VERY IMPORTANT

5.28.10

3:55 pm

VERY IMPORTANT.

IN PUBLIC THERE IS NO WAY TO SURREPTITIOUSLY SMELL YOUR ARMPITS.

NO. WAY.

ESPECIALLY ON THE SUBWAY.

You bunch of smelly ass retards.

Okay, that's enough information, I think.

Last night I was happily surprised to see the HTDA site got all updated.

Give it away.

Nice.

Of course, I FOILED their stupid plan to give their music away for free by buying a t-shirt AND a poster.

HAH! FREE?! HAH! FUCK GOATS! MORE LIKE $53! HAH!

And I have no idea where I am even going to put that poster...

There was also a limited edition (only 120 IN EXISTENCE!!!), hand-silk-screened etc etc t-shirt for $50, but by the time I'd found out about it, it was sold out.

Would I have bought a fifty dollar t-shirt of the band one of my favorite musicians is now in...?

.

.

.

.

Well, since the shirt was already sold out, I suppose I'll never have to answer that question, now will I?

Nosy.

This manner of distribution is totally the way to go.

Now I'm just going to be antsy for four days, rather than four weeks.

Fool bag.

Also, Gary Coleman died.

That sucks.

The Funzo episode of the Simpsons with him is just great.

"He's a few prawns short of a galaxy..."

Classic.

Last night (because the new season is starting next week and because it's been crouching there on my Desktop for about a year) I watched the final episode of the second season of True Blood.

Forgot how fun and ridiculous that show is.

Beck's on the new soundtrack coming out June 8th.

He's a busy little muffin as of late with the whole Record Club, showing up on 'Maniac Meat', the True Blood thing and the Scott Pilgrim soundtrack as well.

Way to go, Mr. Hansen.

Keep it up.

Maybe an album?

Finally, and, most importantly, I have started a Twitter account: @guido_paparazzi

It's...pretty important, like I said.

At the moment, I'm following Kevin Smith, Murdoc Niccals, Nine Inch Nails, Trent Reznor and How To Destroy Angels.

Those last three...they kind of dovetail, you know?

I think Will has a Twitter page, although I might not comment on that all that often.

I also have a feeling that he might not become a Follower of mine either.

Might.

I joined it solely so I can be eligible for a HTDA contest thing happening this Sunday, so you probably won't hear from me again.

1. Because I don't have a portable Internet device.

2. Because nothing ever happens.

3. Because 140 characters can suck the shit from my ass.

I do support the push for brevity, as it is the soul of wit, but I'm pretty goddamn witless, if you've ever met me or read this journal, so Twitter is sort of antithetical to my nature, but I do not support the push for further despoiling and degradation of the English language.

And I've got a funny feeling that 98% of Twitter users don't know what 'brevity', 'wit' or 'Shakespeare' are.

Such is life.

As Christina will be massively busy for most of this long weekend, I plan to play some video games, yes I do.

I haven't actually done so in about two weeks, as I've been busy with other stuff.

But I have a tiny, and very American, conundrum: I have FOUR unopened games waiting for me.

Borderlands, God of War 3, Bioshock and Red Dead Redemption*.

I think I might power up that last one as it's currently what people are discussing on these podcasts, and that always gives me a little (sad) thrill, to hear people talking about things I'm also talking about.

It's like...being the really shy, quiet person in a conversation.

Something I don't do anymore.

Or I might throw on some Uncharted 2 multiplayer.

I'm this close to level 50; which means absolutely nothing important.

7:00 pm

So, some people have asked**, with all my complaining about what the bands I like aren't doing, what, exactly, I would like them to be doing.

Well I am NOTHING if not responsive to my (not real) readers.

Here goes:

Nine Inch Nails

Reznor has said that How To Destroy Angels is going to be putting out a full length album in early 2011. This EP coming out Tuesday is basically to get people interested. As the Wired article said that one song (The Believers) took them about seven and a half days from start to finish, a twenty tracks album should take them a little less than four months, give or take.

As I've already listed, I'd like him to move onto:

The Deluxe Fragile re-issue, the Wave Goodbye concert video, Year Zero 2 and the next Ghosts.

And I'd like that before 2013, thanks.

They Might Be Giants

Pull back on the kid's stuff for a bit.

I know you're making phat munny, but you're isolating your adult fans.

They've spoken about a new (adult) album coming soon that should harken fans back to their much earlier work.

Excellent, couldn't ask for anything more.

Maybe have the album be longer than 40 minutes?

And some more Album Shows.

I'd love to hear John Henry with a full horn section.

Eels

I would just love to see 'Tomorrow Morning' not follow the theme of 'Hombre Lobo' and 'End Times', or, if it must, that it comes out and, soon after, E announces a new chapter in his musical life, a chapter full of interesting collaborations with fun artists and some great, thick, dense new music.

I'd also like the live show to be more involved.

The fact that he's playing Terminal 5 (where I've seen both NIN and Cake) seems to indicate a larger set up...I hope.

Beck

I want a new album from Beck.

I want it to make Midnite Vultures look like Sea Change.

God damn would that be hot...

I'd also like him to do a Record Club for an album I know and love, maybe something by They Might Be Giants or Eels or Nine Inch Nails or...

Cake

Release that motherfucking album and then the live album you promised in 2007 AND THEN, as penance for being so fucking reticent and unproductive for the past half fucking decade, an album, a GOOD album, every year for three years.

Then you can fuck off and bitch about the environment and politicians all you want...for another two years, then another album.

Until the first new album comes out, no more using your BAND website for NON-BAND RELATED news.

After the first new album and live album are released, you can put up ONE NEWS ITEM A WEEK that does not pertain DIRECTLY to your new music or your touring schedule.

All right.

I declare this BitchFest....closed.

* I wasn't lying Will. Between the time we talked and Wednesday afternoon, two podcasts and every review for it have brought this game from 'not on my radar' to 'my face'.

** Not true.