Laughing in 2009 is NOT Laughing in 2012

Still sorting through and categorizing my fuckrants.
Ran across something that makes me sad.
In early 2009, I made some VERY VERY FUNNY comment about how as long as nine Inch nails has a new album out before 2014, I'll be fine...because it would be ridiculous to think (at that moment in early 2009) that they wouldn't have a new album until 2014.
Well...2014 is about a year and a half away...and Trenty Poo seems to have nothing NIN up his black, billowing wizard's sleeve...
The moral?
Fuck me for making a stupid comment.
See you in 2016, T Rez!!!

Walter Must Die.

2.28.11

3:13 pm

First, you don't know Walter and you never will so don't fucking judge me.

He must die.

He ought to die and, if I were given a sharp hammer and three minutes in a windowless room with him, I'd be happy to take care of things.

But I can't.

Thanks Obama.

Next, as everyone suspected, Reznor and Ross won their Oscar last night, and as a result, people have been interviewing him.

The only nugget my obsessed little mind centered on was what he said regarding the How To Destroy Angels LP: "Have to mix it, early fall, most likely."

Originally (and obviously I should have known that anything relating to release dates coming from Trent Reznor should be taken with a huge amount of salt), Reznor had slated the new album for January 2011. His fans, by this point, understand that when he says "soon" he means "within the next year", "very soon" "within three months" and "really really soon" "within the next day". But when he gives a month? That's different. I'll try to not Cake out as I've done over the past three years or so, but just letting you, the Internet, know that I am bummed about the potential six month wait that myself and fans are in for.

And, right along those lines, it was reported that TMBG's fifteenth studio album (and first adult album in more than a year) was due out in April, the fifth to be specific. Recently, the band spoke up and said that "an album preview EP" would be out in April and that the album itself was now scheduled for July.

July.

As in, four months from now.

Last week the new Radiohead album came out. It's called The King of Limbs, it's eight tracks and 38 minutes.

Personally, I'm a two/three/four-tracks-an-album guy when it comes to Radiohead, usually discarding the rest for whatever reason (although Thom Yorke's The Eraser was awesome), and this new one is in the same place as their previous ones.

I mention this because of the recent disturbing trend in popular music where time between albums is getting longer and the albums themselves are getting shorter.

Is this the artists' way of antagonizing pirates?

"You want to steal our music? Fine, here's 40 minutes for the next few years, steal THAT you little shits."

That's healthy.

Surprised and disappointed that Haley whatshername from True Grit didn't win for Best Supporting.

Have to see Melissa Leo in The Fighter to know whether or not I should continue feeling this way.

Also, apparently I need to see The King's Speech.

That thing fucking swept.

Anyway, along with Oscar Fever, I caught Dead Space 2-orrhea.

I bought the game when it came out (on January 25th) and have held off playing it, despite hearing people rave about it, for fear I would disappear into it.

I'm about 85% done with the game after two play sessions, about five hours each.

I'm not even done with it and I'm already looking forward to playing it again.

They have improved upon everything from the first game and executed perhaps the most brilliant revisiting of a previous area I've ever encountered.

And it looks and sounds fantastic, just like its predecessor.

In particular, there's a segment where you are manually realigning a bunch of solar panels while floating over Titan and you can just stop for a moment and look down at Jupiter...absolutely stunning.

Plus there's a new enemy which is, basically, an exploding baby.

So that's rewarding.

I should be done tonight unless I have something tomorrow morning that restricts me from finishing up.

Oh, and Will, it might not be the exact same as Diana's, but Chris followed her directions to the letter last night and made some amazing arroz con pollo.

It really does have to do with not touching the rice it seems.

How odd...

And speaking of Will, massive congrats to him on shucking off the boring humdrum chains of the Google Lunar X-Prize and stepping into the high class world of luxury, recreational space travel.

One more time.

LUXURY, RECREATIONAL SPACE TRAVEL.

Unless space disappears in the next few years, Will will actually be in space before he's 33.

So, he's pretty much taken care of.

He's going to space.

What else is there?

I suppose he could finish the Tall Like Paul screenplay...maybe even while he's in space...he could use that pen that writes in space that the US government developed.

Or a pencil.

Whichever.

In other BFFLOLROXORZ!!!1! news, I'm super-stoked, once again, to read Phil's latest novel, Blood From The Mountain.

Or Mount.

Whatever.

I admit that I am even more stoked for his March novel, the second chapter in his Grind Show series.

I dug the hell out of the first.

In fact, it might be my favorite thing he's written, certainly my favorite novel of his.

Christina has yet to read it and, although we celebrated our 11th anniversary on Friday and over the weekend, we won't make it to twelve unless she reads the first Grind Show in the next few weeks.

See Phil? THAT is how dedicated a fan I am.

I want your word babies.

I also want you to write my biography.

Maybe in April?

call me

**************************************Finished Perdido Street Station tonight.
Man oh man does that guy China know how to fuck over some heroes.

Tabula Rza

1.10.11

7:26 pm

WELCOME BACK TO THE BINARY MOTHERFUCKAAAAAAAAAAAAS!!!!!!

Anyway.

Sat down and did a bunch of work on "El Viaje de la Pesadilla" this weekend.

Stepped away from editing the main feature to work on some DVD menu stuff and some additional features.

I'm terrified this thing isn't going to fit on a disc.

Or, if it does, that the quality will be shit.

Whatever.

I suppose we'll see.

Almost half done, but I plan on grinding a bit to catch up with myself.

About 90% finished with AC: Brotherhood and suddenly things are happening so fast that bits of plot are getting left out and the game is feeling rushed; which is shitty as it's been great thus far.

Started playing a game called Amnesia last night.

Amnesia is a PC only game that's supposed to be more frightening than anything released in recent memory.

The sound is done very well, but my graphics card is a bit lacking so things either look choppy and beautiful or Wolfenstein and smooth, both resulting in shit gameplay.

I think I might have to go with the latter when I eventually start encountering enemies that can hurt me.

Actually, after about three hours of (veeery slow, cautious) playing last night, I finally encountered my first enemy that's able to kill me.

And they did.

And I was terrified.

I think the game is going to get more exciting from here on out.

Sounds can be very effective, but unless you can be harmed by the thing making the sound, it starts to get old.

That's actually a problem I have with most of the Silent Hill series (and the earlier Resident Evil games); in any one game there are only so many enemy types and they all make very specific sounds, so much so that you are able to enter a room, not see any enemies and yet still determine exactly what type of enemy is in the room and therefore ready yourself with whatever weapon is most effective against said enemy. Once they've introduced all the enemies, the ambient sound is less effective because you know it's only sound, nothing that can harm you. I haven't played enough Amnesia to know if it has the same problem, but I hope not.

Anyway, in Amnesia, you have no weapons, only tinderboxes (for lighting the lamps, torches and candles you find scattered around the gloomy castle) and a lantern, both which offer only a small respite from the darkness and are finite.

Oh, and too much time spent in the dark drives you insane.

Lot of tension in this game.

You're either holding a light which allows you to be seen by enemies or you're in the dark, losing your mind.

Other than the ability to light a lantern and carry it around with you, you can pick items up and throw them, perhaps for the purpose of distracting your unkillable adversaries, I'm not sure.

They've been doing a great job thus far, but I've only been scared once or twice, which might be a compliment based on my history with survival horror games.

There's been a slight Lovecraftian feel to the game, but not specific; merely mention of Algeria and tombs in the desert.

Graphics are a real bummer...

Will play more of that some time soon.

Sat down with Chris and watched the latest Jeunet movie, Micmacs.

It's amazing.

Buy it on Blu Ray.

Twice.

As usual, the casting is perfect, the characters are brilliant and stand out and the sets, costumes and props are incredible.

I haven't watched COLC or Delicatessen in a while, but this might be my favorite of his.

Highly, highly recommended.

I've also been watching my way thought the complete Superman Animated series from the mid to late 90's.

Doesn't hold up as well as Batman but there are some gems, specifically the first appearance of Mr. Mxyzptlk.

Great episode and great casting.

Hopefully the series will get better as it goes on, after all the "here's a new villain!" and "look, Superman has heat vision, oooooh!!!" episodes are over.

The next three are a three part story where Superman teams up with Batman.

Done and done.

Was able to check out Reznor's appearance at MOMA for the Times over the weekend.

He and Atticus Ross are now working on the score for the David Fincher remake of "The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo".

According to him, it doesn't sound the same as the score for "The Social Network".

Also, the full length "How To Destroy Angels" album doesn't sound like the EP.

Honestly, that "news" is to real news what Twinkies are to food.

He did say that the goddamn deluxe/surround version of The Fragile is coming out some time around Spring.

I'll believe it when I pre-order the exclusive limited edition version and the redesigned tour t-shirt for $590.

Maybe.

Have an audition tomorrow morning for Athenos yogurt.

Yogurt.

*sigh*

And speaking of yogurt, Phil has started video blogging about his million word project.

Folks, I have never noticed how lush and full his eye lashes are!

That boy...whoo!

Is it all right if I come down there and sing to yoou?

I certainly hope so.

Because I've spent a lot of money on duct tape and Chapstick.

He also appears to be building a beard, as am I.

And Will, I believe.

We truly are three bearded friends.

I think it's gross how "beard" and "bread" are only one letter off.

Like, I don't want one in the other, are you nuts?

That's gross.

About halfway through The Word According To Garp by John Irving.

It has its ups and downs like he usually does but it isn't bad.

Also just started reading 100 Bullets.

If it doesn't get better, I'm going to stop.

All right.

I'm done.

Cake, No Sodomy*

9.17.10

3:32 pm

Yes. Cake.

Yesterday, I took off from work to see Cake perform at Summerstage IN Rumsey Playfield. Up until Monday I didn't know the two were the same thing.

Thank you Central Park Recreations Committee, you scum.

Anyway, my sister and I showed up unnecessarily early (about 4:45 for the 8 o'clock show) and were STILL 5th and 6th in line after three people who were fast asleep on the ground when we got there and two guys sitting on a rock trying to look interesting.

Things were fine for a while, the power was being switched on and the instruments plugged in and then Cake started sound checking.

Then came the Thunder.

Then came the Lightning.

Then came the Flood.

For a solid ten minutes, the world kind of ended...all with Kathy and I huddled under umbrellas.

The sky was green/yellow/gray.

And wet.

Then it stopped.

Eventually, the music started again and Cake played about five songs (missing a horn or vocalist here or there) and we knew things were going to be okay.

Soon, a lot more people showed up including Lisa and her sorority sister, Lindsey, who, apparently, has been hearing stories about me for ten years.

I certainly hope I delivered, although without my army of dildos and whatnot, I don't know if that was possible.

All the more reason to have a few on me at all times.

More the fool I.

Lisa came equipped with four cup cakes in order to have cake...at Cake...get it?

Well, some guy announced that that was "clever", although his subtext was so clear he might as well have just screamed "I WANNA CUPPY CAKE!! ME ME ME!!!!" while tearing his face off with his teeth.

Pseudointellectual smarminess is no substitution for cup cakes.

Fucker.

Anyway, we were dead goddamn center on the railing for the whole show.

It was very much along the lines of their show last year at Terminal 5, except it wasn't raining inside Terminal 5.

A few tracks I didn't hear last time like Pentagram (a real treat as it's one of my favorites from their first ), Shadow Stabbing and a new new one called Away (which has a very Mexico feel to it) although I would have loved to hear Italian Leather Sofa and Short Skirt Long Jacket again.

They had the typical long-ass-sing-along to Jolene, Sheep Go To Heaven and Sick of You as before, plus the tree giveaway, all of which could have been replaced with an extra song or two, but, whatever, it's their show and it was fun.

Plus, fina-fucking-lly, they announced the new album title and, praise the Bulbous Melon of Goodness, a release date.

"Showroom of Compassion" will be released on January 11 or 18th, 2011.

Why it's taking them over four months to release an album which has been done for six weeks and anticipated for six years is something I'll never accept, especially in the age of Radiohead, Nine Inch Nails, Beck and a ton of other artists just self releasing their new works the moment they're mixed over the Internet.

Come on, releasing it on the Internet with save some trees.

You like trees, don't you?

You whiny ass hippy fucks...

Whatever.

The date has been set and it'll be Day One for me whatever the case.

I have to say though, getting twelve or thirteen new tracks (three of which you're pretty familiar with from their live show) after six years?

That's kind of harsh.

I understand that Cake aren't really the "double album" kind of guys, but throw us a bone here, please?

I was thinking of just asking them last night what took them so long, but that probably wouldn't have been received as the well-meaning, genuinely curious question it is.

Meh.

We'll see.

After the show, we staggered home and watched Clue.

That movie is still one of my favorites and, check this shit out, Tim Curry wasn't the actor originally considered for Wadsworth.

Now, I can imagine what you might or might not be thinking, who else could possible do as great of a job with role as Tim Curry?

Rocky Horror Picture Show?! Hellooo? Helllooooo?

How about Rowan Atkinson.

Or maybe John Cleese.

Yeah.

I suddenly wish I could dimensional hop and see those two versions of Clue.

Can...you...just...imagine...?

Augh.

Pain.

BUT, I take solace from the fact that, in some other quantum eventuality, another version of myself is, at this very moment, writing about how cool it would have been to have Tim Curry as Wadsworth.

*quantum sigh*

Changing the subject.

Reznor has been teasing us with the promise of hearing new music this week and, sure enough, this morning the Null Corporation, Reznor's new self run label, posted a new link on their website (http://www.nullco.com/) to the Social Network soundtrack pre-order page.

As usual, you get some free stuff.

Namely, five tracks from the score (which feature heavy titles like Pieces Form the Whole, Eventually We Find Our Way and The Gentle Hum of Anxiety).

You can also pre-order the soundtrack in its three physical forms: a CD for $8, a 5.1 surround sound Blu Ray disc for $20 and a double vinyl for $25.

With each pre-order you receive the five track sampler and the promise of the entire soundtrack delivered to your e-mail via a link at midnight on September 28th, four days before the movie drops.

AND from the 28th to the 30th, the whole thing will be available on Amazon as mp3's for $2.99.

19 tracks for $2.99.

Hey, Cake?

Fuck you.

I've been able to listen to those five tracks once or twice and they're good. A bit more involved that some of the Ghosts stuff, which feels a bit linear at times, and a bit more surprising as well.

Reznor seems to have followed up on his promise to "practice piano more" in his spare time.

But, how excited can I really get about a movie's score?

I'm excited for new Reznor music, but, no matter how compelling an instrumental piece of music is, I really have never found myself that into the genre.

Even now, I'll only listen to a handful of Ghosts tracks when I'm feeling...I don't know...atmospheric?

Whatever.

The music is good and, apparently, the movie is great.

Quite a few reviews have popped up for The Social Network and all of them speak well of it, most mentioning the soundtrack favorably as well, specifically, there's a rowing scene that keeps getting brought up.

So I guess Reznor, Ross and Fincher found a way to make all this dark-ass, moody music work with the story of Facebook.

Way to go guys.

I think that might bring me up to today.

Oh, I also picked up Space Invaders Infinity Gene from PSN yesterday.

Basically, it's Space Invaders fallen through a black hole and into the end of 2001: A Space Odyssey and everyone had done acid and cracked techno music to 11.

Mind.

Blowing.

One last thing, I downloaded a HUGE torrent of Warren Ellis graphic novel and comic stuff.

This man...is sick.

He also writes angry Brits better than anyone I've read.

He has his own Zombie Apocalypse title called BlackGas.

I've read the first mini-volume (three issues) and it's different from the typical zombie thing already. Hard to do these days.

I recommend it to any zombiephiles.

Also, his Emma Frost is the truest I've ever read, I can't imagine anyone voicing her better than him.

Going to Eels alone next Saturday.

Bummer.

Okay.

Fin.

*A little sodomy.

The Book of Road of Another Version of the Truth

8.3.10

4:25 pm

First off, watched Cormac McCarthy's The Road last night.

Whereas The Book of Eli was more comic book/stylish/action movie, The Road was more...we are gonna fucking die.

Dark shit.

Went along pretty well with the book, but for the addition of flashbacks to his wife and (sort of) how things got to be how they are.

A nice addition.

Nice job,

Nice, dark, dead job.

Moe importantly, Chris and I had our engagement/machete party last week.

A resounding success despite the lack of rooftop access (although I'm sure more people would have partook of the Chopping and been less Afraid if we'd had it) and a shorter than expected (five hours) duration.

We had a metric fuckton of people (that's 33 for all you non-mathematicians out there...like anybody that reads this isn't a mathematician...silly, silly me...) and it was delightful to see so many people that we usually don't.

This party has spurred us to want to have more and more frequently.

So, whip out your party hats, because hopefully, you'll be seeing a lot more of us.

Bill showed up and presented us will YET ANOTHER machete, this one was his father's and has actually been used to cut through vines and such in Burma and places like that.

It's a bit smaller than its Honduran cousins, but it's a fuck lot sharper too.

As in, you could die by touching it.

Our plan is to de-rust it (it's a leetle oxidized at the mo') and mount it with the others.

And then gut home invaders with it.

So, any home invaders out there?

Come on over and meet my little friend, Choppy III AKA Victor the Victorious.

We're naming our machetes now.

I've spent the last two nights rewatching Spaced, the British TV show written by Simon Pegg and Jessica Stevenson Heynes and directed by Edgar Wright.

These guys...boy oh boy, so glad they kept making stuff.

Jessica is just adorable.

Also hunted around (Google searched) and found a brand new teaser for the upcoming David Fincher movie, The Social Network, featuring brand new Reznor/Ross music.

As I thought, the music lends a slightly overdramatic feel to things.

This is going to be a really odd score for this movie, I think.

We'll see.

And speaking of Reznor, my Another Version Of The Truth Blu-Ray arrived today.

A little background.

A few years ago, Reznor leaked about 400GB of HD footage from their Lights In The Sky tour.

The original plan was to film a concert in 3D with James Cameron directing, but scheduling got fucked and the whole thing was abandoned.

This was a massive sad face for me and thousands of fans, because this tour was, by far, the most technically impressive, full of moving LED screens which used interactive, real-time elements during the show.

It would have made an incredible Blu-Ray release.

Anyway, some fans decided to take the 400GB (three whole shows worth of raw footage) and assemble a master edit, then release it, free (except for shipping) for anyone that wanted it.

After time there were torrents made available, then regular DVD's and then, finally, the Blu-Ray.

I got mine today.

Had a chance to pop it in a have a look.

These guys did a great job.

The ONLY problem I'd mention is the lack of professional editing.

Other than the occasional sloppy or odd edit, the thing looks amazing.

So, for $11 I got the professionally printed Blu-Ray of the leaked footage (called "The Gift"), a DVD of the last NIN show from that tour and a bonus disc with some pretty cool shit on it, all in a professionally printed package including artwork and some other dorky NIN fanboy goodies you would probably not care to hear about.

MAGIC MISSILE!!!!!

Magic Missile, indeed...

Anyway, now I'm planning a small (I can think of 8 people that might be interested) gathering to watch this tasty little biscuit at my place.

Should be fun.

Could that be it?

Well, I could mention that there's this dude here that believes Cool Water cologne doesn't smell like toilet cleaner or maybe he just has gangrene or massive halitosis and just pours the shit on every night before he gets here so he funks up the tiny, non-ventilated office I'm in so it stinks like the 80's whenever he shows up.

He smells awful and it makes me want to sob.

Maybe I'll bring Chris' respirator and see if he gets the point.

The point that he smells like a magazine insert.

Or maybe not.

He might be self conscious.

Of smelling horrible.

Anyway.

Yeah.