realization

6.3.08

10:02 pm

Sitting here, listening to this fucking guy in the security office rambling on and fucking on about HOW MUCH HE LOVES KUNG FU MOVIES brings me to the realization that I want to die.

Wait.

No.

I want HIM to die.

Of internal hemorrhaging.

Maybe brought on by kung fu injuries.

Yes, Bruce Lee is cool.

SHUT THE FUCK UP.

If he himself were a kung fu master then yes, I might be interested in his blather, I might even engage him in conversation, but he is a balding Hispanic guy in his late forties talking about "Bruce" like they grew up together.

"Do you know what would happen if Bruce kicked you?" is one of his FAVORITE questions.

I resisted the urge to respond, "nothing" and that he would probably crumble to the ground like cheese seeing as that he is dead and has been for decades and that maybe you should stop talking about him like he's in the bathroom waiting for you to come in and join him for a game of Ookie Cookie.

Although, if you're this dork, there's no such thing as losing a game of Ookie Cookie to Bruce.

*sigh*

He's so creamy...uh...dreamy.

Dreamy.

Nuts.

Bruce's nuts.

Slurp.

10:38 pm

NOW HE'S THE COACH OF SOME NBA TEAM!!!

Jesus Fucking Christ, this guy's imagination puts Calvin's to shame!

I bet he has a time machine in his basement too.

And a transmografier.