Soulless? Moi?

Chris found this today.
Greg Brunkalla is the guy who directed the Nike "One Muscle" thing.
He's also plays Kevin.
Also found out that he directed the Saul Williams' video for 'List of Demands', the video that got Reznor interested in Saul Williams and lead to Niggy Tardust.
CHOMP.

Diesel's New Dark
The denim brand drops some surreal webfilms.
By: Nick Parish
A puppet made of meat, a sleepy-eyed lass in a bathtub of hair, hooded, half-nude contestants in a dungeon dance contest--all these strange, wacked-out notions are elements in Diesel's new homepage initiative, V.

The video content effort is the first from Swedish shop Farfar as Diesel's AOR, after the much-awarded Heidies "15 MB of Fame" and a nine-shop pitch to win the business earlier this year, and consists of several shows. "Dance Party," the aforementioned twisted reality show, brought a group of dancers into a basement studio and then forced them to dance, hooded, with a soulless voice directing them. "Corner Time" sees a series of various hucksters dispatch self-improvement methods, "Pete the Meat Puppet" chronicles one carne character's rise, fall and rise again and "Hair Bath" sees a heavy-lidded hostess implore viewers to send their hair to a P.O. box in Hillsdale, New Jersey so she can lounge in the tub with it.

The webfilms were executed in part by Legs, a new creative and production studio, part of the Milk Group in New York, consisting of Georgie Greville, Greg Brunkalla, Geremy Jasper and Adam Joseph. Greville and Jasper directed and wrote at MTV, respectively (you'll remember Jasper, who penned the music to "Pete the Meat Puppet," as the creator and songwriter behind MTV's Chunky Pam and founder of rock group The Fever and Greville for her Iggy-inspired short for Milk's casting service, House). Brunkalla is a director who got his start at @radical.media and also edits and Joseph, executive producer/director of creative content at Legs, is a former MTV casting director.

"The whole project was a gigantic collaboration for us," the Legs group writes. "Greg and Georgie would usually direct, Geremy would co-direct and be head writer and Adam, in the executive producer role, would oversee everything and manage our factory-like space."

A team from Farfar joined Legs at Milk HQ as they shot elements of the campaign inside the gallery/fashion/casting/production hub, going for a black and white, vintage feel for the strange tales, which have a feel to them not unlike John Waters meeting Tay Zonday in a Toys-R-Us unisex bathroom. The brief, the collective writes, was "a black and white 30-page PDF with super ambitious ideas for content of all shapes and sizes from short films to propaganda pieces to live interactive shows, all making up this surreal and mysterious internet TV station."

Judging from the initial content, 'surreal TV' is being achieved. Some of that stems from the real feel to the segments. For instance, "Corner Time," which, according to Legs, was unscripted and relied on casting guru types for its strange vibe. "Dance Party," however, took aspiring dancers and put them into a crazy, mixed-up world. In their underwear.

"There was a great moment when we first started shooting in the basement, where Adam was intensely interrogating all the dancers behind a blaring light. They became sincerely frightened and actually believed that they were being abducted into some sort of dangerous cult ritual. That was exciting. A bunch of them admitted to our PAs that they were legitimately freaked out when it was being shot. I guess being led around in your underwear with a bag over your head is a bit of a compromising situation."

Tepid and Viscous, I Remit...

12.9.08
8:18 pm

First:

Episode TWO of the Diesel Dance Party (in which I command the dancers) has just been put up on http://www.diesel.com/.

It looks as if they are going to put up one episode per week of this six episode psychodrama.

If you want to know the definition of "fear" and "sex", you need look no further than the Diesel Dance Party, for I embody BOTH while remaining disembodied.

Only I could achieve this momentous, paradoxical feat.

Second:

I defeated BOTH the Cockmasters here at my job AND in the Nokia/AT&T Machine today.

At the job, I found a way to silence the everfucking beeping that goes on in the shitty, nonfunctioning Fire System (that, ironically, wouldn't be able to tell if the System Itself was on fire) once and for all.

But the best part is, if I want to return it to its normal (read "broken") state, I can do so with the push of a button.

Fuck you, infernal beeping!

As for the Nokia/AT&T slutbags, I found a way to send ANY SOUND FILE I WANT to my new phone, regardless of whether or not it was purchased from AT&T.

Yes, I have a NEW cell phone.

It has a camera on it.

Ah. Ah ha. Ah hahahahahahahahahaha.

Prepare for penis.

At least, moreso than usual.

Third:

I am sick.

Sick sick sick sicky sick sick.

And I blame you.

Fourth:

I have nothing to go here.

Oh wait, yes I do.

So, you've seen/heard of 2 Girls, 1 Cup (and if you haven't, feel blessed)

I was recently sent something that some might consider far worse, although personally, it wasn't as disturbing to me as 2G, 1C.

Elements of it were but...

If features a man...hm...you know...this isn't something that can be just talked about or described.

You need to see it.

This is not safe for work unless you work in Hell and even then, only if your supervisor has a sense of humor.

Finally:

I am watching a British show called Skins at the moment.

It is excellent and I recommend it.

I am also giving the new Guns 'N' Roses a more thorough listen.

Look, I was a huge fan back in the day and it took 14 years to finish, I'm going to give it more than one fucking listen.

Still at the top of my Secret Santa Joke Gift List.

Even if it IS only available as a physical release from Best Buy.

Think that may be it.

Do your Thing...lest it does You...

I Am The Motherfucking Dance Commander

Yesterday, I said some things to some people that I would not have normally said.

"Have sex with the air."

"Wrestle with each others butts."

"Get international."

But...I was God.

And they did as they were told.

For fear of...reprisals.

Those reprisals were also meted out by my hand.

Yesterday...was weird.

Go to http://www.diesel.com/, and wait for my Presence.

P.S. I heard "Hangin' Tough" on the radio today.

This is going to be a long, cold winter.

Tuesday: Better Than Monday

Today. Has. Been. Awesome.

Last evening I am informed of an audition this morning at 10:20am (an unheard of time for me to be awake) at House Productions for something I might not be able to talk about yet and based on my experience with the Sci Fi Network, I'm going to err on the side of not getting yelled at by a major name in the industry.

Suffice to say that I was supposed to look as attractive and model-y as possible based on the name of the company.

So, I walk out the door, as hot as lava in summer (thanks 90% to my little nouf and 10% to my Super Fuckability) and stroll into my audition.

I soon noticed something was amiss.

At the sign in sheet for an on screen audition there is usually a script and maybe a breakdown of the project or storyboards or something else.

Today, there was a sheet that read:

PREPARATION

Do not talk to anyone in the waiting area.

Please take this as serious as possible.

You are in the underground and have been for a long time.

You have been out of the modern world for some time.

You only exist as you appear on the screen.

Always be as sincere as possible.

You often refer to yourself as "WE".

To understate: I was intrigued.

After filling out my info and getting my snap, one of the awesome chicks at House says that we're taking a trip to wardrobe.

In there, I meet Andreas who puts a cloak and mask on me.

Yes, a cloak and a mask.

I then sit, silently, out in the waiting area, not talking to anyone, getting into this character as much as I can.

I am having fun despite the heavy cloak, black satin mask and the stares I am getting...or maybe because of it?

From the audition space, I hear a blaring, discordant siren go off, once, twice.

Soon after, I hear someone playing a tambourine, badly.

And after that, the small of burning toast.

To understate: I was excited.

Then,. after about 20 minutes hunched on a bench, not talking, not looking at anyone, my name is called.

I walk into the room and it's set up like most on screen audition spaces, flat screen monitor, lights, camera, prompt boards, bounce boards etc.

There are a few people that are having a mumbled discussion about me.

They remove my mask, ask to see me without my glasses and them decide they like them.

As do I.

I go to my mark and am told to answer as seriously and sincerely as possible.

I am then "interviewed" by a distorted voice over a bullhorn.

"What is your name?"

"How long have you been here?"

"What is your favorite color?"

""Tell us about your mother."

"Tell us about your childhood."

"What is your star sign?"

"What is your lucky number?"

"Have you been treated well here?"

"Are you efficient?"

"Do you like children?"

"Have you ever been on television?"

"Take off your shoes."

"What else have you done?"

"What is your favorite?"

I'm missing some, but you get the gist.

Or most likely you don't.

It was weird, but exhilarating.

Especially when I'm usually talking about HOW GREAT OPTIMUM ONLINE IS.

Anyhoo, then they have me read from the board some phrases that seem to tie in with the project.

I won't go into them verbatim, but they were ominous.

Then they blindfolded me and gave me some objects to hold.

One was a telephone, the other was glass, that's all I know.

Finally, they said thank you, but before I could go, the director asked me to tell a joke, in the fashion I had been instructed to deliver everything thus far.

So I told the one about the man who was not enjoying sex with a prostitute until she...did something.

If you don't know it, then you aren't as close to me as you think.

I warned them it was a doozy.

So, I tell the joke, pause a moment after the punch line and then grin.

"Pretty foul, huh?"

They laugh and then thank me and applaud.

I returned my cloak to Andreas and left.

I'll let you know if anything comes from this when I'm able, but just know that this has been one of the most fun acting experiences of my life.

THIS is why I'm an actor.