Aeon Reflux

This title is so fucking clever and apt that...I...aw, FUCK, just you wait....

*breathe*

Let us begin...

Tried to go to bed early on Friday, failed.
Woke at 8:30 to shower and head to the most south and east corner of Manhattan for another day of shooting Unker & Physia with Jess and Phil and Kris and Chris and Andrea and Minna and Veronica and other people with names.
Despite a bunch of hitches, it went pretty well and we finished shooting an entire episode.
Anyone who happens to be Will Pomerantz will recognize my costume...much thanks for your gift of silk, Mr. Basa.
Tasty taste.

Then I got lost looking for a subway and accidentally wandered through some sort of Little Italy fair day or something. It was...brutish...
After some time I found myself next to the Noho Star and quickly boarded the 6.
Once I got home, I decided that I wanted to eat ribs and watch the rest of Aeon Flux (which I'd started the night before), which, if you are unfamiliar...just...don't, don't, okay?
Track down the episode called "Chronophasia" and, if you dig it, call me and, if not, just...just don't, okay? Just don't.
I can't really think of any voice actors utterly owning and defining their characters more than Denise Poirier as Aeon and John Lee as Trevor Goodchild, they really knock it out of the park.
It was especially challenging for them as these two characters had never spoken once (well, Aeon said "Plop." in the short "Leisure", but, since when does "plop" count? Stop thinking about it...) and yet already had such strong personalities thanks to Peter Chung's artistry.
And, speaking of Peter Chung (the creator of Aeon Flux), there was a little documentary about Aeon Flux in which he states that the idea for Aeon Flux, who and what she was, how she moved and all that, came from his frustration from working on Rugrats.
Yeah.
The guy who created Aeon Flux played a huge role on Rugrats.
He said he was getting tired of these clumsy characters that couldn't really do anything, and so he created this dominatrix assassin ninja badass...the complete opposite of a baby.
And then he decided that she would die at the end of every episode.
Way to fight the babies, Chung.

Anyway, ribs.
Thankfully, a new smokehouse just opened down the god damn street from me (John Brown's Smokehouse) and I was in luck.
I ordered $30 worth of ribs and put them all on, then in, my face, as is the proper fashion.

After finishing the ribs, the Aeon Flux series and all the Aeon Flux shorts (I'd forgotten how awesome, beautiful and hilariously over-the-top these things were when it came to the violence and sexual content, the completely random sexual content), I remembered that, on the Aeon Flux DVD, there was a little collection of bits from Liquid Television.
Liquid Television was...it was one of the reasons people used to love MTV; it was the stuff they did that wasn't music videos that actually worked on a channel called "Music Television".
Liquid TV and The State and The Maxx and The Head, all these things were so...fresh...and NEW, it's just crushing to see what's become of this once great experiment in culture.
I miss it so.
Anyway, after experiencing all that good, I decided to watch the Aeon Flux movie...which I remembered as being bad, but, hey, I AM AN IDIOT.

Some notes:

No, you know what?
One note: this was a movie about something else entirely, and MTV just used the names and locations from Aeon Flux.
Boom.
They also mispronounced Bregna (BREN-ya) as BREG-na, the awful fucks.
And they fucked up the character's backgrounds, motivations and fucking everything else.
Like I said: they must have had some shitty sci-fi script ready to go, then decided to cash in on all the good faith and credibility that Japhet Asher and Peter Chung had garnered from this amazing, singular creation and waste it on this piece of shit.
After about a half hour, I gave in to how exhausted I was and went to bed at 3-ish.

After four magic hours of sleep, I awoke to find the $30 worth of ribs trying to flee my body by any means necessary.
I'll be honest...I spent a tense twenty minutes or so wandering, naked, around my empty apartment (Chris had gone to New Paltz for the weekend, leaving me alone to DIE), murmuring to my stomach, slowly petting it downward in order to encourage peristalsis and discourage reverse peristalsis and convince the food to go in the direction that Jesus the Christ intended and not the other way, and, after setting my pillows at a 90 degree angle, I slept on, not dying.

Honestly, I'm not sure if it was the ribs that did this or something else, but, believe you me, I'm only going to try their food like four more times.
I'M A BLOCK AWAY FROM A POTENTIAL PULLED PORK SANDWICH PIPELINE, YOU'RE FUCKING-A I'M GOING TO TRY THEM AGAIN.

I woke later that day and...hm...forgot what I did the rest of the day it seems...maybe played Samurai Shodown in the original Japanese...?...then Chris came home and we watched The Cabin In The Woods, which, somehow, I had not had spoiled for me.
And, you guys?
Holy shit.
I'm just going to leave it at that because there's nothing I can say about this movie that will make it any better.
Just go and watch it.
Watch and love it.
It really is like nothing you've seen before.

After all this madness was done, I finished the first season of Homeland and saw some of the best acting Claire Danes has ever done.
Her manic episodes are so beautifully and tragically acted...aw man.
Do Emmys still matter?
If they do, give one to her.

Then, there was sleep.
But not, it seems, enough.
Then, before work today, I made a little thank you for the Sex Geniuses that run Bookend Tiger Radio, as they are having ME as their guest on this week's episode!!!
I am ecstatic and nervous, not at the quality of my performance, I always deliver the goods, it's what I do, but more because I'm going to try recording the whole thing on ProTools from my end so Andy can just drop in my side of the conversation sourced from my sexy mouth talking stick.
Ladies and gentlemen, prepare for Buttered Sex Honey.*
I'm confident that my appearance on this podcast will result in my instant and meteoric rise to stardom, nationally, internationally and, thanks to the satellite technology utilized by Dan and Andy, galactically.
So, be ready.

This sudden rush to film the majority of Unker & Physia has left me feeling a bit...frayed, but, whatever happens, it's done by November first, so it's my job as a professional actor to do what I can to make it the best goddamn web series you won't watch because, while it's so easy to click "like" on Facebook, how many of you have actually bought my fucking audio book?
Don't apologize to me, apologize to Phil!
I only read it, he created it!
Fuck.

Anyway, you can purchase Philip Tucker's The Grind Show audio book on Amazon right now!!!
It's eight hours of your superimportantbusy time spent listening to a silken-voiced god-king (me) telling you about love, loss and demons.

Also, the Speakaboos story, the Tortoise and the Hare has been uploaded! I'm the Fox (doing a passable Paul Lynde) and the Bear (just kind of sweet and dumb)!
Go to www.speakaboos.com, where you will be greeted by a friendly dragon (voiced by me) and then click on the story, then "Read It Myself".
Click on the Fox and Bear and BOOM, I'm in your ears!
I'm also Humpty Dumpty (the egg, not the leader of Digital Underground), the narrator of The Boy Who Cried Wolf and either Turkey Lurky or Cocky Locky in Chicken Little, I honestly cannot remember which.
There will be a lot more soon...

Hm...all right, it's 10:16. Now I'm going to sit and ponder nothingness in preparation for the coming void.

Nam myoho renge kyo.
Hai!

*BWOOOOONG*








* This is in reference to the quality of my voice and not the funk octet from the early 1970's. Again, the funk octet from the early 1970's, Buttered Sex Honey will NOT be performing on this week's Bookend Tiger Radio podcast.

A return to the banal

THIS IS NOT ABOUT BANE OR ANAL AND HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH BANE OR ANAL, SO JUST STOP, OKAY?

Thank you...jeez!

Since returning from the Great White Whale, I've gotten back into my routine of watching...things...

Although I've seen it before once or twice, I had a hankering to watch The Departed again...and so I did.
Martin Scorsese can really only do one thing right, but, well, he does it right, so who cares? One thing I didn't remember from the last time I saw this was all the deus ex machina that happens.
Oh, Matt Damon left the ridiculously incriminating envelope on his desk for anyone to see.
Oh, the entire time Nicholson had some other mole buried way deep in the State Police.
Oh, some other.example that I'm too tired to remember.
Great movie though, it manages to keep that crazy ultra-violence without the silly accents of the Italians...although the Boston accents are pretty funny, I'm looking at you, Alec Baldwin, Mark Wahlberg and Martin Sheen (whose accent might be the funniest because it disappears from time to time...like a spring peeper!)

I also rewatched Hot Rod, which still holds up beautifully as one of the best comedies in the vein of Wet Hot American Summer since Wet Hot American Summer. Not quite surreal comedy...more like...hyper realistic? Absurd? Whatever. Hot Rod can suck its own dick...and does...a lot.

Chris and I have begun (and are almost done)* rewatching Firefly and remain utterly baffled as to why it was cancelled. Was it the excellent writing? The really solid acting? Maybe the well-rounded and multi-faceted characters, perhaps? Well, I'm sure you made the right choice Fox...you always do what's best for people.

And, after considering her recommendation for about a year, I have finally taken Becca's advice and started watching Homeland, starring Claire Danes looking like smoothie made of cuteness, paranoia and screaming psychosis. I am enjoying it thus far and my only regret is that I will be finished with the first season weeks and maybe months before the second season is out and available for totally legal download.
I used to watch My So-Called Life** and seeing our little Angela screaming obscenities and doing other adult things that would have melted MTV in the 90's is...well...weird, it's fucking weird.

In news not relating to things that aren't real...does that scan...?...yes...anyway, Saturday, Jen and Lisa joined Chris and I to eat much meat at Alobar (bacon-wrapped meatloaf...all of it...in me...) and give the brand new Second Expansion of Cards Against Humanity a twirl.
Some very nice additions.
Sadly, I don't think I can play that game for a while...between the laughpocalypse with Chris, Jim and Phil a few weeks ago and this most recent foray, I don't want to overuse this gift, na'mean?
BUT that won't be a problem for long, as Resident Evil 6 comes out in a few short weeks and (maybe) I'm going to have a sleepover with Jen and Lisa and we're going to do my hair and talk about boys' butts and kill the living shit out of the victims of the most recent Umbrella Corporation abomination.
And make popped corn.

On Sunday, Chris and I met up with Hillary and Alex at Bare Burger and talked of things which aren't really public yet, I don't think.
She was in town to get shoes and do some ADR for the upcoming film The East which is going to be awesome for her.
Then Chris and I spent about forty five minutes with a ten-week old, black French bulldog and almost bought it...but, luckily, we thought it over and, after finding out that that particular pet store was investigated for buying puppies from a puppy mill, we decided against it.
And I'll say no more on the subject because it will break both our hearts.

And, finally, today, one Jen Rock began her internship at MY shitty Hospital. After her shift, we got lunch and macarons and then ate them loudly in front of the statue that I thought was Christopher Columbus, but which is not.
Bummer.

Now, I might write a song about having a Birthday party for a box of pancake mix.
I just don't know.









* Fuck you so hard, Fox.

** That's putting it mildly. My friends, Kirsten Snyder and Elizabeth Burden actually called each other characters from the show...I was Brian Krakow... * sigh *