1.11.06
9:10 PM
I just learned to say “help is on the way” in Spanish for all the Spanish residents who do nothing but scream in Spanish. It’s my way of adjusting and adapting to the culture in which I am immersed every day.
I also bought fifteen dollars worth of Lindt chocolate. It was the best Duane-Reade had to offer and enough to satiate my unexpected craving. If I start bleeding from my genitals…man, I don’t know.
I bought three packages of the Lindor Truffles (white chocolate in white chocolate), two bars of milk chocolate squares filled with milk chocolate and two bars of pure white chocolate. Hm. I have an erection.
Anyway, I hope they last more than a few hours considering that one pack of three truffles is 69% of my daily allowance of saturated fat. On the upside it’s 0% of my iron, so I don’t have to worry about iron poisoning…at all since I don’t think that exists.
I was reflecting the other day about that lazy ass afternoon Phil, Gia, Kaitlyn and I spent playing cards at my apartment a while back. Man, was that the stuff dreams are made of.
Now Phil and Kaitlyn are on some other continent and there aren’t two other people that are willing to waste their time playing cards on my floor. Sigh.
I have to stay an extra hour tonight because my usual relief has called in sick. At least my sneaky, manipulative supervisor is the one who will have to take one for the team if she can’t find a replacement. Justice is sweet…like…chocolate…white chocolate Lindor Truffles…
I have to poop.
11:11 PM
BOOYAHKAH! Turns out, I am doing the whole damn night shift. I am very excited for some reason. Is it because I haven’t been paid to watch movies in such a long time? Is it because I enjoy the feeling of being the “Night Operator” once again? Or might it be the half pound of chocolate I have tearing through my system at this moment? Fuck my scumhole I believe it’s all fucking three!!!!! HOOTY HOOOOO!!!!!!
I have brought with me:
The Shawshank Redemption
Monty Python’s Holy Grail
Monty Python’s Life of Brian
Family Guy Volume Three (commentary time!)
12 Monkeys
They Might Be Giants – Venue Songs (DVD)
National Lampoon’s Holiday Reunion (starring Judge Reinhold)
I also have Gorillaz’ Demon Days, Weezer’s Make Believe, V.A.S.T.’s self titled abortion and Royskopp’s A.M. Melodies on an mp3 disc in case my eyes get tired.
It’s all about options, people.
I also have white AND colored chocolate, Brita-filtered AND official Poland Springs water, Lemon-Mint AND Original Ricola aaaaaand….a Red Bull. One, single, solitary Red Bull. In case things get…difficult and I become curious whether or not Red Bull has any lasting side effects.
And as of three seconds ago, I have a VERY strong cup of Jamaican coffee chasing the chocolate within me. ZHIGAH BOOOOOM!!! I think I am going to play some solitaire first and then get Divvy wit it.
I’ll keep you updated in case I drop any jewels at the wee hours.
Ciiiiiiao.
1.12.06
3:08 AM
Played solitaire for a while. Just put on “National Lampoon’s Holiday Reunion”. High points so far include Judge Reinhold and co-star Bryan Craston (Hal from Malcolm in the Middle) washing each other in the shower. Very predictable and made for TV. Whatever. Judge Reinhold and the dad from Malcolm in the Middle as a hippie is enough for me. Also the chocolate helps.
P.S. There are also these two hot, untalented actresses. That’s good too.
4:31 AM
Wow. There was nothing right about that movie. The music, the transitions, the acting, wow. Even Judge Reinhold looked weird. Swollen and wrinkled. Bryan Cranston was depressing. There was one funny line in this movie and I’ve already forgotten it.
National Lampoon stopped being funny after Christmas Vacation. I hung my head…I hung my head.
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