Two Decisions, One Realization and Some Bullshit

6.28.11

3:13 pm

 

I've had a realization: Kevin James is probably the best comparison for white people to what Tyler Perry is for black people.

Both as far as his mind-boggling popularity with the masses and his uncanny ability to irritate more than an oozing skin rash on one's coronal ridge that extends to the perineum and all the way up to the ass neck.

Does anyone have any government connections?

Like say...connections that would be interested in killing James, Perry and Larry the Cable Guy and making it look like some sick, S&M murder-suicide?

Tweet me.

On the DL.

Oh, quick aside, the new Twitter is a bag of dicks.

 

Also, I've made a decision: when forced to interact with the few individuals here that I loathe, I am going to speak with a slight but noticeable speech impediment

More precisely, I am going to talk in what I like to call my Big Dumb Voice.

Ask me for a demonstration some time, you'll be so happy you did.

This is solely for my own benefit, but if these people end up hating it, well, bonus.

What are they going to do, report me for "talking funny"?

I'd love to be called into some office for that.

It would start quite an interesting dialogue...which would get me super fired, super fast.

 

I've also decided to take part in the recently announced contest to create an official music video for They Might Be Giant's latest single "Can't Keep Johnny Down".

While I might not love the song, the grand prize, aside from creating the official video for TMBG, is $1,000 and a pizza from the pizzeria of my choice.

John Hodgeman is the judge and I think I know what he likes.

Hint: it's not Macs.

 

 

In other creative news, last night I recorded chapter thirteen of forty one of The Grind Show.

Having some trouble with Javi at times, but hopefully it will work out.

 

And: I had a chance to plug in my new Warlock to my MBox and it sounds fucking awesome.

I am thinking about using it to make a more action packed theme for The Grind Show.

We'll see.

And, in case you were wondering, having an electric guitar does NOT mean I can suddenly play or even sound like I can play.

In fact, my first demo for that new theme was created by me using the guitar more as a keyboard than a guitar.

I also had a lot of effects on Pro Tools.

 

Anyway.

When not creating, I have been destroying.

Destroying Africans.

But don't worry, they're Infected Africans.

Hm.

None of that sounds good.

Let's take this again.

I have been playing Resident Evil 5, which features several moments which, if taken out of context, would look really bad to any random member of Amnesty International.

Really excellent, really frightening, sometimes frustrating game.

 

I've also gone back to the Action Teat that is 24.

Maybe a third of the way through season seven, the penultimate season.

Janeane Garafalo is a bit too Janeane Garafalo for me to forget that she is, in fact, Janeane Garafalo.

Dig?

I call it Bruce Wills Syndrome.

And people are now officially coming back from the dead.

And Jack has no government agency backing him this time around.

Stakes feel a little lower after all the crazy shit from the last few seasons, but, like I said, I'm only a third or the way though, things could, literally, go nuclear at, literally, any second.

Literally.

I'm getting concerned about what I'm going to do after season eight...how am I going to get my action fix?

I might turn to drugs...Action Drugs.

 

Speaking of Action Drugs.