The Pun'kin Patch

10.12.06
9:32 PM
Had two auditions today, one just fine and the other was a gem.
What I thought was to be a voiceover turned out to be an on screen.
Good thing I am always camera ready.
The Twinings (pronounced TWINE-ings) thing turned out to be a lot more rocking than I expected. I picture some soft faux-British accent whispering about how soothing their teas are.
I have GOT to learn to stop underestimating the tea companies.
Twinings is introducing something called “Options”, which appear to be a set of flavored teas.
I really don’t know.
The plot of the commercial is a woman (Stacey) goes on a speed dating thing and meets several types of guy, each with a flavor of tea on a sign on their chest. There was a Black guy, a Latino guy, a fireman, an older guy and a bunch of others. Basically, all of them have something wrong with them except for the last guy who is listed as the “good looking guy”.
I was brought in as…the really tall guy.
BUT
It was much more than the typical “be tall” audition. I was brought in and the camera chick was playing the girl. I was a bad choice for Stacey because I constantly brought everything back to my height. In other words, I got to improv and it went great. The director and the camera chick seemed to dig it.
I know in the end that no matter HOW good it felt, it really has more to doing with the color of my hair, but whatever the result, it was an awesome audition.
The one later on was some breathy, vaguely European perfume ad.
L’Occitane en Province.
It went well, but it was more straightforward.
Whatever.
Probably smells like the vaginas of French prostitutes.
I’ll take two.
After that I swung by Best Buy and picked up the second season of Harvey Birdman and the re-release of Depeche Mode’s “Songs of Faith and Devotion”, my favorite album of theirs. They have been suping up and re-releasing a lot of their older albums. They are all remastered and come with a DVD with the album in 5.1 with bonus tracks, remixes, b-sides etc. Also each album comes with a documentary about the making of and touring for that particular album. It is very well done. Apparently this album almost ended Depeche Mode because of all the crazy shit going on at the time. I also learned that Flood produced this album. I should have known by the feel of it.
After SOFAD he worked on a little project called “The Downward Spiral” with Trent Reznor.
My next project (in the world of video games) is to finish Resident Evil 4 on super fucking hard mode. I expect trouble ahead…
And, last night I checked out “Click”. Don’t make the same mistakes I did. I’d say there was maybe a good solid half hour of funny scattered throughout the movie, but that’s about it.
Be forewarned.
Again I find myself listening to “The Information”.
If you haven’t already, fucking buy it.
Fucking buy it and then fucking make your own album art.
I am about 100 pages or so into the new King book. It is one of the most adult things he has ever written and it’s weird. Very mature. The writing is sooo much better than “The Ruins”, but I’m a huge fan of King and that is a little unfair.
But “The Ruins” is pretty bad.
So are “The Runs”.
You know.
Liquid poop.
Chocolate water.
Hershey squirts.
Also, I just now heard a VERY stereotypical Hispanic gentleman threaten someone with a switchblade…jokingly?
*Sigh*
There were so few stereotypes in Oregon…just a bunch of fragrant hippies.
I can handle the hippies.
I can dig the hippies.
I groove with the hippies.
And if I didn’t think that potheads were worthless crab scabs on the rotten testicles of society, I’d probably join them.
I like Phish.
I’ve heard a song or two by the Happy Dead…no, that’s not it…the Groovy Dead?
Eh. Whatever.
Fucking hippies.
Get a goddamn job.

10:14 PM
Just realized that tomorrow is Friday the 13th.
I feel like celebrating it.
Anyone up for watching all eleven “Friday the 13th” movies?
It’s all or nothing people, no flaking.
You pussies.
You make me sick.
Go fucking smoke up with the hippies.
Douchebags.
Organic granola douchebags.