Gonna take you up to Glendale...gonna take you for a real good meal...

7.19.06
3:31 PM

I feel vaguely artistic today. Like blue flowers in a vase. Beautiful blue flowers that only want to smell nice for people. But someone has put me in a dark broom closet. If only I had a gun. A metaphorical blue-flower-in-a-closet gun, not a real one. If I had a real one I would probably commit a hate crime. Or is it called a race crime? I feel like a “race crime” would be cheating in the New York Marathon so I guess it would be a hate crime. Can people of the same race, creed and socio-economic background commit hate crimes against each other? Or is it only a straight on gay or black on white thing? If two completely similar white people kill each other, could that be a hate crime? What if they really REALLY hated each other? Hm.
Labels.
I’ve almost finished watching “Kiss Kiss Bang Bang”. Very good movie. I hope I get to tell Robert Downey Jr. (RDJ to his close, personal friends like me) to his face just how lucky I think he is for getting to kiss Val Kilmer. And then I’ll wink really big at him and start growling. Morton Downey was a pretty severe looking guy, wasn’t he. I would freak out if he were my father. I’d be like, “Wow! You’re Morton Downey! That makes me Robert Downey Jr.! That is SO cool! Let’s make a movie.” Then I’d kiss Val Kilmer. And wink real big. And start growling.
You know, I need something to make me feel bad about my racist tendencies.
Anyone have any ideas?
I remember going to see “Amistad” with my high school but I was too young to give much of a shit and also, that’s slavery; EVERYONE knows that’s bad. I need something more current.
Something without Ludacris.
Ludacris. You asshole. You know because of this twerp, MILLIONS of young people think that “ludicrous” is actually spelled “ludacris”. He is single-handedly murdering the spelling of “ludicrous”. People watch “Spaceballs” now and think that the spelling of “ludicrous” in “ludicrous speed” is some weird Jewish spelling gag. FVCK! Oh yeah, I’m petitioning for the retvrn of v’s in place of u’s. You know what? Strike that. I am supporting the return of v’s in place of u’s in the word “fuck”, but only when it’s capitalized and used as a stand alone expletive. It makes it look more important and severe. FVCK! FVCK!! Nice.
I am planning to go to Washington D.C. for the premiere of “Snakes On A Plane” (AKA the highest grossing movie…ever.). My goal is to get Bob Edwards to see it with Will and I. How amazing would that be? Also a correction (for all you keeping track) to an earlier entry. Billy West IS NOT the voice of Brain, that’s Maurice La Marche (think I misspelled that too). I got carried away naming voices that rock.
My superhero costume for Lisa’s party is complete. Oh lordy is it complete. And then, after the party, I will meet up with Ray and Law and we will trek to Philly where I will ingest Peaches.
Busy weekend. Busy busy busy busy.
All of you should rent or buy “Kiss Kiss Bang Bang”. There are nice boobies, Val Kilmer gay and a severed finger.