I'm Getting An Erection

8.9.10

7:48 pm

This Saturday, Chris and I dragged our mattresses out to cover the living room floor, donned our "Camp Counselor circa 1980" costumes and opened our place to a scant few individuals.

Alan, Lisa, Danielle and Mel, to be specific.

As I am known to be.

We watched the 1979 Harold Ramis/Bill Murray joint "Meatballs" and then the 2002 David Wain/Michael Showalter joint "Wet Hot American Summer".

I had never seen all of "Meatballs" before and Christ is it worthless without Bill Murray.

Every shitty line is made gold by merely passing through his mouth.

Bless.

In the middle of "Meatballs", there was the inevitable moment where the two dorks are sneaking into the Ladies Dorm and watching the "do stuff".

In "Meatballs", the "stuff" was a bit odd.

There was one girl reading from a bodice ripper and other girls mockingly acting it out.

Nothing too sexy, but, nevertheless, the glasses nerd (as opposed to the "fat nerd") announces to his friend, "I'm getting a boner."

Okay.

Now.

I have heard this said and SAID this (jokingly) hundreds of times in my life, BUT Alan assures me that teenagers do, seriously and sincerely, say this to one another.

Why?

WHY?

Alan provided that they don't understand how awkward that actually is, but I have to disagree.

Why in the hell would you just turn to someone and inform them you have a boner?

Unless it's an attractive woman who has offered to play with it?

Or due, if you're into that.

But why would one straight male teenager say it to another?!

I'm mind blown here, folks.

Aside from that mini-aneurysm, everything else went fine.

AND I have actually left my mattress in the living room and slept there the past two days.

It's fun!

Like a sleepover in my own house!!!

I may just leave it there indefinitely, but who knows.

I think this is uninteresting.

I'm finished.