Semprini?

3.28.06
9:15 PM
Oh ho! I was quite the tricky devil today, I tell you!! After my morning audition for something called Cablevision (I fucking loathe Cablevision auditions) I was ready to be a depressive asshole ALL DAY until it was Hospital time. BUT I tricked myself into going to swim instead. I remembered that I had switched part of my shift with another operator so I didn’t go on until 5pm. I realized that swimming at 11:32 am was totally feasible…and I did so. In fact, I did a hooty poo more than that…
I took my regiment from 70 to 80 laps (to see if my body could handle it/tell the difference) and that went great, then I enjoyed a steam and a stretch in the Totally Hetero Steam Room (not to be confused with the Hyper GAIDS in Your Poop Chute Steam Room…NEVER to be confused with that one…oooooh no, not unless you want to open your brown eye in terrible, piercing surprise…) after which I had a pleasant (and also totally hetero) shower in the Totally Hetero Shower Room. I then had my shoes shined (yes, there is a Shoe Shine Boy enlisted at the New York Athletic Club (I’m sure to no one’s surprise)) and met up with Chris for Dog Bottling and lunch. I had a large lunch. Tres grand. Very tres grand. While I was waiting for Chris to return the celebrity dog to its handlers I stopped into a nearby Tower Records and blew some money on Peaches’ “Fatherfucker” and Prince’s “Lovesexy”. I figured if I am to truly enjoy Peaches when I see her (against my will) in June, I should know her stuff. “Fatherfucker” is her second album and, although it won’t be showing up as a Short List nominee any time soon, it is a far cry better than her first album It is still simple and vulgar, but there is some sort of dirty complexity to it that was absent from her first “effort”. As far as “Lovesexy”? Well, as a man who uses that to describe himself, I feel like I should own the album for which the term was coined. Also, I don’t own NEARLY enough Prince albums.
Going back to the June NIN concert for a moment, tomorrow is the super advanced fan club pre-sale (which will last about three minutes). It starts at noon sharp and I have another Evergreen Financial voiceover booked from 9 am to 11am. I am INCREDIBLY worried I will not make it back to my PC in time but I have my trusty sister as a backup. If she sleeps through my call, she will not live to see her next Birthday. This last leg of the tour (early June to 7/09) will be the last NIN tour in the U.S. for a while (said Trent Reznor in a recent post) and he assures everyone that they will not be disappointed when they come to see it. I caught one show from the first leg (sort of a “getting used to the new material” leg, nothing major as far as production), one from the second (100% perfect in every way), missed this current (third) leg (mostly bumblefuck towns scattered around the U.S.) and I plan to catch the nearest one to me on this fourth and final leg. In fucking Long Island’s Jones Beach Amphitheater. Fucking asshole tour booking agent. Camden, NJ, Long Island, NY and Saratoga, NY. Yeah. Good one. Anyway, I’m not like those people that see the five (or twelve) shows nearest them. I like to have one night, one image in my head with which to associate the current live interpretation of the band. According to the chick from the production house (Paula Satorius…LOVE that fucking name, like a Bond villainess…) we’re booked from 9 to 11 so I should have an hour to get from Broadway between 49th and 50th to my home. I am planning on taxiing like a ‘mofugger jet plane and (I’ve always wanted to do this) telling the driver there’s an extra five or ten in it for him if he gets me there by 11:50. Actually, that reminds me, I have to hit the ATM before I leave for the studio tomorrow. Hang on, I’m going to do that now…

10:00 PM
Iight. All set. Just a note for you all that read this and that gave me checks, a lot of them are going to clear my account tomorrow and one is going to clear Thursday. The down payment ($750) will be deducted very soon (probably this week) and then the rest after that. I don’t know if I have told you all about this vision I had or not but; I see myself making a HUGE breakfast of eggs and bacon and cantaloupe for everyone in the house. Gia will be bringing her Waffle Maker so, that’s sexy. As far as beds and who is sleeping where goes, refer to my earlier entry (somewhere on this page) for the order of confirmation and bed preferences. There are four bedrooms (two with queens and two with two twins) and a queen sofa bed. We can go by the list, or we can work out who goes where when we all get together. The only two couples are Chris and I and Lauren and Ray (but they will not be able to stay the whole seven days, maybe four or so) so anyone with a problem with the sleeping arrangements can switch with them when they vacate. Also, we are/aren’t expecting four other people (Will, Jen, Lisa and Leah) who might be able to crash in, on or around the extra bed(s) if everyone wants to stay where they started. Again, bring your own beach towels, linens (bed sheets, pillow cases etc.) and condoms. Any condoms given out by me will be covered in sand, inside and out (if you’re into that, call me later), you have been warned.
I think I am done here…