3.30.06
4:40 PM

Had my own person al “what do you mean, ‘what?’” experience today. Although this was MUCH more professional. The guy had an actually liquor bottle, not a Snapple bottle and he also had an accomplice, wait, I’m sorry, a “4 month pregnant wife” (he made it very clear, several times that she was 4 months pregnant). I was coming back from the Laundromat with my clothes, carrying a big, heavy bag. I saw there was someone up ahead in the middle of the sidewalk so I went further over to the left so as not to bump them. Sure as sugar, as I walk past, he swerves and bumps into me. I thought nothing of it until I heard the sound of a liquor bottle hitting the ground.
Part of me knew INSTANTLY exactly what was going on, but another part of me was a bit wary. This wasn’t three big white guys in the middle of a totally empty Times Square at 4 in the morning; this was one big white guy in Harlem with a lot of gangstas keeping me in their periphery. I didn’t know how to react. Part of me wanted to grin and clap the guy on the back and say, “Been there, done that, Stinky.” But this guy was NOT having it. It went from “you broke my bottle” to “you hit me in the eye with your bag AND broke my bottle” to “you broke my bottle AND hit my in the eye with your bag AND I cut my finger on the broken bottle when I touched it trying to take it out of the bag to show you it’s really broken (thank you, Will, for putting the idea to ask him to show me the bottler into my head…)”. First he wanted me to go into the liquor store with him to buy him a new bottle of Cisco (sp) (I can’t remember what the first guy said we broke; I think it was vodka, but wouldn’t it be a kick if he also claimed it was Cisco?), then he wanted the cash equivalent ($12.50) and then he said he would “go half with me” and he asked for $6.25. Now, don’t think that he was in a jovial, bargaining mood. Oh no. He was quite the pugilist and totally unafraid of me. He was a FOOT shorter than me and was aaallll up in my grill. He yelled at me for “disrespekin’” him in front of his 4 month pregnant wife, then he started walking into to me as I was trying to walk away. Then he did The Reach and pleaded with me not to make him do something he didn’t want to do. I just kept apologizing and insisting that I was neither disrespecting him nor his beautiful 4 month pregnant wife and that I had no money sine I was just returning from doing my laundry. He asked how much I had spent on the laundry and I said 8 quarters at which point he insisted I could pay him in quarters. Anyway, eventually, his 4 month pregnant wife sort of gave him a signal and they both just left.
Soon after came the flood of should haves, could haves, would haves (just as the time before, except this time I didn’t have Phil or Will to bounce them off), a flood in which I am still caught up.
Anyway, the result of this is as follows: I am now officially a racist. This doesn’t mean I will start listening to Hatecore music (which sucks) or start wearing a hood or anything as dramatic as that, what this means is that from now on, every stereotype is guilty until proven otherwise. I can only go with what I know from MY OWN LIFE EXPIRENCE. I have had a few good experiences, hundreds of neutral experiences and several bad experiences, one which endangered Christina and resulted in a 40 ounce being thrown at my head). The bad officially outweigh the good and from this point on, I am prejudiced until I have been given reason not to be. Sorry, but every fucking action has an opposite and equally powerful reaction. This fucker called me names, accused me of injuring him and his pride and threatened me, all so he could get a few bucks off me. Proactive panhandling. Ha! At least I can’t accuse this dude of being lazy, mm? Is this because I was white? Because I was carrying a huge bag of laundry and he thought I would just say sorry, here’s some money? I have no idea. But from here on out, prove me wrong or fucking be profiled.
What a pity. I was going to post about today was such a beautiful day. Thanks, Stinky.