and again and

******
56 times per minute
3360 times per hour
26,880 total in 8 hours

I want you to think of those numbers. Think of something you would not like to experience 56 times a minute for 8 hours, nothing outrageous or life altering, just something repetitive and annoying. I’m really in no mood to beat around the bush, imagistically speaking.
When I came into work tonight, the duplicitous smilestab bitch Debbie (Will, think Dorcas meets Janus) lets me know that a panel has “gone out”. She’s a bit of a tard, so I smile and nod and roll my eyes. Tardo the Dumpyy was right. A panel had indeed “gone out”. For all you lay people out there, allow me to translate this indecipherable codex….

56 times per minute
3360 times per hour
26,880 total in 8 hours

beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep
beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep
beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep
beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep
beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep
beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep
beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep

That wasn’t so tough to read, now was it? Shucks, you probably didn’t even read the whole thing, did you? Heck, assuming you know me and my sense of humor and my style of hyperbole and my love of reshaping reality to my own height standards, you most likely aren’t even reading this. You inflamed, pus-filled vaginas.
I’ve passed my 10,000th beep about 35 minute ago and, to be perfectly honest, it’s not really bugging me, wasn’t ever really really bugging me. But…it is odd. Think of a clock tha, instead of ticking quietly, beeped to mark the passing seconds. At this very instant, the idle cursor is blinking in time with the noise. Sometimes (as I will start doing around 5:30 in the morning or so) I will start to hum songs to myself using the beeping as a sort of metronome. Hey, Will, maybe, if we include the Hospital in the movie, we could use the beeping to start a song or something? Very “Dancer in the Dark”.

56 times per minute
3360 times per hour
26,880 total in 8 hours

It’s like that song from Rent, but without the Gay AIDS.

If I just sit and let my eyes lose focus, I begin to hear the tonal value of the Beeps. I listen closely, I believe that tone is changing. If I close my eyes and let the Beeps inside of my self, I can actually hear them bouncing off objects around the room. A step further, I can hear the air itself being affected by its interaction with the Beeps.
It’s so binary.
Okay, I just wanted to get that out there.

56 times per minute
3360 times per hour
26,880 total in 8 hours

11,581
11,582
11,583
******
So I arrive home at around 7ish in the AM, and then, being myself, I scan through the dozen or so web sites I check and I came across an update to a They Might Be Giants' site. If you people want to feel stupid, then smart, go here--> http://www.nextbigthing.org/stream/ram.py?file=nbt/tnbt011405d.ra
Here's a hint, you will learn three new words: contrecoup (really cool definition), limerent (so-so definition, more complicated thah it should be, but that's what the dictionary is for) and craniosophic (very mysterious definition). I was very excited for two reasons: First, I love obscure words (not the well-known obscure ones either) and second, if TMBG keeps writing songs like this, they will quickly reisolate all the teenagers that found them because of Malcom in the Middle. And now I sleep.