Records label back in the mid-90's and they have some similarities.

Prick is some of the heavy of NIN without the Mope.

Anyway again.

Had a blast recording at Google yesterday. Those folks make work look like fun and fun look like sine waves.

You'd get that if you worked for Google.

Every second I was there felt like a Jonathan Coulter song.

I also made sure, under the "corporation" field, to enter "The Fatty Patrol, Inc.", so now Google has our institution in its records.

Now it's only a matter of time before we get bought out by Google and they'll find a free, more efficient way to harpoon and melt the fat people of the world.

Viva la future.

Is that all?

Had a solid audition today but who cares a farting fuck about solidity?

I'll ask Boost Mobile what Beyonce asked some slacker muse of hers years ago: Can you pay my billz? Can you pay my telephone billz? Can you pay my au-to-mo-billz?

Well, Boost Mobile, can you?

You know, it just struck me that, after she demanded to know if you could pay her billz, she demanded that all independent women threw their hands up and paid for the watches on their arms and the rings on their fingers.

So...I guess she just wants to know that the guy can pay for these things but still be allowed to pay for it herself?

But what about than demanding that men, if they like it, put a ring on it?

Beyonce.

Hey.

Shut the fuck up.

Sit down, make up your fucking fickle ass R&B mind, then write one song ONE SONG where you make a definite and permanent stance on the financial relationship between men and women.

Or just stop.

Okay?

For me?

Thanks, B.

I owe you one.

Ah, and I just found out that Darren Aronofsky is set to direct the next Wolverine movie.

Wow.

That should be...intense.