You know how sometimes people cut themselves?

9.30.11

10:26 pm

You know, for like, release or to know they're alive or just because they're having a really dark day?

Well, I seem to be using Netflix as a razor recently, exposing myself to Police Academy movies as if I'd done something awful.

Okay, the first movie was ALL RIGHT, but this spiral goes fast and DEEP.

I'm two thirds of the way though the fourth entry and...Jesus...I don't know why I'm DOING this to myself...

Chris has been gone for almost ten days...perhaps I've lost my mind...things are spinning...

Anyway.

No plans to watch the fifth or sixth or seventh PA movies.

I'm not actually suicidal.

Today I picked up a package from one Dr. William J. Pomerantz and was delighted to find he'd sent me a Korg Kaoss Pad that he'd been given by some friend at M.I.T.

Oddly enough, he had no use for it (I blame is lackluster college/post college education) and knew that I like things that makes horrible noises, so he sent it along to me.

I spent some time messing with it today and made my Stylophone sound like an eternity in hell.

Methinks I like this Kaoss Pad...

As soon as I find a way to record these horrible noises, I will do so, and things will get better.

In other creative news, I am three chapters (and a tiny epilogue) away from completing my first audio book recording.

One chapter is two thousand one hundred and seventy eight words, the next two thousand three hundred and twenty two words, the penultimate one is a mere one thousand and one words, while the tadure of an epilogue is a scant four hundred and seventy nine words.

But who's counting?

Me.

I am.

I fucking am.

This has been equal parts joy and torture over the past four fucking months.

I want to both jump into the next recording immediately and slash out my own throat with a broken beer bottle with the exact same ferocity.

I fiercely love the actually act of recording Philip's words, fully immersing myself in his world and interacting with his characters, but every other aspect of the process is that, a fucking process.

My computer is just barely able to run ProTools, exploding the CPU usage from its baseline 2% to 50% the instant the program is activated, which results in failed "bounces", major issues with the HW buffer and a whole slew of other shit that is so boring and psychotically annoying to get into.

And then there is my beautiful microphone.

Industry standard, better even than some I've used on auditions and at bookings...so beautiful and so sensitive, like a ballerina...but also like a ballerina in the way it reacts to every fucking sounds within a three block radius.

And that cute phrase, "sound proofing" is a non-option, because it would involve padding every hard surface in my room with foam, and that STILL wouldn't mitigate the walls and floors rumbling when some huge fucking truck barrels by at two in the morning.

Once I am wrapped on The Grind Show, I am going to tweak some knobs and see if I can somehow work this out.

My set up is too awesome not to fully enjoy.

I'll conclude this li'l rant with the following sentiment:

GRIND SHOW MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

And then there's "Bitter Sweet".

More details on that soon.

Last week I picked up Dead Island.

It's a first person game that takes place on a quarantined tropical island resort.

It's overrun with zombies.

And you must destroy them.

The juxtaposition of shambling, moaning (or sprinting and screaming) zombies and beautiful, white sand beaches with crystal blue water is pretty awesome.

What sold me was that reviewers were calling this game "Fallout 3 with zombies".

If you recall, I put about 152 hours into Fallout 3 and loved most every second (aside from the cataclysmic, game-crashing bugs), and they really didn't have classic zombies, more like irradiated ghouls.

Anyway, having fun.

I'll have more fun once I've finished recording Grind Show.

And even more once I've finished editing it.

And even MORE fun once I've finished cleaning up the edited copy.

Then all you people are going to have to buy a lot of copies, because that is how I get paid.

You got me?

Good.

That's all for now.

Tomorrow I'm having Brunch with Ray then attending Jen Chua's birthday party at B.B. King's.

Then Sunday, my One and Only returns and I can stop all the crying and screaming.

Maybe.

We'll see.

Now.

I need you to do something for me.

I'll tell you later...