4.27.10
4:06 pm
People get excited about different things.
I, for one, get excited when news of the new Bond movie surfaces or when a band I like is about to put out a new album, etc.
Sometimes it's as simple as catching the bus right as I arrive at the stop or a nice breeze.
Understandably, things that excite me don't excite there people and vice versa; this team is in the World Series, that Pope is going to say this about that, etc.
But, every once in a while, you hear about something that really shouldn't, at least in your own humble, insignificant opinion, excite anyone.
For example. the new sandwich from KFC which replaces the bread with chicken.
Yes.
Chicken-sandwich filling-chicken.
From the minds that created the KFC Famous Bowl.
The chicken-instead-of-bread sandwich.
As I have just said, this should not excite anyone.
Here's why, broken down into demographics:
1. People Who Have Never Heard of KFC - Because they've never heard of it and will continue their lives as such.
2. People Who Have Heard of KFC (a few sub categories here)
A. People who know of KFC, but never eat there - because they never eat there.
B. People who know of KFC and eat there as a joke - They'll try the new sandwich, regret it immediately and then never eat it again. Yes, perhaps there is excitement, but it is ironic and short lived at best.
C. People who know KFC and eat there often AKA fat people - They will hear the news that all that nasty, deceptively healthy bread (in this instance, the "deceptively" in "deceptively healthy" refers to the fact that, although bread is supposed to be healthy, this is KFC bread and not made from things usually considered to be healthy) has been replaced with deceptively mouth-watering, chicken (in this instance, the "deceptively" in "deceptively mouth-watering" refers to the fact that, although some (fat) people think the chicken is mouth-watering, it isn't, they are thinking about pudding at the same time and their mouths are watering because of that), get a fat hard on and die instantly, never actually making their way to their local KFC to purchase and "enjoy" the sandwich. So, again, yes, you might say there is some excitement, but it is fatal and, therefore, short lived.
D. Black people - Because they're trying to stem the tide of stereotypes*.
But folks...I...was...WRONG.
Just now, the person not three feet from me asked, in a hushed, beholding-the-Light-of-Truth-for-the-first-time voice: "...did you try the new sandwich...?"
In response, this person's friend said, in a I-have-blown-the-cock-of-the-Lord-and-it-was-Good voice: Yes! It had barbeque sauce on it!!!"
Hey, even I can be wrong sometimes.
Anyway, I spent some time with Red Hot Chili Peppers' "One Hot Minute" album yesterday and today.
Man , is that solid.
Also listened to the new New Pornographers album, "Together ".
A disappointment after "Challengers", but there's still some good stuff on there. "My Shepard" and "Valkyrie in the Roller Disco" are pretty great.
It's a bummer that I don't dig Nico Case's solo stuff as she is mighty talented and her voice has wonderful layers to it.
Just a bit too folk/country for me.
Just as A.C. Newman's solo stuff is a bit too trendy SoHo chic for me.
I just hope they both skip the solo albums this time around and put out a new NP album before 2013.
Re-reading Palahniuk's Snuff.
Then Turn Coat, then Changes, then the first three Demon Prince's books, then the new Palahniuk, Tell-All, which, according to early reviews is a lot like old Palahniuk.
So busy so busy!!!!!!!!
And production is halted on my latest (and possibly greatest) song because of my lack of a keyboard.
Need to get on that as I may have a number one on my hands...by which I mean urine.
I may have a urine on my hands.
Excuse me.
6:57 pm
Remember how the Duane Reade was playing that horrendous thing the other day?
I was just there, and they were playing "Steal My Sunshine" by Len.
Ouch.
That's low.
"Does she like...butter tarts?"
She does.
She does like butter tarts.
7:02 pm
Also, the reason I was at Duane Reade was for a snack.
I wandered about for a while and discovered something hot.
It's called Poppycock.
It's Cracker Jack for adults.
And it's called Poppycock.
Thank you, shambling corpse of Orville Redenbacher, thank you.
Hm.
Speaking of Orville Redenbacher, put a gray wig, moustache and beard on him and you've got the Colonel.
Ha!
The synchronicity tastes like a chicken-poppycock-chicken sandwich.
9:29 pm
One last thing.
During my lunch, I saw a tanker with the name AirGas on it.
I think that's a funny name for a gas company.
It would be like a restaurant called HamFood or something.
I'd eat there, but every time I did, I'd certainly think to myself, "Now that's a funny name for a restaurant" and I'd smile.
*Phil and Danielle and I went to a KFC in her old neighborhood in BFE Brooklyn and the whole place looked like the set from some National Lampoon movie from the 70's, namely the set of Animal House when the guys went to that club, but instead of a club, it was a KFC, and, while no one asked to dance wiff our dates, a black guy DID try to sell me a bootleg of The Dark Knight.
So fuck you.
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