The Second Half of 'The Wrestler'

4.7.10

10:18 pm

So:

1. No.

2. Sort of.

3. I don't know.

4. Yes, lots.

Just finished the fifth and final book of The Hitchhiker's Guide.

The last book, Mostly Harmless, was a bit like diarrhea.

It seems to just keep going and going, then you think it's over, then it keeps on going.

And, when it's done, you have an unpleasant, brown sludge left behind and your ass is bleeding.

I don't blame Douglas Adams; it's common knowledge that he didn't want the last book published, I blame the asshole(s) who thought money was more important than keeping this turd safely tucked away somewhere.

Like at the bottom of a septic tank.

Had an audition today.

But I signed a non-disclosure agreement.

So I can't tell you anything.

What I will say is that it reminded me of an audition I had years ago for some toilet paper commercial.

In it, I was playing the voice of Elvis.

I said something about how "tender" I was and how this toilet paper was good, and the last line was a woman announcer saying "Elvis has left the bathroom."

Obviously, the commercial was never made.

You don't have Elvis hawking toilet paper...especially since he died on the toilet.

This thing today had nothing to do with Elvis or toilet paper, but it just felt like something that...might not be made.

I don't know.

Maybe I'm completely off base.

I suppose we'll see.

Don't think I got it though.

I woke with a fever today, 99.4 and then woke later with a higher fever, 100.7, so I definitely didn't bring both guns to this audition.

Which is a bummer.

Oh well.

Shit happens.

And Elvis has left the bathroom.

In a body bag.

Because he shit himself to death.

True story.