A review of the "Supergirl" pilot

In a shrewd and ballsy move by CBS, the pilot episode of "Supergirl" has been "leaked". Set, originally, for release in October of this year, two versions (one HD, one less than HD) showed up online a few weeks ago.

And I watched it.

Here are some thoughts:

Way to wrap up the origin in two minutes (Man of Steel, I'm looking at you...). Although I'm sure we're going to see it again. And again. And again.

Both Laura Benanti and Malina Weissman have great "cry face" acting, the former more so than the latter.

Dean Cain! Woo!

Getting a ridiculously strong Felicity Smoak vibe from Benoist. "I have glasses! I can't be hot! Look the the glasses!!!! And I bump into people!!!!!!!!!! Because of the glasses!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Eight minutes and we already have a romantic interest. Ugh.

And eleven minutes in and they're already spoon feeding us details they brought up nine minutes in. Kreisberg must really think his audience is a huge flock of magpies with ADD standing next to an exploded tinsel factory.

May that be the last not-really-funny-in-the-90's-yet-somehow-still-rehashed-twenty-five-years-later-"I-thought-you-were-going-to-say-you-were-a-lesbian!!!" lesbian joke we ever see.*

Puffy mouth bad guy, Vartox, has too much air in his tummy! Get it all out, Puffy Diddy!

The DEO angle is interesting, but I assume it's going to be 30% of every episode. The rest will be a balance of awkward exchanges between Kara and Jimmy, Cat Grant being a strong, competent, stereotypical bitch, and, I don't know, popular music? This was sort of my issue with "Alias".**

Flockhart's heavy-handed "defending the word 'girl' " speech is a bit much, but, as Kreisberg has already illustrated, he thinks he's writing for distracted birds. Perhaps he also thinks the birds are stupid.

Regarding the emotional and revealing speech Alex gives through the door of Kara's apartment…neighbors? Hello?

There are four actors worth of acting coming out of Harewood's Hank Henshaw. He really needs to rein it in.   

One positive: I'm glad that there's only a very small number of people who don't know who she is; less time wasted with those inevitable, awful speeches about trust and putting people in danger and so on. This is the first upside to having Kreisberg write a third show in this universe: even he's getting sick of his worn out formula.

Of the four shows currently being written by Andrew Kreisberg, this is the least annoying***, but it still feels so goddamn much like "Arrow" and "Flash" that I can say, with confidence, that a lot of people will watch and enjoy this show, but that I will not be one of them.

There is an infinitesimal chance that, since CBS is using fan reaction from this "leak" to change aspects of the show before its release this Fall, that we might get something better, but, like I always say, less diarrhea is still diarrhea.

* It will not be.

** The TV show, not the Bendis book.

*** Obviously, I haven't seen any of "Legends of Whatever", but I have a strange feeling that, since it's "Arrow" and "Flash" having a stupid family of badly written idiots, that that'll annoy the piss out of me as well.

A review of They Might Be Giants at the Williamsburg Hall of Music on 5/31/15 - "The Else" show

In May of 2007, They Might Be Giants released The Else, their "least coziest" album, which had been produced by themselves, their long time friend and producer, Pat Dillett, and the Dust Brothers. It is, at times, a political album ("I'm Impressed", "The Shadow Government"), a classic TMBG album ("Bird of the Bee of the Moth", "Take Out The Trash"), and a TMBG/Dust Bros. collabo ("Withered Hope", "Upside Down Frown"). It also features a Monkees pastiche, the opening track from their scrapped work on the Coraline score, a Frankenstein experiment, and a song which resulted from a challenge issued on NPR. It stands, boldly, out from their later catalogue of work and, about eight years after its release, at the nigh-submersed Williamsburg Hall of Music, it was given its due...except for "Feign Amnesia", which was too hard to learn.

Highlights from an evening absolutely teeming with highlights included "Doctor Worm"*, the instant live classic "Unpronounceable", "Withered Hope" (even with the lack of horn support), the abrasive punk assault of "The Shadow Government"** , "Don't Let's Start", "Bills, Bills, Bills" (because I know it's fleeting and because I love how angry Flans seems to get when telling us about the "triflin', good-for-nothin' type of brother"), "Twistin'", "Rhythm Section Want Ad" and "Contrecoup", which, although Linnell said they didn't do very often because it was too difficult, they made sound easy.
Lowlights included the idiot girl on ecstasy who was alternately making "heart hands" at the band, snapping her head around wildly, and licking her poor-bastard-of-a-boyfriend's teeth throughout the evening.
The. Entire. Evening.

The real star of the show, however, was TMBG's drummer, Marty Beller. He can't be 100% human. Can not. The way he obliterated tracks like "Let Me Tell You About My Operation", "The Famous Polka" and, especially, "Upside Down Frown", with their combination of precision drumming and high BPMs prove this point.
He's a weaponized drum machine in the shape of a guy from Brooklyn.

Overall, I found their lack of horns disturbing; The Else, performed live, needs horns.
Bottom line.
Despite that fact, it was still a fantastic and varied show.

Next month, the band is performing two kid's shows and then, in July, a Lincoln show.

* I saw a lot of TMBG shows in 1999 and have heard this song, with and without horns, dozens of times, but I can't remember a time when the energy was this high. Either the coffee was doing its job or the band has fallen back in love with this track.

** A performance choice which really illustrates the unease and chaos at the heart of the song.

End of the Month Music Bitchfest - May 2015

They Might Be Giants

Dial-A-Song Round Up! pt. 5

"Glean" (the final track from the album of the same name) is a delightful cha cha in hell, with a dusty, post-apocalyptic feel. A fantastically simple video.

"ECNALUBMA" shares some similarity with "Unpronounceable", but still stands strong on its own, very strong. I can see this coming up in discussions for inclusion on Glean, but I can also see it making the a Glean b-side collection, maybe even as the first track. The lyrics and horns are excellent, almost too perfectly TMBG.

Next up, a cover of The Record's 1978 single, "Starry Eyes". Don't know what to say here, it's a great, straight up cover of a nice little punk gem.

Finally, a month after its release, all of Glean has been released on DAS, now we can move on. Sorry if that came across a bit bitchy, but, I don't know, when the release date rolled around and they kept posting songs from it on DAS, I kept thinking it was a wasted opportunity.  Anyway, despite my inner turmoil, "Aaa" is a really fantastic song. I think of it as Linnell's response to Flansburgh's "Music Jail", mainly because of its freneticism. And I stand by my assessment. I also love any song with built in yelling parts, and this song is mostly built in yelling parts. Hope to see this live. The video, while nothing special, is a nice callback to the very first for "I Wasn't Listening".

This month's TMBG concert was The Else, and it was fantastic. Review forthcoming.

Nine Inch Nails

Um. Well. It appears that the Fight Club musical is happening.


In other news not directly associated with They Might be Giants, I spent some time this month with the new Blur, The Magic Whip. Normally, the way I experience Blur albums is to sift through and find which songs sound enough like Gorillaz that I can delude myself into thinking that there still is a Gorillaz, and that these are just, sort of, b-sides or tracks from some unreleased album. I did not do that with Whip, however, because almost the whole thing is fantastic.*
The slightly detuned and delightfully demented piano set against the happy sway of "Ong Ong", the straight up punk rock of "I Broadcast", the gloomy grandeur of "Pyongyang", the summery dub of "Ghost Ship", and the infectious nature of "Lonesome Street" and "Go Out"...this album is fucking great. Certainly enough to hold me over until FUCKING GORILLAZ RETURNS LATER THIS YEAR, DAMON, DO YOU FUCKING HEAR ME?

* Although I did add a song or two to my "This Could Be A Gorillaz Album" playlist.

End of the Month Music Bitchfest - April 2015

They Might Be Giants

Pretty sure there will never be as amazing of a month with regards to TMBG as this April.
FUCK YOU, GRAMMAR AND SYNTAX!

Dial-A-Song Round Up! pt. 4

"End of the Rope" is the first time in a while the music and lyrics have been so in sync. Dark and desperate. There's nothing quirky here. Great track.

I would gladly give my right arm if "Thinking Machine" is going to be the flavor of TMBG's upcoming kids' album*. It's dark in a funky way and genuinely hilarious. Plus, it's John and John, the way it was meant to be. This is the one of the first DAS tracks in a while not off their new album. Really nice 8-bit/glitch art video as well.

"All the Lazy Boyfriends" is yet another summer-scented Flansburgh gem from Glean. There's such accessibility to this...

Finally, a truly interesting piece to close out the month with "Impossibly New". It feels folksy and forest-y and old, striking in its strangeness.
Sounds a little bit like their cover of "Savoy Truffle". The first honest to goodness duet since in years and I love it for that reason.

Sunday the 26th was TMBG's Glean record release party at the Williamsburg Hall of Music, where they played just over half of the new album. While there were some great stand out moments, fantastic, really, this wasn't my favorite of their Brooklyn Stand shows. A more detailed review (WITH PICTURES!!!!) is here and the review of the album is here.

Also, no big deal, the video I did (directed and starred in) for the "Erase" music video contest was picked as one of the three winners by Black Francis of The Pixies.

And I just interviewed John Linnell. Yeah. Never mind.

Eels

On the 14th, Eels released their sixth live album/third concert film, Royal Albert Hall. Review is here.

New album announcement should be along shortly.

I also had a chance to spend some time with the new Squarepusher, Damogen Furies and I much dig it. There's an abundance of space and light here as opposed to the frantic, claustrophobic darkness usually on offer from Jenkinson. There seems to be more nuance or simply just more room in which to enjoy said nuance. "Baltang Ort" takes place in a factory where they make lightning and tin foil. After hours. "Exjag Nives" is a tour of the entire galaxy in just under five and a half minutes. "D Fronzent Aac", the closer, is a dark cathedral constructed from microchips. Furies can sound a bit clubby at times, specifically on "Kontenjaz", but it's never enough to really take you out of it.

I also decided to listen to Meghan Trainor's Title, because, I am, on occasion, curious and open-minded with regards to music.

Jesus, there is so much sincere positivity on this album...makes me feel like I shouldn't be listening to it in New York City. It's exhausting. While a few songs tend to blur into one another in a bit of a sweet, doo-wop haze, everything else is so adorable and well produced and catchier than wildfire. There's, like, six singles on this album..."Walkashame", "Bang Dem Sticks", "Title", "Lips Are Movin'", Christ, I'm dancing just thinking about them.

Plus, the nickname "M Train" is so cute I want to die.
Oh, and it's just hilarious that people think Meghan Trainor is fat.
Sorry.
Not "hilarious", I meant "sickening".
Fucking people.

More next month, go now.





* And it very well might be...

A review of They Might Be Giants' "Glean"

Since their debut album, released in 1986, They Might Be Giants, led by John Flansburgh and John Linnell, have had a penchant for pairing up-beat, cheery melodies with crushingly depressing, bleak-as-hell lyrics.* They continue this long-standing tradition with their seventeenth studio album, Glean, which could be considered their darkest album to date. Themes addressed include drudgery, murder, depression, alienation...and that's just side one. Side two covers the rest of the Gray Rainbow of Human Failings; inertia, incomprehension, agoraphobia, self-deception and self-medication.

Are you starting to get why these guys dislike being written off as "quirky"?

Almost every track here is masquerading as something else; the poppy, driving opener, "Erase", touches on repetition and strangulation, the seemingly sweet love song, "Answer" is a laundry list of compromises and disappointments, and "Underwater Woman", with its throbbing sonic intricacies, resounds with heartrending isolation and insanity.** There's only one instance on Glean where the mask slips and both the music and lyrics are in alignment, namely, "End of the Rope", where the desperation is laid bare for the listener to experience without an accordion to quirk it up. 
Not everything here is a corpse wearing a clown suit though; "Aaa" is a delightfully frantic interlude which centers around asking questions, questions, and more questions, some screamed at the top of one's voice, perhaps while covered in sweat, "Madame, I Challenge You to a Duel" is a breezy, summery tune (just one of a handful of really fantastic Flansburgh gems here) inspired by an altercation between Shelley Winters and Oliver Reed on the Tonight Show, "Unpronounceable" sounds familiar on its first listen and only gets better from there, and "Music Jail, Pt. 1 & 2" is just jouncing, schizophrenic fun.

TMBG's last album, 2013's Nanobots, was an absolute triumph, nothing as worn out and disingenuous as a "return to form", more a thrilling evolution of their sound, and there was a lot riding on Glean as its follow up. Glean's only clear failing (aside from having ten fewer tracks than its predecessor***) is the overwhelming sense of dichotomy; there are great Flansburgh songs and there are great Linnell songs, but, aside from tiny moments on "Unpronounceable" and "I Can Help the Next in Line", the two never really share any of Glean's fifteen tracks. This is supposed to be a They Might Be Giants album.

So, what did I glean from this album?**** That They Might Be Giants are three decades into their career and still making multifaceted, relevant, intriguing, well constructed music, and that their Dial-A-Song experiment, at least thus far, has been a booming success.

* It is, by no means, all they do, but, it seems, it's become what they're best known for, even though it's not some sort of gimmick or excercise in pointlessly wacky juxtaposition; the music and lyrics both hold equal importance.

** In fact, if one wants to take this sentiment of disguise and misconception further, one could look at the artwork accompanying the album: a serene treescape, marred by a detailed anatomical illustration of the human salivary gland; something vulnerable and glistening and ugly at the center of things...yeah, these guys are just too quirky. 

And I love that song from that "Malcolm" show.

*** And yet, Glean manages to clock in only five minutes shorter than Nanobots. 

**** See, while Glean is the title of the album, it can also mean "to learn or discover", making the above sentence a pun. Which is clever.

End of the Month Music Bitchfest - March 2015

They Might Be Giants

Dial-A-Song Round Up! pt. 3

"I Can Help The Next In Line" is a short and relatively sparse (slightly porn-y) disco biscuit from Linnell. The video is fantastic and bolsters what's lacking in the song, not that that really improves the song. This is the first thing from DAS that actually sounds like DAS, if you dig, and that's not entirely a good thing; it's feels sort of like it's missing something, like it's just a demo*. Maybe an extra verse or instrument. Not bad, and it really does a great job of growing on you, but it doesn't stack up to what's come thus far.

"Good To Be Alive" feels a bit like "Answer" in that it's more "grown up" than a lot of the other tracks offered here. The lyrics are pretty straightforward and seemed to be about someone recovering from some accident or misfortune even before I saw the video, which takes the general theme of the lyrics and makes that ambiguous misfortune into a Yeti attack.

"Unpronounceable" sounds a bit like a theme to an early 90's TGIF show. As far as its staccato arrangement, it absolutely meets the original DAS specs. There's some great production around the edges for headphone folks and some awesome soaring guitars. Something a bit similar about the popcorn in "Good To Be Alive" and the general beat of this, so I'm hoping those two aren't back-to-back on Glean. This was an instant favorite for me.

Just as "Underwater Woman" became one of my favorite DAS tracks almost immediately. Incredibly sad with perfect emotive bass and subtle horns. There's also a startlingly literal video** to accompany it that has some TMBG fans up in arms. No one likes literal interpretations of They Might Be Giants songs.

And, finally, released just yesterday, a dub-flavored, summery Flans jam called "I'm A Coward". Enjoying it more every time I listen to it and I dig that math.

Now, the kvetching...another downside that floated up from the toxic part of my mind is how normal these tracks are. Fully produced, polished and accompanied by an actual music video...they feel too clean. I want more weird. When I first heard about Dial-A-Song returning, I was expecting a lot more stuff like "Lesson 16", "Turtles of North America" and "(She Was A) Hotel Detective In The Future" (and it's accompanying commentary), and, while I'm genuinely enjoying most everything that's comes out, I was hoping for a bit more oddities.

Although, according to Flans, the last few weeks of December are going to be rife with panic and weirdness, so I'm not giving up yet. 

Anyway, another incredibly strong bunch of songs, the majority of which will appear on They Might Be Giants' 17th studio album, Glean, coming April 21st. Glean review should show up here in a few weeks.

And, Alessandro Cortini released his third (and final?) Forse album. Good for him. If you like ambient stuff and/or his first two releases, check it totally out.

Review is HERE!!!!!

* As fully produced and mixed and fleshed out as it is.

** Created by Mark Marek, who's worked with TMBG in the past on their "(She Was A) Hotel Detective" EP cover art and the "Istanbul (Not Constantinople)" music video. 

A review of Alessandro Cortini's "Forse 3"

Don't let the purple vinyl fool you, this album does not contain Alessandro Cortini (Nine Inch Nails, How to destroy angels, SONOIO) covering Prince on a Buchla music easel*.

I was worried this might just be cast offs, leftovers fromForse 1 and Forse 2, but Cortini still has places to take us; tumultuous starfields, deep caverns, and to witness the coronation of unfathomable cosmic entities. 

 

Side A

Conta (Counts)**

Soft, 8-bit future, which builds and blurs and blots itself out.

 

Rimasta (Remained)

Jagged, hissing throb at its start, then a surprisingly rapid pace emerges. The first time a BPM is really noticeable, maybe in the entire trilogy. Deep, soothing waves emerge from within, providing comfort in this place. Dissolves into pixelsteam.

 

Side B

Scappa (Get Away)

Low, cavernous thrum to start, then something almost like strings develops, great juxtaposition, a pure white light shining up from the darkness below. The darkness persists, trying to swallow the light while it still can, the dark gets more menacing, the light more hopeful; it's a beautiful, sorrowful, slow motion battle/ballet. Light prevails, than is muted by the surrounding darkness, they both swell, matching each other until they come together as some royal, elegant hybrid, rising over everything, an absolutely goddamn gorgeous tale, if you've the eyes and ears for it. A dissonant conclusion...

This track makes me yearn for more instruments or some soaring vocals but does a tremendous job of doing what it does, expressing what it does, without the use of them.

 

Scotta (Sheet)

Blippy future stuff, with a grinding pulse beneath. After a moment, things get chaotic, then smooth out, then distort again, then smooth out again.

Noises of various pitches come and go, but nothing really happens here, grating. It just gets exhausting eventually.

 

Side C

Senza Aria (Without Air)

Something light and whimsical about this, delicate. Yet another example of Cortini's warmth and humanity shining through his machines. A human, beating heart powering metal lungs/jaws. I love the way this blossoms, the light descends and brings the lower sections into the celebration, it's almost a counterpoint to "Scappa".

Some golden tones ring out towards the end, unifying high and low, almost a coda. Everything shimmers out over the horizon. Light doesn't fully fade for quite some time...actually starts to get kind of annoying, to be frank.*** Following up a sumptuous meal with an ant-covered candy bar.

Wishing for digital version right about now...

Straight up piercing shriek at the end (at least I hope it's the end). Feels like a "fuck you" from Cortini.

This could have been three minutes shorter and fantastic.

Good name, because, by the end, I felt like I was being strangled.

 

Retta (Straight Line)

After a few uninteresting moments, the melody (very old and heroic) makes itself heard. "Senza Aria" is still lingering and has made me impatient, not a great place to be with any of Cortini's Forse albums. This isn't jogging music.

The playful melody continues to strengthen like sunlight through stained glass. Ends feeling palatial and spacious.

 

Side D

Macchia (Stain)

Wow, like stepping through a doorway and walking right into some sort of cosmic cataclysm. Unlike anything else in the Forse trilogy. The title might refer to something huge and ageless leaking through and tainting multiple realities, very troubling. And very, very big. The word "leviathan" comes to mind. The listener is bearing witness to the passing of something incomprehensible, hence the omnipresent chaotic susurrus in the background. 

 

Ritorna (Returns)

Something cold and militaristic about this; an army, clad in black, searching some ruined dystopian landscape.

There's no real melody here, just pulses of sick, distorted noise. In that sense, it's a bit like "Scotta". The ending gets bigger, bolder, but not much more interesting.

 

Bestia (Beast)

Thick, infected, techno pus. Filthy to hear a machine make such a noise; unique to Forse. Would be at home on something by Aural Rage. As it stands, a far less monumental conclusion to the Forse trilogy than it deserves. Fantastic texture though. The sound of techno-organic poison.

 

Of the twenty nine tracks that make up the Forse trilogy, I'd say there's about twelve really fantastic, stand out pieces among them, the rest, while still well crafted and nuanced (for the most part) end up blurring together. But, for most musicians, it's difficult to do anything more than clumsily wield a Buchla music easel, Cortini utilizes it as a true sonic artist.

 

A quick note regarding formats: I'd recommend not picking up the vinyl unless you're a collector/completionist; the worlds Cortini takes you to shouldn't hiss and pop unless he deems it appropriate. If you must have the limited edition clear, purple vinyl, head over to Important Records and get yours while they're still around. There's also the less ostentatious (and less awesome) black vinyl for five dollars cheaper. If you prefer something a bit more portable than a record, the digital release is set for March 24th on iTunes.

 

* Although I'd pay upwards of a hundred dollars to hear the results.

 

** Not the same "Conta" from Forse 2. I suppose Cortini ran out of two syllable Italian words...?

 

*** Sometimes, I review as I listen to things for the first time, hence the rather drastic change in my tone. Just a heads up.

End of the Month Music Bitchfest - February 2015

They Might Be Giants
Dial-A-Song Round Up! pt. 2

"Hate The Villanelle" (another TMBG song that will makes TMBG fans feel smarter than those of other bands) was premiered rather brokenly back in June of 2014 at an NPR thing in Brooklyn. The album version feels very Phil Collinsey, mainly in the instrumentation. It's a villanelle about how annoying it is to write a villanelle.
*drops bibliography*

You ever get upset that TMBG hasn't made enough music to which one can jitterbug? Meet "Let Me Tell You About My Operation", a brassy Flans number that, like, "Erase" (lyrically) is reminiscent of Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind. Seeing this live at their 2/22 show (with Dan Miller playing the trumpet parts masterfully on his guitar) was one of its highlights, and, while I'd love to see it with real horns, if this is the only live version they roll out, I'm sated.

"Answer" is a very grown-up feeling Linnell number. Reminds me of elements of both his interpretation of Jonathan Lethem's "The Second Longest Night"* and "House of Mayors". If you've never heard those, then you probably now understand how into They Might Be Giants I am. This was debuted at their 2/22 show and went off almost without a hitch, well done, Linnell.

...and then...the bummer...
In April 2013, Flans sent out an email to all IFC members with a "proto demo" of a cover of Jonathan Richman's "I Was Dancing In A Lesbian Bar". He said it was part of a project (called Tres Might Be Giants, featuring bass clarinet, guitar and drums) that was going to happen but never did. It was fun, a slightly more clubby/high-hatted version of the original, but, you know, nothing spectacular; no "New York City" or "Istanbul", yet another cover to add to TMBG's list of covers. I listened a few times and then kind of forgot it. So, how distraught do you think I was to find this to be the 8th song from the deluge of "brand new" They Might be Giants music?
Lots. I was lots distraught.
Yes, this version is slightly different, but it's clear that not a lot changed between this "proto demo" and the final iteration.
But, hey, here's the thing: everything else has been so stellar that I'm willing to accept this as some sort of hiccup and forget it happened. I am, however, very, very anxious about the first DAS release in March.

Next, TMBG just posted a link to their latest fan hug: Flood Live In Australia, which opens with a minute and a half of applause after their "Theme From Flood", a pretty clear indicator that TMBG needs to get there more often.
Strewth.**
Download it for free (as well as their First Album Live) and listen to them back-to-back with the original albums. It's weird and a bit misty-eyed.
And, speaking of live shows, a review (with photos!!!!!!!!!!!!) of their second Brooklyn Stand shows will be up soon.

And, finally, I've managed to find a downside to this overabundance of new They Might Be Giants music (aside from the Week 8 offering and its horrifying implications): Flansburgh announced at their recent Brooklyn show that their new album (entitled Glean and set for release on April 21st) is going to be assembled from the first months of these Dial-A-Song songs. There will be no mystery, no surprise. In other words; there won't be anything new on any of the They Might Be Giants albums coming out this year. Unless they completely blow our fucking minds and release brand new albums alongside their 52 new tracks...which, based on a few statements from Flans, will not be the case.
There.
I knew I'd find something stupid to complain about.
Yay.
I'm an asshole.

P.S. Here's a review of their 2/22 show.

Eels
Eels posted a little taste of the Albert Hall concert film. You can see it here.
And, E has a track on Ben Lee's new mixtape. You can hear that, as well as the rest of the project, here.

Beck
So. Kanye West.

/startrant

Here are some notes I took as this was happening.

Tomorrow's headline: Addled Millionaire Man-Child Embarrasses Jay-Z, Beyonce, Self at 75th Annual Grammy Awards

For one second, imagine that hadn't been Kanye West, just some guy. Shot or just arrested and tasered?

What is it about money and fame that allows rude idiots with no grasp on reality to get away with things like this? Insane vs eccentric.

Then there's the fact that Morning Phase is better than Beyoncé.

Are my concerns because he was rude? No, because the media has given this jackass a mouthpiece and they praise him for this: "He's not unstable...he's wacky! And, seriously, thank Christ for this delightful jester and his outrageous rambling japes! If it weren't for him, we'd have to focus the music and not the people making the music! Which would not be lol!!!!!

If you're so sick and tired of being disrespected in the industry, then leave the fucking industry. The impetus for his pee riot is the same impetus that makes people go on the subway and scream about God when they personally feel people don't go to church enough, only they get ignored, because they're not this rich and celebrated cock. Also, quick survey: how many times, after being forcibly exposed to some God Shouter, have you thought "you know, that screaming zealot is right! I'm going to make a fresh start right now!"? If you answered anything other than never, then you're probably too dumb to even have understood the question, or even read this.

Can we get Kanye to wire his jaw shut again? But, I don't know...tighter this time?

/endrant

And, finally got around to listening to the new Aphex Twin EP, Computer Conducted Acoustic Instruments Pt.2. In two words: Yes. More.
It's dark and sinister and organic*** and funky and jazzy and scary as hell. You can feel James' demon's grin behind every discordant plink and clonk. But there is some beauty, specifically the soft, gorgeous piano piece, "Piano Un10 It Happened"****. There's also the genteel robot playing piano on "Piano Un1 Arpej" and again on "Disk Aud1_12", although, on that second one, the robot is clearly short circuiting. "Diskhat1" feels like the soundtrack for a gangly, razor-wielding psychopath's night out on the town, painting it red. "Diskprept4" is the introduction to a new, insane clockwork villain for the next season of Doctor Who and also feels like Reznor and Ross' Dragon Tattoo. "Disk Prep Calrec2 Barn Dance [Slo]" could be…perhaps…the circus' funeral procession for a dead clown who may have killed a kid.

Hey, remember, ten seconds ago when I said "Yes. More."?...Richard D. James just released a hundred and fucking ten unreleased and/or new Aphex Twin tracks.
If you need to know why, just look at his smile and all questioned will be answered...
Here are all 110, ready for free download.





* Jonathan Lethem developed the "Promiscuous Materials Project". You should check it out.

** Just kidding, they performed the album backwards...like, the song order, not, like, facing away from the crowd... But, still, they really should get to Australia more often.

*** But organic like a cyborg's skin that's been grown in a lab from human peptides could be considered organic. You can really imagine Richard D. James in a huge white room filled with acoustic instruments all being played by metal arms and legs that he's programmed.

**** Yeah, the track titles on this are pretty fucking awesome.

End of the Month Music Bitchfest - January 2015

They Might Be Giants
Welcome to the first of, oh, let's say, twelve installations of...

The Dial-A-Song Round-Up!*

Dial-A-Song returned this month with four brand new They Might Be Giants recordings, the first of which is a straight up guitar-centric rocker helmed by Mr. John Linnell. It's called "Erase" and is a fabulous start to this Year of Dial-A-Song. It fits with the age old TMBG trope of pairing bouncy, frenetic music with dark-as-hell lyrics ("when darlings must be murdered/when your heartbreak overwhelms your heart", "think of this as solving problem that should never have occured/please don't call it strangulation, that is such an ugly word", "the skeletons that won't stay down/the mercy kill that can't be drowned"). Such a return to form...it's almost too perfect.

Next, is a mellow, piano-driven track led by Flans called "Madam, I Challenge You To A Duel". At their show on January 25th, where this (and every other DAS song, for that matter) was debuted live, Flansburgh revealed that the genesis of the song came from this YouTube clip of Oliver Reed and Shelley Winters on the Tonight Show back in 1975. I'd like to imagine the number of songs with that origin can be counted on one, giant, foam finger. 

After that, already breaking from form, is a circusy/balladey type thing featuring Corn Mo as the sole vocalist. It's called "No Cops" and tells the story of a group of people who seem to have taken the band and the audience hostage ("we’ve locked all the doors and please understand/we’ve nailed down the latch so meet our demands/in the time that we permit, or else the band will get it"). They then go on to say that "(they) are here to steal your dreams" and then urge us to "listen and comply". This will serve as the new introduction music for TMBG's upcoming world tour.
Obviously. 

And, finally, the crown in this first month's collection, "Music Jail, Part 1 & 2"**.
Part 2 is my favorite and should be yours as well. I'm not even going to explain this, just listen for yourself. Also: how fucking insane is that video?

A wholly excellent offering for TMBG fans for this first month of Dial-A-Song.
It can only get worse from here.

As for that January 25th concert I mentioned earlier...that is to be the first of twelve shows at the Williamsburg Hall of Music that TMBG are having the last Sunday of each month for the entire year. Aside from two or three tracks I could've done without (you can probably guess which ones by now), it was a total blast and I'm looking forward to the rest of my spoiled-rotten-by-They-Might-Be-Giants year. Review of the show can be found here.

Eels
While working on the follow up to The Cautionary Tales Of Mark Oliver Everett, Eels will be releasing a new live album (and concert film), specifically of their performance from June 2014 at the Royal Albert Concert Hall. A little surprised and bummed they didn't put one out for their fantastic 2013 tour, but, knowing E, that's not an impossibility.
Fingers crossed.
Info and pre-orders and stuff here.



In other news, I sifted through some of the "best of" lists from the end of 2014, namely, Rolling Stone's, NPR's, and that of my friend, Will. Most of what I listened to has become a blur except for the following:

• Haley Bonar's The Last War is utterly fucking fantastic (thank you, Will).
• Sia, FKA Twigs and Banks should all tour together and end the evening with a massive, suicide fuck pit.
• Rolling Stone no longer knows anything about music.

The new Manson album, The Pale Emperor, was released earlier this month and I reviewed it. It's the best thing he's done in over a decade, but it's still not very good. One thing I do have to compliment him on is the packaging***; it's minimalist in a way I've never seen from Manson and it's very effective. The requisite photos of Mason are very well shot and tell a story that the album's songs do not. The disc is as close to pure black as one can achieve in this day and age of record label branding, logos and those god damned cocksucking anti-piracy marks****, plus, the front and back of the packaging have a distinct sandpaper texture that I've never encountered before on an album. And, yes, I know that, when one is giving the most praise from an album to its artwork that there's a real fucking problem.
Like I said: it's still not very good.
You can read the full review here.

Finally, it's been over four years since Cake released any new music and, you know what? I'm done with them. So, replacing Cake for the foreseeable future on the End of the Month Music Bitchfest is....

St. Vincent
Annie Clark (who got so many goddamn rightly deserved Best Of The Year awards for her mind-blowing self titled album) will be releasing a deluxe edition of her St. Vincent featuring five bonus tracks; three of them awesome ("Del Rio", "Pieta" (a recent live staple), Sparrow"), two of them not as awesome ("Bad Believer", the Darkside remix of "Digital Witness").
She's expanded her tour again***** and will also be contributing to David Byrne's new project "Contemporary Colors", which, despite both their involvement, is centered around color guard and, therefore, I have no interest in.

And there you are; 2015 is here. I expect those two new TMBG albums, maybe some more Beck, hopefully a fucking peep from Reznor and the announcement of that new Eels by Q3. Otherwise, I'm turning this whole thing around and we're going to try again...until we get it right.





* Shit my dick, am I as bad as ever with titles...

** According to Linnell, it would have been called "Music Jail Parts 1 & 2", except somebody typed the name in wrong.

*** Although I should probably be complimenting the designer who came up with it.

**** LIKE THOSE EVER STOPPED ANYONE FROM PIRATING ANYTHING! AND ANOTHER THING! WHY DO YOU ONLY HAVE THOSE FUCKING ANTI-PIRACY REMINDERS ON THE BLU-RAYS I PURCHASE?! I ALREADY PURCHASED IT! I DIDN'T PIRATE IT, YOU STUPID, USELESS FUCKS!

***** If you missed it the first time, don't make the same asshole idiot mistake again.

A review of They Might Be Giants at the Williamsburg Hall of Music - 1.25.15

Let's begin with the admission that I am completely spoiled. One of my very favorite bands lives within a fifteen mile radius of where I live and, therefore, end up playing a whole lot of shows near me, so I get to see them a whole lot.
That being said: this year, on the last Sunday of every month, They Might Be Giants will have a concert at the Williamsburg Hall of Music...a ten minute cab from my home.
I plan on going to all twelve.
The first of these shows was on January 25th, my birthday.
Another bonus: for the majority of these, there is no opener; doors are at 7, TMBG takes the stage at 8 and plays until just about 10. I showed up less than a half hour before doors and ended up dead center, seven feet from Mr. John Linnell's keyboard.

Now, onto the show: I hadn't seen They Might Be Giants since December of 2013, and I usually find that these shows, the "first in a long time" shows, tend to be something special. TMBG had wrapped up their Nanobots tour at the end of 2013, and, aside from three or four special shows in 2014, had sequestered themselves in the studio, creating two new albums set for release later this year as well as (I assume) the bulk of their 2015 Dial-A-Song offerings.
On the whole, this was a fabulously well-rounded show, featuring a handful of live staples ("Birdhouse In Your Soul", "Istanbul (Not Constantinople)" (featuring the Screaming Space Rock interlude)), some old favorites returning for the first time in a long time ("Spiraling Shape", "Cyclops Rock"), brand new, never-performed-live songs, most from TMBG's recently resurrected Dial-A-Song service ("Erase", "Music Jail, Part 1 & 2"), some newer live staples ("When Will You Die?", "Hey, Mr. DJ, I Thought You Said We Had A Deal"), and, a few tracks I'd prefer to never hear again ("Damn Good Times" (with which they opened), "The Mesopotamians")*.

Standouts included "Cyclops Rock", "Man, It's So Loud In Here" (which I hadn't heard in its pre-Mink Car arrangement since 1999 or so), "We're The Replacements", "Spiraling Shape" and "Call You Mom". Also the banter...always the banter.

Next month is their "First Album Show".





* But, at least the Avatars of They appear to have been retired. They were funny the first five times but then...yeesh...

The Radio Mercury Awards

For the past ten or so years, I've been working as a professional voice actor in New York City (90-95% VO, 5-10% on screen actor).
The majority of VO auditions I go out on are boring, banal and completely lacking the cool/important/effective sound or vibe that the writers/clients want and need so desperately. Every once in a while, a job will come along that is rewarding, challenging, and fun (Speakaboos, Target) but those are exceptions.
Some of the more overused and tired directions these scripts come with are "not-announcery", "conversational", "friendly" and so on. Although these are well known tropes, often it seems like no one is doing anything to change the status quo. How can we make people think of something more interesting? To challenge themselves to write better copy and push their limits?
Offer them money, of course.
So, then there was the Radio Mercury Awards, who give $50,000 dollars to the agency/production company who comes up with the most creative/innovative/entertaining etc. radio ad.*
Anyway, about a month or so ago, my friend and VP of Just Voices, Roger, got in touch with an audition that was pretty much right up my alley: I had to do about a dozen different voices, each one mocking the shitty copy I've been reading for a decade.
I played like a child in the ocean.
I auditioned, felt great about it, and, a day later, booked it.
I got to record in one of my favorite studios in the city (Sound Lounge) and work with some giants of the industry, who I proceeded to impress and delight with my vocals skills and then, on top of all this...I was given money for it.
Long story short: here's the first part of what we shot, enjoy.

Things We Don't Want to Hear in a Radio Ad (Part 1) from Radio Mercury Awards on Vimeo.

* And a bunch of random sums to Best New Agency, Runners Up and so on.

A review of Marilyn Manson's "The Pale Emperor"

My hopes were, admittedly, low as I waded into Marilyn Manson’s 9th studio album, The Pale Emperor. Would it be a sad, wet fart? A leaking bag of liquescent, worm-ridden feces? Something worse? Or…something listenable…maybe even…enjoyable?

The biggest problem with this album is Manson, specifically his voice and his lyrics (except for a tiny handful of tracks). Also, the down-n-dirty thump drums are way, way, way overused, but, aside from those two (arguably, pretty crucial) issues…sweet Christ I cannot believe I’m saying this after so long…this album is not a reeking pit of garbage.
This is a compliment.

Things get off to a genuinely solid start with “Killing Strangers”. Seriously. No bells and whistles, no pointless, droning intros, just some utterly filthy bass and guitar, as well as some percussion that could either be a mud caked maraca or a gun being cocked. Although there is some of that silly, lazy, not-really word play (“this world doesn’t need no opera / we’re here for the operation”), it’s not overly grating. Throw in a really nice eerily moody, sorrowfully melodic outro and, holy shit, you’ve gotten my hopes up, Marilyn…wait, why are you handing me a box of tissues…? And smiling?

Things…depreciate…from this point on until almost the end of the album. For as garbled as his vocals are, one can’t deny that “Cupid Carries A Gun” is a pretty well made song. After that, the closer, “Odds Of Even”, which has some excellent atmospheric layers, ameliorates some of what’s come before it. Like the majority of the tracks on Pale Emperor, it’s too good for Manson’s vocals. There’s some chilling, old school croaking from Manson towards the end, a pleasant throwback for fans.

Along with those three tracks, a few others stand out, mainly (pretty much solely), for their music and not their vocals or lyrics, specifically “Mephistopheles of Los Angeles”, “Warship My Wreck”* and “Slave Only Dreams To Be King”. If you’re keeping count, that six solid tracks of the ten that make up The Pale Emperor. A stunning ratio.

I also need to take a moment and give sincere praise to the one and only clever turn of phrase on the album: in the single, “Deep Six”, a song mentioning Zeus and Narcissus, as well as referring to Icarus, Manson has the lyric (repeated maybe a few times too many) “Eros is sore”…well done, Marilyn. Whether this came from hours of quiet reflection or you seeing the word “sore” quietly reflected in a pool of semen (he’d probably have random pools of semen strewn about his home, yes? He is still the God of Fuck, right?): I am impressed.

But. This one shining example is embedded in a viscous ocean of mung. Some examples: “I don’t want your God and your higher power / I want power to get higher” (“The Devil Beneath My Feet”), “You are what you beat” (“Slave Only Dreams To Be King”), and “You want to know what Zeus said to Narcissus? / ‘You’d better watch yourself’” (“Deep Six”). Ugh. I try not to think too hard about the “meaning” of his lyrics these days, because doing so is like sifting through shit looking for undigested peanuts.
And just as rewarding.

To get off my snark horse for a moment, I did have another real issue; when I listen to this album, I get no sense of who this “pale emperor” is supposed to be. Is it Death? Because nothing on offer really cements that or any other idea. There’s war imagery, talk of guns, God, the Devil, demons, angels; there’s a “King” mentioned in “Slave Only Dreams To Be King” and a line in “Cupid Carries A Gun” referring to Death (“Folks say that I look like Death”), but none of that is the same as constructing a storyline or creating a character. Unlike Antichrist Superstar and, to a lesser extent, Mechanical Animals and Holy Wood, where there was a clear narrative with characters, and a beginning, middle and end, this is just a collection of songs plagued with Thumpy Drums. I’ll fully admit to being drawn in immediately by the title; it’s very evocative, and this lack of depth is the biggest letdown for me, even when stacked next to Manson’s near-useless voice and overwrought lyrics.

There are three things I would say to Manson if he weren’t preoccupied with…I don’t know…filling ravens with cocaine and then slamming them up his ass?…that sounds outlandish and silly enough to be something he’d do, right?

1. Fix your voice. I’m not talking about auto tune or anything along those lines, I’m talking about maybe drinking some water or not singing first thing in the morning or removing all the socks from your mouth before hitting “record”. Vocally, the songs here fall into two categories, for the most part: irascible ranting or groggy mumbling. Sometimes the ranting is groggy, sometimes the mumbling is irascible, but, either way, it’s mostly garbage. Quite frankly, I just can’t understand a lot of what the fuck he’s saying without a lyric sheet in front of me. It’s distracting.
2. Repeating something several times in one three and a half minute song doesn’t make it clever or expose a deeper meaning. In fact, if it’s just barely tolerable the first time, it only gets worse with each repetition. It’s called “diminishing returns”, Marilyn…and I am 100% certain you’ve heard that term a few times in the last decade.
3. Stick with Tyler Bates (guitarist, keyboardist and co-producer on Pale Emperor). While it might not be groundbreaking, the music here is miles better than anything you’ve done (with or without Twiggy) in the past ten years.

Aside from The Golden Age Of Grotesque, released in 2003, this is, shockingly, one of Manson’s best albums, alas, he’s still missing the clarity, focus and fury of his best works. He just doesn’t really have anything to say anymore, nothing we want or need to hear anyway. I’m done expending my energy hoping Marilyn Manson is going to have some sort of renaissance. I think Pale Emperor is the best we can expect from him now, in the same way that thyroid cancer is the best kind of cancer someone can get.

A note on the bonus tracks: all three are acoustic-esque renditions of tracks from the album, namely “Third Day Of A Seven Day Binge” (“Day 3”), “The Mephistopheles of Los Angeles” (“Fated, Faithful, Fatal”), and “Odds Of Even” (“Fall Of The House Of Death”), so, if you’re favorite aspect of those three songs is Manson’s vocals, then the deluxe version of the album is for you.  

* Stupid pun or sloppy spellchecking? You decide!

A review of Marilyn Manson's "Deep Six"

Is that a toilet seat cover on his face?

The first twenty-one seconds of "Deep Six", the newest single from Manson's upcoming emission, The Pale Emperor, are good.
Then, the vocals, drums, guitar and bass come in and that changes pretty deistically.

The first "verse" and the fourth "verse" are the same, as are the second and third "verse".
Yes, there is grumpy, mush-mouthed mumbling.
Yes, there is bad word play, repeated ad infinitum (you wanna know what Zeus said to Narcissus? / you better watch yourself"). Get it? Huh? Get it?

There's something somewhat appealing about the mantra towards the end and Manson pushing his voice to new heights of agony at times, but whether that's good or not, I'm not going to hazard an opinion.

This is, hands down, the most interesting thing we've heard from TPE thus far, including the first official single "Third Day Of A Seven Day Binge", "Cupid Carries A Gun" (which was used for the opening credits of Salem), and "Killing Strangers" (which was featured in the recent Keanu Reeves' blood orgy, John Wick).
That isn't saying very much.

The Pale Emperor begins his reign of mediocrity January 19th.
Hear "Deep Six", pre-order the standard or deluxe album (featuring three bonus tracks) or the hilarious, limited edition "definitive box" here, and mitigate your expectations.